'Disclosure: As a mental health advocate, I took a pledge as part of the #stigmafree campaign to actively work towards removing the stigma surrounding mental health misconceptions by sharing my story.'   Please note: My podcast documents my journey through mental illness. Your mental health is my first concern. In some of my episodes or writing I refer to issues that I struggled with, that may be a trigger for some individuals.

F@!* Normal: I'm a Haute Mess

I have always been my own worst critic. I hated how my mind worked. Emotions never made sense to me. They were intense and unpredictable. Mine. Everyone around me.  I had gone through more than I could handle. I was in the worst depressive episode of my life. It was raining and I was crying on the side of the road.  I don't know how long I had been standing in the middle of the street in the dark. All I remember was seriously thinking through, "how fast" a car had to be going when it hit me to just hurt me enough so I would go to the hospital but not actually kill me. That way all the pain I felt inside would be visible to everyone, including myself.