Having It A.L.L.

I’ve always been inspired by the genius men and women who were able to take a concept such as love, or effectiveness or even personal finance, and find the patterns within them that can allow ordinary mortals like you and I to tap into and experience these things fully.

Well before I had a podcast called Having It A.L.L., I had an idea about what “having it all” meant to me, and I witnessed much passion, anger, conviction, judgement, confusion and frustration around the topic.

I knew there was something there worth exploring, and I had the time and curiosity to do it.

I set out to create a framework for what having it all meant to me, so that I would be able to (from the most objective place possible), declare whether or not I felt that I had it all in life at that particular moment.

In this episode, and for the next several weeks, I’m exploring the framework that I developed thanks to my curiosity, experimentation, mentoring, researching and reflection.

Today’s episode is about ABUNDANCE and what that word truly means.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

I have the pleasure of knowing some pretty amazing people where I live in Atlanta, and my guest today is one of them.

Her name is Kemi Bennings, and the best way to describe her is as a creative, loving, spiritual being who is always learning and always growing.

Kemi is a woman of many gifts and has worn many hats over the years: writer, poet, producer, lifecoach, nurse, entrepreneur, promoter, curator …. Kemi truly is an artist and is involved in any and all things artistic.

But at her core, Kemi is a vessel testing the bounds of what it looks like to be a spiritual being having a human experience.

In this episode we talk about gifts, fear, and what it means to fully tap into the creator in each of us.

What you'll learn in this episode:

What does having it all mean to you?

It’s a question that I ask all of the guests I have on the show, and it’s a question to which I’ve never heard the exact same answer twice.

I started this podcast partly because of the polarizing nature of that question.

On one side you have people who believe that you can have it all, and who are quick to give their version of what it looks like. On the other side you have people who vehemently argue that having it all is not possible and that saying you can have it all is irresponsible.

Just do a quick google search of the phrase and you’ll see all sorts of results that paint the question in a light or dark tone.

I’ve thought about that question for a number of years, and as I put together the bones of this show I decided that I wanted to create a framework around my belief about having it all.

Pulling from personal resources for effectiveness, love and peace, as well as consulting with a number of trusted advisors and mentors, I developed a framework for having it all that allows me to, as objectively as possible, determine whether I truly have it all in my life.

In this episode I dive into that framework, breaking down the meaning behind A.L.L. - Abundant Loving Life. I open up my toolbox for having it all and introduce concepts that I will dig into deeper in future episodes.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

What the heck is “otherness”?

I know I had that question swirling in my mind when I was doing my research on my next guest.

This concept of “otherness”, described in the way that my guest described it, was not framed in a way I was accustomed.

But what I learned in my conversation with Dale Thomas Vaughn was that otherness is rooted in fear, and fear is not the path to greatness.

I’m sounding like Yoda now, but I firmly believe that!

Dale Thomas Vaughn is a Renaissance Man, in the most pure sense of the word. He is a man of balance, purpose and sophistication, all of which we get into in our conversation.

Dale helps men rescript their beliefs of what it means to be masculine. Through his books, lectures, workshops and organizations, he is helping men discover their purpose so they can live more joyful and fulfilled lives.

Not a small undertaking.

Dale’s personal relationship to love and loving himself has been a journey that has literally taken him around the world. Love fuels his big WHY, and it’s at the core of who Dale is as a man.

This conversation was particularly powerful for me because I had an opportunity to examine beliefs I had around balance (a topic that comes up in the episode), as well as an opportunity to practice humility. I talked about that in last week’s episode.

Dale is extremely intelligent and has clearly put in the reps to become an expert on the subject matter he tackles.

Have some note taking material on hand because you’ll want to jot a few things down in this one.

Oh, and “The Myth Of Tomorrow” stuff...well you’ll just have to listen to find out : )

What you’ll learn in this episode:

We have all been in a situation where another person has challenged a belief that we held. 

Big or small, we know what it feels like to be questioned and to then feel like we need to defend our beliefs. 

Well, I'm no stranger to this either, and I had an excellent opportunity to experience this very thing during a recent podcast interview!

The episode that you're about to listen to was recorded just minutes after I had my belief challenged on air. I decided that I wanted to capture the moment as it was happening, and share my experience with you. 

The original episode where my previously held belief was challenged will be publishing soon (most likely directly after this one), but this episode is about what happened and how I responded. 

What you'll hear in this episode:

How do you define “rich”?

If you’re like me and most Americans, the first words that come to mind when you hear “rich” are probably about money or something financially related.

Makes sense. That’s the context we’re most used to hearing.

And I’m sure my guest thought that way as well for a period of time.

But somewhere during her journey her definition of “rich” shifted.

Maybe it was after hearing Nick Vujicic’s story (see the show notes).

Today Dee Reilly defines richness in terms of happiness and satisfaction, and has devoted her career to helping people live deeply fulfilling lives.

Dee’s personal story has its fair share of ups and downs, and that’s what lends her work more power. She’s been there. She’s experienced it. She knows what growing up without means feels like. She knows what losing her sense of security as an adult feels like. And she also knows what it’s like to dust herself off, continuing to believe in her ability to persevere.

These experiences, combined with her fascination with the scientific, measurable means to happiness, have put Dee head and shoulders ahead of others in her field when it comes to outlining how to feel happy, satisfied, and connected.

Dee is inspired to not only uncover ways the people can improve their lives, but find research backing her recommendations. She digs into the science behind everything that she teaches, so that she and her clients can sink their teeth into the information to create the most significant and lasting change in their lives.

She takes new age chanting and positive thinking, and uncovers why these things may and may not be effective, and get into the meat of what really works.

In our conversation we talk about beliefs and how they shape our reality, we talk about how to become an observer of yourself, and the power of coaching and mentorship.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

“We are all creators. Whether or not we create is not up to us. We are human, and creating is what we do.” - Michael Gungor

You are a creator! Yes, you. Whether you not you believe it is irrelevant, because like Michael Gungor said, “We are human and creating is what we do.”

In every role we play in life -- parent, spouse, friend, lover, community member, coach -- we create experiences and meaning.

Today’s episode is an exercise in creation. I followed the advice of a friend and fellow podcaster, and recorded this episode with no notes and no script. Every part of this episode was created organically, on the spot.

I did that because i wanted to exercise my muscles of creation, and what resulted was a powerful reflection on creative, the creative process, and tapping into our creative potential.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

Monique Ruffin is a celebration of living. She is one of those people that folks say has “A beautiful soul”.

And I completely understand why.

Monique grew up in the neighborhood of Watts in Los Angeles. Yes, that Watts. It's where Sanford And Sons was set, and was where Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke duke it out in Training Day.

That neighborhood is not known for many empowering things, but it’s where Monique called home.

Growing up in an area impacted by crack, with parents in and out of jail, many wouldn’t have been surprised if Monique failed to transcend her environment. But she did, and in a big way.

Monique is a mother, writer, creator, coach, radio host and group facilitator. But most of all she’s an example of what it looks like to live with heart, authenticity, courage, vulnerability and realness.

In our conversation, Monique and I talk about her childhood, the lessons she’s learned as a mother, and how we can all grow beyond our circumstances.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

At the end of last week's episode I left you with a cliffhanger.

Last week I was talking about FEEDBACK and the power of feedback to ensure you stay on path in life. I introduced the question, "What's the point of being on path if you don't know where the path is leading you to?"

I left you with the promise that the next episode would be about Mission Statements and would feature a special guest. 

Well...here we are!

This week I have an incredibly awesome guest with me, live in the studio (first episode with a guest in the flesh with me), and we get down and dirty on everything about Personal Mission Statements. 

Most people have heard of Mission Statements within businesses or organizations. But have you ever thought about how a Personal Mission Statement might impact your life?

The difference between a life that's fueled by a clear, intentional mission, and one that is not, can be staggering. 

What you'll learn in this episode:

If a Hall of Fame existed for podcasting, John Lee Dumas would be voted in on the first round. As the creator of the insanely popular business podcast, Entrepreneur On Fire, John has interviewed the most successful entrepreneurs of today. People like Pat Flynn, Seth Godin, Tim Ferriss, Tony Robbins and Gary Vaynerchuk. 

I had the chance to sit down with John on my previous show, The Digital Marketing Guy Podcast, and although it was a marketing show, JLD and I spent little to no time talking marketing. Instead we dove into what it takes to create the life you truly want to live. 

John shares insights from talking to today's brightest entrepreneurs, and wisdom from his personal experience of growing a seven figure business based around podcasting! 

In this episode you'll learn: