Haystacks & Hell
Download on the App Store

Haystacks & Hell episodes

  • S3:E3 - More Adventist Music Drama

    Support the Show • This re-upload of Abby and Ami's original show SDAP dives into the complex and often contradictory relationship between music and the Seventh-day Adventist faith. Abby, Ami, Alex, and friends talk about their experiences with church music, worldly music, hypocrisy, destroying CDs, and just plain weirdness.

    00:00 Story Previews 
    00:27 Haystacks and Hell Intro 
    00:44 Episode Intro 
    01:33 Abby, Ami, and Alex on Music 
    07:17 Adventist Attitudes on Music 
    15:15 "Christian Rock" 
    19:56 Church vs. Academy 
    28:06 Destroying CDs 
    30:16 Music Taste and Hypocrisy 
    46:43 Dorms and Music Contraband 
    53:19 Guest Stories 
    58:50 Outro

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook • r/exAdventist 
    — 
    Credits: Abby and Ami, creators of the Seventh-day Atheist Podcast (https://hell.bio/sdap) • Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    1 hr
  • S3:E2 - The Devil's Tunes: SDA Views on Music

    Support the Show • Did you ever get scolded for the music you played in church? We're diving into traditional Seventh-day Adventist attitudes toward music and talking about my own personal experience with music while growing up in the church. We'll also cover historical Protestant views on organs, early Adventist resistance to musical instruments, and the silly debate around Christian Contemporary Music.
    -Santiago

    Sources:
    SDAs didn't use instruments for first 3 decades
    First documented use of an organ in 1877
    E.J. Waggoner "Solo singing has no rightful place..."
    Ira Sankey hymns called the "devil's tunes"
    Alma Blackmon quote re: White elitist professors
    Who is Heinrich Schenker and why should you care?
    Music Theory and the White Racial Frame
    Music Theory and White Supremacy
    Jacob Aranza Interview
    Rock Is Dead, Thank God
    IFPI 2023 Global Music Report
    Spotify Top Trends of 2023
    Who killed the CCM industry?

    SDA propaganda given to me:
    10 SHOCKING "FACTS" (BS) About CCM
    Inside Rock Music by Vance Ferrell
    Ted Wilson Facebook Post
    Seventh-day Adventist Philosophy of Music

    Recommended reading:
    The Devil’s Music - How Christians Inspired, Condemned, and Embraced Rock ’n’ Roll

    00:00 Intro
    00:16 My Background with Music
    06:28 Local Cultures Define Worship Styles
    07:47 Protestants Hated the Organ?
    10:21 Early Adventists Didn't Use Instruments
    15:18 Racist Attitudes
    17:58 Music Theory in the US
    19:31 Rock and CCM
    21:17 Anti-CCM SDA YouTuber
    24:50 Inside Rock Music
    28:02 Jacob Aranza, Satanic Panic Provocateur
    34:18 Recap and Outro

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook • r/exAdventist 
    —
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    37 min
  • S3:E1 - The Next Four Years

    Support the Show • Santiago discusses the current political climate, especially the continued rise of Christian Nationalism in the United States, while reflecting on his personal journey from right-wing authoritarian beliefs to greater empathy and understanding. Listeners are encouraged to stay informed, participate in local elections, maintain hope for justice and positive change.
     

    Resources / Topics Mentioned:

    Reddit Post - "My dad woke my fears" 
    Blog Post - Trump in office Ten Days: the Seventh-day Adventist Church wrote "Keep your mouth shut" 
    Book - Armageddon by Bart Ehrman 
    Video - Data Over Dogma Interview with Bart Ehrman 
    Video - Skeptic.com Interview with Bart Ehrman 
    Podcast - Sunday School Dropouts 
    PDF - Ben Carson's Project 2025 Contribution 
    Video - Don't Believe Him - Ezra Klein

    Independent Media Suggestions:

    DemocracyNow.org / YouTube 
    Colonial Outcasts Podcast 
    Drop Site News 
    Breaking Points 
    Legal Eagle - WTF is DOGE? 
    Last Week Tonight 
    Adam Conover 
    More Perfect Union

    00:00 Intro and Season 3 Kickoff
    01:07 Political Climate and Deconstruction
    03:48 Personal Journey and Reflections
    06:11 Anxiety and End Times
    11:14 Christian Nationalism
    26:38 Encouragement and Resources
     

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook 
    — 
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    32 min
  • S2:E15 - From Faith & Fear to Freedom: Dee - Pt. 2

    Support the Show • Part 2 of Santiago's interview with Dee. We discussed his questioning of Adventism and Christianity in general, Satanic Panic, his evolving perspectives on religion, and having empathy for believers. We also talked about Dee's move to Sweden, his childhood connection to Dr. Ben Carson, and how the Ben Carson on TV is not the same man Dee once knew.

    Resources / Topics Mentioned: 
    Song - I'm Afraid I'll Go to Heaven by Moon Walker 
    Book - Inside Rock Music (SDA anti-rock propaganda) 
    Artist - Erykah Badu 
    Video - Erykah Badu NPR Tiny Desk Concert 
    Article - Dr. Ben Carson 
    Video - Carson 1997 National Prayer Breakfast Speech @ 34:53 
    Video - Carson 2013 National Prayer Breakfast Speech @ 34:10

    00:00 Intro 
    01:05 Part 2 of Dee's Story 
    02:34 The Historical Jesus 
    04:42 Personal Tragedy and Realizations 
    07:34 Why Do People Leave? 
    13:47 Empathy for Believers 
    21:41 Segregated Conferences 
    26:17 Sweden, Racism, and CRT 
    32:58 Music and Satanic Panic 
    44:00 Dr. Ben Carson 
    49:39 Moving to Sweden 
    54:02 Ethics and Adventism 
    1:05:37 Closing Thoughts
     

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook 
    — 
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    1 hr 12 min
  • S2:E14 - From Faith & Fear to Freedom: Dee - Pt. 1

    Support the Show • Part 1 of Santiago's interview with Dee, a fourth-generation Seventh-day Adventist, about his SDA background, early baptism, education, and what led him out of the church. In our wide-ranging conversation, we discussed racial issues in Adventist schools, the Civil Rights Movement, and more.

    Resources / Topics Mentioned: 

    Video - We Are the World 
    Topic - Public Enemy 
    Film - Malcolm X (1992) 
    Topic - Assassination of MLK Jr. 
    Topic - Poor People's Campaign 
    Topic - The 15 Year Battle for MLK Jr Day 
    Video - MLK: "A riot is the language of the unheard" 
    Topic - White Americans Celebrated MLK's Death 
    Topic - Ronald Reagan's wartime lies
     

    00:00 Intro
    00:17 Meet Dee: 4th Gen Adventist
    02:49 Early Memories & Fearing Ellen White
    04:01 Questioning Church Teachings
    09:02 A Life-Changing Tragedy
    11:04 Living with Fear & Moving to Huntsville
    19:01 Baptism and Religious Pressure
    22:26 Purity Culture & Mixed Messages
    28:51 Weird "Health Message" Fads
    31:29 Racial Issues in Adventist Schools
    38:11 Civil Rights, Division, MLK
    43:30 Deconstructing Beliefs
    47:02 How Othering Manipulates Us
    53:07 The New Generation
    55:29 Trickle Down Greedonomics
    1:00:42 Dee's Adventist Education
    1:07:16 Goodbye Oakwood, Hello Adulthood
    1:11:26 Outro

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    —
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook 
    — 
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    1 hr 13 min
  • S2:E13 - Rosei Quartz: Pastor's Kid turned Content Creator - Pt. 2

    Support the Show • Part 2 of Santiago's interview with Rosei Quartz, a former Seventh-day Adventist pastor's kid, content creator, and Twitch streamer. In this episode, we cover more of Rosei's deconstruction, finding contentment and a new outlook on life, complementarianism, consent, mental health, becoming a content creator, and more.

    Resources / Topics Mentioned: 
    Links - Rosei Quartz's Links 
    Podcast - Rosei Quartz's Podcast 
    Topic - Complementarianism 
    Topic - Attachment Styles 
    Topic - Bill Gothard's "Umbrella of Protection" 
    Reddit - ex-SDA comments on Gothard's Umbrella 
    Topic - The FRIES Model of Consent 
    Book - #ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How to Find Healing 
    Topic - Youth Wilderness / Troubled Teen Industry 
    Topic - SWERF Definition 
    Topic - BITE Model of Authoritarian Control 
    Topic - Adventist GC "Human Sexuality Task Force" 
    Podcast - S1B2 - Human Sexuality Task Force 
    Topic - Weaponized Incompetence 
    Podcast - The Dream (Examining MLMs)

    00:00 Intro
    00:17 Rosei's Deconstruction
    05:16 Contentment and New Worldview
    13:47 Complementarianism Hurts Everyone
    20:36 Purity Culture & Consent
    22:10 Journey into Online SW
    28:10 Work is Work
    32:27 Online SW vs. Traditional Work
    36:33 SWERFs vs. Autonomy
    45:04 Adventist Leadership
    52:52 Advice for Leaving the Church
    55:20 Where to Find Rosei 
    57:22 Outro

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook 
    — 
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    59 min
  • S2:E12 - Rosei Quartz: Pastor's Kid turned Content Creator - Pt. 1

    Support the Show • Santiago interviews Rosei Quartz, a former Seventh-day Adventist pastor's kid, content creator, and Twitch streamer. Rosei shares her Adventist upbringing, the pressures of parasocial relationships, and the high expectations placed upon her as a pastor’s kid. We cover her journey out of Adventism and how studying psychology played a big role.

    Resources / Topics Mentioned: 
    Links - Rosei Quartz's Links 
    Podcast - Rosei Quartz's Podcast
    Podcast - Armchair Expert - Cults (Rosei starts at 50:08)
    Topic - Complementarianism
    Book - #ChurchToo: How Purity Culture Upholds Abuse and How to Find Healing
    Topic - LARPing
    Topic - Startle Response
    Topic - Cry Nights
    Topic - Hypervigilance & Hyperawareness
    Topic - Terror Management Theory
    Topic - Thought-terminating cliché
    Podcast - H&H S1:E4 - When Did You Learn About...
    Playlist - Debunking Young Earth Creationism

    00:00 Intro
    00:13 Meet Rosei Quartz
    01:17 SDA Family History & Early Memories
    04:31 Sabbath Mornings
    07:33 Pastor's Kid Pressures
    17:48 Spiritual Manipulation & Content Creation
    26:49 Health Message & Ellen White
    30:28 "Spiritual Warfare" & Psychology
    38:28 Terror Management Theory
    41:55 Why Rosei Left Adventism
    43:35 Harmful Beliefs & Pseudoscience
    55:12 Crossing Ethical Boundaries
    57:46 Ethics & Behavior Modification
    1:00:37 High Demand Religion & Mental Health
    1:05:11 Personal Growth Outside the Church
    1:14:14 Outro

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook 
    — 
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    1 hr 15 min
  • S2:E11 - Future of the Show + Listener Stories

    Support the Show • Santiago shares some personal news, updates on the future of the show, and listener stories.

    Resources / Topics Mentioned:

    Slate: Why Do We Give Our Pets Death With Dignity but Not Ourselves? 
    S1:E2 - Do You Believe in an Afterlife?
    More Listener Stories 
    Podcast Resources 
    Book Resources

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook 
    — 
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    46 min
  • S2:E10 - From Youth Rusher to Ex-Adventist - Pt. 2

    Support the Show • Part 2 of Santiago's interview with Andres Pichinte (They/Them), a Gen Z ex-Adventist who went from fundamentalist Adventism and going door to door for two summers with Youth Rush, to exploring esotericism and now Orthodox Christianity. We discussed the sales tactics used by Youth Rush, the books they sold and beliefs they encountered, misadventures in door-to-door evangelism, and more.
     

    Resources / Topics Mentioned:

    Andres' Website & Bio 
    Youth Rush Article - Spectrum Magazine

    00:00 - Haystacks & Hell Intro
    00:34 - Youth Rush Canvassing Sales Tactics
    06:49 - Books and Beliefs
    20:58 - Misadventures in Door-to-Door Evangelism
    25:39 - From Fast Food to Film School
    32:04 - Embracing Diversity and Finding Acceptance
    37:28 - Exploring Orthodoxy
    46:06 - Closing Thoughts
    48:12 - Haystacks & Hell Outro

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    —
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook
    —
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    49 min
  • S2:E9 - From Youth Rusher to Ex-Adventist - Pt. 1

    Support the Dunk Family • Support the Show 
    — 
    Santiago interviews Andres Pichinte (They/Them), a Gen Z ex-Adventist who went from fundamentalist Adventism and going door to door for Youth Rush (for two summers), to exploring esotericism and now Orthodox Christianity. We talk about growing up Adventist, being surrounded by conspiracy theories, and moments that made them question their Adventist faith.

    Resources / Topics Mentioned: 
    Andres' Website & Bio 
    The Hairbrush Song - Silly Songs with Larry 
    His Cheeseburger - Love Songs with Mr. Lunt 
    Youth Rush Article - Spectrum Magazine

    Full Transcripts, resources and more: hell.bio/notes 
    — 
    Have a story to share? Write to us, send a DM or voice message on Instagram, or leave a voicemail at (301) 750-8648‬. We take your privacy seriously: Privacy Policy 
    — 
    Twitter • TikTok • Instagram • YouTube • Facebook 
    — 
    Credits: Music: Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) • Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

    1 hr 5 min

About Haystacks & Hell

From the publisher's feed

Stories about growing up Seventh-day Adventist, leaving faith behind, and building new, fulfilling lives.

More shows like Haystacks & Hell

The Scathing Atheist by Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

The Scathing Atheist

3,205 Listeners

Casefile True Crime by Casefile Presents

Casefile True Crime

37,610 Listeners

Snapped: Women Who Murder by Oxygen

Snapped: Women Who Murder

5,248 Listeners

Crime Junkie by Audiochuck

Crime Junkie

369,618 Listeners

Dateline NBC by NBC News

Dateline NBC

46,901 Listeners

The Binge Cases: Doctor Billions by Sony Music Entertainment

The Binge Cases: Doctor Billions

4,370 Listeners

Sounds Like A Cult by Studio71

Sounds Like A Cult

4,147 Listeners

True Crime with Kendall Rae by Mile Higher Media & Audioboom Studios

True Crime with Kendall Rae

6,173 Listeners

MrBallen’s Medical Mysteries by Audible | Ballen Studios

MrBallen’s Medical Mysteries

2,786 Listeners

Good Hang with Amy Poehler by The Ringer

Good Hang with Amy Poehler

12,486 Listeners