Hello and welcome to Headline Zeroes. Oh wait a minute someone vandalized our podcast name! Let’s get those pranksters back! Grab your toilet paper and plastic forks as we discuss Satyrs, sign pranks, and America’s favorite comedian.

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Ah, to be young again. To play on the old wooden playground without getting weird looks from parents. To speak into those weird tube walkie talkie things, and tell your friends about our own Kid’s Kingdoms, goat experiences, and clearing the spam folder. What I would give to be young again.

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It’s been a long year for the whole planet, and it's time for the earth to get a little spa time. Cucumbers over the eyes, soft music playing, and a bath bomb that could end us all! To get the most relaxation out of this episode make sure you listen to us talk about our shampoo picks, L'oreal for kids, and rat kings.

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Woah woah woah mister, I see you’re trying to ride this podcast but I can tell you’re 2 inches too short. Aw jeez stop crying, it’s not my rule. Okay fine you can ride the podcast as long as your parents are okay with you hearing about Tom Sawyer-ing young children, drug distribution techniques, and hometown carnivals.

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You leave your umbrella at a bus station, a dog knocks it over, it falls in a puddle, it splashes on a man’s crotch and makes it look like he peed himself, then finally he decide to make himself feel better by listening to his favorite podcast where they talk about soup preferences, agent Amelia Bedelia, and what a butt looks like.

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Nuo yeer, nuo us, nuo heru! Its ill ibuout veter und vhet yuou cuon puoll ouout ouff it zees veek is ve-a deescuoss Swedish Chef, jacuzzi suits, und buying books

Article: Girl, 8, pulls a 1,500-year-old sword from a lake in Sweden

Music by Carl Sorenson

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Rev up those fryers because I am ready to podcast! We’re cooking up an extra special episode for you this week. Order up and listen to us discuss Bar Rescue, Capri Sun commercials, and a shit load of rats.

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It's the most wonderful time of the year! The end….the end of the year is the best because this year has been a fiery hellhole from which none of us can escape. Anyway, in celebration of this year finally ending we cooked up something special for you: a regular episode! It’s chock-full of tidbits you’ll love like vampire santa, Wisconsin food oddities, and parliament relics.

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So this ep is late, huh? Sorry about that! I wont waste any of your time writing a long description about the episode where we have some laughs and list some stuff we talked about. That would be pretty rude I think. Honestly, the audacity to let the episode come out late and then have this GIANT wall of text that you just have to read because it obviously is captivating. And then you both love and hate me for making you read it; for providing this sumptuous morsel of text. Anyway I wouldn't dream of doing that so go on and listen to the episode you silly Billy!

Article: Unicorn Riding Scooter In Fatal Crash

Music by Carl Sorenson

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Can I offer you an egg in this trying time? It's a brined egg, I hope that's okay. If you don't want it I’ll eat it. It's two great tastes that taste great together or something. Oh you’re gonna eat it? Well great, while you eat I’ll tell you all about molasses tragedies, The Fly, and food textures.

Be sure to head to Manscaped.com and use our special Promo code HEROES20 for 20% off and free shipping!

Proudly a member of the PodFix Network. You can find them at podfixnetwork.com.