For the longest time I have attempted to give to myself the inner child healing I so often give to others.  However each time in doing so I wasn't able to connect to my inner child in the way I have helped others connect with theirs.  

In the recent episodes you have seen me go through various challenges and stages of healing.  In this monologue I share how I feel I have put the pieces together for my own healing.  It now makes sense now what my obsessive anxiety is towards the work I do for helping others and the sleep problems I got coached on in episode 17.  

Now in knowing where the source of my pain is, I am now able to nurture that specific wound for my inner child.  This an example to us all of how our childhood pain is so deeply embedded in our subconscious that we have no awareness of it.  

Lets listen on how I pick up the missing pieces of my own childhood healing.  

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What if you lost everything you ever cherished? What if you were never able to attain any of your goals or dreams? The loss I am talking about is the loss of everything you cherish and want to attain outside of yourself. If you were to lose all that, than all you would have left is you. As you listen to this podcast I want you to think if you were to lose everything who is your true self that would reveal itself? 

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Do you feel overwhelmed by the chatter within your mind?  Do you want to be rid of it so much you just push it away as hard as you can?  We all have this seemingly mindless chatter that takes control of the driver seat of our emotional lives.  

While coaching Michael Hsu, Cynthia Loy Darst displays her most passionate work, The Inside Team.  Through this session she shows us all how to turn toward these seemingly uncontrollable voices, so we can see what they are really saying in order to regain control of our lives.  

To learn more about The Inside Team, watch her Tedx talk, Safe Inside Yourself.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXSORojaxBc

We've all had an upbringing that has grealty shaped who we are and what life expereinces we have.  The problem is that we only feel the pain of our past wounds without having any idea where it comes from.  I personally suffer from anxiety of trying to feel safe and using things like work productivity and accomplishments to feel this temporary and superficial feeilng of safety.  In the next episdoe, I will be the client and you will see what is the underlying cause to my need to feel safe and the anxiety caused by it.  

As you listen, what I ask of you is to dig deep and think about the underlyng roots to your negative emotions and feelings.  Our emotions are only the tip of the icerberg and to be free of them we must see roots of the problem within the body of the iceberg underneath the water.  

What you will often see as the root of the problem is how we stab ourselves with our past wounds and hurt.  How we recreate the pain of our past.  

What I offer here on Heal From the Ground Up truly comes from an intimate journey of mine.  It's a journey and story that I have been witholding from you all because to be honest I wasn't honoring my own story and the true value I had to offer.  I have created a platform for so many coaches but I forgot to use my platform to tell my own story.  And this podcast is about telling you that story so you can see how Heal From the Ground Up is intimately tied to my life's lessons.  

The interesting thing is that today's podcast is my first monologue.  And it was completely unscripted.  This is something that up until recently, I thought I was completely incapable of.  But based off the life changing conversation with my friend Paul Colaianni from the Overwhelmed Brain podcast in episode 14, I learned I was previously mistakenly trying to attain value, worth and greatness through my visions in life.  What I know now is that I no longer need to do that because that greatness is arleady within myself and can never be taken away.  This gives me the freedom to relax, play and live life in the moment.  

If you have been following my podcast, I believe in this monologue you will witness my blossoming transformation.  The direction of my podcast and my life is going to go to another level that I could not have imagined before.  I now can enjoy the ride and I invite you to join me.  You are not going to regret it.  

Warmly, 

Michael

[email protected]

www.healfromthegroundup.com 

Who are you at your core?  Who are you without your goals, dreams and to-do list?  Because who you are at the core does not change based on how well you complete your goals and dreams.  It is your intrinsic worth that is untouchable.  It is the indestructible beauty that you were born with.  This is the biggest lesson Ilearned in this conversation with my friend Paul Colaianni from the Overwhelmed Brain podcast.  This conversation was coincidentally recorded and what originally was a conversation about podcasting became a coaching session about my self-limiting beliefs that have me tense up when I hit the record button.  I had this fear of making mistakes because I felt my sense of worthiness was attached to the success of my goals, dreams and visions.  What my friend Paul was able to uncover was my intrinsic worth which is the greatest value I have to offer to others and to myself.  Listen to this podcast as this conversation was life changing for me and I know it will be life changing for you as well.  

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www.healfromthegroundup.com 

For more information on Paul Coaianni and his podcast The Overwhelmed Brain podcast go to:  

http://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/

The caller Mave states that she lacks confidence and finds herself very vulnerable to taking on others' opinions of her. She can spend a whole day ruminating about another's opinion of her. As a child, she learned to not trust herself. We went through a process of discovering the experiences that resulted in not trusting herself, and how to start to love herself – instead of giving authority to others to define her worth and make her feel safe. I helped her to establish a personal connection with a spiritual source of love and truth to help her in her healing. I take Mave through the Six Step Inner Bonding process and by the end of the session, she feels much more confident.

For more information on Margaret Paul go to http://margaretpaul.com/

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Michael Hsu, the caller I will be coaching, was working with the dynamic of needing to attain perfection before launching a new project.  The focus was primarily on the outcome and “getting it right.”  This is a classic struggle and although we believe that “getting it right” makes a better product, it often has the detrimental effect.  The authenticity and flow of the project suffers or worse yet, the project never even sees the light of day.  Michaels sense of himself as a man had become attached to the outcomes of his endeavors.  This is a common trap that the majority of men fall into.Typically our attention on outcome rather than process is tied to our sense of worthiness.  We believe that our worthiness is tied to the success or failure of how we perform in executing an idea or project.Michael and I discovered that bringing a sense of carefree playfulness to his work would not only create a better and more creative and flexible outcome, but would also increase the joy that Michael could experience while in process.

In a period of basking in being in love, Michael, the caller notices discomfort that won't let him relax: Is it okay to be happy? Is it safe not to work hard all the time? Does he need to reach for a problem when there isn't one handy? Together, we look at the religion of productivity and the possibility of navigating instead by joy. I walk Michael through a two-part process of minding the pain body and tending the mind—applicable to anything anyone goes through. I also offer a formula for change: set an intention for the new way, then catch yourself in the old way.   

Being abandoned is an illusory pain.  It is illusory because the pain is so severe that in order to protect our sense of worthiness we take it out our consciousness and embed deep into our subconscious. We still feel the pain of abandonment but we do not know what this feeling is and may project it onto other people who are not responsible for it.

The caller here, Gina, feels like she cannot trust her partner because in her childhood she witnessed her single father’s problem of dating multiple women at the same time. Though her father has never abandoned her, it is the pain of the abandonment that she feels and projects onto him.

We all are guilty of abandoning ourselves in some way. I have personally abandoned myself when I become so fixated on outcomes of work that I lose the sense of joy and purpose of the work I love and most importantly I forget to take care of myself. Please listen to this powerful podcast and find out what is the true source of Gina’s abandonment, while beginning to explore your own source of abandonment as well.