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WARNING: This episode contains natural bird songs, twigs breaking & leaves crushing underfoot, the occasional breathlessnes and the distant sound of kids playing in a park 😊 

Love Wisely is starting again soon! If you have been waiting for your chance to join me for the next 3-month journey to rewrite you Love Template, sign up below!. 

What does it really mean for someone to be available for a relationship?

In this walking episode, I explore one of the most painful forms of emotional unavailability: becoming attached to someone who is still entangled with another woman.

Perhaps he says the marriage is over.

Perhaps they still live together “for the children.”

Perhaps he promises that once the separation, divorce or living arrangements are resolved, the two of you can finally have a proper relationship.

Meanwhile, you are left waiting, hoping and accepting small pieces of connection from someone who is not genuinely free to build a life with you.

In this episode, I discuss:

• The difference between being separated and being truly available
• How promises about the future can keep you emotionally invested
• Why intermittent attention and small acts of care can feel so powerful
• The role of abandonment and emotional deprivation schemas
• Why an unavailable person can sometimes feel safer than a real relationship
• How implicit recognition draws us towards familiar emotional dynamics
• Why being given crumbs can slowly erode your self-worth
• The importance of choosing someone who is emotionally and practically free

I also share a personal experience of becoming emotionally attached to a married and unavailable man, and what that experience helped me understand about my own schemas.

If you are waiting for someone’s circumstances to change before they can fully choose you, this episode is an invitation to step back and look honestly at what is being offered to you now.

You deserve more than promises, fragments of attention and a place at the edge of someone else’s life.

Love Wisely

If you have a recurring pattern of becoming attached to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, my Love Wisely group coaching experience begins in September.

Inside the program, I guide a small group of women through the process of understanding and intentionally rewriting the unconscious Love Template that has shaped their relationship choices.

Join the Love Wisely priority list through the link in the show notes.

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

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Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

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Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

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Many women tell me they know what an unhealthy relationship feels like but they're much less certain about what a healthy one should feel like.

In this episode, I walk you through nine signs that you're building a healthy, emotionally available relationship during the early stages of dating.

Rather than focusing on red flags, we explore the aspects that signal emotional safety, healthy attraction and genuine compatibility.

In this episode you'll learn:

• What healthy attraction actually feels like
• Why uncertainty is normal in the early stages of dating
• The importance of relationships developing gradually
• Why emotional consistency matters
• How to recognise emotional safety
• When physical intimacy is most helpful for building a healthy relationship
• Why staying true to yourself is essential
• The role of autonomy, authenticity and emotional availability
• Why healthy love often feels different from schema-driven chemistry

If you've ever wondered whether a relationship is moving in a healthy direction, this episode will help you better understand what to look for and what healthy love actually feels like.

Love Wisely Group Coaching – my flagship group coaching experience for women ready to break long-standing relationship patterns and create healthier, more secure relationships.

Join the Priority List - we start again in September!!

https://www.drgemmagladstone.com/LoveWisely_Waitlst

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🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message

Situationships aren't new, but today they have a name.

They're often marked by uncertainty, mixed messages, hope, and one person wanting much more than the other.

In this episode, I explore five common signs that you're caught in a situationship that's unlikely to become the relationship you're hoping for.

More importantly, we look at the psychology behind why so many intelligent women find themselves staying in these painful, ambiguous dynamics.

In this episode you'll learn:

• What defines a situationship
• Five signs your situationship is going nowhere
• Why uncertainty can become so emotionally consuming
• How situationships slowly undermine self-worth and confidence
• The role of abandonment, emotional deprivation and other schemas in keeping women stuck
• Why understanding your relationship patterns is the first step towards changing them

If you've ever wondered whether you're holding on to hope rather than evidence, this episode is for you.

Free Masterclass

Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating
Discover the 5 hidden Love Traps that keep women stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns.

Register via the link in the show notes.

Work With Me

Love Wisely Foundations – my self-paced online program.

Love Wisely – my flagship group coaching experience, designed to help women intentionally rewrite their Love Template and break long-standing relationship patterns.

For more information, visit:

www.drgemmagladstone.com

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message

Have you ever wondered why relationships can feel so emotionally intense?

Why you find it difficult to leave someone, even when you know they're not right for you?

Or why emotionally unavailable partners seem to become a recurring pattern?

In this episode, I explore one of the most important psychological patterns I see in my work with women - the abandonment schema (or abandonment wound).

Drawing on nearly 30 years of experience in psychology and schema therapy, I explain how early experiences of inconsistency, loss, emotional absence or disrupted attachment can quietly shape our expectations of love, influence who feels familiar, and make it much harder to walk away from relationships that aren't meeting our needs.

You'll learn:

• What an abandonment schema actually is
• How it develops during childhood
• Why it often shows up most strongly in romantic relationships
• How it influences attraction and partner selection
• Why emotionally unavailable relationships can feel strangely familiar
• The link between abandonment and overriding red flags
• Why this schema can keep you hoping, waiting and staying far longer than is healthy
• How understanding your abandonment pattern can become the first step towards creating healthier, more secure relationships

If you've ever found yourself repeatedly attracted to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, or you've wondered why leaving unhealthy relationships feels so incredibly difficult, this episode will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface.

Free Masterclass

Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating
Discover the 5 hidden love traps that keep women stuck in painful relationship patterns.

Love Wisely Group Coaching
My flagship coaching program, offered only twice each year, where we work together over three months to intentionally rewrite your Love Template and create healthier relationship patterns.

Private Coaching
For women wanting personalised support to understand and change long-standing relationship patterns.

Connect

Website:
www.drgemmagladstone.com

Instagram:
@drgemmagladstone

If you enjoyed this episode, I'd really appreciate it if you subscribed, left a review, or shared it with someone who may need to hear it.

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message

If you're serious about finding an emotionally available partner, there are some important shifts that can dramatically improve your chances of creating a healthy relationship.

In this episode, I break down the practical dating advice I most often share with my coaching clients. Women who are tired of repeating painful relationship patterns and want to approach dating with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust.

One of the biggest misconceptions about dating is that women who end up in unhealthy relationships simply fail to see the warning signs.

In my experience, that's rarely true.

Most women notice far more than they give themselves credit for.

The challenge is often not spotting the red flags—it's understanding the deeper patterns that make it difficult to trust yourself and act on what you already know.

If you're ready to approach dating differently and want to understand the hidden psychological forces that influence attraction and decision-making, this episode is for you.

Free Live Masterclass

Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating (Even When They Know Better)

Discover the 5 hidden love traps that keep women stuck in painful relationship patterns and learn how to make wiser, more self-honouring decisions in dating.

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message

Have you ever left a date feeling completely conflicted?  Part of you feels excited.

Part of you feels anxious.  Part of you wants to see them again.

And part of you feels relieved it's over.

In this episode, I explore why dating can feel so confusing and how different parts of ourselves can interpret the exact same situation in very different ways.

Drawing on concepts from Schema Therapy, I introduce three key voices that often show up when we're dating. 

You'll learn how old wounds such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, defectiveness and people-pleasing patterns can quietly influence attraction, decision-making and relationship choices.

I also explore common dating coping modes including

Most importantly, we'll look at how to strengthen the Wise Self - the part of you that can step back, gather information, spot red flags, honour boundaries and make healthier relationship decisions.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why dating can feel so confusing at times
• How vulnerable parts of us influence attraction
• The role of coping modes in dating and relationships
• Why familiarity can be mistaken for compatibility
• How schema chemistry can override good judgement
• The questions your Wise Self needs to be asking
• How to recognise who is currently "holding the microphone"
• Why healthy dating involves learning to date from wisdom rather than from your wound

Resources Mentioned:

Love Wisely Foundations
Love Wisely Group Coaching Program
Dating Profile Check-Up
1:1 Coaching with Dr Gemma Gladstone

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

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In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the early warning signs of controlling, narcissistic and potentially coercive relationship dynamics - particularly the subtle behaviours that many women dismiss, minimise or explain away in the beginning.

This episode is not about blame. It is about prevention, awareness and learning to trust yourself earlier.

Gemma breaks down:

•  why some controlling behaviours can initially look like care or protection 
•  how love bombing and boundary crossing often work together 
•  the subtle ways controlling people gradually erode your autonomy 
•  why narcissistic and coercively controlling individuals struggle to tolerate your individuality and separateness 
•  how early manipulation often appears through “small” interactions 
•  why boundary creeping, guilt, criticism and emotional pressure matter 
•  the connection between control, entitlement and coercive dynamics 
•  why many women ignore or override their early instincts 
•  the importance of recognising what gets in the way of leaving early 
•  how schemas such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, subjugation and self-sacrifice can keep women stuck in unhealthy dynamics 

Gemma also discusses:

•  emotional manipulation 
•  intrusive behaviour disguised as care 
•  isolation tactics 
•  shame sensitivity and rage reactions 
•  dependency-building behaviours 
•  subtle control around appearance, friendships and daily choices 
•  the psychological function of coercive control 

Most importantly, this episode highlights why early recognition matters.

The sooner unhealthy dynamics are recognised, the easier it becomes to protect your sense of self, your wellbeing and your future.

In this episode:

•  What coercive control actually is 
•  Why control often begins subtly 
•  The difference between care and control 
•  Early signs of dangerous relationship dynamics 
•  Boundary crossing and “boundary creep” 
•  Why love bombing can feel confusing 
•  How controlling partners gradually isolate women 
•  Why healthy partners tolerate difference and autonomy 
•  How schemas can interfere with self-protection 
•  Why taking relationships slowly matters

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message

EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits

Why do some people constantly put others first, struggle to say no, worry excessively about upsetting people, or feel guilty for prioritising themselves?

In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the deeper psychology behind people pleasing through a schema therapy lens.

This is not simply about being “too nice.” People pleasing is often a learned survival strategy rooted in early relational experiences, attachment dynamics, fear, guilt, conditional acceptance and coping styles developed in childhood.

Gemma unpacks:

•  What people pleasing actually is 
•  Why it develops 
•  The difference between self-sacrifice, subjugation and approval-seeking 
•  Why guilt and fear often drive people pleasing behaviours 
•  How early family dynamics shape self-suppression 
•  Why some women struggle to set boundaries or speak up in relationships 
•  The connection between people pleasing and emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners 
•  How schemas influence dating, relationships and self-trust 
•  Why people pleasing is often linked to survival, safety and connection 
•  Small practical steps to begin changing these patterns 

This episode also explores:

•  Self-sacrifice schema 
•  Subjugation schema 
•  Approval-seeking schema 
•  Abandonment dynamics 
•  Conditional parenting 
•  Coping modes and “dating personas” 
•  The importance of reconnecting with your own needs, preferences and authenticity 

If you often:

•  Put other people’s needs ahead of your own 
•  Feel guilty saying no 
•  Worry excessively about upsetting others 
•  Need reassurance before making decisions 
•  Stay quiet to avoid conflict 
•  Feel anxious expressing yourself 
•  Struggle with boundaries in dating or relationships 

…this episode will likely resonate deeply.

Mentioned in this episode

Gemma also shares details about her upcoming self-study program:
Love Wisely Foundations (coming soon!) - a schema-informed relationship program designed to help women understand and rewrite unhealthy relationship patterns and “love template.”

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message

Dating apps can feel like a bit of a horror show at times.

But underneath the frustration, the confusion and the endless swiping… there’s something much deeper going on.

In this episode, I explore how your schemas - particularly abandonment, defectiveness, emotional deprivation and people-pleasing patterns - can shape:

•  Who you feel drawn to 
•  What you tolerate 
•  And why you might ignore your own instincts 

I also walk you through a more grounded, intentional way to approach dating apps - not as “dating platforms,” but simply as introduction tools.

Because real dating doesn’t happen on the app.
 It happens in real life.

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message

This episode is a special one - I’m sharing the audio from a recent live masterclass where I walk you through the deeper psychological patterns that drive attraction, and why insight alone often isn’t enough to change them.

If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable, avoidant, or self-absorbed partners - even when you know better - this episode will help you understand why.

I explore what’s happening beneath the surface, and what it actually takes to begin shifting these patterns from the inside out. 

What you’ll learn

•  Why high chemistry is not always a sign of compatibility 
•  The “love paradox” - wanting one thing, but being pulled toward something very different 
•  How your early schemas (core emotional patterns) shape who you’re drawn to 
•  What schema chemistry is and why attraction can feel so compelling - even when it’s not right for you 
•  The role of people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, and loss of voice in dating 
•  Why “just date more” or “choose better” doesn’t solve the problem 
•  The key stages involved in breaking long-standing relationship patterns 
•  How to begin rewriting your “love template” so you can move toward emotionally available partners 

This episode is for you if…

•  You keep finding yourself in similar relationship dynamics 
•  You’ve dated emotionally unavailable or avoidant men 
•  You struggle to trust yourself in dating 
•  You tend to over-give, over-accommodate, or lose yourself in relationships 
•  You’re ready to understand why this keeps happening - and start doing things differently 

These patterns are not random - they are shaped by deeper, often unconscious processes. And once you understand them, you can begin to shift them.

Want to go deeper?

If this episode resonates, I also share more about my Love Wisely group coaching program inside this training.

It’s a 12-week experience designed to help you:

•  Understand your patterns clearly 
•  Work with your schemas 
•  Build self-trust 
•  And begin relating in a way that supports the kind of relationship you actually want 

Support the show

🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List - we start September!

✅Dating App Profile CHECK-UP

🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY

Connect with Me

 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching

🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here