*Trigger Warning* Narcissist abuse, physical violence, sexual violence, and panic attacks, being triggered.

On this episode I talk about what it’s like to encounter a narcissist and their new supply based on real-life experience. I also about back sliding and growth, and Rebecca Humphries’s book “Why Did You Stay.” As well as what the second half of Behavioral Influence, from Dr. Hassan’s B.I.T.E. Model, looked like in my narcissistic relationships.

Why Did You Stay: A Memoir About Self Worth by Rebecca Humphries

The Influence Continuum with Dr. Steven Hassan https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-influence-continuum-with-dr-steven-hassan/id1603773245

The B.I.T.E. Model by Dr. Hassan https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/

*Trigger Warning* Disordered eating, disordered eating recovery, SA, substance abuse; physical, emotional, mental and financial abuse.

I’m back y’all. Please forgive my scratchy voice, but I am here to talk about what Behavior Control looked like in my high control relationships working off of Dr. Steven Hassen’s B.I.T.E. Model.

Show Notes:

You can find more information on Dr. Steven Hassen’s B.I.T.E model here: https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

thehotline.org

womenslaw.org

*Trigger Warning* I feel like coercive control, domestic violence, and partner on partner crime is on every corner. Maybe it was already there, maybe we’re done turning a blind eye to it. This week I touch on big stories and new releases in our niche of the world. I also give a very general introduction to Dr. Steven Hassen and the B.I.T.E model, which is often used to identify high control groups, but over the next few episodes I am going to discuss how the B.I.T.E model looks in high control relationships based on my interactions with two different types of narcissists. So stay tuned.

Articles:

“Judge Sets $5 million bond for man accused of Chattanooga woman Jasmine Pace” Le Shawn Pagén, Ellen Gerst

“‘Gaslighting’ is Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year” Ella Feldman

Books:

Don’t Call it a Cult: The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM, Sarah Berman;

The Community: A Memoir N. Jamiyla Chisholm

Cults in out Midst, Dr. Janja Lalich and Margaret Thaler Singer;

Bounded Choice: The Believers and Charismatic Cults, Dr. Janja Lalich;

Escaping Utopia: Growing Up in a Cult, Getting Out, and Starting Over, Dr. Janja Lalich and Karla McLaren;

Take Back Your Life: Recovering From Cults and Abusive Relationships, Dr. Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias;

Combating Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best-Selling Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults, Dr. Steven Hassen;

Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs, Dr. Steven Hassen;

The Cult of Trump: A Leading Cult Expert Explains How the President Uses Mind Control, Dr. Stephen Hassen

Documentary: “Orgasm Inc.: The Story of OneTaste” (Netflix)

Docuseries:

Unveiled: Surviving La Luz Del Mundo (HBO)

The Lost Women of NXIVM (Discovery +)

Cults and Extreme Belief (Discovery +)

Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult (Starz)

The Vow (HBO)

Heaven’s Gate: The Cult of Cults (HBO)

Film: Gaslight (1944)

TV Shows:

People Magazine Investigates: Cults; Season 1, Episode 6: The Nuwaubian Nation of Moors (Discovery +)

Dangerous Persuasions, Season 2, Episode 6: “Revolution Ain’t a Tea Party” (Discovery +)

Podcasts:

IndoctriNation https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/indoctrination/id1373939526

Websites:

www.janjalalich.com

https://www.tbylr.com/

https://freedomofmind.com/

https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/

*Trigger Warning* Disordered eating recovery, as well as physical and psychological abuse.

I’ve been having trouble sleeping for the last two days. I analyze and laugh at my nightmare. Discuss how difficult it can be to function after trauma and all the everyday miracles I’ve encountered since I started looking for them.

You can find more information on Dr. Steven Hassen’s B.I.T.E model here: https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/

Solo Hiking Safety Tips for Women by Explore Chicks: https://explorerchick.com/journal/women-safely-hiking-alone-tips/

“Controlling Parents - 20 Signs and Why They Are Harmful” by Pamela Li https://www.parentingforbrain.com/controlling-parents/

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD

*Trigger Warning* Listener and BFF L asked “What was your daily life like with a narcissist?” Listen to me struggle for nearly 40 minutes to explain the pure chaos and confusion of daily life with a narcissist and completely miss the opportunity to reference Star Trek: Next Generation “Chain of Command, Part II” because OMG it’s such an excellent analogy for narcissistic abuse and gaslighting are like. I also briefly touch on how my beliefs both shaped and were weaponized during my relationship.

Star Trek: Next Generation

What the Bleep Do We Know (2004)

The Vow (HBO)

*Trigger Warning*

Inspired by Bessel Van der Kolk, MD’s famous book The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Bri discusses how her body and mind kept the score during and after her experiences with narcissistic abuse.

Show Notes:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

thehotline.org

womenslaw.org

sceniccityneuropathy.com

https://stellacenter.com

“A Toxic Relationship is Just a Cult of One” Amanda Montell

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism Amanda Montell

Birds of Prey (and the Fabulous Emancipation of Harley Quinn), Warner Bros/DC Films/Lucky Chap Entertainment/Clubhouse Pictures (2020)

Harley Quinn DC Universe/HBO (2020-present)

The Vow (HBO)

Season 1, Episode 1: The Science of Joy

Season 1, Episode 7: Blame and Responsibility

The Program: Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere an the Rise and Fall of NXIVM by Tony Natalie, Chet Hardin

Ketamine as treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder: a review by Felix Liriano, Candace Hatten, MD, and Thomas L Schwartz, MD

*Trigger Warning*

People don’t stay in abusive situations because they’re stupid, deficient, or inept. That’s a Myth, and a damaging one at that. Leaving an abusive situation is dangerous and there are a number of tactics an abuser uses in order to keep people locked into an abusive or coercive relationship.

Show Notes:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

thehotline.org

womenslaw.org

“Let Go of the Myth That Only Stupid Woman are Abused” Syke Presley (article)

“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” Taylor Swift (song)

The Vow (Docuseries on HBO)

Season 2, Episode 4 “The Breach”

Season 1, Episode 8 “The Wound”

Season 1, Episode 7 “Blame & Responsibility”