Yes — there are many people in this world you could be in a relationship with. There is no shortage of potential partners. But when you are struggling inside your relationship, when there is fear, insecurity, reactivity, shutting down, chasing, or any kind of trauma response, the idea that there's "someone better out there" doesn't empower you. It actually pulls you further away from yourself. It keeps you externally focused instead of internally connected.

For someone who is living inside anxiety, attachment wounds, people-pleasing, avoidance, perfectionism, or the pattern of running every time things get hard… the message "you deserve better, go find it" becomes another way to disconnect from yourself. It reinforces the belief that your healing lives outside of you. That someone else will come along and soothe everything you haven't yet learned how to hold within yourself.

And that is where this narrative becomes harmful.

Because it pushes people into the next relationship without ever stopping to understand:

• why they choose who they choose

• what part of them gets activated, frightened, or shut down

• what version of themselves takes over when things feel threatening

• what need in them keeps going unmet, and why

• what patterns they are replaying from their childhood or past

• what agreements or beliefs about love they are still living inside of

Without that awareness, leaving doesn't create clarity, it creates repetition.

If someone leaves without doing their inner work, they don't "find better." They find a new person to run the same patterns with.

They carry the same wound into the next connection. They carry the same fear into the next dynamic. They bring the same unspoken needs, the same unhealed parts, the same survival strategies — and eventually, those patterns show up again, no matter how different the new partner seems at first.

And because the beginning of a relationship feels exciting, hopeful, intoxicating… people mistake that dopamine rush for healing. They mistake the quiet of a new connection for safety. They mistake difference for evolution.

But when the high wears off, when the nervous system settles, the same wounds come forward. And the cycle repeats.

So when I say that "go find better" is harmful, this is what I mean: it seduces you into believing that your healing is waiting for you in someone else, instead of waiting for you in you. It distracts you from the work that actually changes your patterns. And it prevents you from looking at the version of yourself that keeps showing up in your relationships, over and over again.

You don't break the cycle by finding someone new. You break the cycle by coming home to yourself.

Learn More About Me and My Offerings at www.healwithalchemy.com

Book a free 30 minute connection call to learn more about Awakening Woman: A 12-Week Soul Return. A sacred 12-week journey for the woman who is ready to turn inward, meet herself with honesty, and remember the truth of who she is.

Release resentment in this transformative 5-minute spiritual based practice. Let go of giving someone or something your energy and power. Through a powerful practice of cord cutting, sever the ties that bind you to the other.

Step away from the ego's grip on resentment and step into the energy of your soul. Step into your courage and let go of giving someone or something yoru energy, your power and your time.

Close your eyes, take a breath, and allow the journey to hold you.

You can find more of my meditations on Insight Timer or my personal mediation App Healspace.

Learn More About Working With Me @ www.healwithalchemy.com

Find Me on Instagram @soulalchemyhealing

Welcome back to Healing Our Relationships. This episode dives into the space between who you have been and who you are becoming. The bridge is the place where awareness meets embodiment, where intent becomes practice and where the real transformation happens.

On one side of that bridge is the familiar self, the one who moves from the patterns of codependency that keep them "safe" to avoid pain, the side that is often built on the foundation of fear. Fear of not being good enough, not doing right or fear of truly being seen. On the other side of the bridge is what it looks like when you are living as your authentic self. It is here, on the bridge, it can be really uncomfortable, but where the real lasting healing and growth happens. It is in that walk across when the relationship to yourself deepens in love and reverence.

I will inspire you to have the courage to navigate the discomfort in the in-between of wanting to be chosen and learning to choose ourselves. We look at how the mind, body, and spirit each hold a piece of that work: the mind still learning to release the old story, the body remembering safety, and your spirit teaching you how to trust what's real.

This episode is about the devotion it takes to live in alignment with your soul — to stay steady when the bridge shakes beneath you, and to keep walking toward the life that's actually yours. It is on the bridge you not only meet yourself, but others walking alongside you, tools to help you keep walking and the awakenings that will forever change you.

The first step towards ourself is the scariest, the rest is an unfolding of more than you could probably imagine.

Ready to stop circling the same patterns and start living differently? Book a free Connection Call with me to see how a 12-week guided 1:1 journey can help you rebuild trust with yourself and step into the life you've been working toward. Book Here

Join our live monthly Zoom call for women on the last Thursday of the month by dowloading my free meditation app HealSpace

Thank you for being here. Don't forget to rate and review if this podcast is supporting you.

With Love & Appreciation,

Marisa

This week on the Healing Our Relationships Podcast I have a very special guest. She is the author of 13 books, the Founder of Venus Rising Association for Transformation and creator of Shamanic Breathwork. She has been a shamanic visionary teacher and guide to thousands of people over the last four decades, dedicating her life to assisting soul seekers to transform and embrace their lives. Star Wolf's lifelong passion and sacred purpose is to support personal transformation. She shares openly and vulnerably of her addiction and codependency recovery and brings forward a theme we have not yet touched on in our podcast, Codependency as a crisis of the Spirit.

In this vulnerable and intimate conversation, we explore how the roots of codependency can stem from spiritual disconnection, the forgetting of who we truly are and the divine source that is all around us. Star Wolf speaks to how recovery, in its truest sense, is a process of remembrance and of coming home to the sacred within ourselves.

Together, we discuss how healing moves beyond human behavior and into the realm of the soul, where surrender becomes an opening rather than a loss, and where breath becomes the bridge between the human and the divine.

We also touch on the deeper spiritual roots of codependency and how it reflects the collective wounding of the Divine Feminine under patriarchal systems that have long valued doing over being, pleasing over truth, and control over trust. In reclaiming our connection, we begin to restore balance within ourselves and the world remembering that our worth, our power, and our love were never meant to be earned, only remembered.

This episode is an invitation to those on the path to explore if a connection to something greater could help them reclaim the power of love, and to remember that the journey of healing is ultimately a journey of returning to wholeness, to truth, and to the heart of who we are.

I invite you to have an open heart and open mind. Take what feels in alignment, leave what doesn't and be curous about that which may push you to your edges. Remember we are sharing our own personal expereince- not overarching truths.

Learn More About Star Wolf and Venus Rising at https://www.shamanicbreathwork.org/

You can buy her new book Aquarian Shaman Here

You can learn more about SHIP (Shamanic Healing Initiatory Process) Here

Buy Jacquelyn Small's Book Awakening In Time From Codependency to Co-Creation Here

Learn More about working with me 1:1 or in a Cohort Here

Join our live monthly Zoom call for women on the last Thursday of the month by dowloading my free meditation app HealSpace

Thank you for being here. Don't forget to rate and review if this podcast is supporting you.

With Love & Appreciation,

Marisa

In order to be authentic we have to have the courage to be seen, judged and misunderstood.

So much of our fear of authenticity comes from making assumptions and projection — seeing others not as they are, but through the lens of our own unhealed stories. Whether we are the projectors or being projected upon, in this episode of Healing Our Relationships, we explore how projections keep us afraid to be fully ourselves, and understanding that people's personal experience with us, is rarely just about us. And how having the courage to live with this awareness transforms it into a pathway of freedom.

We explore the subtle and often painful ways projection keeps us trapped in fear — fear of being misunderstood, fear of being too much or not enough, fear of losing love if we show who we really are.

This is a conversation about learning to let others be themselves without trying to fix, manage, or interpret them through the lens of our own wounds. It's also about reclaiming your own freedom by allowing people to have their experience of you and learning how to hold judgement, criticism and someone else's fear.

Together, we'll explore what it means to stand rooted in authenticity, to hold the discomfort of being misunderstood, and to meet yourself with compassion when fears rise. Through reflection and embodied practice, you'll begin to notice the moments when projection takes over, and learn how to return to truth again and again.

Because when you stop trying to control how others see you, you make space for the one thing you've been searching for all along: the freedom to be yourself.

Learn more about me at www.healwithalchemy.com

Follow me on instagram at @soulalchemyhealing

Join us for free on live on Zoom on the last Thursday of the month for Healing Our Relationships the Circle

This month I am on an ancestral pilgrimage to Italy with my father so I am getting creative to bring you something every week. A couple weeks ago my offering for you was a free 7 Day Morning Practice at your own pace video course, last week I offered you a prayer for moments of relationship fear, obsession or disastermind. This week I offer you a guided meditation.

In this meditation you will embark on a profound journey to release feelings of insecurity, unreasonable expectations for yourself and "not enoughness," fear, and anxieties. Expand your consciousness, and transition from focusing on the micro to the macro. As you immerse yourself in the energy of your soul, you will rise above your current state, and transcend beyond the constraints of your rolls, expectations and surroundings. Find inner peace and transform your perspective in this empowering meditation experience.

Give yourself 10 mins to be held, inspired inside of your vision and connect to yourself. I have a reputation for being the best meditation teacher for people who don't like to meditate. I don't invite you into silence, but into vision, into a creation of an inner landscape where you can learn to trust yourself and remember who you are.

You can find more of my meditations on Insight Timer or my personal mediation App Healspace.

Learn More About Me @ www.healwithalchemy.com Work with me 1:1 , Join My Mystery School or Retreat with me.

Find Me on Instagram @soulalchemyhealing

This month I am on an ancestral pilgrimage to Italy with my father so I am getting creative in order to bring you something every week. Last week my offering for you was a free 7 Day Morning Practice at your own pace video course. Give it a listen for the free promo code.

This week I am offering you a prayer for moments when you are experiencing obsession and fear inside of your relationships. Whether it be catastrophic thinking, disaster mind, or fight or flight in your body; Ask the Spirit, the univer, God, whoever you connect to- for relief and the courage to come back home to yourself. Make room for your feelings, honor your experience, and soothe the part of you that needs healing, love, and support.

This is a favorite for all of my Insight Timer listeners.

I hope you will find your breath, inner peace and trust.

Learn More about me at www.healwithalchemy.com

Meditate With Me on Insight Timer

This week I have something special for you.

We can only go so long on our healing journeys with concepts and conversation. We need rhythm. We need practice. We need to move from head to heart to truly begin to embody the work we are doing. We need tools that helps us feel connected to ourselves in a real and powerful ways.

In this bonus episode, I'm offering you just that. A way to root deeper into self-love and self-trust. A way to expereince compassionate awareness as a real living thing and not just a concept. A space for daily practice, without pressure or perfection.

As I am traveling this month and can not bring you a full in depth episode this week, I wanted to make sure you had something substantial from me. So give this short episode a listen, head back here, click the link below, and put in the 100% off code.

On the other side is a gift from me to you — one you can return to again and again.

Your Free Gift Is HERE

Your Promo Code is: PODCAST22

You are worth it. Come home to yourself.

New episodes drop each week!

And if you'd like to explore this work more deeply in community, join me for my Healing Our Relationships live circle on Zoom on the last Thursday of every month. You'll also find guided meditations, teachings, and resources in my HealSpace app — your sanctuary for coming home to yourself.

Learn more at www.healwithalchemy.com

Email me your story submissions, questions or thoughts at [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram at @soulalchemyhealing

Join me in Sedona this November for Awakening Woman Retreat

Codependency can be so confusing. Where does true caring end and self-abandonment begin? How do we know when we've shifted from showing up with love into people-pleasing, controlling, or living for someone else's approval?

In this episode of Healing Our Relationships, I share one of the most direct tools that helped me begin to sort this out: the framework of "Codependency and Recovery — The Differences." Using clear examples, I walk you through these patterns — like in codependency, my good feelings come from you liking me; in recovery, my good feelings come from me liking me — and show how to apply them in real life.

This isn't theory; it's practical guidance you can start using today. As you begin to work with these distinctions, you'll find yourself stepping out of confusion and into greater authenticity, self-trust, and inner peace. Boundaries become clearer. Self-worth grows steadier. And slowly, you return to yourself.

You can find the PDF I am referring to in the episode here: Download PDF

And if you'd like to explore this work more deeply in community, join me for my Healing Our Relationships live circle on Zoom on the last Thursday of every month. You'll also find guided meditations, teachings, and resources in my HealSpace app — your sanctuary for coming home to yourself.

Learn more about me and my offerings at www.healwithalchemy.com

Email me your story submissions, questions or thoughts at [email protected]

Follow me on Instagram at @soulalchemyhealing

Follow me on Insight Timer

Join me in Sedona this November for Awakening Woman Retreat.

In this special conversation, I sit down with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. — A Toltec Master, author, speaker, teacher, and the son of Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. Together, we explore the Toltec path and how its wisdom can help us navigate the fears and patterns that shape our relationships.

Miguel shares powerful insights from his new book, The Poisoned Arrow: The Toltec Guide to Overcoming Fear, on how fear underlies so much of our human experience, and why the key to healthy, happy relationships is not control, shpeshifting, or perfection — but authenticity and unconditional love. We talk about the courage it takes to surrender, to honor both our yes and our no, and to meet others not through fear but through freedom and truth.

This episode is an invitation to pause, reflect, and remember that love rooted in authenticity transforms not only our relationships, but our relationship with ourselves.

By combining the wisdom of his family's traditions with the knowledge gained from his own personal journey, Miguel helps others realize their own path to personal freedom. Meet him on his website www.miguelruizjr.com

Check out his new book in bookstores and online: The Poisoned Arrow: The Toltec Guide to Overcoming Fear

Learn more about me @ www.healwithalchemy.com

Follow me in instagram @soulalchemyhealing