Heart First Leadership

In this episode, Ryan and Heidi discuss the topic of failure and its impact on our human experience. It’s our fear of failure that is a major obstacle that prevents us from taking action and achieving our goals.

We discuss,

• Failure is often the fear that stops people from taking action and pursuing their goals.
• The definition of failure is subjective and depends on expectations set by society, parents, or coaches.
• Failure can be seen as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than a negative outcome.
• Quitting can also be a form of failure if one doesn't learn from the experience.
• Fear of failure is rooted in the fear of being embarrassed, rejected, or isolated from one's tribe.
• Overcoming the fear of failure requires embracing discomfort and seeing failure as an opportunity for growth.
• Failure should be approached with a process-oriented mindset, focusing on personal development and learning from experiences.
• Stepping out of one's comfort zone and practicing vulnerability can lead to valuable skills and personal growth.

Powerful Quotes:

• "I don't think failure is the thing that people are most afraid of, I think it's the thing that stops people the most, from taking action and from going for their goals and dreams."
• "The only way to fail is to not learn from your circumstance."
• "There is incredible power in someone saying, 'This environment is not for me,' and being able to shift, change, and course correct."
• "Failure is not even trying."
• "Your psychological safety comes from you going all in, giving yourself an opportunity to learn the lessons that need to be learned."
• "Failure is actually fear of being embarrassed, rejected, and potentially kicked out of the tribe."
• "It is a completely different experience to start to realize that you can start showing up, you can start really putting your all into something."
• "If my goal is to be more open and more vulnerable in my relationship, and I flex that muscle and I start practicing that, what a great set of skills to take into my next relationship or any other aspect of life."

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In this episode, Ryan and Heidi delve into the universal theme of transitioning in life. From everyday moments to major life events, they explore the significance of embracing change and listening to our experiences. Drawing from their personal journeys, they reflect on the importance of navigating transitions with grace and self-awareness, cautioning against losing touch with our true selves amidst various roles. By highlighting the interconnectedness of our basic human needs and the power of embracing the unknown, they inspire listeners to approach transitions with compassion and embrace the potential for growth and positive outcomes.

We discuss,

• We discuss the process of transitioning and how it is a common theme in everyone's life, from moment to moment and from significant life events like graduating, getting married, becoming a parent, or experiencing loss.
• Ryan and Heidi share their personal experiences of transitioning and how it led them to reflect on their lives and find ways to handle transitions with more ease and grace.
• The concept of identity and the roles we play in life and how we can easily over-identify with specific roles and then feel a sense of being lost when they change.
• Basic human needs of physical well-being, connection, a sense of self, and meaning or purpose in life, and how these needs are interconnected and influence our identity.
• Challenges and fears associated with transitions and the importance of embracing the unknown to find freedom and opportunities for personal growth.
• Practicing self-compassion during transitions.

Powerful quotes:

• "If you stop and think about it, we are all transitioning in life, every day, from moment to moment."
• "I want to share some of our experiences of life, as they become more clear how we could have handled them with more ease and with more grace."
• "We can get over-identified with any aspect of what we're doing or who we're being in our life and lose track of who we really are."
• "The important key to transition is getting in touch with who you truly are and what those values are for you."
• "There's incredible power in the unknown because it's in the unknown that there's not a predetermined pattern."
• "There's polarity in transitions. If it's scary, it also has the potential for excitement and opportunity."

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What if we didn't need a reason to be happy? What if we stopped looking for all these reasons that we thought were going to make us happy and instead focused on moving toward a worthy ideal and the larger impact that could make in the world? That’s what we’re discussing in this podcast episode. Tune in and uncover a limitless well of peace, joy, and happiness within yourself.

We discuss,

• The topic of happiness was sparked by the realization that children can experience happiness without needing a specific reason.
• Our human tendency is to look externally for reasons to be happy, which can lead to unhappiness when those external conditions are not met.
• The importance of pursuing a worthy ideal, which involves personal growth, authenticity, and service to others.
• Spontaneous happiness can arise naturally when you are aligned with your path and free from attachments and preferences.
• The importance of managing your internal world in building a worthy ideal for yourself by focusing on qualities such as confidence, presence, connection, and personal fulfillment rather than external achievements or approval.

Powerful quotes:

• "What if we didn't need a reason? What if we stopped looking for all these reasons that we thought were going to make us happy?"
• "If I believe that my happiness is attached to something, then my unhappiness is also attached to something."
• "Happiness is just kind of a byproduct of working towards a worthy ideal."
• "It is a shedding of layers, stepping out and going, 'Oh, okay, I did that. I didn't die. It's okay.'"
• "Imagine a life or a version of you where life seems to flow through you, rather than happening to you."
• "Focus on the right things and connect with those that you love the most."
• "I'm happy in everything I just said had nothing to do with money, body type, or external validation."
• "Happiness is something that spontaneously arrives when we're on our path and free from attachments."

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This Impact Makers episode features Mindset Coach Paul Fitzgerald and his take on the transformative power of self-acceptance and self-love.

We discuss: 

• Paul opens up about his own experiences with inner conflict, identity loss, and living an inauthentic life. He reveals his inner struggle and thoughts of wanting to die, ultimately leading to a turning point and a desire for change. 
• The importance of being authentic and true to oneself, even if it means not being popular with everyone. 
• Paul encourages his clients to start with small compliments to themselves and gradually build self-acceptance. 
• Paul's coaching approach involves tough love and straight talk to help his clients break free from old patterns and the masks they wear.
• The idea of imagining a conversation with a higher power in one's final days and the regret that might come from not pursuing one's potential. The goal is to inspire clients to take action and make positive changes in their lives.
• The need for all people to learn to love themselves and challenge societal norms around self-worth and the idea of “self-love” particularly for men. 

Quotes:

• "Be authentic, just be you, just be the true you."
• "Sometimes you won't be popular with everybody, but that's okay."
• "Let's open the possibility that you can love yourself."
• "Start with something that you can be okay with about yourself."
• "When you're lost, the next natural progression is to be found."
• "In your final days... we had this amazing stuff planned out for you, and you messed it up."

Connect with Paul: 

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/paul.fitzgerald.98871

IG: https://www.instagram.com/paulfitzgerald_official_

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/

Website: https://fitzycoaching.kartra.com/page/links

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Ready to shift a habit or create a routine that better supports your life goals? You'll want to listen to this episode!

We discuss:

• The concept of one-degree shifts or incremental shifts as a way to create change in various areas of life and the importance of determining what you want to be different in your life and envisioning yourself in the future after making incremental shifts.
• Making one-degree shifts over time can lead to significant changes and a different direction in life and the power of small actions and the compound effect they have over time.
• The simplicity of the practice but acknowledge that it requires fortitude and belief to see the long-term benefits.
• How to set minimum goals or micro-goals in different areas such as exercise, nutrition, social interaction, etc.
• Importance of staying in rhythm and adapting routines to match current needs and priorities.
• Embracing the challenge of sticking to new habits and intentions by using practical strategies to remind yourself and create pattern interrupts. Examples include using notes or Post-it reminders, moving apps on the phone to different folders with thought-provoking labels, and time-blocking tasks in a planner.
• We introduce the concept of layering activities where multiple beneficial actions are combined, such as drinking water, conscious breathing, walking, sun exposure, and grounding.

Powerful Quotes:

• "Shifting away from that experience that feels constricted is a very simple but not easy practice."
• "Go as far as you can see, and then once you get there, you'll be able to see further."
• "If you take on this mindset of incremental shifting or one-degree shifts, then you will at a point in time be able to look back and be like, 'Wow, look at that.'"
• "The compound effect of small actions over time can lead to significant changes."
• "You don't set the table all at once. You put one layer, you layer, you put one thing down at a time until it becomes just routine."
• "Every day is a new opportunity to stop and smell the flowers, to listen to the birds singing, to be present in your life."
• "Make each day your masterpiece. And that's done by linking glimpses of goodness together."

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In this episode, we discuss Ryan's personal story and his book "Choice Point," which addresses breaking the cycle of depression, anxiety, and self-sabotage to realize his own potential and how you can too. 

We Discuss: 

• Ryan's past experiences with anxiety, self-doubt, depression, and suicidal thoughts shaped his journey and led him to seek ways to make a positive impact.
• Ryan's internal turmoil intensified over time, affecting his marriage, parenting, and overall well-being as he struggled silently, even while achieving success in various areas of his life.
• Despite external accomplishments, Ryan felt trapped in darkness and saw no way out, leading to a sense of hopelessness.
• The importance of acknowledging and addressing the challenges and difficulties of the human experience.
• The power of choice and how it shapes our experiences.By choosing how we respond to each moment, we condition ourselves to perceive things differently.
• The importance of starting the day with intention.

Powerful Quotes:

• "In each moment, we have a choice to continue to let our past dictate our future, or to choose to write a new story that serves our greatest good."
• "I'm gonna feel it fully. And then I'm going to turn it into excitement and joy and purpose and meaning. So here we go. I'm ready."
• "This human experience is not always rainbows and unicorns."
• "When I was in the film room, where I'm on a football field with a whistle around my neck and having the guys hit the sled... there was nothing, I was completely free in those moments."
• "To perceive something different, to see opportunity, to see potential, to see the gift, to learn the lesson, to see the good thing in somebody else."
• "Whatever we're facing, whatever challenges we're traversing in life, we always have an opportunity for a choice point, we always have a chance to decide who it is we want to be."
• "I'm here to shine as big a light and scream from the mountaintops you guys that there's hope to learn how to let go and understand how to use the mind for your greatest good."

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In this episode, we dive into a heartfelt conversation about life, love, and loss with Impact Maker- Certified Grief Educator, Mary Anne Ruddis. Mary Anne's journey is deeply intertwined with her passion for helping others, particularly families of children facing cancer and those with special needs. As the Executive Director of Elevations: A Children's Therapy Resource Foundation, she works tirelessly to raise funding for therapy services, making a significant impact on families facing unseen challenges. Mary Anne's extensive personal experience with medically fragile children and loss has shaped her perspective and fuels her drive to make a difference. Join us as we explore her remarkable story and delve into the profound belief that we all have a responsibility to the world we live in and that CHOICE is one of the greatest gifts we can embrace.

• Mary Anne shares her personal experience with loss and grief, including the diagnosis and deaths of her daughter, husband, and son from cancer. 
• Her personal journey to clarity and embracing life experiences without resistance. 
• Mary Anne shares her perspective on grief and the importance of embracing and processing emotions along with recognizing the challenges others may face when trying to support someone who is grieving and the fear of saying the wrong thing.
• Mary Anne highlights the importance of being present and showing up for others during difficult times and encourages understanding and empathy, emphasizing the intention behind someone's words rather than focusing on the specific words used. She also shares how much being able to accept help from others can impact one’s healing journey. 
• We discuss the human need for connection and our shared desire to normalize the human experience, including grief, and the societal pressure to suppress emotions.
• Mary Anne speaks about her exploration of philosophical and religious concepts to find answers about suffering and the human condition and her shifts in perspective and understanding of life and death over time. The importance of knowing oneself and accepting life as it is to find happiness embracing the impersonal universe and seeing one's life as part of a greater fabric.
• The power of choice and the ability to shift perspective and focus on the light even in dark times the existential question of why we are here and the search for meaning and purpose.

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Ryan & Heidi interview Casey Jacox, Author of the book ‘WIN the RELATIONSHIP, not the DEAL: Six Common Sense Strategies to Succeed in Life & Business’, who discusses his mission to address the lack of humility, vulnerability, and curiosity in the world.

• Casey emphasizes the importance of curiosity in building relationships and personal growth.
• Casey shares anecdotes and highlights the value of learning from mistakes and embracing adversity.
• Using the TED framework (Tell me, Explain, Describe) can help ask effective questions and foster meaningful conversations.
• Asking specific questions about how to slow down and improve in various roles (friend, employee, leader) can provide valuable feedback.
• Creating space for others to share their perspectives and gifts promotes connection and growth.
• All feedback is valuable, and there is no such thing as bad feedback.
• Using curiosity and meaningful questions can strengthen relationships and deepen understanding.
• The six common sense strategies discussed in Casey’s book include being nice, starting with positivity, setting expectations, active listening, humility, practicing one's craft, and having patience.
• One common issue is leaders not creating space for others to contribute, which can lead to a culture of fear and hinder growth.
•  Using spoken affirmations: The H.A.W. (I Have, I Am, I Will) method.

Episode Quotes:

"I'm on a mission to solve three problems: lack of humility, lack of vulnerability, and a lack of curiosity."

"Curiosity is an absolute superpower."

"I love being curious. I love teaching curiosity."

"Things don't happen to people, they happen for us."

Connect with Casey:

Website: www.caseyjacox.com

 Grab Casey’s Book

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Ryan and Heidi delve into the significance of mindset in personal growth and making a positive impact. They introduce three key Integrated Mindset principles:

• Taking full responsibility
• Seeing everything as an opportunity
• Viewing life as a training ground

Despite the challenge of accepting that everything in life is for your benefit, they emphasize the power of mindset. By reflecting on personal experiences, including difficult circumstances that led to growth and clarity, they highlight the concept of the Law of Polarity. Ryan shares a personal journey of overcoming depression and anxiety, finding purpose, and being content regardless of external circumstances. They stress the importance of finding lessons and opportunities in everyday situations to develop resilience and inner strength.

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Join Ryan and Heidi in this episode as they delve into the topic of intentionally disconnecting from our regular environments and plugging into ourselves. By taking time to connect with our inner selves and higher power, we can recharge and gain clarity on our next steps toward becoming the best versions of ourselves. Additionally, they share practical tips on breaking unconscious patterns and habits in our daily lives and provide guidance on planning pattern interrupts at different intervals, from daily to annual.

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