Grief is not simply the absence of someone we love—it can also be the absence of what we deserved but never received. In this profound conversation with counselor and trauma specialist Fonda Miller, we explore the often-overlooked dimensions of loss and healing that shape our emotional lives.

Fonda shares a perspective on grief that transforms how we understand our deepest sorrows. Using the striking image of a balanced teeter-totter, she explains how the weight of our grief directly corresponds to the depth of our love—making grief itself a testament to how deeply we connected with what we've lost. "It's a gift," she says, "because what it says is I loved deeply and I was loved deeply."

But what about the grief that comes from never having what we deserved? Fonda guides us through understanding childhood trauma as a form of hidden grief that follows people into adulthood, often without recognition. Through powerful metaphors like pressure cookers and release valves, she offers insights into how we can support those carrying these invisible burdens.

As a certified Mental Health First Aid trainer who's worked with trauma victims across various contexts, Fonda brings extraordinary wisdom to everyday situations we all encounter. She explains how to notice when someone might be struggling with unprocessed trauma and provides practical guidance for creating safe spaces where healing can begin. The conversation touches on everything from talking to children about death to supporting survivors of trafficking and abuse.

Whether you're processing your own grief or supporting someone through theirs, this episode offers compassionate perspectives that honor the complexity of human suffering while providing pathways toward healing. Because as Fonda reminds us, "Everyone is facing something"—and understanding this truth is the first step toward greater kindness in our world.

Join us in exploring how grief, in all its forms, connects to our deepest capacity for love and resilience.


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(00:00:00) Carrying Grief Forward Doesn't Mean Leaving Love Behind

(00:00:47) Introduction to Host and Guest

(00:02:09) Mother's Cancer Diagnosis and Family Hope

(00:04:16) The Hospice Experience

(00:10:10) Announcement and Disclaimer

(00:10:56) Sister Jackie's Struggle with Alcoholism

(00:17:37) Understanding Ambiguous Loss

(00:21:31) Finding Joy Amid Grief

(00:27:35) Writing About Grief and Loss

(00:28:48) Closing Thoughts and Resources

Award-winning journalist Dina Gachman takes us on a profound journey through the landscape of loss, sharing how the deaths of her mother from cancer and sister from alcoholism transformed her understanding of grief. With remarkable candor, Dina reveals the unexpected realities of home hospice care—administering morphine every few hours with minimal professional support, experiencing moments of dark humor amidst heartbreak, and feeling the conflicting emotions of not wanting a loved one to die while being exhausted by their prolonged suffering.

The conversation explores the concept of "ambiguous loss"—grief experienced not from death but from relationship changes—which Dina encountered during her sister's years-long battle with alcoholism. She articulates how this differs from the anticipatory grief she felt watching her mother's cancer progress, offering valuable insights for anyone navigating complex family relationships affected by addiction or illness.

Most powerfully, Dina challenges the common misconception that grief follows five neat stages before we "move on." Instead, she describes learning to integrate grief permanently into her life: "I'm now a person forevermore that carries grief with me every single day, but I have a ton of joy." This reframing offers tremendous hope to listeners feeling overwhelmed by loss, demonstrating how we can honor our departed loved ones while still embracing happiness.

Dina's book "So Sorry for Your Loss" emerged from recognizing how uncomfortable most people are discussing grief. She combines personal memoir with journalistic exploration of topics like pet loss, hospice care, and the connection between food and mourning. Her work reminds us that acknowledging grief openly doesn't diminish joy—it creates space for authentic healing and deeper connection with both the living and those we've lost.

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Imagine living in a war zone, where the constant threat of rocket attacks shapes daily life. This is the reality for Hanny Sidis, an occupational dance and mind-body therapist from Israel. In our conversation, she shares her unique therapeutic approach to processing emotions through movement, even amidst air raids. Alongside her, Toni Alexander, an American author and inspirational speaker, brings her insights into maintaining respectful dialogues across political divides in the U.S. Together, they explore the profound impact of national events on personal and community well-being and offer strategies for resilience through the mind-body connection.

Amidst societal chaos, how do we cope with the resulting trauma and stress? We tackle this question by reflecting on the emotional landscape of living in constant alert and insecurity, both in Israel and the United States. From the fear of active shooter drills in American schools to the unyielding stress of life in a conflict zone, our conversation highlights the importance of mental health in times of turmoil. We delve into the necessity of understanding these psychological impacts and discuss the resilience of the human spirit in overcoming such challenges.

As we close, we turn our focus to grief recovery, offering guidance and solidarity to those navigating the complexities of loss. With heartfelt stories, Hanny and Toni remind us that moving forward doesn't mean forgetting those we've lost. Instead, it involves cherishing memories while embracing life's journey. Our episode serves as a monthly beacon of solace and community, reassuring listeners that they are not alone. Join us and discover practical strategies to manage trauma and stress in an unpredictable world, fostering hope and resilience along the way.

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Fiona Kanter's journey from heart-wrenching grief to a source of hope and support for others is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. She joins us to share the painful loss of her daughter, Lee Gabriella, and how this tragedy has become a catalyst for her advocacy work in trauma and bereavement. Our conversation oscillates between poignant memories of our daughters' miraculous beginnings and the stark realities of their premature departures, highlighting how these experiences have irrevocably shaped our lives and missions.

Parenting is never a straightforward endeavor, especially when raising exceptionally gifted children or spirited teenagers. Through the story of Lee, we explore the unique challenges and joys of nurturing a precocious child who excels in everything from languages to music. However, simultaneously, Fiona reveals the complexities of balancing Lee's intellectual gifts with her emotional development, as well as the profound impact Lee's short life left on those around her. These narratives underscore the delicate balance parents must strike in guiding and protecting their children as they navigate the world.

Humor and giving back can be powerful tools in healing, as evidenced by the various initiatives we've embraced following personal loss. From supporting at-risk youth in Jerusalem to equine-assisted psychotherapy and aiding lone soldiers in Israel, our efforts reflect a commitment to community and resilience. Laughter, even amidst sorrow, emerges as a critical component of healing, offering moments of lightness and connection. Our episode promises insights into the transformative journey from grief to action, with the hope of inspiring others who find themselves on similar paths.

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After the heart-wrenching loss of her young daughter Alyce to a rare cancer, Izumi Favia decided to turn her grief into a guiding light for others. In this poignant episode, we invite you to listen to Izumi's heartfelt story of love, loss, and the profound journey she undertook to rebuild her life. From the unexpected joy of a natural pregnancy to the blissful memories of Alyce's adventurous spirit, Izumi recounts these cherished moments with a raw honesty that touches the core of parental love. Her story is not just about heartbreak, but also about the challenge of facing an unimaginable diagnosis and how she navigated the tumultuous path of treatments and hope.

Izumi’s transformative healing offers a beacon of hope to those grappling with similar loss. She shares her personal transformation and the coping strategies that helped her find peace, including journaling, meditation, and eventually becoming a certified coach. This transition allowed her to extend compassion and support to other grieving parents, helping them rediscover joy amidst sorrow. Join us for this conversation that illuminates the resilience of the human spirit and the surprising paths to recovery that can emerge from the deepest depths of grief.

Helpful Link Mentioned in this episode:

Izumi's website: https://www.izumifavia.com

Izumi's book: https://www.amazon.com/Writing-Heal-Izumi-Favia/dp/1961098199

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

What if the most devastating experiences of your life could become a beacon of hope for others? Autumn and Brandon Cohen join us to share their profound journey through loss and resilience, starting with the stillbirth of their son, Bastion, in March 2020, and extending to the loss of Brandon's brother in December 2022. They open up about the heart-wrenching task of helping their daughter Adeline cope with her brother's death, and how these experiences led Autumn to establish "Still Loved," an organization dedicated to honoring babies who left too soon.

Autumn and Brandon navigate us through the unique challenges of grieving during the COVID-19 pandemic, revealing the emotional turmoil they faced with hospital restrictions and the cautious joy of welcoming their rainbow baby, Colby. Their story emphasizes the crucial role of communication, therapy, and mutual support, showing how they fortified their relationship amidst multiple losses. The Cohens' candid reflections highlight the importance of open dialogue, shedding light on how they transformed their grief into a source of strength and connection.

Discover how Autumn and Brandon have touched the lives of over 2,000 families through "Still Loved," offering solace and support in the face of unimaginable loss. They also discuss their children's book, "In Memory of You," which has resonated with a global audience by providing comfort to those experiencing similar grief. With their dedication to keeping Bastion's memory alive through annual celebrations and meaningful symbols, the Cohens exemplify how love and community can help heal even the deepest wounds. Join us for this heartfelt conversation that underscores the universal nature of grief and the enduring strength found in unity.

Helpful links:

The Cohen's book: https://inmemoryofyoubook.com/
The Cohen's website: https://www.still-loved.org/
Instagram: stilllovedfoundation
Facebook: stilllovedfoundation

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

What if a shared journey through loss could spark an inspiring platform that brings healing to countless others? Welcome to the eighth season of "Bereaved But Still Me," where our personal stories intertwine with hope and resilience. Join me, Michael LIben, alongside my dear friends and colleagues, executive producer Anna Jaworski and producer Nancy Jensen, as we explore the birth and evolution of our podcast. The bonds we formed years ago, nurtured through parenting children with congenital heart defects, have created a sanctuary for bereavement support. Together, we honor the memories of our loved ones while fostering a sense of purpose and renewed strength.

Our podcast is more than just a collection of stories; it is a testament to friendship and the power of collaboration. Nancy, who initially joined us as our first guest, now plays a crucial role as a producer, and her journey following the loss of her daughter Jessica highlights the importance of this community. Through personal experiences and shared tears, we have built a platform that not only serves as a vital outlet for grief but also reinforces our connections and shared mission. From the initial sparks of connection via an old-school listserv to our current reach, we reflect on the camaraderie that has driven us forward.

In this heartfelt episode, we invite you to explore the therapeutic dimensions of podcasting with us. Our conversations with professionals like Silke Herwald and cherished friends such as Carter and Faye Mayberry have enriched our understanding of grief and healing. We engage in meaningful discussions on topics ranging from faith to the diverse ways people experience loss. As we expand our horizons to include episodes in multiple languages, our goal remains steadfast: to inspire hope and connection within our ever-growing community.Thanks to our newest HUG Patron, Ayrton Beatty and long-standing Patrons: Laura Redfern, Pam Davis, Michael Liben, Nancy Jensen, Alicia Lynch, Deena Barber, Carlee McGuire, Carter & Faye Mayberry, and Frank Jaworski. We appreciate you!We appreciate it when people support Hearts Unite the Globe podcasts. Thanks to our newest supporters - Annie Ulchak (Patreon) and Judy Miller (Buzzsprout)!

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Can a story of loss become a beacon of hope for others navigating the difficult journey of bereavement? Join us as Sheri Turner and Desiree Vaught share their poignant personal experiences with congenital heart defects and the profound impact on their lives. Sheri opens up about the loss of her firstborn, Thomas, and the challenges of raising her surviving children amid grief, including the emotional turmoil of a miscarriage. Desiree reflects on her son Logan’s brief yet meaningful life and the incredible strength she found in creating a support group for bereaved parents. Their stories highlight the resilience found in community and the healing power of shared experiences.

Navigating the emotional complexities of parenting after trauma can be an arduous road. Sheri and Desiree share their reflections on the self-doubt that often accompanies difficult medical decisions for a child. They discuss how grace and patience are crucial in the grieving process and emphasize that each person's journey is uniquely their own. Together, they explore the peace that can be found in accepting past choices, despite the heartbreak. Their shared experiences remind us that compassion and understanding are vital as we make peace with our past and present decisions.

After reconnecting online after more than two decades, Sheri and Desiree are now channeling their grief into a joint project: a book of essays dedicated to children lost to heart defects. This collaboration aims to break the silence surrounding grief, offering solace and connection through storytelling. Desiree shares how writing has been essential to her healing, while Sheri emphasizes the power of diverse narratives to validate others' feelings. Through this endeavor, they hope to provide a platform for parents to share their stories and find comfort in knowing they are not alone on their journey.

Helpful Links:

Baby Hearts Press: https://www.babyheartspress.com

Become a Spreaker Supporter: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support

How do you measure the impact of a life well-lived, especially when that life is cut short by illness? Join us as we uncover the incredible journey of Uri Lahav through the heartfelt stories of his parents, Elisheva and Michael. From their daring move from the United States to Israel to raising a family in a foreign land amid the backdrop of war, this episode paints a vivid picture of resilience, community, and the enduring power of a passionate spirit.

In our conversation, we reflect on the profound experiences of the Lahav family, focusing on the remarkable life of their firstborn son, Uri. He wasn't just an athlete but a beacon of inspiration who found his calling in judo, teaching and mentoring others despite the physical pain he often endured. We recount the joys and challenges of Elisheva and Michael as new immigrants raising bilingual children and how Uri's social nature and dedication to judo created a ripple effect, fostering a sense of belonging and community involvement wherever he went.

Finally, we tackle the harrowing battle Uri faced with multiple myeloma in his 40s. Through experimental treatments and unwavering support from his family, Uri's story is one of courage and relentless hope. Elisheva and Michael share their emotional journey of navigating grief while honoring their son's legacy through annual donation drives and the lasting connections Uri made. This episode is a poignant tribute to a life that continues to inspire, offering insights on resilience, love, and the ways we can honor our lost loved ones.

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Have you ever wondered how to navigate the emotional maze of caring for a parent with dementia? Join us as Karmon Hill opens her heart and shares her poignant journey of moving her mother across states and ultimately finding her a memory care facility. We discuss the delicate balance of respecting her mother’s past as an esteemed educator while confronting the painful realities of cognitive decline. Karmon’s story is a testament to the power of community support and the deep emotional resilience required in caregiving.

In our conversation, Karmon emphasizes the critical steps needed to prepare for future caregiving, including the importance of legal documents like power of attorney and living revocable trusts. She offers practical advice on finding supportive healthcare professionals and resources, and shares her own strategies for maintaining family harmony amidst the challenges. Don't miss out on essential tips for remote caregiving, the value of open family dialogues, and Karmon's impactful lessons from her mother's dementia experience.

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