Heart Work After Betrayal | Infidelity, Marriage, Forgiveness, Loneliness, Trust

Been consumed by the pain of broken trust and betrayal for a long time? Book a 💙HEART Reset Coaching Call. In just under an hour, we'll look at what's keeping you stuck and map out your one next step

Do you find yourself replaying what happened over and over, unable to look away?

Does the pain feel so loud that it takes up everything?

Has the hurt started telling you who God is?

You'll Walk Away With...

This episode is part of The Heart Reset, a four-week series walking through the 30-Day Heart Reset Map. If you came to my Heart Reset workshop, this is the companion to Week 2 of your map. If you didn't, you can still follow along easily.

We're in Week 2: See Him. I share the drawing from my workshop of a woman with her head bowed, staring at her broken heart, and walk through three truths: pain wants to take over; look up and live; and God is the Lifter of your head. We look at Numbers 21, where God's people were healed by looking up at the bronze serpent, and at John 3, where Jesus says that story pointed to Him. Then we see how, in Psalm 23, David's voice changes in the valley, from "He" to "You."

New to the series? Start with Episodes 72 and 73, then Episode 74, and come back to this one.

Email: [email protected]

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Next Steps

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

💙 Feeling overwhelmed and stuck? Book a HEART Reset Coaching Call. In just under an hour, we'll name what's keeping you stuck and map out your next personal step together. 

Where is God in all of this? Does He even see me?

How can I trust Him when I don't trust anyone right now?

Will I ever feel safe again?

You'll Walk Away With...

This episode is part of The Heart Reset, a four-week series walking through the 30-Day Heart Reset Map. If you came to my Heart Reset workshop, this is the companion to Week 2 of your map. If you didn't, you can walk it with us right here, one week at a time.

In Week 1, we looked at the fear underneath survival mode and the lie that says, "I'm on my own." This week is about focusing on how we see Him. After betrayal, our picture of God can get blurry, and the storm reveals what we really believe. In this shaky season the enemy will tempt us to doubt God's goodness. Today we open Psalm 23 and meet a Shepherd who feeds, guides, and shields, and who promises, "You are with me," right in the valley. Then I give you this week's practice: Psalm 23 Mornings.

New to the series? Start with Episodes 72 and 73, then come back to this one.

Email: [email protected]

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Next Steps

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

💙 Ready for someone to walk alongside you? Book a HEART Reset Coaching Call. In 50min we'll name what's keeping you stuck and map out your next 30 days together. BOOK CALL NOW

Have you been asking yourself: 

Why do I feel like I have to hold everything together?

Why can't I just let my guard down?

Will I ever feel safe again?

You'll Walk Away With...

This episode is part of The Heart Reset, a four-week series walking through the 30-Day Heart Reset Map: See Yourself, See Him, Decide, and Tend. Each week has a Monday Heart Check and a Thursday Deep Dive. 

We're in Week 1: See Yourself. In Episode 72, we talked about how every survival mode is protecting you from a fear. Today we go one layer deeper, to the lie underneath that fear. I share the sentence I didn't know I believed, "Trust no one but myself," and walk through three truths: survival mode runs on the lie that you're on your own; that lie is as old as the garden; and the answer to it is a Person, not a feeling. We look at Genesis 3, where God comes looking for hiding hearts, and Hebrews 13, where He promises, "I will not, I will not, I will not… leave you or forsake you."

New here? Start with Episodes 66 and 67 on survival mode, then Episode 72, then come back to this one.

Email: [email protected]

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Next Steps

Not ready for a call yet? Email [email protected] and I'll send you the free replay of The Heart Reset After Betrayal workshop and/or the roadmap. 

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. 

***🗺️ Get your free 30-Day Heart Reset Map*** : just email [email protected] with the word "MAP," and I'll send it to you.

3 Simple Steps That Lead You Toward Peace Instead of Staying Stuck in Emotional Chaos:

If you are asking yourself:

Why can't I stop replaying it?

Why can't I let go of my anger, grief or shock?

Will I ever feel at peace again, or comfortable in my own skin?

You'll Walk Away With...

This episode begins a new four-week series. Each week, we're walking through one week of the 30-Day Heart Reset Map from my live workshop, The Heart Reset After Betrayal. Mondays give you that week's practice, and Thursdays go deeper. If you weren't at the workshop, you can still walk the map with us. Just email me for your own copy of the roadmap at [email protected]

Week 1 of the 30-day roadmap is: "See Yourself". In Episode 66, we named the four survival modes: numb, busy, hustling, and people-pleasing. Today we go one layer deeper. Every survival mode is protecting you from a fear, and naming that fear lets you bring it to God instead of carrying it alone. I share what I found underneath my own anger, and why David's words in Psalm 56:3 begin with "when I am afraid."

If you're new to the concept of survival mode, start with Episodes 66 and 67, then come back to this one.

Email: [email protected]

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Next Steps

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Are you tired of the emotional ups and downs and the thoughts that won't stop replaying?

Have you realized that trying to fix him or the situation just pulls you back into survival mode?

Are you wondering what exactly your part is in the healing? 

You'll Walk Away With...

This episode answers the question I left you with in Episode 69: if I don't have to fix myself, what is my part in healing? On Monday, in Episode 70, we talked about coming to God as you are and finding rest in walking with Jesus. Today, we take the next step.

I walk you through three truths.

First, your part is tending, not fixing. Your heart is a vineyard you've been put in charge of, and after the storm of betrayal, it's easy to shut down into survival mode. I share what a physical therapist taught me about a pinched nerve and why our emotions respond in a similar way.

Second, grace isn't opposed to effort. We look at the two ditches of trying harder and passive waiting, and how to walk with Jesus between them.

Third, vision leads the way. Using Dallas Willard's Vision, Intention, and Means, I invite you to finish one sentence: "With God as my protector, I am becoming a woman who…"

If you're new to the survival mode conversation, start with Episodes 66 and 67, then catch up on Episodes 68 through 70.

Email: [email protected]

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Next Steps

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

You'll discover where you really are in your healing journey, begin to ask the questions that will move you forward and build your own 30-Day Heart Reset Map. No matter where you are at in your journey, in your marriage or even with God - this is for you!!!!

REGISTER NOW! 

Are you waiting until you feel stronger, calmer, or more sure about your marriage before you take a next step in healing after the betrayal? 

Do you feel too tired, angry, or confused to pray "the right way" right now?

Have you wondered whether God is waiting for you to get yourself together first?

You'll Walk Away With...

This is the final Monday Heart Check before The Heart Reset After Betrayal, my free live workshop on Tuesday, October 6. Over the last two weeks, we've talked about survival mode and the shift from "How can I fix this?" to "What kind of person am I going to be?" Last Thursday, I shared how my pain kept my head down until God lifted it, and I left you with a question: if I don't have to fix myself, what is my part in healing?

Today, I talk about the step that comes before that answer: simply coming to God as you are. We look at Jesus' invitation to the weary and burdened, the honest prayer of Psalm 13, and why the rest Jesus promises is found in walking with Him, not in having it all together first. Then I give you this week's practice: two minutes a day of honest conversation with God, ending with "Here I am, Lord. I'm coming to You."

If you're new here, start with Episodes 66 and 67 on survival mode, then Episodes 68 and 69, so the workshop builds on what you've already heard.

Email: [email protected]

Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Next Steps

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

You'll discover where you really are in your healing journey, begin to ask the questions that will move you forward and build your own 30-Day Heart Reset Map. Whether he's doing the work or not, this is for you! S

REGISTER NOW! 

He's apologized and he's doing the work to rebuild trust, so why do you still feel so angry, guarded, or cold?

Do you find your mind stuck on the whys: why he did it, where God was, and how you ended up here?

Have you started to believe that after betrayal, the only person you can really trust is yourself?

You'll Walk Away With…

Over the past few weeks, we've explored how survival mode shows up after betrayal, the four ways we survive broken trust, and, on Monday, the shift from "How can I fix this?" to "What kind of person am I going to be?"

In this episode, I continue the story I started on Monday about realizing I didn't want to be angry anymore. I share how I became so fixed on my pain and my broken heart that I couldn't see God or myself clearly, and how the Psalms helped lift my head again. Once I saw God as my helper and protector, I began to remember who I still was: His daughter, still wearing a crown I couldn't see.

If you're new here, start with Episodes 66 and 67 on survival mode, then listen to Episode 68 before this one.

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

📖 Ephesians 4:26 

🎙️ Episode 57: 5 Truths About Who You Are That Betrayal and Infidelity Cannot Touch

📚 Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard

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CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

📧 [email protected]

Next Steps:

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

How many times this week have you asked yourself, "How do I fix this?"

Do you find yourself solving, researching, or replaying conversations, but still not moving forward?

Are you tired of circling around the same blame, toward him or toward yourself?

YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH...

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

🗓️ Free live workshop: The Heart Reset After Betrayal. Tuesday, October 6, 2pm PST. Get unstuck from survival mode with a 30-day reset map. REGISTER HERE!

📖 Proverbs 4:23 

🎙️ Episode 66: Stuck After Betrayal? Here's How Survival Mode Really Shows Up

💌 Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

📧 [email protected]

Next Steps

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Since the betrayal in your marriage came out - have you been scrolling for hours, cleaning at midnight, or checking his phone one more time, and wondered why you can't stop?

When friends and family check in with you, do you say "I'm fine" so everyone else is "fine" while your own heart feels heavier every week?

Are you past the initial shock of finding out about your husband's infidelity but still struggle to pick up all the pieces?

🗓️ SIGN UP FOR THE FREE LIVE WORKSHOP: The Heart Reset After Betrayal! Tuesday, October 6, 2pm PST. Get unstuck from survival mode with a 30-day reset map. REGISTER HERE FOR FREE!

🎙️ Episode 66: Stuck After Betrayal? Here's How Survival Mode Really Shows Up - the heart check that goes with this episode

📖 Proverbs 4:23 "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life." - the image of being the keeper of our vineyard/garden 

🎙️35 | What Has the Storm of Betrayal and Broken Trust Left Behind in Your Heart?

🎙️36 | Why I Still Can't Forgive: 8 Hidden Layers of Loss After Betrayal and Broken Trust

💌 Subscribe to my weekly newsletter

CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

📧 [email protected]

Next Steps

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Have you been wondering how much longer this pain is going to last?

Do you want to feel "normal" again, even though you're not sure what that means anymore?

Have you noticed some days feel better than others, but underneath it, you still feel stuck?

YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH...

You will be introduced to this week's practice, the Mode Check: Pick a moment to pause and reflect on "Where in my day have I been functioning from survival mode and which one of the four modes seems to my tendency?"

***SOMETHING EXCITING HAPPENING SOON!!!***

Come join us as we will sort through the emotional chaos and confusion together in community with other women navigating betrayal in their marriage.

You will leave with more clarity what your practical next step looks like in your heart healing journey from broken trust and betrayal.

This live workshop will last about 45min and end with 10min of Q&A! 

CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

Next Steps:

💌 Subscribe to the Heart Work Love Letter

🫂 Join the Heart Work Healing Circle : a private community for women walking this same road, right now

This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you're unable to function day to day — unable to work, eat, or sleep for an extended period — or feel unsafe, please reach out to a licensed therapist in addition to any coaching support. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.