Heart Work After Betrayal | Infidelity, Marriage, Forgiveness, Loneliness, Trust

YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH...

This is the final letter of the CROWN series: N, Never Do It Alone.

The core idea: every practice from this series: Catching a thought, Reviewing it, Owning your response, Walking it out, all of it, gets stronger in community but quietly erodes in isolation, because a false thought left unchallenged in your own head just keeps running on repeat.

New here? This episode caps a five-week series. Start with Episode 56 if you want the full journey from the beginning.

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Next Steps:

This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Have you been given contradicting advice that seemed all across the board about how to respond to your husband's betrayal or unfaithfulness? 

Do you find yourself doing all the "right" things, forgiving, serving, loving but you still end up resentful and exhausted?

Have you ever wondered if peace is even possible while you're still deciding whether to stay or go?

YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH...

This is Week 4 of the CROWN series, a deep dive into our identity (Episode 57), authority (Episode 59), choice (Episode 61) as we wrestle through what this all means for us after betrayal in our marriage.

This week, I make the four points on

- why the crown has to come first,

- why it isn't the whole picture on its own,

- what it looks like to wear both day to day,

- and how to ask the same honest question in your own life.

New here? Start with Episode 57 to start at the beginning of the series

PART 3: RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

PART 4: CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

Next Steps:

This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH...

PART 3: RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

PART 4: CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

Next Steps:

This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH...

This episode walks through five aspects of owning your response, built around a picture of choosing healthy food over junk food

1) believing that God is good before anything else can change

2) expecting resistance without mistaking it for failure

3) deciding in advance what truth will replace the old thought

4) walking the full Catch/Review/Own process in a real example

5) trusting grace to do the sustaining work instead of white-knuckling through it

This is the third week in our C.R.O.W.N series - start with Episode 57 if you want to start at the beginning!

PART 3: RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

💌 Subscribe to the Heart Work Love Letter

 CONNECT WITH JULIA 

Next Steps:

This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Have you ever felt a single thought hijack your whole afternoon before you even realized what happened?

This is Week 3 of the CROWN series. If you haven't listened to Heart Checks 56 and 58 yet, start there first, this week builds directly on both.

C - Catch the Thought: how to stop the thought spiral and practice to trace what thought led to another

R - Review and Examine the Thought: how three questions can put any thought on trial.

This week, we land on O - Own Your Response. Once you've caught a thought and examined it, you still get to decide what to do with it: agree with it, or don't.

Today I'm giving you one simple word how to “address” that thought, and then turn to Jesus and agree with Him instead. 

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

Contact → [email protected]

Next Steps:

HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***NOW OPEN

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Have you ever felt like a triggered thought didn't just visit, it moved in and tried to take over the whole house?

Last week we started the identity teaching in the CROWN series, based on 2 Cor 10, and we are slowly making our way through what it really means to take every thought captive.

This episode answers the question underneath that whole practice: where do you get the right to arrest and put a thought on trial in the first place?

I'm walking you through the authority you carry as a daughter of the King, the real, positional authority over your own mind, which is what gives Monday's trial its legal standing.

This is Week 2 of the CROWN series,  If you haven't listened to last week’s episodes, start there!

Contact → [email protected]

Next Steps:

HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***NOW OPEN***

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Do your thoughts after betrayal feel so real and so certain that you automatically believe them even when something inside you suspects they might not be telling you the whole truth?

Have you ever wondered how to tell the difference between a thought that is actually true and one that only feels true because the pain attached to it is so intense?

Have you been catching yourself in the thought spiral this week noticing the chain and wondering what to do with what you found?

Last week we started the CROWN series: five Monday Heart Check practices that together spell C-R-O-W-N and build on each other week by week. Last week was C - Catch the Thought. This week is R - Review and Examine the Thought.

In this episode I am introducing the second step in taking every thought captive: putting the thought on trial. I am walking you through three simple questions to ask every fearful thought after betrayal so you can begin separating what is actually true from what only feels true.

A thought is not automatically true just because it feels true. We are wearing the crown, our true identity in Christ, which is the evidence you bring into the courtroom when the thought stands up and makes its case.

This is Week 2 of the CROWN series. If you have not yet listened to Episodes 56 and 57 go back and start there first. Everything we are building this week depends on that foundation.

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

Contact → [email protected]

Next Steps:

Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical tools straight to your inbox → Subscribe to my weekly Heart Work Love Letter

Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question

Step 3: HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***NOW OPEN!!!

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Have you looked at yourself since the betrayal and barely recognized who you are anymore?

Does it feel like the person you used to be has gotten lost somewhere in the pain and confusion and survival mode?

Do you find yourself interpreting your husband cheating on you as evidence about who you are as if his choices somehow say something true about whether you are enough, whether you are lovable, whether you are worth choosing?

So much of what feels unbearable after betrayal and infidelity trauma, the anxiety, the obsessive thoughts, the hopelessness, the inability to move forward, is connected to one thing. 

I am introducing the image that is going to carry us through this entire series:

the crown, a biblical and spiritual reality about who you actually are as a daughter of the King.

Drawing on Romans 8:16-17 and Ephesians 1 you will learn five truths about your identity that betrayal and infidelity cannot touch:

You are chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, and sealed. 

This is Week 1 of our identity series. Everything starts here with remembering what you are actually wearing. Your true identity that never got lost. 

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

Contact → [email protected]

Next Steps:

Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical tools straight to your inbox → Subscribe to my weekly Heart Work Love Letter

Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question

Step 3: HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***NOW OPEN***

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Does one frightening thought quickly turn into ten and leave you imagining the worst-case scenario?

Do spiraling thoughts after betrayal or infidelity make it difficult to sleep, eat, breathe deeply, or stay present?

Do you know you need to “take your thoughts captive,” but struggle to recognize the thought that started the spiral?

In this Monday Heart Check, I’m sharing one simple practice to help you begin noticing your spiraling thoughts before they take over your body and imagination.

Building on my conversation with my brother in Episode 55, we’ll practice getting out of the hamster wheel by learning to catch, trace, and notice your thoughts.

You’ll learn how to:

You cannot take a thought captive if you have never noticed it. This gentle practice will help you begin creating awareness, without judging yourself, forcing the thought away, or trying to solve everything at once.

When you notice yourself spiraling, write down these four sentences:

Contact → [email protected]

Next Steps:

Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical tools straight to your inbox → Subscribe to my weekly Heart Work Love Letter

Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question

Step 3: HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***NOW OPEN***

This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

Are you finding yourself feeling stuck trying to rebuild trust with your spouse and wondering why nothing seems to produce the lasting change you are longing for?

Do you find yourself so triggered in certain moments that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore and then feeling ashamed or guilty why you cannot hold it together or why you are not further along?

Are you stuck in your head, thoughts going around and around like a hamster wheel, putting in what feels like so much effort but not getting anywhere and longing for someone to tell you there is actually a way out of this?

This is Part 2 of a practical and very encouraging conversation with my brother, a licensed marriage and family therapist. During it, I ask him three more questions most women have who are recovering from broken trust. Today you will learn about:

This is Part 2 of a two part conversation. If you have not yet listened to Episode 53, Part 1, go back and start there first.

RESOURCES AND LINKS MENTIONED

CONNECT WITH JULIA AND NEXT STEPS

Contact → [email protected]

Next Steps:

Step 1: Sign up to receive weekly encouragement and practical tools straight to your inbox → Subscribe to my weekly Heart Work Love Letter

Step 2: Have a question or topic idea? → Ask me a question

Step 3: HEART WORK HEALING CIRCLE ***ALMOST OPEN***

A private healing community for women doing the hard holy work of rebuilding after betrayal in their marriage. Get on the waitlist now  to → Join the Heart Work Healing Circle

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational and encouragement purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. If you are in crisis please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.