Heartfelt Marriage

Even the best marriages have problems, and the most loving couples sometimes suffer discord.

Why are some marriage relationship dilemmas so unsolvable? Why do some marriages get sick stay sick and never heal? In this Podcast, Dr. Ross discusses some of the reasons and offers hope for every marriage!

He believes that when both of you decide to do what is necessary to stop the hurting behavior that makes your marriage sick and start the healing behavior that makes your marriage healthy you both are blessed with a deep sense of joy, peace, and love.

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

Healthy marriage: seeks wisdom

Hurting marriage: favors folly

One sign of an unhappy marriage is a long list of bad choices. Wisdom knows the difference between right and wrong; folly doesn't care. Wisdom knows when a choice is good or bad, folly figures you can clean up the mess later. Wisdom knows the dramatic difference between truth and delusion; folly rather enjoys the ignorance.

You don't want to be famous for your folly. You want to make good choices, create a healthy happy household, understand the deep wants and needs of those you love the most. You want insight into each soul, astuteness in each decision, and unconditional love to be given and received within your marriage.

In this podcast, Dr. Ross helps you create a marriage marked by wisdom - by good choices and fewer missteps.

The podcast is less than 9 minutes.

Husbands make mistakes - so do wives; this means both must become skilled forgivers.

The question isn't whether or not you or your mate will screw up something important; the question is what happens after the mess is made?

Will you forgive or will you live in resentment?

In this Podcast, Dr. Ross says, "The place to start is in your heart. Not in your mate's heart, in your heart. You can do very little to make your mate do anything, but you can control yourself. Begin by forgiving your mate for the wrong committed."

Dr. Ross adds three warnings about forgiveness followed by some practical help when YOU are the one who made the mistake, and what to do about it.

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

"I just want a little peace and quiet!" screamed a young mother. The problem is, children take time to grow up. Not only that, relationships take time to mature, troubles take time to resolve, and opportunities take time to develop.

Life never moves at the pace we prefer. Sometimes it moves so slowly we think time has stopped. Then next week or next month or next year, it moves so fast we spin out of control. "What is going on?" we cry. "Why can't things happen as I want them to?"

We need patience. Don't you just hate that word? Who wants to be told to "hold your horses," or "wait your turn," or "don't be in such a hurry!"

However, you've probably noticed, in marriage, patience is required. That's what Dr. Ross talks about in this podcast. Marriage, says Dr. Ross, is the one relationship that takes more time to mature than all others.

When it does mature, sweet it is; how together you feel; how at home you want to be. Have patience: He will become the husband you've always wanted. She will become the wife who meets all your needs.

What Do You Expect?

Healthy marriage: expects success

Hurting marriage: assumes failure

Podcast 052

By Ron Ross

The Law of Expectations states that our imaginations, thoughts, and emotions, whether positive or negative, have a powerful influence on our mind-body connection and impact the people around us and the events of our daily lives. Stated simply: What you expect to happen usually happens. Expect to succeed, and you succeed; expect to fail, and you fail. The Law doesn't care whether you expect good or bad, it works either way to increase the odds that you will get what you expect.

In this podcast, Dr. Ross applies the Law of Expectations to marriage. He asks, "How long do you expect to be married to your spouse? If you both answer, a lifetime, you will likely one day celebrate your 50th wedding anniversary." On the other hand, he points out if you think, "my parents divorced, my mate's parents divorced, I wouldn't be surprised if we too drifted apart," you will likely end up in divorce court because the law does not care.

Dr. Ross gives you some practical ways to use the Law of Expectations to improve the connection you have with your mate, children and all the people around you. He says, "Since the Law works, you might as well use it to YOUR advantage and improve the quality of your daily life."

This podcast is very practical and worthy of your close attention. It's is 10 minutes long.

"Why is it always my fault when something goes wrong?"

Blaming in marriage is a dangerous and love-snuffing game. It is a difficult behavior to deal with because every spat quickly turns into a debate about who did what and why and whose fault it was.

When blame is the name of the game, there is seldom a time, place or desire to face the reality of the situation and seek a long-lasting solution.

Blame your mate, and you will never solve a problem or strengthen your marriage. You will, however, increase your chances of spending an inordinate amount of money on a divorce attorney who will exploit your "irreconcilable differences." You don't want that to happen.

Whenever you make a mistake you have two choices: admit or blame. For some reason, it's easy to blame others and darn hard to declare, "I screwed up! It's my fault, I apologize."

In this Podcast, Dr. Ross provides you with six components of a sincere apology - listen to them, write them down, and employ them so your marriage will be kind, resilient, and loving.

The Podcast is 9 minutes long.

Married couples can easily suffer from the debilitating "do-it-yourself" disease. Some couples are convinced their relationship will someway, someday, get better even if no one takes any initiative to change.

In this podcast, Dr. Ross gives five reasons a married couple might hesitate to seek help. Then he gives five reasons that demonstrate the same couple is ready to ask for help.

It's possible Dr. Ross mentioned you (not by name) in this podcast, so take 9 minutes and listen. Maybe, just maybe, you need to ask for some help.

If I asked you to describe the changes you have endured (or celebrated) over the years of your marriage, you would have a variety of stories to tell – some good – some bad – most, inevitable. Everyone does.

In this podcast, Dr. Ross reminds you that when change happens, you have two choices: to look backward or to look forward.

When you look back, you focus on what went wrong. When you look forward envision what you can do right. The past contains pain and regret. The future contains options and hope.

It's OK to look back, but don't look long. Instead, look forward; look longingly forward. What do you want your marriage to be? What do you want your children to become? Where do you want to go in life? What has God placed in your heart as your mission to make this world a little better?

The podcast is 10 min. long.

The easiest thing to do on earth is to whine, complain, and make excuses. Most complaints start with, “Why do you always …” or “Why can’t you ever …” or “You drive me crazy every time you …” And it can quickly get real nasty.

What good does it do to moan and make excuses? Not much. Misery is the only consequence of whining and complaining.

In this podcast, Dr. Ross says, “The day you become a problem solver is the day you become an adult. Three-year-olds whine and make excuses. Adults see problems and solve them.”

 A healthy marriage seeks solutions to problems while a hurting marriage whines and makes excuses. Which do you have? Which do you want?

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

An over-expressed ego within marriage is toxic and can be fatal to your relationship. If one of you thinks the whole world revolves around you, if you think you know everything and understand everything and the other mate is unworthy or uninformed, the relationship is a long way from WE. The poison of ego starts its lethal attack on the marriage.

In this 10-minute podcast, Dr. Ross gives you three “acts of love” that will help deal with your own ego and then go from “ME” to “WE” in your marriage.

Dr. Ross says, “It’s this simple, a couple that focuses on becoming one is happier, wealthier and healthier. I can tell you from personal experience; it’s worth the effort to move from ME to WE.”