Heartfelt Marriage

Family is the worst and best thing on earth. Family is the happiest and the saddest place you can be. Family is the sweetest and sourest bunch of people you’ve ever met. Family is rich and poor, strong and weak, heaven and hell.

No matter what your family is like, it is worth every ounce of positive energy you can muster to make it good, make it safe, and make it happy. So, give it your all – a bucket of forgiveness, a truck-load of patience, and a train-load of love. Why? Because your family is worth it and sometimes, all you have is family.

How to create a family that works together, plays together, and stays together is the subject of this podcast. Dr. Ross presents Three Ways to Actualize Family Unity.

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

Marriage counselors agree that if your spouse is your only friend, then your marriage may be fragile. Why? Because a good friend helps you survive the stress of married life. A good friend helps you live out a healthy and till-death-us-do-part kind of marriage.

Do you have a positive, life-blessing friend outside of your home? If you do, then you already know how valuable – even indispensable a good friend can be!

In this podcast, Dr. Ross takes a good look at what a good friend does and how important they are for a happy and healthy marriage.

The podcast is less than 9 minutes long.

Have noticed that bored people seem to create the most drama – and it’s the nasty, negative tragic spectacle kind of drama that damages rather than entertains?

Boredom in marriage inevitable. How do you solve it? With a little adventure! Adventure stirs up excitement and renews and strengthens the connections between husband and wife.

In this Podcast, Dr. Ross shares five good reasons a little adventure (and sometimes a big adventure) is good for your marriage. He knows something about adventure in marriage as he and his wife spent several years living in Africa. He gives several examples of adventures from his five-decade marriage. The adventures you and your mate can enjoy do not have to be expensive, elaborate, or dangerous.

This podcast reminds you to watch for signs of boredom in your marriage and recharge your relationship with a little adventure. Start by making sure you are not a boring person. Be interesting, be fun to be with, be adventuresome, and you will take your marriage from marginal to marvelous. Listen to the podcast now!

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

Which works best for you – a big deal honeymoon-like trip once every two or three years OR frequent delightful every-day expressions of admiration, appreciation, and love?

Dr. Ross believes that most husbands and wives know that big deal events are exciting and memorable, but not nearly as important as the little daily things you do to bless your mate.

The most successful basketball coach in history, John Wooden, was probably referring to basketball when he said, “It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” However, in this podcast, Dr. Ross applies Coach Wooden’s words to marriage.

Listen to his list of eight little things you can do to move your marriage from marginal to marvelous. He says, “If you want to create a big, beautiful marriage, start with the little, lovely, everyday things you can do along the way.”

Money issues are responsible for 22% of all divorces, making it the third leading cause of divorce, According to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysis.

Are your finances marginal or marvelous? How do you talk to each other about money issues? Is it a fight where you blame each other for the high credit card debt, insufficient income, or money spent on hobbies? Or is it a problem solving, relationship building, home-strengthening dialog?

In this podcast, Dr. Ross offers some common-sense suggestions to help you decrease the fussing about finances and increase the favor of a financially well-managed household.

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

Besides, “I love you,” the greatest message you can give to your mate is, “We’re in this together no matter what.” That kind of declaration, that kind of commitment, gets you away from blaming, or arguing, or neglecting, or ever running away when things go bad.

If your family hasn’t been thrown off balance by tragedy, mistakes, or misfortune, watch out. It’s likely to happen in one way or another, today or tomorrow … ready or not.  For some, it will ruin their marriage. For others, it will cause long-term pain and sorrow. For some, it brings unforeseen opportunities.

How do you get past the inevitable events of life that knock you off balance? In this podcast, Dr. Ross gives you four positive healing reactions that will help you survive the losses and sorrows your marriage is bound to face.

Wherever happens in life, make sure that you and your mate are in it together. When both of you commit to having a mutually satisfying, emotionally healthy ‘til death do us part kind of marriage, even when things go terribly wrong, you can take your marriage from marginal to marvelous.

When you got married, both of you had preconceived ideas about how you would act and what you would do around the house. In most cases, the wife learns how to be a wife and mother by watching her mother, and the husband learns how to be a husband and dad by watching his father. The problems come when the perceived role relationships differ between husband and wife.

Think about your parents and the roles they fulfilled while you were growing up. Compare them to the roles of your mate’s parents. How do they differ? How are they similar? Is there a clear differentiation between their roles, or could they move into and out of roles as times and circumstances changed? What did they do to make family life pleasant? What did they do to make family life dreary?

In this podcast, Dr. Ross points out that everyone in your home has a role to play, and those roles are not narrowly defined in western society. Men can do women’s work, and women can do men’s work. This way of operating a family is fraught with both great opportunities and unpleasant obstacles.

How you and your mate structure the roles and responsibilities of your marriage will determine the happiness and efficiency of your household.

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

Your marriage will go from marginal to marvelous if you do this for your mate: make your home a place of refuge, your relationship a place of trust, and your little kingdom a place of protection and hope.

There are all kinds of storms out there – some caused by the weather, some caused by circumstances, and some caused by the people we live with. We want to feel safe and secure from all of the storms of life, and the most important place where we expect safety and security is the home.

In this podcast, Dr. Ross calls every member of your family to do everything you can to make your home a place of refuge. He says, “When you come home at night, your heart should know that as you enter your driveway that once you get inside, everything is going to be alright. That someone will greet you with loving words, gentle touches, and full acceptance no matter the storms you’ve encountered throughout the day.”

Agree? Of course, you do – so take a few minutes with your mate and listen to this podcast. It’s only 9 minutes long.

Two quotes that apply to your marriage and to this podcast:

“Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love.” – Billy Graham

“Love begins by taking care of the closest ones – the ones at home.” – Mother Teresa

The word harmony has a variety of meanings. For many, harmony refers to music - a word that refers to notes of instruments and the sounds of voices blended for music that is pleasing to the ear. In the dictionary, the musical meanings of harmony are second to its reference to human relations – to agreement, cooperation, and tranquility.

Apply those three words to your marriage: agreement, cooperation, and tranquility. Sound good to you too? Then listen to this podcast for Dr. Ross’s list of things married couples do to live in agreement, cooperation, and tranquility!

In podcast # 67, Dr. Ross gave two of the three purposeful acts you take so you can have a marriage marked by harmony, beautiful proportion, and balance (he calls it emotional symmetry). The first purposeful act you take is to Treat each other equally. The second purposeful act you can take to create harmony, beautiful proportion and balance in your marriage is to Express emotions proportionately. In this podcast, purposeful act #3, is – Practice interpersonal harmony.

The podcast is 9 minutes long.

Wouldn’t you love to hear someone describe your marriage as one of harmony, beautiful proportion, and balance? “Well, duh!” I can hear you say. “Of course, but how can we get it

In this podcast, Dr. Ross assumes you and your mate really really really would like to have a marriage relationship marked by harmony, beautiful proportion, and balance. Since that’s what you want, he wonders, what would it take to get it?

You already know this: that kind of a marriage does not happen accidentally, it happens on purpose. In this Podcast Dr. Ross suggests three purposeful acts each of you can take that will move you toward a marriage marked by harmony, beautiful proportion, and balance.

The podcast is only 9 minutes long.