We take a break from the advice this week and instead let you into our game design workshop, thrashing out ideas for one-page RPGs coming from prompts sent in by YOU, the listener. Featuring: Enter the Dagon, Butter Spy, Fake Sailor, Scream If You Want To Get Vaster, GURPS, and more.

Keep an eye out for a subsequent podcast in which we fully design the winner, Jason Statham's Big Vacation - a game in which you must make sure that the muscly movie star doesn't get too sad, bored, arrested or dead to enjoy his holiday.

We love you,

- Grant & Chris

We're back, baby! Check us out! Woo! (We took three weeks off.) Anyway, on this week's episode:

- Octopus beaks, and why are they, and can we stop them

- Cheating at roleplaying games, and can we stop it

- Writing 6th Edition D&D, apparently

- Grant's problem that he has with drinking that we sure hope isn't a "drinking problem," if you get us

- Sun vs Moon

- Chekhov's +5 Sword

And many more! It feels good to be back. We love you. Hop on our knee and tell us what you want for Christmas.

- Grant and Chris

Giraffes: what a bunch of bastards. Look at them, walking around with those necks and those spots, eating all the good leaves on the tops of trees. Listen - don't stand for that shit any more. Go out onto the veldt and destroy them. We'll teach you how. Never lost another fight with a giraffe.

We love you,

- Grant and Chris

You get this week's episode a whole three days early! Don't eat it all in one go. Space it out. Coming up:

- Dickery

- Biscuits

- Hitpoints

- Weddings

- Bad guys

And more! We love you.

- G+C

DING DING DING! It's the podcast bell! Come along, children, gather round the fire for a hot steaming bowl of podcast. Eat up! In this week's episode:

- Druid sex?

- What do our families think about our jobs?

- Can we get rid of magic?

- Dog-based RPG systems?

- The Elevator Game?

And many more!

- Grant and Chris

Can you hear that? Bursting wet from the edge of forever? Cruising greasy and unclean over the crest of eternity? Roaring fierce and with many voices, a chorus of nightmares? It is: the Vengabus. It is the herald of Never, and it will be our doom.

Much love,

- Grant and Chris

We hired Carnegie Hall! We can barely believe it either. It might sound like we're recording it in our houses, like we normally do, and I just patched in unconvincing sound effects after the fact, but: shut up.

In this episode: Fabulous special guest interviews! And: What happens after D&D? How do you build a homebrew setting? Holding onto butts? Romance? And many more?

We love you. Thank you for helping us get this far.

- G

Steven Segal is a majestic, unstoppable force of nature, like an iceberg or an old hoary buffalo or a huge fart, and we really hope he doesn't sue us when we take this thing to Kickstarter.

We love you (Steven),

- G + C

Hi, I'm Dick Biscuits, and I'm here to talk to you about burlesque safety. Did you know what over twenty performers a year are killed from glitter inhalation? Glitter, or as I call it, "The Silent Killer," is one of the most dangerous substances in the world today, and still sales of it go unchecked and unregulated. Please sign my petition. Please. I live in the back of a shop. You have to help me.

Listen: all werewolves are masochists. Or: all werewolves are boyfriends. Anyway, one way or another, your werewolf boyfriend is into some real weird shit.

We had some audio issues with this episode, mainly: Grant recorded his half of the show using a shoe, apparently? So he has awful audio this episode, and we're sorry about that. We beg for your forgiveness.

Much love,

- G + C