Heauxly Coitus

**This episode contains themes (abuse, assault, suicide, trauma) that may be triggering to sensitive ears and hearts. If you’re in crisis, contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK) | website Deaf, hard of hearing TTY and chat options hereEn Español, call 1-888-628-9454… Crisis Text Line | Text HOME to 741-741 | website **

I am Phoenix Rising and I am a purity culture survivor. After surviving abuse from my biological family and the church, I left to find my own truths about life starting with who I am. I have learned and accepted myself as pansexual. Even though I identify as asexual as well due to sexual abuse, I find with the right partner I enjoy sex - yes, outside of marriage - and it's awesome! Feel free to reach out if you have questions or find yourself in situations like me - @phoenix.rising22 on Instagram.

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I chose a Phoenix because it represents my transition from my past life in purity culture to making my own core values and choices when it comes to sex and relationships.

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To me a heaux is anyone who lives their own choices and freedoms in the ways of sex and/or relationships. A heaux is a beauty beyond "traditional" relationship expectations.

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: https://heauxlycoitus.square.site

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~ Ms. HC

A Heaux Abroad: Taking a Break from the Heaux Life

Have you ever felt like you needed a break from the heaux life? Today Jalila and I talked about being a heaux abroad and what happens when you need to take a break from the heaux life because something has gone wrong. Jalila is an American expat living in Shanghai, yes, Shanghai lockdown, you’ve been glued to your social media feeds I’m sure, but I they should be free now. Jalila moved abroad to Beijing China September 2019 and after working for one year in Beijing for Disney English, she relocated to Shanghai after Disney English shut down due to Covid-19.

In America she had stable intimate relationships but in China she hasn’t experienced that. Jalila was content enough being a heaux and embracing her sexuality but had two different experiences where the a man she was seeing stated the intention of wanting a relationship, but whose actions were opposite. After the second experience Jalila decided was hurt and would ghost men after a liaison. Recently Jaila took a break when her last intimate partner reached out and asked what he had done to be treated that way and liked her. Jalila realized that she had no reason, but needed to reevaluate what she wanted from her heaux experience and has taken a break from dating.

Jalila believes it’s important for me to be happy in doing whatever she’s doing and not hurt others and not get hurt as well. She was unhappy in her career in America and found teaching English abroad, and now unhappy in how her heaux experience was going, she’s found more happiness in taking care of her own heaux needs on her own. Jalila does wonder about possibly entering into a polyamory relationship once she back from self-imposed hiatus, because she knows that she wants the warmth that a stable consistent relationship brings but also needs the fire that the spice and variety of different partners provides as well.

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

Hello! I’m Angela. I’m an everyday 30 year old living on this rock like the rest of you. I have deep southern “geechee” roots but Atlanta will always be home to me. I hope to inspire new moms who are trying to find themselves after going through tumultuous transitions. Sex has always been an ongoing battle for me, but I’m proud I was able to save myself and loving how liberated I feel because of it. I’m happy to share my story and hope you find the courage to continue and rewrite your own.

A “heaux” to me is someone who knows themselves very well and that’s powerful. You can do and be anything or one with the right amount of confidence.

Reach me on IG directly @annie_schmannie

Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

This picture (check out IG!!) means a lot to me because I’m proud of the man I have became and I can show off my chest if I want to. Talk about freedom!

A heaux in my opinion would be a sexually free woman so I’ll leave it to the women to make comments on that one haha.

King Aiden is an independent American actor, musician and singer-songwriter. Sent to artist development at The Abbott Agency in Nashville by Terry Watson from Warner Music Group. Aiden has worked with artists and producers such as XanTheArtist, Ian Keaggy, Terry Watson, Ryan Cassata, Robert Marvin, David Mullen and TobyMac. He appeared in one of TobyMacs’ music videos with 29+ million views so far. Aiden also landed a role on the show “Nashville” from ABC. Nowadays, King Aiden has found himself a lane in the hip hop and RnB genres and some pop.


All social media: @onlykingaiden

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

Follow @BlackSheepBios on Instagram to learn more about Deconstructing religion, faith, spirituality, and all things purity culture!

A Heaux Is someone who embraces their sexual autonomy, and as long as it remains consensual and causes no harm, doesn't allow religion to dictate what they do with and think about their body. ~ Black Sheep Bios

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I don’t normally do show notes, but BSB was super organized and I want to acknowledge her preparation! See below for our talking points.

1) My Purity Culture Experience

- Purity Ring

-Youth Group

-"Messing up" and enjoying a redemptive testimony

-Conditional love from friends/family, being threatened

-Leaning into purity culture and being shocked it wasn't all it promised

2) How Purity Culture messed up my Sexuality

-When i had sex, i didn't do so safely (if you bring protection... that makes it a premeditated sin lol)

-Sex was always intense, passionate, hard, fast, "naughty"... because it was sin. So if I wanted to do it... I had to really lean into that. Unfortunately I'm STILL learning how to embrace the soft, slow, passive, safe, intimate side of it. 

-Sex was a power trip for me. As a woman who had grown up absolutely stifled by misogyny it felt wildly powerful to feel really in control of a man.

- I didn't truly embrace and accept guilt-free sex until after I was already in a healthy, committed hetero marriage

3) Deconstruction & Black Sheep Bio's 8 points of "Purity Culture: Fallout"

1. Lasting Shame

2. The Pressure to Perform

3. Unrealistic Romantic Expectations

4. Body Dysmorphia

5. Self- Gaslighting

6. Emotional Disappointment

7. Feelings of Spiritual Inadequacy

8. Unhealthy Sexual Identity

Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

Tia Jones is a trauma survivor and trauma-informed self-trust coach for BIPOC women and femme cycle-breakers. She’s obsessed with helping you be your own cheerleader while pursuing a life you love with more grace, gentleness, and fun! Generational trauma healing is hard. It’s Tia’s mission to help you inject some loving lightheartedness along the way. 

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A heaux is someone who confidently takes ownership of their pleasure and understands its not a gift that only other people can give, its something they can give themselves. ~Tia

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This picture (check out IG or HC’s website) perfectly encapsulates my view of my body because I accept me as I am. Fatness and all. 

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~ Jenaya

ister Shannon is an ExCatholic coach, helping people raised in Catholicism or impacted by its teachings reclaim the inherent GOODNESS of their bodies and step into their sexual power. IG:@sister.shannon

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This is my regular day - because as I practice healthy sex and pleasure, I’ve built such reverence for my pleasure in EVERY moment that I now understand what looks luxurious, over-the-top, “too demanding” to some (I sit in a cafe like this almost every day), is actually my DESIRE. It’s just what I want. It’s just what makes me feel radiant, connected, part of something bigger than myself. (Check out the pics on IG @heauxlycoitus)

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When I grasped the immensity of the pleasure I was designed to experience, and cut out the church crap about desire being devilish, it became my CALL to experience as much pleasure as possible 👅😍

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A heaux is someone who realizes wild pleasure is available WITHIN their body…and goes chasing it with reckless consensual abandon 👅

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~ Jenaya

B is a 40 year old midwesterner finding his way out of the shame and fear of evangelicalism and purity culture in part by taking and sharing revealing, freeing selfies and self-portraits that are helping him move toward a new love for and confidence in his body. You can follow him on instagram at @happyinmyownskin.

“A heaux is someone who embraces, expresses and explores their desires.” ~B

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

.

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

My name is Treasure (she/her), I’m sunshine radiating as a Black Queer woman. I’m studying English Literature Online as I maneuver and create a new path of authenticity, free from religion, on the island of O’ahu Hawaii as a newish military spouse.

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It’s important for me to say that because I’m finally able to live the life I’ve always wanted, with freedom and privacy to dream and create. You’ll find my thoughts and writings @bodhi.curry & @freespace.diary.

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A Heaux is an individual who recognizes and lives in the awareness that sexuality is simply being human. They define their own paths through deliberate intention: “Yes I’m Heaux because I’m listening to what my body wants and we’re vibing, figuring it out together.”

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

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~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~

I’m @realahmadray on all social media platforms and Ahmad Ray on YouTube!

https://solo.to/realahmadray

“A heaux is knowing what you want, when you want it, how you want it, and enjoy it happening.”

LGBTQAI+ Resources https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JrYFefymLHtJncJi-Zo_H5QmHh_41o4cbLSjs38Us8g/edit

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Ms. Heauxly Coitus

@heauxlycoitus

💦For Heaux T-shirts and mugs and bags: http://jenaya-global.myshopify.com

💦Come share your heaux story on the pod! Be the next guest. Inbox me, Ms. Heauxly Coitus @heauxlycoitus

💦For pictures, past episodes, and stories: https://heauxlycoitus.home.blog

.

~To be a heaux is to engage in consensual sex, be kind your yourself and partner(s), creative, fully embodied, unapologetic, powerful, and free.~