HeightsCast: Forming Men Fully Alive

Missed Part I? Click here.

Continuing last week's conversation, in this episode Dr. Newport delves into two things that have become ubiquitous in our lives: texting and email. Whether it is logistical texts with our kids or emails for work, these two technologies can occupy a large portion of our days. Indeed, even a quick text or email can cost us time, as we shift our attention between different contexts.

While texting and email may by now feel like second nature, have we ever stopped to think about how best to use these technologies?

In addition to tackling these topics, Cal runs through three practices to help us better spend that treasure which is our time:

1. Practice solitude
2. Quit socials to foster authentic conversations
3. Reclaim true leisure

To close, Cal offers some words of wisdom to our graduating seniors, as they head off to college. If they can learn to use technology well, in an integrated and intentional way, they will be at a tremendous advantage. Their time will double, their focus sharpen, and--what is more--they'll form meaningful friendships along the way.

Show Highlights

• The necessity of times of solitude and self-reflection
• Why you should quit social media and become truly social
• Reclaim leisure to live more meaningful lives
• How to integrate texting into a purposeful life
• What psychology and brain science can teach about texting
• What the pandemic has shown us about the dual nature of technology
• The human brain is not a parallel processor and why this matters
• How companies can better use email to improve workflows
• The attention capital principle
• What graduating seniors can learn to make the most of technology in college--and beyond.

Suggested Reading

Leisure: The Basis of Culture

Digital Minimalism

A World Without Email

Additional Listening

Forming Deep Workers, Part I

Forming Deep Workers, Part II

For these next two episodes, we welcome back Dr. Cal Newport, professor of computer science at Georgetown University and New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including Digital Minimalism and A World Without Email.

In this week's episode, we will focus on the first of these two books, Digital Minimalism, and how to go about developing a deliberate and purposeful approach to our use of technology. And remember, our children are always watching and learning. In next week's episode, we'll dive into a specific application of this philosophy to email and texting as well.

But for now, Digital Minimalism. It has been said in other contexts that the choice is not between philosophy and no philosophy, but between good philosophy and bad philosophy; having no philosophy is itself a philosophy, albeit a disastrous one. The same holds true for our philosophy or approach to technology which, although often vital in the modern world, can be dangerous if used mindlessly.

In this episode:

Learn about the history and psychology of smartphones and social media. Listen to Cal discuss his philosophy of digital minimalism. Hear about the thirty day "digital declutter" and why you should try it for yourselves--maybe even this July? Gain some practical wisdom about implementing the philosophy in your homes including Cal's take on when our sons are ready for their first smart phone.

In all, Cal offers us a hopeful view for the future. With the shimmer of novelty beginning to fade, now is the time to think about how to integrate digital technology into our lives and into the lives of our children.

While summer is a time for rest and relaxation, it is also an opportunity for personal growth. Indeed, the increase in external freedom, which the summer months often afford our sons, provides an occasion for growth in interior freedom.

In this week's episode, Mr. Joe Cardenas, head of mentoring at The Heights School, discusses how you can help your son make the most of the summer months. To this end, Mr. Cardenas suggests looking at the summer from two perspectives: the bird's eye view and the daily routine. Looking over the summer as a whole--perhaps with a calendar in hand--we can help our sons set goals and make big-picture plans. But goals without effective systems are mere wishes, so we should also encourage our sons to develop a good daily routine that will help him to realize these goals.

In particular, Mr. Cardenas suggests five areas for routines:

1. Waking-up and going to bed
2. Reading
3. Life of prayer
4. Physical exercise
5. Acts of service

Of course, and as always, encouragement should come in the context of freedom and in an age appropriate manner; we want to help our sons set goals and formulate routines for themselves, not impose our own ideas in an overly rigid manner. One of the great advantages of the summer is, after all, the opportunity for our boys to grow in the use of their freedom.

Stay tuned after the podcast for a few other resources that might be helpful as you plan your summer, including a summer-planning guide PDF now available on The Heights Forum. You don't need to subscribe to anything to get it, we just want to help.

Also, join us for a follow-up Q&A webinar with Mr. Joe Cardenas and Mr. Bill Dardis (head of the Heights Internship Program). If you have questions about wake-up times, summer jobs, and chores, bring 'em by and we'll discuss. To register for the webinar, visit HeightsForum.org.

Show Highlights

-How summer can be a time of great personal growth

-Two perspectives on the summer: the birds eye view and the daily routine

-Ideas on helping your son make use of a calendar

-Why increased freedom during the summer is an opportunity for growth in virtue

-The importance of systems for success, not just goals

-Areas for daily routines: wake-up time, reading plan, life of prayer, physical exercise, service, bed-time

-How should parents discuss goals and routines with their son?

-Three ways to help your son develop a summer routine: know your son, engage his freedom, share your own goals

-Should my son get a job?

-Unstructured free time is just as important for older boys as it is for younger boys

-Why personal growth is ultimately oriented towards the service of others

Suggested Reading

Leisure: The Basis of Culture, Josef Pieper

Additional Listening

Three Components of a Great Lower School Summer

Systems for Athletic Success

Summer Reading with a Purpose

Heights Resources

Planning

Free Printable Summer Planner PDF

Fitness

Bodyweight Workout Plan

Reading

Heights Book Review (A review of contemporary literature for boys)

Heights Books (Books read for extra credit at The Heights)

Heights Summer Reading Books

What is present in every Platonic dialogue, the subject of one of Cicero's famous letters, and the kind of relationship Christ wished to have with his twelve apostles and with each of us? It is friendship.

From facebook friends to philosophic treaties, 70's songs to Tennyson poems, we hear about friendship in many different contexts. But what is authentic friendship? How do we foster it? How do we help our children grow in their friendships? And in the end, how do we help them grow in the friendship of all friendships, namely that with Our Lord?

In this week's podcast, David Maxham discusses such questions as these. Based on a talk he recently gave to our senior class, David considers the lofty ideal of friendship and offers practical advice on how to make this ideal a reality. He first discusses why senior year is a fitting time for our students to think more deeply about their relationships, and how a few good friends can make all the difference during their college years (and beyond). He then dives into the importance of admonition and sincerity in authentic friendships, offering insights on the art of amicable correction and the necessity of being vulnerable for forming friendships. Lastly, David turns his attention to how parents can help their children grown in their friendships. As is often the case, here there can be no substitute for practicing what one preaches and patiently preaching what one practices.

• Show Highlights Why senior year is a fitting moment to discuss friendship
• What is friendship?
• Life is a training ground for friendship and growing in love
• Is this lofty ideal practically possible?
• The demands of friendship
• Why one can only have a few good friends in life
• Admonishing our friends? How to correct with charity and tact
• Truth is the thing: the importance of sincerity in friendship
• How our friendships can help us be better friends of Our Lord
• The importance of patience You have to be a friend (for your children) to have a friend: why modeling good friendships is the best way to help your children grow in their own

Resources

Alasdair MacIntrye: True friendships are rare, but possible

Is Friendship Possible?

"We do not really want a religion that is right where we are right. What we want is a religion that is right where we are wrong. We do not want, as the newspapers say, a church that will move with the world. We want a church that will move the world."

― G. K. Chesterton, Charles Dickens: A Critical Study

Mr. de Vicente concludes this three part series on raising iGen. Given the forces and impact of our digital world and general culture, our headmaster presents considerations and strategies for parents seeking to accompany their sons on the path to Christian Manhood.

Mr. de Vicente continues his discussion of iGen, turning from the protecting, distracting, unsettling forces that have affected our sons to the impact of those forces on their character.

Our headmaster begins a three episode series on iGen. In today's episode, Mr. de Vicente explores the influences and forces that have overprotected, distracted, and unsettled our sons.

In this week's episode Mr. Michael Moynihan discusses an exercise that allows teachers to isolate the relativistic variable in the moral minds of their students. What is relativism? What is the exercise? And why does any of this matter to those of us just trying to live the good life–however you define that?

Mr. Moynihan's article available here.

Mr. Tom Royals, Assistant Headmaster of The Heights, offers his thoughts on the importance of hosting our sons and their friends at home. Rather than being a place to be avoided, the home should be a social hub and a place of gathering for our boys. This takes work and investment, but the effort is worth the while when friendships flourish and our sons develop relationships informed by the culture of the home.

• Know your boy; know yourself; don't stress. Anxiety is the number 1 enemy of education. Don't let it creep into your homeroom.
• Protect the process–don't worry so much about the product, and trust the system you put in place.
• As far as processes and systems go: keep it simple!

• Enjoy that flexibility while enjoying your schedule! There is no "right" way for every boy;
• But do set a schedule that is informed by your boy's natural strengths and rhythms;
• In the 6 part cocktail: 3 parts reading, 1 part math, 1 part grammar, 1 part... other things (writing practice, art, etc...):
• A second grader shouldn't be doing academic work for more than 3 hours a day, ideally broken into 30 minute chunks.
• The 3 parts reading (1 part read to himself; 1 part read to you; 1 part--the most important part--YOU read aloud to him)
• The Magic Tree House series is a great benchmark for the end of Second Grade–they should be able to read these to themselves and enjoy;
• The Saxon Math approach has worked well for The Heights and for its incoming students–3rd Graders begin with Saxon 5/4, so Saxon Math 3 would work beautifully for a rising Heights boy.
• Parents should not see home schooling as a means to "get their boys ahead"–there are pedagogical reasons for this (in addition to social/logistical).
• There is no need to start cursive before starting at The Heights–by the time our 3rd graders get to Christmas, we'll get them there. Consider refining manuscript and print; cursive could be helpful, but in general there is no need to rush this.
• Note, if you have given your sons enough time for free play, then they will want to be around you AND some of the things you do in the ordinary course of your day can be teaching without teaching.