Heroine

Majo joins Scout & Mady from the OkaySis Podcast to talk about how to break out of the good girl myths and design our purpose. 

Order the book at goodgirlmyth.com

Christine Gutierrez is a Latina licensed psychotherapist, life coach, and expert in love addiction, trauma, abuse, and self-esteem, and author of the book I Am Diosa: A Journey to Healing Deep, Loving Yourself, and Coming Back Home to Soul.

She has a bachelor’s degree from Fordham University in human behavior and development, and a master’s degree from City College of New York in mental health counseling with a focus on prevention and community.

In this episode, Christine covers a lot of ground, including what the soul is, what the return to soul looks like, what the common soul traps are – including being a good girl, how to get back in touch with your intuition, and why it is vital for us Diosas to rise up now. If you are still stuck wondering what is next in your life, this episode is not to be missed.

Show Notes

- Christine describes being a sensitive young girl who had a heart for the suffering of others.
- Hear about the dream analyses Christine’s mother and grandmother did with her as a girl.
- Learn what Christine means when she talks about our souls and connecting to the soul voice.
- Experiencing the sense that there is more to life than just what we see at the surface level.
- The loneliness that comes from being unusually aware of the spiritual dimension as a child.
- Christine talks about the childhood abuse and trauma that caused her ‘original wound’.
- When the first major shift happened and what she discovered about repetition compulsion.
- The importance of having compassion with yourself as you unpack the layers of trauma.
- Find out how you can avoid the ‘counterfeit gold’ soul traps on your journey to healing.
- How these counterfeits can function to sharpen our instincts and develop trust in ourselves.
- The problem of compromising your voice and truth for the sake of acceptance and belonging.
- Advice about beginning to come into alignment with yourself and what your gut is telling you.
- How to deal with your tendency to want to avoid getting still and confronting your feelings.
- The possibility of inhabiting both the mundane world and the realm of the soul as a creative.
- Why it is high time for the rise of leaders who are grounded in spirituality and the real world

References

Christine Gutierrez - https://www.christineg.tv/
Christine Gutierrez on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/cosmicchristine/
Christine Gutierrez on Twitter - https://twitter.com/CosmicChristine
I am Diosa - https://www.christineg.tv/eventsandretreats
Dr. Clarissa Pinkolo Estés - http://www.clarissapinkolaestes.com/
Women Who Run with the Wolves - http://www.clarissapinkolaestes.com/women_who_run_with_the_wolves__myths_and_stories_of_the_wild_woman_archetype_101250.htm
Break the Good Girl Myth - https://majomolfino.com/book
Majo Molfino - https://majomolfino.com/
HEROINE (Podcast) - https://majomolfino.com/podcast

This week I’m thrilled to speak with a woman whose work I’ve followed for years.

Martha Beck, PhD, is a New York Times bestselling author, life coach, speaker, and holds three degrees from Harvard University. Oprah calls her “one of the smartest women I know.” Martha walked away from the religious Mormon community she was raised in, exposed her father, and wrote about the dark secrets and hypocrisy of the Mormon church in her book Leaving the Saints. She received backlash from the church, but in the process, found her true, whole self.

In this episode, Martha and I discuss why the intellect is important, but a deeper connection to nature and with our own souls is what the world truly needs. You’ll learn how breaking away from cultural rules brings us into alignment with our true selves, and we become whole, healthy, connected individuals full of integrity.

This is a beautiful conversation heroine, one of the top interviews in all my years of doing the show.

Show Notes

- Martha on being raised as Mormon royalty due to his father’s “scholarly” work.
- Discovering the hypocrisy surrounding certain religious people, including her father.
- The intense experience of leaving the church and, with that, her family, friends, and culture.
- How she got the courage to confront the deep religious conditioning she grew up in.
- The crossroads experience of her pregnancy with her Down’s syndrome boy, Adam.
- Hear why Martha felt like she needed to unlearn everything that she was taught at Harvard.
- Why caring for a fragile life is the most-needed skill in the world right now.
- The restrictive good girl archetype as a socially constructed self for many women.
- Distinguishing between the essential self that is natural and the social self that is cultural.
- The split that happens when people believe things that are contrary to their essential self.
- Understanding that finding and claiming your true nature does not come without opposition.
- Withstanding backlash, the role of shame, and grieving the loss of cultural connection.
- Why, for Martha, life coaching is such a powerful, necessary tool for society.
- What the flip side of the Drama Triangle means for persecutors, victims, and rescuers.
- How wayfinding can help us discover our deeper purpose and navigate through the chaos.
- Find out how existing in alignment with your true nature brings you closer to the supernatural.
- The magic of the written word when we write from a powerful connection to truth.

References

Martha Beck - https://marthabeck.com/
Martha Beck on Twitter - https://twitter.com/marthabeck/
Diana, Herself: An Allegory of Awakening - https://www.amazon.com/Diana-Herself-Awakening-Bewilderment-Chronicles/dp/1944264000
Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith USA Today - https://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Saints-Mormons-Found-Faith/dp/0307335992
NPR - https://www.npr.org/
Oprah - http://www.oprah.com/index.html
Esther Perel - https://www.estherperel.com/
David Emerald - https://powerofted.com/about-david/
Stanford University - https://www.stanford.edu/
Harvard University - https://www.harvard.edu/
J.K. Rowling - https://www.jkrowling.com/

Do you wrestle with the power your thoughts have over your beliefs about yourself and your life? This episode is for you, heroine.

Bestselling author and founder of The Work, my guest Byron Katie shares her experience waking up in a state of joy after a decade-long spiral into depression, rage, and self-loathing. This state of joy hasn’t left her since, and Byron has shared this transformational practice with others for over 30 years. The Work is a simple, yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches us to identify and question the thoughts that cause us suffering.

In this episode, Byron and I discuss her battle with depression, and the moment of her awakening (which she credits to a cockroach). She explains the principles of The Work, and the four key questions we need to ask in order to change our beliefs. This episode is filled with practical, simple steps to help you become more conscious of your thoughts and free yourself from suffering. If you feel stuck in your beliefs – about your identity, your work, or your relationships – by the end of this episode, you’ll see a way out by going inward.

Show Notes

- Byron’s childhood as a quiet, solitary young girl
- Her decade-long experience with depression in her thirties
- Byron re-lives the moment of awakening that pivoted her entire life trajectory
- How The Work was born
- Find out why Byron gives all the credit for her moment of awakening to a cockroach
- The types of thoughts that hold us back and the four questions we need to ask them
- The importance of uncovering the cause and the reaction to the thoughts we believe
- Why intelligence is questioning and freedom is choosing the thoughts we believe
- The difference between sitting in the “I know” mind as apposed the “curious” mind

References

Byron Katie - The Work - https://thework.com/
Byron Katie on Twitter - https://twitter.com/ByronKatie
Byron Katie on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/byron.katie/
Byron Katie on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/theworkofbyronkatie
A Mind at Home with Itself - https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Home-Itself-Asking-Questions/dp/0062651609
Loving What Is - Four Questions That Can Change Your Life - https://www.amazon.com/Loving-What-Four-Questions-Change/dp/1400045371/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=loving+what+is&qid=1598781393&sr=8-1
A Thousand Names for Joy - https://www.amazon.com/Thousand-Names-Joy-Living-Harmony/dp/0307339246

In the world of productivity hacking and self-help, Gretchen Rubin needs little introduction. She’s a nationally acclaimed author who writes popular books about habit change and happiness. In fact, her books have sold millions and have been on the New York Times best seller list numerous times.
Gretchen draws from cutting edge research, tried and true wisdom and her own life experience, but she also isn’t afraid to admit that she herself is not an expert. She’s not a scientist, but she writes about topics that have a scientific edge. She has become one of the country’s top thinkers on happiness and human nature.
We cover a lot of ground in this interview, and talk discuss her framework The Four Tendencies because of how much it impacted me. It’s about how people respond to expectations. In this episode, you’ll learn why self-knowledge is the key to a better life, and how knowing your tendency can revolutionize the way you work and live.
You’ll love this episode, heroine, it’s a great one.

My guest on this week’s episode, Shan Boodram, isn’t afraid to talk about sex. Shan’s a Canadian born, LA based dating coach, author and certified sex educator. Her first book was a bestseller and her new book, “The Game Of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance and Getting What You Want” is even more popular.

She’s the most sought-after sex educator online today, educating you about sex toys on Playboy’s Instagram, and also on the reality TV show Too Hot to Handle, where she teaches contestants a yoni puja – a sacred ritual which involves worshipping your own pussy. Go Shan.

With her down-to-earth style and openness, Shan discusses the importance of engaging with your own sexuality. She shares how focusing on this intimate part of yourself leads to more joy, purpose, and pleasure in all areas of your life.

Show Notes

- Shan’s fascination with the human body from a young age
- How our family’s perspectives inform how we learn about sex
- How Shan realized what she really wanted to do
- Laid, her first book, published in 2009, when she was 24 years old
- Shan’s philosophy on sex education
- Shan turns the tables on Majo, asking about her experiences
- The reality check Shan experienced after the release of her first book
- The opportunity that prompted her decision to move to the US
- Low lights and high lights from her experience in LA
- The wager she made with herself that changed her course
- Her journey of healing after ending her toxic relationship
- How engaging in sexuality can engage your whole self

References

Shan Boodram - https://www.shanboodram.com/
Shan Boodram on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shanboody
Shan Boodram on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR1aFO8kPS2WgdOfvU0zpag
Shan Boodram on Quibi - https://quibi.com/shows/sexology-with-shan-593/
Laid: Young People's Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture - https://www.amazon.com/Laid-Peoples-Experiences-Easy-Access-Culture-ebook/dp/B0097CYXT6
The Game Of Desire: 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance and Getting What You Want - https://thegameofdesire.com/
Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality - http://www.iasscs.org/
Majo Molfino - https://majomolfino.com/
Break the Good Girl Myth - http://goodgirlmyth.com/

On this week’s episode, I talk with fellow recovering good girl, Monica Padman.

Monica, an actress and podcast producer, hustled her way into acting and co-leading one of the most downloaded podcasts today, Armchair Expert. She double majored in theatre and PR at the University of Georgia and then moved to LA to pursue her dreams of acting. She’s appeared in several TV shows, such as The Good Place, and Drop Dead Diva, and performed a role specifically written for her in the 2017 movie, CHIPS. Armchair Expert, the podcast she co-hosts with Dax Shepard, started off as something they did for fun, and has now exploded into one of the most downloaded podcasts. The duo have interviewed musicians, entertainers, writers, doctors, and psychologists including Alicia Keys, Brené Brown, Monica Lewinsky, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Emilia Clarke.

In this episode, Monica shares how she met Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell. She talks about the familial relationship she’s built with them, and how that relationship influenced her path. You’ll also hear about the parts of herself she kept hidden in order to fit in as a good girl, which are now the parts she’s reclaiming for herself. Monica’s story shows that you can do whatever it takes to create your dreams, while staying authentic.

Show Notes

- Monica’s childhood as a careful, shy, rule follower
- The early influences that fueled her love for acting
- Her experience with being a good girl and her need to fit in during school
- Monica’s relationship to her Indian culture growing up in the South
- How she dealt with the uncertainty of making the leap into a full-time acting career
- The importance of community and relationship
- Ensuring she built out other areas of her life so that acting wasn’t the only focus for her
- How she built a close, family type relationship with Kristin Bell and Dax Shepard
- The inspiration for the Armchair Expert podcast
- The role Monica plays with Armchair Expert, and how she feels about it

References

Monica Padman on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mlpadman
Armchair Expert podcast - https://armchairexpertpod.com/
Armchair Expert on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/armchairexppod/
The Best Little Boy in the World - https://www.amazon.com/Best-Little-Boy-World-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B0042JSNYU
Serial podcast - https://serialpodcast.org/
CHIPS - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493405/fullcredits/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm
Making Sense podcast - https://samharris.org/podcast/

Do you ever feel like you don’t fit in, that you’re somehow different from everyone else, or maybe even, that you don’t belong? This week I sit down with Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the co-founders of Almost 30, the top-rated LA-based lifestyle podcast. After meeting in SoulCycle, the two became best friends and soon realized they shared a desire to explore the theme of belonging, both to yourself and others. Almost 30 was born out of these conversations, and while not their original intention, it’s now grown into a full-time business, brand, and community.

In our conversation, Krista and Lindsey discuss creating for the pure love of creating, and how money, validation, and recognition fall into line once you’re doing what you love. They share what they’ve discovered about themselves and their relationships as they turned their podcast into a business. Krista and Lindsey show us how to speak your truth with compassion and trust yourself as you pursue what you love.

Show Notes

- A glimpse into Krista’s wild and rebellious and Lindsey’s eccentric childhood days.
- Krista’s departure from her Catholic roots and why she sees the church as oppressive.
- Discovering spirituality and the love of the true source that she felt was “hidden” from her.
- Why Catholic school was confusing for Lindsey and how she is revisiting the idea of God.
- A word of wisdom about navigating your difference and individuality in the context of a group.
- The distinction between fitting in and belonging and how this sentiment is expressed in Almost 30.
- How the two women met and the mutual interests that ignited their podcasting journey.
- Hear about their creative collaboration, the growth of the business, and the intricacy of the co-founder relationship.
- The significant learning opportunities presented by our closest relationships with people.
- Female friendships and the importance of responding to others from a place of awareness.
- Asking yourself the hard question: do I truly want to create or am I looking for validation?
- How social media can hamper your creativity and perpetuate inauthenticity.
- From side hustle to booming business and learning that you can make money from doing what you love.
- The lessons Almost 30 is teaching them about their relationship with money and boundaries.
- How they are reclaiming their gut instinct and speaking their truth with love.

References

Krista Williams - http://itskrista.co/
Krista Williams on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/
Krista Williams on Twitter - https://twitter.com/itskrista?lang=en
Lindsey Simcik on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lindseysimcik/?hl=en
Lindsey Simcik on Twitter - https://twitter.com/lindsimss?lang=en
Almost 30 Podcast - https://almost30podcast.com/
Brené Brown - https://brenebrown.com/
SoulCycle - https://soul-cycle.com/
Break the Good Girl Myth - https://majomolfino.com/book
Majo Molfino - https://majomolfino.com/
HEROINE (Podcast) - https://majomolfino.com/podcast

What is your relationship to failure?

My guest this week, Sophia Amoruso, believes that, as long as you’re learning from your experiences, there’s no such thing as failure. The founder of Girlboss Media and author of #GIRLBOSS, Sophia watched her first business, online fashion retailer Nasty Gal, go bankrupt after a successful run. Rather than hide or quit when the challenges came, she chose instead to learn from the experience her first business gave her.

Sophia started her new venture, Girlboss Media, in 2017, with a fresh perspective on what success really means and a healthy relationship to failure. In this interview, you’ll hear how Sophia emerged from the challenges of losing her first business and the way these trials shaped who she is today. Even when the darkest days come and life puts obstacles in your path, there’s always something you can be grateful for.

Show Notes

- Growing up a troublemaker who had a distaste for authority and convention.
- Hear about Sophia’s high school years with ADHD and mental health struggles.
- A few compelling reasons why the traditional education system fails many people.
- Leaving home at 17 to live in the city in a purple “closet” with a bunch of musicians.
- How Sophia's teenage anti-establishment phase spilled over into her mischievous life in Portland.
- Find out why Sophia describes her time as a stripper as a positive experience.
- How privilege and special treatment made her feel entitled to indulge in delinquent behavior.
- The lessons in social engineering and acting that help Sophia to combat imposter syndrome.
- Learn about Sophia's journey to starting Nasty Gal and its exponential growth.
- 2016: the year her husband left her, her company went bankrupt, and Trump was elected.
- Breaking free from the binary concepts of success and failure.
- Seeing the good things in life amid the difficulty and embracing the mystery of our existence.
- The wonderful hindsight that comes with being a second-time entrepreneur.

References

Sophia Amoruso on Twitter - https://twitter.com/sophiaamoruso
Sophia Amoruso on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sophiaamoruso
Girlboss - https://www.girlboss.com
Girlboss on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/girlboss
#GIRLBOSS - https://www.amazon.com/GIRLBOSS-Sophia-Amoruso/dp/039916927X
Nasty Gal - https://www.nastygal.com
Isabel Allende - https://www.isabelallende.com
Majo Molfino - https://majomolfino.com
HEROINE (Podcast) - https://majomolfino.com/podcast

Majo shares the three year process of writing Break the Good Girl Myth (which is now available at http://goodgirlmyth.com, yay!). If you want to write a book, or birth any creative project into the world, this episode shares the resilience, commitment, and perseverance you need to stay the course. And heroine, it’s worth it to stay the course. Follow Majo on Instagram @majomolfino and sign up for my newsletter to hear about all the upcoming book launch events.

Show notes:
- How Majo refined my idea early on
- The difference between your “why” and your “how”
- How Majo sought to understand the book publishing landscape early on
- The importance of a book proposal
- The importance of surrounding yourself by people who are standing where you want to go
- How Majo got in touch with literary agents and landed on the one she wanted
- The way publishing works
- THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT SELLS BOOKS (the answer is not having a big platform)
- The heroine’s journey of the book writing process including the dark cocoon phase
- How Majo landed the book deal
- How Majo dealt with self-doubts
- The top 5 lessons and things about from the whole journey