As one cynical person once said, "The period of engagement is like an exciting introduction to a dull book.”

The foundation of a marriage is a solid commitment of unconditional love. Romance is an outward expression of that love. It is the fire in the fireplace—the warm response of one spouse to another that says, "We may have struggles, but I love you, and everything is okay."

We ought to make romance a part of our everyday diet in our marriage relationship. Look at what the Bible speaks of in Proverbs 5:18-19:

... and rejoice in the wife of your youth, as a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love.

If you are experiencing severe physical, emotional or verbal abuse in your marriage, you probably need to focus on other needs in your marriage besides improving your romance. But chances are that most of you, no matter how good your marriage relationship is, could use some more romance in your marriage.

Dennis Rainey is the president and chief executive officer of FamilyLife

3. Make your home—and especially your bedroom—a creative setting for sex. Your bedroom needs to be a private, secure, romantic hideaway, not a place where your paperwork is piling, along with laundry and your kids toys. Candles, Clean, Bed always made, it should be your and your spouses sanctuary 

4  Court your spouse again! When you are first dating, you find creative ways to impress your mate. Its sad that it stops months after getting married. And then we wonder..”why is marriage so boring” Well, its because we stopped caring! You stopped trying to impress your spouse. Write love texts, call and talk on the phone on their commute home and care about how you look when you see each other. Date your spouse again:)

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Part 1 -Men! 5 Things your Wife wishes you knew

One of the main reasons alone time is so important is because it gives you time to get re-energized. Between work, family, friends….life, your energy can really get drained.  Leaving you feeling tired and in need of a vacation. But most of us don't have the time or money to hop on a plane to Hawaii (sigh) and even a spa day can seem out of the question, alone time becomes your best bet to step back and recharge.

While you and your partner may have a lot of things in common and things that you love to do together, there are probably other things that are more your thing than theirs. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you suddenly stop doing the things you love. Whether it's running, MMA, crafting or just window shopping. "Doing the things you enjoy helps ensure you maintain your individuality despite being one half of a couple. It can be easy to drop some of the things that make you unique once you start dating someone, but that's never a good idea. Give yourself the opportunity to continue being you and doing what you love."

4. To get your Priorities in order 

It can be very difficult to get organized and on track when you're always with someone else, whether its a partner, friend or co-worker, but scheduling some time just for you gives you the opportunity to get things done. Take some time at the beginning of every week to make your to-do list! "Eat that Frog!” A great book by Brian Tracy that helps you stay on task. "The more organized you feel at the beginning of the week, the better you'll feel overall, and the better you feel, the better off your relationship will be. Good moods equal happier couples"

 "Respecting your own need for privacy and aloneness is an important first step in building a loving relationship with your spouse. There is a fundamental predisposition of every human being to have time alone.  Recognizing and understanding that need in yourself and your spouse is a huge step towards building a love that lasts.”

To be clear, Alone time doesn’t mean 2, 3 months away at a time. If that is the case, you need to get some counseling.

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P.S. When I said "Boyz in the Hood" was my childhood, I meant the music. I did not grow up in the hood or anywhere near Compton. Well I was like 50 miles North of Compton and I only went there to get trendy gear and a hair cut once.

-Lyndan

In part one we covered 1thru 6 On how to raise confident kids, so if you haven't had a chance to listen please go back and do so. 

Now here is PART 2

7. Encourage them like crazy!

We all need encouragement. Encouraging your children not only keeps them  feeling more positive and motivated, it also gives them an inner voice that will help them to encourage themselves for the rest of their life. At times I would make my son tell me he could do something. I would also tell him to picture himself accomplishing what everyone said he couldn’t. Envision it to life! That way if they do fail, they won’t be completely down on themselves. That inner voice will coach them to keep going

8.  Focus on them trying, not on the results- Spend more time praising them on the fact that they tried, even if they failed. My daughter worked so hard for a semester on the ASB committee at school, so we knew for sure they would ask her back. They didn’t. She was devastated! Instead of focusing on why she didn't make it, we focused on how hard she worked and what a difference she made while she was there.

9. Don’t Control them, Lead them- You are your childs coach, you lead them, guide them, but you can’t live there life. The same way Phil Jackson can’t jump in a game to take free throws.  So don’t do things for them. Let them make there own bed and do there own laundry for example. If you do everything for them they will not be competent enough to make it on there own. So as you teach, have them do, that will help build confidence that they can do it.

10. Task don’t have to be perfect-  If your child does a school project and it comes out pretty good, don’t be the parent to jump in and fix it. Doing that will undermine your child's confidence and it will stop them from learning to improve things themselves 

11. Let them start trying while they are young- Let your child play and climb rocks (as long as its not to dangerous) don’t say to much, just remind them to watch his steps. If you don’t allow him to try and use his own thoughts you are limiting him. When they get to the top say “Great! I knew you could do it!” and if your they don’t make it, you are there to catch them. This will help not only build confidence in themselves, but also in you.

12. Have them do easy task- Something as simple as helping you put laundry in  the washer and turning it on would be a manageable task for them to handle. Or putting an outfit together to wear. Every time they are able to complete a task, it gives them more confidence to try new things.

Hope you enjoyed this episode. These are the things that have worked for us. Our hope is that you can use some of these tools to help your kids have more confidence. 

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