High Impact Leaders

In my early days of selling, my mentor was an award-winning salesperson for one of the top training companies in the world. The first day I met her, she told me that her job was to coach me to be a better salesperson. She said that from time to time she would point out some things to me where I could make improvements and that she was only able to do this because she had already made every mistake imaginable. She knew what didn’t work, so she could help me focus on the areas that did work.

She was very consistent. Anytime she saw me doing or saying something that could cost me potential sales, she would matter-of-factly say something like, “I remember back when I…” and she would tell me about a time when she had made a similar mistake.

Her indirect coaching allowed me to save face. It also helped my career because I didn’t have to make the same mistakes that she had made.

YOUR TEAM CAN LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES – NOT THEIRS

Did it work? You bet. Within three years, I was one of the top salespeople in the world for that company and had become a pretty good coach as well.

It’s very easy to point out mistakes that others are making in an overt way. Most people do this. However, it takes a skilled mentor to point out mistakes in a way that lets the other person save face.

Letting people know how you have made a similar mistake first allows them to be more open-minded about their own mistakes.

Week #2: Conflict Resolution
Principle #13: Admit One of your Own Poor Decisions before Pointing Out a Similar Mistake by Others.

https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-13-admit-one-of-your-own-poor-decisions-before-pointing-out-a-similar-error-by-others/

This is day number 12 in our Daily Leadership Challenge. We are continuing this week with seven ways to reduce conflict. Daily Leadership Tip #12 is that If You Are Wrong, Admit It.

Do you realize that if we were right just 51% of the time, we’d all be multi-gazillionaires? The truth is that we are wrong much more often than we are right. When you find yourself on the wrong side of the argument, be the bigger person and admit it.

Week #2: Conflict Resolution
Principle #12: If You Find That You are in The Wrong, Admit It.

https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-12-if-you-find-that-you-are-in-the-wrong-admit-it/

Even if you use every one of the principles in this Daily Leadership Series consistently, the occasional disagreement is inevitable. There are many ways to deal with disagreements but arguing with the other party is one sure way to guarantee that you will not persuade the other person.

When we argue, each side will begin to become defensive.

A PERSON WHO IS DEFENSIVE WILL VERY RARELY SEE THE LOGIC IN AN ARGUMENT

If the goal is to persuade the other person, then it is a good idea to find some common ground.

Ask yourself a few questions.

• What about the two opinions is similar?
• What is some point that we can agree upon?
• What single thing can we both agree on?

I am not suggesting that you cave in, by the way – far from it. What I am suggesting is tearing down the defensive walls so that both parties can see a logical conclusion.

When we can find common ground, the emotion and defensiveness are somewhat diminished. At this point, if we use some of the other principles from this booklet to allow the other person to save face if he is wrong. This will allow us to come to a satisfactory conclusion.

So, when you feel an argument brewing, find some common ground as soon as possible.

Week #2: Conflict Resolution
Principle #11: Look for Some Type of Common Ground as Soon as Possible.
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-11-look-for-some-type-of-common-ground/

Daily Leadership Tip #10 – Instead of Telling People They Are Wrong, Point Out Mistakes Indirectly

In Ben Franklin’s autobiography, he wrote about how in his younger years, he made many enemies because he frequently corrected people publicly when they were wrong.

What he found was that although he was very convincing and had facts on his side, he rarely persuaded anyone that they were wrong.

To make things worse, he noticed that many of these men held grudges against him for years.

Ben Franklin learned from his mistakes. He developed several skills that we can use as well. When someone stated an opinion that was in error, he began to respond with phrases such as, “In many cases, I would probably feel the same as you about this. However, if the facts of the situation were different…”

He also came up with what salespeople now call the “Ben Franklin Close,” in which he drew a line down the middle of a piece of paper. He would then ask the person who differed with him to tell him all the pros of his idea, and he wrote them on one side. He then asked for all the cons and wrote them on the other. The other person usually came to his conclusion by being a little more objective.

ASK QUESTIONS TO POINT OUT MISTAKES INDIRECTLY

One of the best ways to point out mistakes indirectly is to ask questions. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say that you have a person who works for you who is constantly turning in reports after the requested deadline. You might start by giving clarification to your entire team about the importance of the deadline.

Then, if the person continues to turn in the information late, follow up with a question like, “I know that the team is focusing on getting the reports in early. How did you do with your report this week?”

Instead of getting angry, the person will typically try to offer some type of excuse.

When this happens, just follow up with one more question, “Yeah, I can understand how that would be a problem. What are you going to do this week to make sure that it doesn’t cause a challenge for you again?”

If you use this type of questioning, the person is more likely to take responsibility for making sure that the activity gets completed properly. So, let’s take a page from Ben Franklin’s autobiography and never tell someone “you’re wrong.”

Week #2: Conflict Resolution
Principle #10: Point Out Mistakes Indirectly
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-10-instead-of-telling-people-they-are-wrong-point-out-mistakes-indirectly/

Daily Leadership Tip #9-Be Slow to Anger-Especially Over Petty Issues

We must remember that when we get angry, we lose control. We may say or do things that we later regret.

When things don’t go our way, someone slights us, or circumstances turn against us, the natural human reaction is to get angry. The longer that we let it fester, the angrier we get. After a little bit of time, something that was very small in the beginning becomes huge as we play it over and over in our heads.

The worst thing that we can do at this point is to confront the person who has slighted us because people tend to respond in kind to us. If we begin to get angry, the person we are communicating with will probably begin to get angry as well. The argument will quickly escalate.

PEOPLE TEND TO RESPOND IN-KIND

However, when people get angry with us, and we remain calm and collected, one of two things will happen. They may storm off frustrated because we didn’t fight back. Or they will realize how foolish they appear and feel ashamed. Once people have a chance to vent, and the person that they are venting to remains calm and collected, they will typically cool down and begin to communicate more clearly. Remember, people respond in kind to what they see and hear.

Either way, we have avoided the negative consequences. So, if you want to keep long-lasting friendships, be slow to anger, especially over petty issues.

Week #2: Conflict Resolution
Principle #9: Be Slow to Anger Especially Over Petty Issues
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-9-be-slow-to-anger-especially-over-petty-issues/

Daily Leadership Tips Week #2 – Conflict Resolution Skills.

Many of this week’s principles will help you create a more positive outcome from negative situations.

These principles are excellent when used to calm an angry person or persuade people to see a different point of view. You may not convince the other person every time, but you should see more positive resolutions.

Keep in mind, that if we have not established solid trust by using the principles from last week, resolving conflicts can be much more difficult.

1. Be proactive instead of reactive.
2. Be slow to anger—especially over petty issues.
3. Instead of telling people they are wrong, point out mistakes indirectly.
4. Look for some type of common ground as soon as possible.
5. If you find that you are in the wrong, admit it.
6. Admit one of your own poor decisions before pointing out a similar error by others.
7. Mend fences whenever possible.

Leadership Principle #8 – Be Proactive Instead of Reactive.

“Good plans shape good decisions. That’s why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true.” – Lester R. Bittel

For full show notes, visit Daily Leadership Tips - Leadership Principle #8 – Be Proactive Instead of Reactive.
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-8-be-proactive-instead-of-reactive/

This is the last of seven principles in week number one of our Daily Leadership Tip Series. This whole week, we have covered six ways to build trust and build a team environment. The last leadership tip this week is number seven, Practice Good Listening Skills.

Don’t look for techniques on how to listen better.  The people who are great listeners do so because they want to be great listeners, not because they learned the latest “technique” to trick people into thinking that they are listening when they aren’t.

 I’ve noticed that there are about four different levels of listening.  

 THE FOUR LEVELS OF LISTENING

The lowest level of listening is to completely Ignore the speaker.  We all fall into this trap from time to time, such as when we are in a boring meeting and our mind wanders.  

 The second level of listening is when we Pretend to listen, but we are really just looking for an opportunity to end the conversation or change the subject.  

The third level of listening is when we Selectively listen (mainly out of self-interest.) When we listen at this level, we will practically ignore the other person unless they are talking about something that directly concerns us.  

Selective listeners will sometimes listen just enough to form an opinion or a rebuttal.  They tend to interrupt a lot and give advice.  

When we move into this level of listening, a lot of times, we do so to speed up the listening process. But for the most part, this type of listening can slow down the communication process giving us a negative result.  

The highest level of listener is the Attentive or Focused listener.  This person ignores all distractions and focuses totally on the speaker.  

In any given conversation, we will typically slip from one of these types of listening levels to another.  The key is to get our minds off ourselves and onto the other person.  

If we are genuinely interested in the other person – if we really care about the other person – we will automatically spend more time in the focused listening level.  

Week #1: Build Trust and Rapport Quickly
Principle #7: Be a Good Listener.
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-7-practice-good-listening-skills/

This is day number six in our Daily Leadership Tip series. Today, we focus on improving communication. The tip is to Assume Responsibility for Clear Communication.

Communication is a two-way street.  For communication to be successful, we must have both a successful speaker and an effective listener.  If either party is not present, miscommunication may occur.  However, there are things we can do to reduce miscommunication.  

For instance, if you know you are communicating with a person who is not really detail-oriented, and you give instructions verbally just once, you have a very small chance that the person will follow through on your instructions.  So, for that person, it might be a good idea to follow up with a text, phone call, or email.  Or, you might have to send some written instructions to the person.  

Regardless of how you follow up, if you want to ensure that the communication occurs, you must go above and beyond the call of duty.

To be a great leader, take responsibility for clear communication.

Week #1: Build Trust and Rapport Quickly
Principle #6: Assume Responsibility for Clear Communication.
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-6-assume-responsibility-for-clear-communication/

Continuing with our Daily Leadership Tip series, day #5 is to Avoid Placing the Burden of Your Problems onto Other People.

Have you ever known someone who, after any setback, had an excuse and typically laid the blame elsewhere?  

 I’m ashamed to say that at one point in my life, I was one of those people.  

Luckily, at one point in my career, I had a good friend that sat me down and said, “You can continue to come up with more excuses, or you can use less energy by just solving the problem.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  It wasn’t the economy or my manager. It wasn’t my coworker who was causing me to fail.  I realized that every mistake or problem that had ever occurred in my life had one common variable.  -- ME! 

At that point, I took a good look at myself.  I looked at some of the mistakes I had made and asked myself, how can I avoid making the same mistake again?  

I started to use every obstacle as a learning experience.  Don’t get me wrong, I still make excuses on occasion, but they are few and far between, and they no longer define me.  

Since I made that conscious decision, my career has really taken off. There are some people out there who make themselves feel better by bringing other people down.  

They revel in their ability to know who had a heart attack, who is getting divorced, who is stealing office supplies, and more.  The more they can bring other people down, the better that they feel.

Good leaders are the ones who stop this type of behavior in its tracks by just refusing to participate and standing up for coworkers who aren’t there to defend themselves.  If you want to be a great leader, avoid placing the burden of your problems onto other people. 

Week #1: Build Trust and Rapport Quickly
Principle #5: Avoid Placing the Burden of Your Problems onto Other People
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-5-avoid-placing-the-burden-of-your-problems-onto-other-people/

Continuing with day four of our Daily Leadership Tip Series, today we focus on remembering names.

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you run into someone that you have met before and can’t remember that person’s name?  It can be an awkward situation for both you and the other person.  

 When we remember someone’s name, we’re telling him, “You’re important.”  Therefore, when we forget a person’s name, we may leave the opposite impression.

 Do you want great service at a restaurant?  Call the waitress by name when you place your order.  

 Want to be the center of influence at a party?  

 Introduce people you just met to others at the party.  

 People love to hear their own name.  In fact, Dale Carnegie said that “a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest most important sound in any language.”

If you want to be a good people person, focus on remembering names.  They will feel more important because you remembered, and they will think more of you as well.

 Week #1: Build Trust and Rapport Quickly
Principle #4: Make an Effort to Remember Names.
https://www.leadersinstitute.com/daily-leadership-tip-4-make-an-effort-to-remember-names/