History. Rated R.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt was a transformative President to say the least. He also loved to fool around with the ladies. And...he tried to kill Craig's father?? Transformative may he be, he's also not necessarily the peachy keen man history makesw him out to be.
Want to cook up a grilled cheese? It's easy!
In a skillet, melt a pad of butter. Place 4 slices of break in the melted butter. Lay your cheese of choice on one slice, top it with the other, cook until one side is toasted brown, flip, repeat. Badabing, ya done!

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William McKinley was our 25th President and the 3rd to be, spoiler alert, assassinated. But it's okay, they brought in Thomas Edison to try to revive him with his magic? And the democrats couldn't get over their hard on for William Jennings Bryan, despite him being a two time loser. Fool them twice, shame on them. Also! The history of the Gin Rickey. Stir one up and sip with us.
The Gin Rickey
2 oz London dry gin
1 oz lime juice
Stir in a Collins glass filled with ice. Fill with club soda. Garnic with lime wedge.

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We're tackling a handfull of President's this episode, but mostly James Garfield who was, DUN DUN DUN, assassinated! The road to the secret service was a long one, clearly. Plus, Rutherford B. Hayes and James Garfield's favorite food, and the below recipe for "Squirrel Soup" if you wanna be real authentic and cook that up with us. (We're using lamb though...)
From The Daily Beast:
Wash and quarter three or four good sized squirrels; put them on, with a small tablespoonful of salt, directly after breakfast, in a gallon of cold water. Cover the pot close, and set it on the back part of the stove to simmer gently, not boil. Add vegetables just the same as you do in case of other meat soups in the summer season, but especially good will you find corn, Irish potatoes, tomatoes and Lima beans. Strain the soup through a coarse colander when the meat has boiled to shreds, so as to get rid of the squirrels' troublesome little bones. Then return to the pot, and after boiling a while longer, thicken with a piece of butter rubbed in flour. Celery and parsley leaves chopped up are also considered an improvement by many. Toast two slices of bread, cut them into dice one-half inch square, fry them in butter, put them into the bottom of your tureen, and then pour the soup boiling hot upon them.
Notes:
The substitution of the rabbit (x1) doesn’t change much in terms of cooking as it is also a very lean meat. It also needs to be cooked low and slow. Cook 8 hours on low in a crockpot for best results. Add the veg half way through. Strain and remove bones as instructed above.
Add whatever seasonal vegetables you would like.

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Daniel Webster, likely one of the OG good dues in US History. A lawyer, statesman, Congressman, and Secretary of State, he was also a mastory orator and wrote some of this country's finest speeches. He also has a fun cocktail named after him...Daniel Webster's Punch! Mix up yours with the recipe below and cheers to the old Webs.
Daniel Webster's Punch 
INGREDIENTS
3 lemons
1/2 cup sugar
1 bag black tea
1/2 cup lemon juice
3/4 cup cognac
3/4 cup oloroso, dry
3/4 cup Jamaican rum
1 1/2 cups Bordeaux, or any full-bodied red wine
champagne, to top  


DIRECTIONS
Peel the lemons, taking care to avoid as much of the bitter white pith as possible.
In a large bowl, combine the sugar with the lemon peels, then lightly muddle and let sit for 20 minutes to allow the citrus oils to infuse with the sugar.
Boil 2 cups of water and steep the tea bag in it for 5 minutes, and set aside to cool slightly.
To the bowl, add the tea, lemon juice, cognac, sherry, rum and red wine, and stir to combine.
Strain out the lemon peels and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
Fifteen minutes before serving, add the ice ring (see Editor's Note).
Ladle into cups and lightly top each glass with champagne.

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Comedian Mateen Stewart joins us to talk about the vital importance of teaching Black history in schools and throughout the world, and not JUST in February. Learn why February became Black history month, the origin of some words you might want to stop using, and the history of his family.

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Italian noblewoman who became the Queen of France, Catherine de' Medici and her hubby committed some awful, awful genocides. Nostradamus predicted 3 of her sons would be kings and they were! But she killed a lot of folks. Not cool. Also, the apropos history of Chicken Provençal and Craig's recipe below! Cook yourself up some and sit down and eat with us 'cause when you're here...YOU'RE FAMILY!!
Step 1. Bring your favorite pieces of chicken to room temperature.  Set the oven on bake to 375 or convention bake to 350.
Step 2. Lightly spray, brush, or otherwise coat the chicken with olive oil.
Step 3. Sprinkle herbs de Provence and garlic salt on all sides of the chicken.
Step 4. Place the pieces of chicken in a baking pan and add enough dry (white) vermouth to cover the bottom of the baking dish.
Step 5. Bake the chicken for 30 to 40 minutes.
Step 6. Serve the chicken with your favorite vegetables and white wine.  Small potatoes can be roasted with the chicken. Asparagus sprayed with olive oil and sprinkled with garlic salt compliments the chicken as would any dry white wine.

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Eleanor of Aquitaine was one tough broad and Queen of France, Queen of England, AND Duchess of Aquitaine. Although her sons saw a lot of problems and caused her a bunch of grief like participating in a little something called The Crusades. But she is one badass lady in History. Plus, we're drinking the French 75! Hear about its history, pour one for yourself, and cheers with us!
The French 75
Combine 1 oz Gin, 1/2 oz Lemon juice, and 2 Dashes Simple syrup in a shaker with ice. Shake vigorously. Strain into champagne flute, fill with 2 oz Champagne, garnish with a thin lemon slice or lemon peel.

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You heard it here folks! (But maybe not the first time.) Abe was totally bi. He also isn't necessarily the great white savior a lot of people make him out to be. Even progressive folks have their problems. So why WASN'T the emancipation proclomation so hot? Well, you'll see. Also, cook yourself up some risotto with us and hear about its history in Italy! (Eat-aly?)
Craig's LEGEN-wait for it-DARY Risotto
Step 1: Place one half cup of arborio rice and one cup of chicken, fish, vegetable or beef broth in a medium sized pot.  (The broth you select should complement your main dish.). Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer.  Stir frequently and when all the broth is absorbed add another quarter cup of broth.
Step 2: In the meantime, cover the bottom of a sauce pan with a quarter inch of olive oil, place over a burner, and raise burner to medium heat.  Add half a cup of chopped red onion and half a cup of Anaheim chillies (or green pepper).  Stir and cook until onions are translucent.
Step 3: Add two chopped garlic cloves, one tablespoon oregano, and half a teaspoon of turmeric to the onion mix and stir in.
Step 4: Transfer the rice to the onion mix and stir in.  Add another quarter cup of broth to the mix, continually stirring.  If it seems too dry, add more broth.
Step 5: Add two slices of gorgonzola cheese to the rice mixture. (About two inches by one inch, about a quarter inch thick.). Melt the cheese into the rice mix constantly stirring.
Step 6: For white risotto, add two tablespoon of sour cream.  OR for red risotto, add two tablespoons of tomato paste.  Keep stirring!
Step 7: Taste the mix to see if the rice is done to your satisfaction.  If it is too tough or dry, add broth and keep stirring.  When it's nice and soft, serve it.

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In this special episode, your uncle Craig, a Ukranian himself, brings you the most concise, comprehensive history of the Ukraine and why Russia is consistently a dick to them. It all begins with some Vikings and Barbarians and churches and lots of wars. Plus, make Craig's family recipe for the traditional Ukranian supper, "Halupki!"
The Ukrainian stuffed cabbage, known as Halupshas, Halubtsi, or Halupki, is a peasant dish that is actually healthy and nutritious. Remember read through all the steps before you start to make sure you have all the ingredients.  The dish takes about two hours start to finish when using an oven (1 hour baking at 350 degrees in a Dutch oven) but can be done in half that time in a pressure cooker, such as Instant pot at high pressure and natural release.
Step 1. Cook half a cup of rice in one cup of water and set aside.
Step 2. Put a pound of ground lamb in a bowl, add one egg, four chopped cloves of garlic, a tablespoon of chopped or dried rosemary, and half a cup of sour cream. Mix thoroughly and then mix the rice in. You now have your filling.
Step 3. Core then Boil a large cabbage for ten minutes. When it cools, gently remove the leaves.
Step 4. With a knife pair the bulge (lol) in the stem on the back of the leaf. This will make them easier to fold.
Step 5. Take a leaf place it in front of you with the bottom of the leaf, inside up, facing your stomach. Place a heaping tablespoon of the mixture on the center of the leaf. Fold in the sides of the leaf over the mixture, then fold the bottom of the leaf over that rolling it away from you forming a package. Continue making packages until the mixture is used up.
Step 6. Put a cup of water in your Dutch oven or pressure cooker. Add packages in a circular pattern against wall of the pot so they won’t come undone.
Step 7. Pour a can of diced tomatoes over the packages and sprinkle with red wine vinegar. Cover the pot. Cook at 350 for one hour in the Dutch oven or 30 minutes in a pressure cook and then let it set for 12 minutes.
Serve when hungry.
Say it with us..."Cabbage Package."

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President James K. Polk wanted more shit (read: more land). So he sacrifices some soldiers in Texas to motivate going to war with Mexico to take more of their land. Only they got it from Indigenous Peoples before them. This begins the Mexican-American war and a long history of coming around to saying, "no one is illegal on stolen land." Plus, the Atta Boy cocktail and the history of its bartender inventor Harry Craddock. (Shout out to Carrie Frazier!) Stir one up and drink along with us!
The Atta Boy
2 parts dry gin
1 part dry vermouth
1/4 tsp grenadine
Garnish with an aspired orange rind
Stir with ice and strain into a chilled glass.

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