In 1993, Angelina Namiba was finishing her finals at Manchester Metropolitan University when she fell seriously ill. Her GP suggested an HIV test. She took the referral paper, put it under her bed, and didn't go. When he wrote again, underlining "strongly" in red, she went for the test but never collected the results. She already knew what HIV looked like. Her brother, studying in London, had been in and out of specialist wards with Kaposi's sarcoma, meningitis, and epileptic fits. He died at Mildmay Hospice. She was terrified.

Eventually, pre-test counselling gave her the courage to try again. A friend from secondary school in Kenya called and said: ring me when you get the result. Whatever it is, I'll be there. Angelina tested positive in her early twenties, believing she had perhaps six months to live.

She didn't die. She took a job the same week as her diagnosis to keep busy whilst waiting for the end. That decision, and the peer support she found through organisations run by gay men who already knew how to do this work, kept her going. In 1998, she had a daughter, born HIV-free thanks to treatment during pregnancy. She went on to co-found the 4M Network, training mentor mothers to support women through the pregnancy journey. And with four other African women living with HIV in the UK, she co-authored Our Stories Told by Us, a book reclaiming the narrative from statistics and tragedy.

00:02:09 - Before diagnosis. Angelina was focussed on her university finals. As a foreign student from Kenya, she needed to justify the fees her mother had paid.

00:03:11 - The spirit of Harambee. In Kenya, communities come together to help those in need, whether for school fees, funerals, or weddings. This collective spirit shaped Angelina's approach to peer support.

00:04:41 - The test she didn't take. After her GP suggested an HIV test, Angelina put the referral under her bed and went to the library to look up hepatitis B instead. HIV felt too frightening to face.

00:06:32 - No information for women like her. Everything Angelina had seen about HIV featured white gay men. The image of Freddie Mercury on the tabloids after his death. Men getting ill and dying. Nothing aimed at African women.

00:07:55 - The letter underlined in red. When Angelina still hadn't gone for the test, her GP wrote again, underlining "strongly" in red ink. That scared her enough to go.

00:10:09 - What she already knew. Angelina's brother had been diagnosed before her. She watched him develop Kaposi's sarcoma, meningitis, and epileptic fits. He spent his final year between specialist wards and died at Mildmay Hospice. This was her understanding of HIV.

00:11:24 - A friend at the end of the line. Before going for her results, Angelina's school friend from Kenya said: call me whatever happens. Knowing someone was waiting made it possible to face the news.

00:12:40 - Two ways to take it. Diagnosed in her early twenties, Angelina decided she could either go negative or make the most of her remaining time. She chose the latter.

00:13:24 - Finally, another woman. A friend came to Angelina with news of her own diagnosis. Angelina's response: yes, finally, another woman in London living with HIV. Her friend took her to support groups.

00:14:47 - Learning from gay men. The main support available came from organisations led by gay men who already understood stigma, illness, and mutual aid. They welcomed the women and showed them how to do support work themselves.

00:16:43 - Stigma and silence. Many African women were being diagnosed but not accessing services. Internalised stigma, fear of judgement, and the taboo around talking about sex kept them hidden.

00:18:25 - "How did you get HIV?" Journalists kept asking this question, trying to place her in a box of guilt or innocence. Angelina eventually answered: I got HIV not because of what I did, but because of what I didn't do. I didn't use a condom. Like millions of other young people.

00:21:57 - Pregnancy and motherhood. In 1998, Angelina had a daughter, born HIV-free thanks to treatment during pregnancy. Guidelines then required caesarean section and no breastfeeding. She kept a week-by-week pregnancy diary for her daughter to read.

00:23:57 - Eighteen months of waiting. In those days, babies were tested repeatedly until 18 months old. Only then could mothers breathe a sigh of relief.

00:25:01 - Her daughter now. Angelina's daughter is a singer-songwriter. She can be found on Instagram at @realhamzaa.

00:26:33 - The 4M Network. Angelina co-founded this perinatal peer mentoring project. 4M stands for My Health, My Choice, My Child, My Life. It trains mentor mothers to support their peers through pregnancy and beyond.

00:27:37 - Why mentor mothers matter. A mentor mother has walked the journey before. She understands the anxieties, the domestic violence some women face when disclosing, the immigration issues, the poverty. She can hold your hand through it.

00:29:52 - Breastfeeding and choice. With undetectable viral load, women can now be supported to breastfeed safely if they choose. HIV should not remove that option.

00:31:59 - Disclosure from a position of power. When sharing your status, Angelina advises doing so not from fear but from trust. You are giving someone information because you believe they should have it. If they walk, that's about them, not you.

00:33:30 - Learning from the Global South. African countries have incredible interventions, skills, and expertise. The flow of knowledge shouldn't only go one way.

00:34:22 - Our Stories Told by Us. With four other African women living with HIV in the UK, Angelina co-authored a book celebrating the African contribution to the HIV response. Over forty contributors, each with a photograph, challenging stigma and reclaiming the narrative.

00:39:45 - Remembering her brother. Angelina asks us to remember Kennedy, known as Kay. A gentle soul who loved fashion, saved his money for quality, danced beautifully, and made her laugh.

00:40:53 - The postcard. "Women living with HIV are just like you and me. We are sisters, friends, lovers, parents. With access to treatment and support, we can lead healthy, fulfilling lives. We can start families if we wish. We are just like you."

00:42:12 - Thank you to the activists. Angelina pays tribute to the early gay activists who put their bodies on the line for treatment and research. Without them, many would not be here today. She gives a special shout-out to dan glass, who "puts the act into activism."

Angelina Namiba is originally from Kenya and has been living with HIV since 1993. She is a co-founder of the 4M Network, which trains mentor mothers to support women through pregnancy. She worked for many years at Positively Women (now Positively UK) and co-authored Our Stories Told by Us: Celebrating the African Contribution to the UK HIV Response. She is a mother, mentor, and tireless advocate for women's voices in the HIV response.

1. Our Stories Told by Us - ourstoriestoldbyus.com - The book celebrating African contributions to the UK HIV response
2. 4M Mentor Mothers Network: https://4mmm.org/
3. Salamander Trust (Trustee): https://salamandertrust.net
4. UK AIDS Memorial Quilt: https://aidsquiltuk.org
5. Positively UK: https://positivelyuk.org
6. HIV and Black African Communities in the UK (NAT): https://nat.org.uk/publications/hiv-and-black-african-communities-in-the-uk/
7. Angelina's daughter Hamzaa on Instagram: @realhamzaa

Alexander Cheves grew up on a 500-acre farm in rural Georgia, raised by evangelical missionary parents who blocked gay websites and warned him that choosing this "lifestyle" meant choosing death. At sixteen, he decided to come out anyway, convinced he was trading a long life for a brief, honest one. He tested positive for HIV at twenty, in 2013, during his final year of college.

What followed wasn't the manageable adjustment the medical timeline might suggest. In the six months after diagnosis, Alexander fell into a depression so severe he nearly didn't survive it. He went through a period of manic sex without disclosure, behaviour he's since written about with unflinching honesty in his memoir My Love Is a Beast. He later learned from infectious disease specialists that this response is statistically common, though rarely discussed.

This conversation covers Alexander's decade as a sex worker, his move from Atlanta to New York to Berlin, his relationship with drugs and nightlife, and his views on HIV criminalisation and personal responsibility. He talks about friends who didn't make it, including one who died after "bug chasing" and never sought treatment. And he reflects on turning thirty, an age his father once predicted he wouldn't reach, and discovering that life only got better from there.

00:02:25 - Growing up isolated. Alexander describes the 500-acre farm, the Christian parental blockers, and arriving at college in 2010 believing gay life still looked like 1985.

00:05:18 - Choosing death over the closet. At sixteen, Alexander made a conscious decision that a brief, honest life was preferable to survival in hiding. He wrote a 13-page poem debating it with himself.

00:09:37 - The closet is unendurable. Alexander reflects on why so many queer men choose perceived shorter lives over staying hidden. The daily anxiety of concealment, he argues, is a form of suffering that cannot be sustained.

00:12:20 - College and consequences. With no sex education from his parents, Alexander went wild. He was in and out of the student health clinic constantly. In hindsight, testing positive at twenty was no surprise.

00:14:43 - The drive to the clinic. When the clinic refused to give results over the phone, Alexander knew. The six months that followed were the hardest of his life to survive.

00:16:05 - 2013 realities. Pre-PrEP, pre-U=U. Doctors worried about medication adherence in young patients. Alexander was told disclosure was entirely his responsibility.

00:18:04 - No one would touch him. Overnight, his sex life ended. The only partners willing to engage were older men who understood HIV. These "gay daddies" saved his life.

00:19:52 - The manic period. Alexander describes anonymous, strategic sex without disclosure in the months before medication. He later learned this response is clinically documented, though he'd thought himself uniquely transgressive.

00:24:22 - Sex work and healing. Alexander spent nearly a decade as an escort, learning that many clients simply wanted someone to talk to. The loneliest were often older men who'd lost everyone in the plague years.

00:29:02 - Drugs, loneliness, and gay culture. Higher rates of substance abuse among gay men, Alexander suggests, stem from isolation, societal trauma, and a culture built in spaces of consumption.

00:30:17 - Harm reduction, not abstinence. Therapists at Gay Men's Health Crisis in New York focussed on moderation. Combined with daily meditation started after diagnosis, Alexander found a relationship with drugs that works for him.

00:36:09 - The friend who didn't make it. A fellow sex worker and friend, into bug chasing, caught HIV deliberately and never sought treatment. Alexander believes shame killed him as much as the virus.

00:41:01 - HIV criminalisation. American law still places responsibility entirely on the positive partner, even in consensual encounters. Alexander argues this is outdated, weaponised, and ignores individual agency.

00:45:48 - Bareback culture as safe space. In spaces where everyone shares responsibility, status becomes irrelevant. For Alexander, these environments were healing.

00:50:38 - Surviving past thirty. Alexander's father predicted he wouldn't live beyond thirty. When that birthday came and went, Alexander realised he'd never planned for a future. He moved to Berlin to live the life he hadn't imagined.

00:56:38 - Shame as disease. Alexander rejects the idea of "good shame." He believes shame kills people, and the only antidote is self-love, however hokey that sounds.

01:06:08 - On the other side of nihilism is joy. Life has no meaning, and that's liberating. Black holes will swallow everything eventually. In the meantime, there's no reason not to enjoy it.

01:09:51 - Remembering Sean. Alexander recalls a gay couple in Atlanta who gave him a room for almost nothing. When one of them, Sean, died of cancer in his forties, the community came together. Sean was one of many gay elders who provided shelter when a lost young man needed it.

01:13:24 - The postcard. "There's no more important thing you'll do in life than love yourself."

Alexander Cheves is an American writer and columnist for Out magazine, currently based in Berlin. His erotic memoir My Love Is a Beast: Confessions won the 2022 Jeff Maynes Non-fiction Prize. He writes about sex, identity, kink, and living with HIV with characteristic honesty. His second book is currently in progress.

1. Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) - gmhc.org - New York-based HIV/AIDS service organisation
2. The Sero Project - seroproject.com - Network of people with HIV fighting stigma and criminalisation
3. Prevention Access Campaign - preventionaccess.org - U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable) information and advocacy
4. Terrence Higgins Trust - tht.org.uk - UK's leading HIV and sexual health charity
5. Positively UK - positivelyuk.org - Peer-led support for people living with HIV
6. My Love Is a Beast (Author’s Page): Unbound Edition Press
7. Alexander Cheves’ Columns: Out Magazine - Sexy Beast
8. Gay’s The Word (UK LGBT+ Bookshop): https://www.gaystheword.co.uk
9. HIV Criminalisation Information: HIV Justice Network

In 1987, Chris Smith received an HIV diagnosis and was told he might have months to live. His doctor's advice? Learn to live with uncertainty. Thirty-eight years later, he's the Chancellor of Cambridge University.

This episode traces Chris's journey through the darkest years of the epidemic whilst serving in the heart of British politics. He recounts the moment he came out as gay at a Rugby rally in 1984, his hands shaking, only to receive a standing ovation twenty seconds into his speech. He describes navigating Section 28 debates whilst secretly managing Kaposi's sarcoma and the brutal side effects of alpha interferon. And he shares the unlikely deal he struck with the Sunday Times that eventually led to a phone call from Nelson Mandela.

Chris reflects on what it meant to carry a secret whilst holding public office, the transformation that combination therapy brought, and the friend he lost in the late 80s whose memory still stays with him. His closing message is characteristically direct: be yourself, be unafraid, and tell your story in your own way.

00:02:23 - Coming out at Rugby, 1984. Chris describes the moment he decided, mid-rally, to publicly declare his sexuality. A thousand people stood and applauded before he'd finished his first sentence.

00:07:32 - Public attitudes shifted faster than politics. Chris observes that ordinary people coming out in their families, workplaces, and neighbourhoods drove change more than any politician or celebrity.

00:10:13 - The terror of early awareness. News of the virus filtered through from America. Government tombstone adverts amplified fear rather than understanding.

00:12:41 - "Learn to live with uncertainty." Chris's doctor delivered this advice in the days before AZT. It became a guiding principle for the next four decades.

00:15:14 - Section 28 and finding love. Amid vile parliamentary speeches, Chris spotted an attractive young man across a committee room. They ended up living together for 24 years.

00:17:56 - Kaposi's sarcoma arrives. The visible marker of AIDS in films like Philadelphia appeared on Chris's body, though thankfully not where the public could see.

00:19:07 - Alpha interferon hell. For a year, Chris oscillated between feeling like he had severe flu and feeling normal, all whilst maintaining a demanding public role.

00:22:01 - Combination therapy changes everything. Suddenly there was hope. Side effects disappeared. Viral loads became undetectable.

00:25:19 - The Sunday Times deal. A journalist discovered Chris's status. Rather than fight it, Chris negotiated: hold the story, and when he was ready, the paper would have the exclusive.

00:28:55 - Mandela calls. Two years after the deal, inspired by Mandela's speech at his son's funeral, Chris went public. The next morning, a note on his desk read: "Please ring Mr. Mandela."

00:35:07 - Living with uncertainty today. Combination therapy has transformed the nature of uncertainty, but no one yet knows what 38 years of living with HIV means for the decades ahead.

00:36:16 - Remembering a friend. Chris recalls visiting a friend in his final weeks, a man once full of the joys of existence, now shrivelled and gaunt. The shock of seeing him was greater than losing him.

00:37:36 - The postcard to the world. "Be yourself. Be unafraid, and tell your story in your own way."

Lord Chris Smith was elected MP for Islington South and Finsbury in 1983. He became Britain's first MP to voluntarily come out as gay in 1984, the world's first openly gay cabinet minister in 1997, and the first UK MP to publicly disclose living with HIV in 2005. He is currently Chancellor of the University of Cambridge.

1. Terrence Higgins Trust - tht.org.uk - UK's leading HIV and sexual health charity
2. National AIDS Trust - nat.org.uk - Policy, campaigning, and support
3. Positively UK - positivelyuk.org - Peer-led support for people living with HIV
4. HIV i-Base - i-base.info - Treatment information and advocacy
5. The Food Chain - foodchain.org.uk - Nutrition services for people living with HIV in London
6. The Food Chain (Patron: Chris Smith): https://www.foodchain.org.uk

Ten episodes of brilliance from ten inspiring people living with HIV.

Episode 1 drops Friday 6 February, 2026.

Email: [email protected]

1. Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
2. Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
3. The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
4. Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health services.
5. PrEPster - Community-led PrEP (HIV prevention pill) education project. Offers clear and inclusive info for diverse audiences across the UK.
6. National AIDS Trust - A UK policy and campaigning organisation dedicated to ending HIV stigma and promoting effective HIV policies.
7. aidsmap - A trusted source for up-to-date, evidence-based information on HIV. Great for learning about treatment, living with HIV, and current research.
8. Terrence Higgins Trust - The UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity. Offers support, testing info, prevention resources (PrEP), and education materials.
9. In the Key of Q - Podcast celebrating Queer musicians and their stories, also produced by Dan Hall.

Series 2 of HIV: The Morning After will arrive on 6 February 2026. Guests include activist Dan Glass, author and sex columnist Alexander Cheves and Positively UK Chief Executive Silvia Petretti. Join them and other inspiring guests for a new ten-part series telling the stories of people living with HIV today.

Dan Hall

Email: [email protected]

Marc Thompson was diagnosed with HIV at just 17 in 1986, during the epidemic's most frightening early days when information wasn't reaching young black gay men in South London's vibrant but segregated queer scene. His journey from isolated teenager to influential activist illustrates the power of transforming personal experience into systemic change.

Feeling like the only young black gay man in HIV services, Marc recognised the vital importance of representation and community building, establishing the first support group for positive black gay men at the London Lighthouse.

His activism spans decades, from safer sex workshops in the 1990s through co-founding PrEPster in 2014 to fight for HIV prevention access, and creating Blackout UK to celebrate black queer lives.

Now serving as Lead Commissioner of the London HIV Prevention Programme, Marc has architected change that ensures black queer men are part of funding conversations and policy decisions. His story demonstrates how one person's determination to build the community they desperately needed can reshape an entire field, whilst his commitment to preserving stories through podcasts and archives ensures future generations understand their history and heritage.

03:02 - Teenage life in 1986: "I was out on the scene and discovering myself... just being a curious, fun, engaged teenager."

04:37 - Segregated gay scene: "For many black queer people... those places were not particularly welcoming... because of racist door policies."

06:33 - Societal context: "The UK was deeply racist. The National Front was still marching on the streets."

07:32 - Community assumptions: "One of the rules we had in my community was, well, this is a white man's thing."

08:37 - Information access: "There was no route for that information to get directly to a young man like me."

09:53 - The diagnosis: "I'm told that they have come back positive. And the world stopped."

11:27 - Processing the news: "The only two things that kept reverberating... how am I going to tell my grandfather... I would never have children."

12:36 - Isolation of diagnosis: "I didn't know anyone who had HIV who looked like me."

13:01 - Multiple intersections: "I knew that all of this intersected with my blackness and my queerness."

14:16 - Mother's support: "I was able to tell my mum... she didn't throw me out of the house."

15:50 - Community gossip: "I became known in the small black gay community as Marc with the virus."

17:41 - First activism: "If I can teach these men... maybe they'll be less fearful... maybe there won't be so shit to people like me."

22:26 - First support group: "I'd set up the first black gay men's group... There were only four of us... probably one of the most important days of my life."

25:56 - PrEPster origins: "We set up PrEPster as a website... with the sole intention of providing education to our communities."

27:32 - Golden age of prevention: "The emergence of organisations like Gay Men Fighting AIDS... culturally appropriate, culturally specific information."

33:38 - Community resistance: "Why can't these young gay men just use condoms like we did? Aren't they fucking on the graves of the people that died?"

37:09 - Blackout UK mission: "We wanted to celebrate black queer lives... always coming from a place of love, joy and celebration."

41:06 - HIV equality: "We are all in some ways HIV equal, whether we're negative, positive or untested."

43:01 - Personal responsibility: "I take my medication to keep me alive. The fact that I get to fuck you bareback is a bonus."

48:32 - Fighting systemic change: "If we're having panel discussions, we need to ensure that those are balanced."

49:06 - Personal legacy: "I think he'd go, I'm not surprised... That's what we're meant to be doing."

55:12 - Remembrance: "All of the black gay men... who passed away in isolation, in fear... Those would be the people that I would want to remember."

57:29 - Final message: "Refuel the world... be more love tank... checking on that queer person you haven't heard from."

1. Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
2. Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
3. The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
4. Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health services.
5. PrEPster - Community-led PrEP (HIV prevention pill) education project. Offers clear and inclusive info for diverse audiences across the UK.
6. National AIDS Trust - A UK policy and campaigning organisation dedicated to ending HIV stigma and promoting effective HIV policies.
7. aidsmap - A trusted source for up-to-date, evidence-based information on HIV. Great for learning about treatment, living with HIV, and current research.
8. Terrence Higgins Trust - The UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity. Offers support, testing info, prevention resources (PrEP), and education materials.
9. In the Key of Q - Podcast celebrating Queer musicians and their stories, also produced by Dan Hall.

Gus Cairns was diagnosed with HIV in 1985 at age 29, having met the love of his life, Paul, who was already positive. An Oxford graduate drifting through London's gay scene, Gus wanted to share Paul's status, believing it meant they could have unprotected sex without consequences. What followed was a devastating education in AIDS as Paul slowly died over four and a half years, succumbing in January 1990 after insisting on showing Princess Diana his Kaposi's sarcoma lesions to reveal "what it was like."

Gus's own journey through near-death experiences, alternative therapies, and the transformative arrival of combination therapy in the mid-1990s illustrates the psychological complexity of surviving when so many friends died. His story captures the "Lazarus effect" - the unexpected challenge of learning to live again after preparing for death - whilst highlighting how trauma can be transformed into purpose.

Now 69 and a respected HIV educator, Gus reflects on 40 years of living with HIV with the wisdom of someone who has witnessed history and emerged determined to teach its lessons, particularly that "you can't moralise your way out of an epidemic."

03:01 - Meeting Paul: "The reaction to Paul was summed up... 'why are you going out with that maniac?'"

06:51 - Sexual history: "If you're shagging around on the gay scene in the early 80s... I was quite good looking and I was horny."

08:40 - Seroconversion symptoms: "A clutch of very severe mouth ulcers... a classic, clear seroconversion symptom of HIV."

09:15 - Wanting to be positive: "I was so besotted by him that I actually wanted to be positive, too."

10:04 - Testing refusal: "They wouldn't give me an HIV test because the Ethics committee had decided it was essentially a death sentence."

12:46 - Princess Diana visit: "He said, I want them to see what it was like."

17:00 - Paul's final days: "He said, I want to go to the loo... That was his last moment of consciousness."

19:42 - Death certificate insistence: "Absolutely insisting that AIDS was recorded on his death certificate."

21:04 - AZT trial experience: "I lasted six weeks and then I said, I'm not taking this anymore."

23:08 - Survival mentality: "I was looking for a kind of survivor's mentality... split myself into two systems of belief."

24:12 - 1995 breakthrough: "Reading the report... seeing the virus load disappear in his subjects."

25:13 - Scientific turning point: "Right, I want these drugs."

26:37 - Survivor's depression: "I didn't realise I was terribly depressed... I didn't know how to cope with surviving."

28:37 - Wartime mentality: "People were dying left, right and centre all around you."

29:47 - Sexual behaviour change: "I'd taken an unconscious decision that I did not want to... inject HIV into somebody else."

32:26 - Current global concerns: "Trump cutting... all the assistance to Africa."

35:04 - War and inhibition: "In wartime people lose their inhibitions."

37:38 - Key lesson: "One of those lessons is that you can't moralise your way out of an epidemic."

41:03 - Remembering Paul: "He taught me the power of defiance and the power of absolutely standing up for yourself."

42:58 - Final wisdom: "Survival is the best revenge... don't let the anger and the stress get to you."

1. Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
2. Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
3. The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
4. Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health services.
5. PrEPster - Community-led PrEP (HIV prevention pill) education project. Offers clear and inclusive info for diverse audiences across the UK.
6. National AIDS Trust - A UK policy and campaigning organisation dedicated to ending HIV stigma and promoting effective HIV policies.
7. aidsmap - A trusted source for up-to-date, evidence-based information on HIV. Great for learning about treatment, living with HIV, and current research.
8. Terrence Higgins Trust - The UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity. Offers support, testing info, prevention resources (PrEP), and education materials.
9. In the Key of Q - Podcast celebrating Queer musicians and their stories, also produced by Dan Hall.

Dr Peter Willis brings a unique dual perspective to HIV - as both physician and patient during the epidemic's most challenging years. Working as a GP in the early days when HIV meant certain death, Peter witnessed the professional helplessness of medicine whilst quietly assuming his own positive status after his 16-year partner Malcolm showed clear signs of AIDS. Malcolm refused testing and died in 1994, leaving Peter to navigate his own eventual diagnosis in 1995, just as combination therapy emerged to transform his prognosis from months to decades.

Now 83, Peter has been married to his Japanese partner for nearly 30 years and reflects on the extraordinary journey from expecting death before retirement to discovering pottery in his ninth decade. His story captures the medical profession's evolution from powerlessness to hope, the personal cost of stigma in healthcare settings, and the grace found in both losing love and finding it again. Peter's measured wisdom about ageing with HIV, drawn from both clinical knowledge and lived experience, offers profound insights into resilience, acceptance, and the unexpected gifts of longevity.

02:52 - Early medical stigma: "Sometimes the envelopes... had 'HIV positive' written in red on the outside of the packet."

03:59 - Medical helplessness: "Initially, you really couldn't do anything."

04:48 - Malcolm's AIDS: "It was quite clear that he had AIDS. He didn't want to be tested."

05:49 - Professional compartmentalisation: "I treated patients as patients... separate from me."

06:26 - Assumed prognosis: "I always assumed that I wouldn't have very long to live, five years at the most."

06:53 - Early retirement: "Such a relief... I retired on the basis that I had less than six months to live."

08:05 - Limited gay scene engagement: "I was never much good at dancing... very self-conscious."

09:37 - Police warning: "If I were you, I'd get out of here. I'm a policeman."

10:27 - Professional fears: "I just couldn't face the prospect of being in the local newspaper as a GP."

11:16 - Diagnosis journey: "A friend... said, I'm coming to see you... I'm taking you to hospital."

12:57 - Receiving the news: "Steve said, I'm sorry, I have bad news for you."

13:45 - Survival factors: "I seem to be... immunologically tough... combination therapy came along in the nick of time."

14:34 - Social life impact: "My social life... was Golders Green Crematorium."

15:38 - Emotional detachment: "I didn't seem to get too stressed by what I... wonder, is it all suppressed?"

16:05 - Treatment transformation: "It's wonderful... it really changes everything."

16:41 - Current health: "HIV causes me no problems whatever."

17:10 - Disbelief at longevity: "I wouldn't have believed it... I can put it aside as being a kind thought."

19:29 - NHS appreciation: "Relies very heavily on people believing very much in what they're doing."

20:08 - U=U significance: "Wonderful idea that people no longer need to be fearful of having a relationship."

21:03 - Remembering Malcolm: "I was in love with him... all the time for 16 years."

23:35 - Final goodbye: "I said quietly in his ear, it's all right, love. You can go. I'll be all right without you."

25:06 - Funeral tribute: "I've never heard anything so wonderful about love."

25:26 - Final wisdom: "Enjoy life, be happy. Don't worry about challenges you can't achieve."

• Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
• Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
• The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
• Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health services.
• PrEPster - Community-led PrEP (HIV prevention pill) education project. Offers clear and inclusive info for diverse audiences across the UK.
• National AIDS Trust - A UK policy and campaigning organisation dedicated to ending HIV stigma and promoting effective HIV policies.
• aidsmap - A trusted source for up-to-date, evidence-based information on HIV. Great for learning about treatment, living with HIV, and current research.
• Terrence Higgins Trust - The UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity. Offers support, testing info, prevention resources (PrEP), and education materials.
• In the Key of Q - Podcast celebrating Queer musicians and their stories, also produced by Dan Hall.

Matthew Hodson represents one of Britain's most influential voices in HIV and LGBTQ+ activism, having lived openly and "shamelessly" with HIV for nearly three decades.

His journey began in the 1980s when coming out coincided with the emergence of AIDS, leading him to frontline activism against Section 28 and homophobic legislation. After avoiding testing for years due to fear and the lack of effective treatment, Matthew received his HIV diagnosis in 1997, just as combination therapy was revolutionising care. His transformation from someone carrying HIV as a shameful secret to becoming a leading advocate illustrates the power of visibility and self-acceptance.

As Chief Executive of Gay Men Fighting AIDS, Matthew championed honest conversations about viral load and treatment as prevention, challenging the "condoms only" orthodoxy years before U=U became accepted science. His landmark achievement as the first openly HIV-positive chair of a major AIDS conference in 2021 represents both personal triumph and overdue recognition that "nothing about us without us" should include leadership roles.

Matthew's story demonstrates how activism can transform not just society, but the activist themselves.

03:12 - Early sexual awakening: "I took myself off to Heaven... and rid myself of my gay virginity."

04:13 - First AIDS documentary: "I sat down there... watch this documentary called The Killer in the Village... this is so far confined to gay men, particularly in America."

04:48 - Mother's reaction to coming out: "The first thing she said to me was, well, I expect you'll get AIDS and die then."

06:13 - Section 28 catalyst: "Section 28... I felt like I was forced out of the closet by Section 28."

07:43 - Peak homophobia: "The peak of homophobia was 1986, 1987... 75% of people believing that homosexuality was always or almost always wrong."

09:07 - Direct action: "We went down Fleet Street with pink paint and daubed pink triangles everywhere."

10:53 - Manchester march significance: "That was the largest ever gay rights protest gathering anywhere in the world."

12:13 - Avoiding testing: "I thought if someone told me that I was HIV positive now, I think I would just kill myself."

15:45 - 1996 Vancouver conference: "Changed everything... we can treat HIV."

16:43 - Testing experience: "You meet the profile of someone who will test positive."

17:35 - Diagnosis moment: "You've got about 20 years to live... those words... echoed in my head for days and days."

18:53 - Limited time perspective: "You've got a limited period to get things done. Now, what do you want to do with these precious years?"

21:07 - HIV stigma analysis: "If HIV most affected white, cis, straight men... there never would have been any HIV stigma."

23:02 - Sex-positive messaging: "Gay sex. Good. We like it. We enjoy it."

25:44 - Viral load messaging: "That use a condom every time message hadn't worked."

29:19 - Living shamelessly: "All of my fear and shame, my self stigmatising, has been washed away."

32:28 - Going public: "I press send... it was like jumping off a high board... let's just make sure I enter the water with grace."

34:39 - Early disclosure strategy: "I will try and find a way to get my HIV status into that conversation really early on."

36:51 - U=U amazement: "The risk is zero... how wonderfully astonishing is that?"

38:10 - Reclaiming slurs: "Every time you take something that is used against you and you make it into your own armour, it loses its power to hurt you."

39:20 - Historic achievement: "It still took until 2021... the first openly HIV positive chair."

41:32 - Ageing privilege: "Ageing is a privilege... denied to many people living with HIV."

47:22 - Final message: "If there's a change in the world which you want to see, be a part of that creation."

1. Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
2. Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
3. The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
4. Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health services.
5. PrEPster - Community-led PrEP (HIV prevention pill) education project. Offers clear and inclusive info for diverse audiences across the UK.
6. National AIDS Trust - A UK policy and campaigning organisation dedicated to ending HIV stigma and promoting effective HIV policies.
7. aidsmap - A trusted source for up-to-date, evidence-based information on HIV. Great for learning about treatment, living with HIV, and current research.
8. Terrence Higgins Trust - The UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity. Offers support, testing info, prevention resources (PrEP), and education materials.
9. In the Key of Q - Podcast celebrating Queer musicians and their stories, also produced by Dan Hall.

Anthony Bird's HIV journey began dramatically in 1995 when he went from seroconversion to hospitalisation with PCP in just 4-5 months, an unusually rapid progression that fascinated medical consultants.

Working as a graphic designer in London and deeply embedded in the vibrant gay club scene centred around Brixton's legendary Fridge nightclub, Tony's diagnosis came at 28 during the height of the pre-combination therapy era.

His story captures the terror of thinking he wouldn't live to see 30, watching 30,000 balloons released at Pride representing AIDS deaths whilst believing one would represent him the following year. Yet Tony's experience stands apart from many others in its lack of shame or secrecy - his hospitalisation made his status obvious to friends, and he found himself surrounded by HIV-positive activists who provided community rather than isolation.

From near-death to the miraculous transformation brought by combination therapy, Tony's journey continues to the present day where he's found unexpected joy in ballroom dancing, describing himself as happier than at any point in his life whilst living with HIV as mere background noise.

03:11 - Rapid onset: "I had what was a pretty classic seroconversion... two weeks off work because what felt like a really bad flu."

04:34 - Unable to work: "My last day at work... I didn't have the strength to put my boots on and walk downstairs."

05:17 - Dramatic weight loss: "By the time I was admitted to hospital, I'd gone down to seven and a half stone."

06:29 - Hospital relief: "I think I was just mainly feeling relief that finally someone was taking this seriously."

06:48 - Understanding the implications: "We think you've got PCP. Are you aware of the implications of that?... I knew exactly what the implications were."

09:37 - No confidence in treatment: "I had no confidence in the medication that was available... you develop resistance pretty quickly."

09:37 - Age and mortality: "I can remember... I said, I'm not going to live until I'm 30."

11:24 - The Fridge club scene: "I was absolutely obsessed with going to the Fridge listening to house music until six in the morning."

13:27 - Public diagnosis: "Because of the nature of my diagnosis... All my friends knew I was HIV positive."

14:47 - Family shame: "That was the sense of shame I felt... I'd let my parents down."

18:18 - Extreme blood results: "My viral load was way up in the 2 million, 3 million mark, my CD4 count was less than ten."

19:28 - Pride balloon release: "Each balloon represented someone who died of AIDS... I can remember thinking, next year one of those balloons is going to be me."

21:08 - Lasting damage: "I got shingles twice... the damage it did to my left eye means that I'm still blind in my left eye."

22:40 - Hearing about combination therapy: "People were just astounded by just how successful the trial had been."

24:08 - Medical breakthrough: "My consultant literally skipping down the corridor with the results. She was so pleased."

26:06 - Ongoing side effects: "Those early HIV drugs... some of the side effects are still pretty grim sometimes."

28:50 - Dating and disclosure: "I could put my HIV status up on my profile... other HIV positive men would see that and contact me."

36:35 - Ballroom dancing discovery: "If there is one regret I have, it's that I didn't go to a dance class when I was in my 20s."

38:22 - Finding community: "It's the most home I felt in a community in my life."

39:09 - Current reality: "It's pretty much normal for a gay man in his late 50s... has very little effect on my life."

40:23 - Present happiness: "I'm happier now than I have been at any point in my life."

41:33 - Final wisdom: "Keep an open heart and an open mind... that's the best way for staying young."

• Other work from Producer Dan Hall.
• Positively UK - A peer-led organisation offering support and advice for people living with HIV, including women, youth, and migrants.
• The Love Tank - An organisation focusing on wellbeing of queer communities, especially Black and brown people, through projects like PrEPster and The Grass Is Always Grindr.
• Positive East - London-based support centre offering HIV testing, counselling, community outreach, and health services.
• PrEPster - Community-led PrEP (HIV prevention pill) education project. Offers clear and inclusive info for diverse audiences across the UK.
• National AIDS Trust - A UK policy and campaigning organisation dedicated to ending HIV stigma and promoting effective HIV policies.
• aidsmap - A trusted source for up-to-date, evidence-based information on HIV. Great for learning about treatment, living with HIV, and current research.
• Terrence Higgins Trust - The UK’s leading HIV and sexual health charity. Offers support, testing info, prevention resources (PrEP), and education materials.
• In the Key of Q - Podcast celebrating Queer musicians and their stories, also produced by Dan Hall.