Holding On and Moving Forward

Holding On and Moving Forward

By What About Now?Health & FitnessMental Health
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Holding On and Moving Forward episodes

  • Nature Vs.Nurture - Why I Carried It Alone

    “Nature vs. nurture” makes it sound like there’s a winner. In my life, both shaped me—and so did a quiet rule I learned young: don’t share, just get on with it. In this episode, I tell the story of how that rule became my armour and my isolation. I carried it into every room—family, friendships, work—until speaking up felt dangerous and staying silent felt like strength. I share the seasons where I thought I’d been chosen, the moment that illusion cracked, and the narrowing that followed: the cold logic that convinced me nobody would care if I disappeared. This isn’t a blame story. It’s a context story—about longing to be wanted without being seen as a problem, and about what it costs to carry everything alone. If any part of this sounds like you, I hope you feel less alone here.


    Content note: Mentions suicidal thoughts and an attempt (no graphic detail). UK support in notes.


    Resources (UK): Samaritans 116 123 (24/7) • Text SHOUT to 85258 (24/7) • NHS 111 for urgent mental health help • PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 0800 068 4141 (under 35). In an emergency, call 999.


    If this episode helped, share it or leave a review to support What About Now?

    16 min
  • When “Enough” is Never Enough

    A reflective, no-checklist conversation about conditional approval and the ache of trying to please people who won’t be pleased. We talk about the whiplash of “I’m proud of you… but,” why hope keeps sending us back, and the relief of stopping the audition for love. Gentle, honest, and human—this one’s about remembering you were never hard to love.

    18 min
  • They’re Still Only Children

    This episode sits with the uncomfortable truth: sometimes our struggles spill over and children end up standing in the puddles. We talk about the moments they shouldn’t have had to know, the times we took our eye off the ball, and why “wise beyond their years” isn’t always a compliment. No to-do list—just an honest, compassionate look at impact over intent, presence over perfection, and the promise to let kids be kids.

    17 min
  • Recognising Emotional Burnout

    In this second episode of the Protecting Your Peace mini-series, we explore a kind of exhaustion that often goes unnoticed — the weight of emotional labour.


    I share honestly about the invisible work of carrying other people’s feelings, always being “the strong one,” and the way this hidden load slowly builds into burnout.


    Together, we’ll look at:

    ✨ What emotional labour really looks like — and why it’s so hard to spot

    ✨ How burnout creeps in quietly before you even realise it’s happening

    ✨ Gentle, practical steps to recognise your limits and protect your energy

    ✨ Why you are not failing — you may simply be emotionally exhausted


    This is an episode for anyone who feels drained without knowing why, who dreads small requests, or who silently holds everything together while slowly coming undone.


    Because protecting your peace isn’t just about boundaries — it’s about learning to put down what was never yours to carry.

    16 min
  • Protecting Your Peace: Learning to Say No Without Guilt

    In this opening episode of the Protecting Your Peace mini-series, I explore one of the hardest but most necessary parts of healing — learning how to say no without drowning in guilt.


    We start with an honest check-in about what happens when we fall back into old patterns of people-pleasing and over-giving, and how easy it is to lose ourselves while trying to be “good” for everyone else.


    Through gentle reflection and lived experience, I unpack why saying no can feel like rejection, how guilt shows up inside the body, and why we so often prioritise other people’s comfort over our own peace.


    I also share practical, compassionate steps for starting to set boundaries — from asking for time before responding, to reminding yourself that “no” doesn’t mean “I don’t care”.


    This is a conversation for anyone who feels tired, stretched thin, or quietly resentful — and needs the reminder that protecting your peace is not selfish… it’s essential.

    16 min
  • Learning to Live Outside of Survival Mode

    For so many of us, survival isn’t just something we went through — it’s something our bodies learned.

    Years of stress, trauma, instability or crisis can rewire the nervous system to see danger even when none exists.


    In this episode, we explore what happens when life finally becomes calm… and it doesn’t feel safe.


    Why do peaceful moments feel unfamiliar?

    Why do we keep searching for something to go wrong — even when everything is okay?

    And how do we begin to unlearn that constant state of high alert?


    Through honest reflection and gentle prompts, we talk about:

    • Living in fight-or-flight for years

    • The discomfort of calm after chaos

    • How to recognise when your brain is “searching”

    • Practising safety, rest, and acceptance in real time


    If you’ve ever struggled to relax because things are going well — this episode is for you.

    15 min
  • The Weight of Suicide: on Both Sides

    The Weight of Suicide: On Both Sides

    Suicide is one of the hardest conversations we’ll ever have — but it’s one we can’t keep avoiding.

    In this deeply personal episode, we explore the reality of suicide from both perspectives: being the one in that place, and being the one left behind. We talk about why it’s so hard to discuss, the messy truth of the aftermath, the myths that cause harm, and the moments that stay with you forever.

    This is an honest, unfiltered conversation about pain, love, anger, and the complexity of healing — because the only way to break the silence is to speak.

    16 min
  • When Coping Becomes Part of the Problem

    We all have ways of getting through the hardest days — the habits, distractions, or escapes that help us survive. But what happens when the very things keeping you afloat start pulling you under?


    In this episode, we explore the messy truth about coping mechanisms: how they can protect us in the moment, yet slowly hurt us over time. We talk about why it’s so hard to let go of unhealthy patterns, how to recognise when your “go-to” is causing more harm than good, and what it really takes to build healthier ways of managing life’s pain.


    This isn’t about shame — it’s about awareness, compassion, and small, brave steps towards change. Because your coping might have kept you alive, but you deserve tools that help you truly live.


    đź’¬ Trigger warning: This episode discusses trauma, mental health struggles, and self-destructive behaviours. Please listen at your own pace.

    16 min
  • Don’t Make Me Prove It


    Not ill enough.

    That’s what I was told after trying to end my life.


    In this deeply personal episode, I share the story behind my new campaign — Don’t Make Me Prove It — and why one chance to ask for help should be enough. From being turned away in crisis to the dangerous message that “next time, do it properly,” I talk openly about the failures in our mental health system that are costing lives every day.


    This isn’t just my story — it’s the story of countless people who have been told they don’t qualify for urgent help until it’s nearly too late. And it’s time for that to change.


    I’ll walk you through the uncomfortable truths we need to face, the three urgent demands of this campaign, and how you can be part of the fight for reform.


    Because our mental health system isn’t a safety net — it’s a coin toss. And too many of us are losing.


    Content warning: This episode contains discussion of suicide and self-harm. Please listen with care.

    12 min
  • Still Here

    In this deeply honest episode, we explore the messy, complicated reality of holding on when life feels heavy. From the quiet exhaustion that comes after crisis to the unexpected confusion of finding safety, this is a conversation about the parts of healing we don’t talk about enough.


    We talk about the moments when asking for help feels harder than pretending to be okay, the pull of old coping mechanisms, and the strange comfort that chaos can hold — not because it was good, but because it was familiar.


    If you’ve ever felt lost after leaving survival mode… if you’ve struggled to offer yourself the same compassion you’d give someone else… if you’ve wondered who you are without the battles you’ve fought — this episode is for you.


    Because even when healing feels slow, even when you can’t be gentle with yourself yet, the fact that you’re still here is enough.

    19 min

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