Hollywood Week

Ladies & Gentlemen, if you are in the mood for crude and vulgar insults, bloody assassination attempts, and maniacal cackling that can only be brought on by strong (strong) prescription meds...then good news...it's ELECTION SEASON!

...But if you're looking for a healthy and light hearted distraction, then Marvel is COOKING with their latest offering, "Deadpool & Wolverine"! The movie is a box office juggernaut and a cultural phenomenon, but more importantly it's a much needed WIN for the struggling MCU. We obviously enjoyed the movie...but how much?? LET'S DISCUSS

BUT WAIT...there's more! We also got some very eventful and very uneventful news coming out of Comic Con and D23...Robert Downey Jr. is back????? Harrison Ford is a red Hulk??? "Thunderbolts" is a....movie...that is coming out??

Let's break it down like that Australian lady at the Olympics

Ladies & Gentlemen, the summer movie season has officially kicked off and the box office is looking more dire than my Chipotle decimated beach body.

We are definitely discussing the troubles that movie theaters are facing, but more importantly we're diving into the month of May and talking about fall guys, apes, lasagna loving felines, and post-apocolyptic hellscapes (not Oakland).  We're also pulling out a couple GEMS from the month of April since it's been so long since our last warm embrace.

Fire up the grill and put on the classic 2000 N'Sync album "No Strings Attached", because it's gonna be...MAY...recap...

Ladies & Gentlemen...

DUNE: PART 2
THE REVIEW
that is all

"POWER OVER SPICE IS POWER OVER ALL"

Ladies & Gentlemen, many of you doubted this day would come…many of you doubted that we had the sheer WILL POWER and DETERMINATION to record this ~3 hour~year end~spectacular…but many of you were wrong

This is it! Despite the delay, it’s time to reflect on 2023 and not only count down our TOP TEN FILMS of the year, but also hand out the often imitated but never duplicated HOLLYWOOD WEEK AWARDS!

Along with falling off of my roof while hanging Christmas lights and saying politically incorrect things at Thanksgiving, this is my favorite annual tradition.

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES! COME ON!

"Alright stop...ANTICIPATE AND LISTEN"
--Vanilla Ice, 1990

That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's time for everyone's favorite annual tradition! Let's bury the past and look to the future as we discuss some of the biggest movies of 2024. Does Marvel have anything left for us to get hyped on? Does "Dune Pt. 2" win by default? Is Kasen going to try and bring up some goofy nerd sh*t?!

ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN

The Roman Empire...The McDonald's .99 Double Cheeseburger...my ability to adequately host a podcast...all great things will come to an end, and this includes the once untouchable "Marvel Cinematic Universe".

It was the best of times, and it's currently the worst of times for Kevin Feige and the MCU.  Disney + content is diluting the brand with mediocre series, the movies have been wildly inconsistent and convoluted, and "The Marvels" just made slightly less money than my elementary school's D.A.R.E. fundraiser in 1994, and it was also terrible and immediately forgotten.  Dark times, but it's always darkest before the dawn...right?? Right everyone? Please God tell me dawn is coming!

We are gathered here for this very special episode to discuss "The Marvels", discuss how to save the MCU, and discuss the future projects and what they need to accomplish to steer this sinking ship back to respectability.  Just like my father said to me when I turned 13...it's time for a tough conversation.

LET'S SAVE THE MCU

Ladies & Gentlemen...it's hot...

It's TOO hot for me to attempt anything witty or humorous or thoughtful...but we all know what time it is...

HOLLYWOOD WEEK
SUMMER 2023 RECAP 

Ladies & Gentlemen, let's all imagine it's 2013 and you're in the board room at Marvel Studios...Kevin Feige sips his espresso while pointing his taser at you and says "PITCH ME...and SELL ME"

As you sit there trembling, your brain starts firing off random synapses and your mouth has no choice but to speak the absurdity into existence...

"Talking Raccoon!!"
"Vin Diesel is a Tree!"
"WWE Superstar Dave Bautista!"
"Zoe Saldana Green Alien Woman!!"
"Ummmm...Dumbass Guy From the Hit NBC Comedy "Parks & Rec"!!!!"

It's been an amazing journey over the last 9 years, but we have finally arrived at the end..."Guardian of the Galaxy: Vol 3" not only has a lot riding on it because it's the swan song to this story, but it also has a lot riding on it given the current state of the MCU. Does it deliver? Where are we ranking it? Only one way to find out...

Grab your zarg nuts and get ready to party...it's THE REVIEW

Ladies & Gentlemen...they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and just when you think your beautiful hearts couldn't grow any fonder, we..are..BACK!

We have so much to talk about so it only makes sense this is one of the longest episodes we've ever recorded...as you go on this epic marathon journey with us, recapping the last few months of movies, television, and news stories...remember to hydrate, remember to take bathroom breaks (unless wearing an adult diaper), and remember to text/message us about how the podcast is too long. Time stamps are below for anyone that wants to cheat!

ENJOY THE RECAP BURGER, LET'S KETCHUP

5:54 - 65
11:18 - Shazam: Fury of the Gods
17:52 - Scream 6
26:49 - Creed 3
36:13 - Cocaine Bear
39:02 - Air
43:11 - Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
49:37 - Beau is Afraid
1:01:01 - John Wick: Chapter 4
1:14:07 - The Super Mario Bros Movie

1:32:55 - Will Nintendo Create Their Own Cinematic Universe?
1:46:55 - Is Jonathan Majors Career Over?
1:57:34 - Is a New "Harry Potter" Series a Good Idea?

2:10:03 - Ted Lasso (season 3)
2:16:08 - Succession (season 4)
2:18:50 - Beef
2:25:43 - Mrs Davis
2:36:07 - The Last of Us



 

Ladies & Gentlemen, the time has come to review and rank the 31st film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe...the epic beginning of Phase 5...Martin Scorsese's most anticipated of the year...it's time for QUANTUMANIA!

SCOTT LANG vs CONQUEROR KANG

KATE FROM "LOST" vs KANG THE BOSS

HANK PYM vs KANG GOES TO THE GYM

JANET VAN DYNE vs. KANG CONTROLS TIME