Halloween, like everything else in 2020, is different this year. That sucks. Not that it’s on the list of most meaningful holidays but certainly it’s near the top of the list of fun ones, and we all could use a little more fun right now.

The funnest part of Halloween is, of course, permission to dress up in costumes and spend a few hours indulging the fantasy that you are someone else. When you’re a child I think it’s such a wonderful thing to dream of becoming someone or being the superhero or the pirate or the prince or princess. There’s something aspirational about a lot of halloween costumes.

Not so much for adults though. We don’t play dress up as often as kids and even when we do it’s not so aspirational. Unlike our kids we’re all caught up in the burdens and responsibilities of surviving right now, which makes us no fun at all. And on top of that, dreaming about being something or someone else at our age can be kinda depressing. We may not want to be reminded of the person we were supposed to be but aren’t, or the thing we were “born to do” but aren’t doing.

“Well, thanks Dean. That took a sad turn.”

No, no, I didn’t mean for it to. You see, I’m not sure I’ve ever liked the idea of being “born to do a thing.” I’m not sure it’s fair to say that this current occupation or that occupation or this situation or that situation is the thing you were born to do it. Especially since life is so fickle and changeable and you never know how long a season of life, be it good or bad, is going to last.

And I also think there’s danger in over identifying or connecting your worth or identity to a particular outward circumstance. What if something happens that renders you unable to continue in the profession you were supposedly “born to do”? Does that mean you are no longer you? Too many of us get too wrapped up in those kinds of stories.

So for me, I’ve settled on the notion that what I was “born to do” is live. And what that means is at any given moment in time I should try to find myself doing what makes me feel most alive. The kinds of things that when I’m doing them I can honestly say “when I do this thing I feel very much very me.”

I don’t know if I was “born“ to design houses, or be on the radio, or be an artist or an armchair philosopher or a husband, or a father or grandfather or raise chickens or a maker of things … but I can tell you this … right now when I do those things I feel very much me.

So while I don’t embrace the idea that any one of us was necessarily “born to do” one particular thing, I do believe that we were all born to be alive and to be is fully alive as we can possibly be.

So here’s a Halloween resolution for 2020: In the time of Covid or at any other time, don’t let yourself be haunted by any story of what your life is supposed to look like … especially your own story. Life is too big and too beautiful for just one costume. And opportunities to be you are hiding at every turn.

So stop haunting your own life. You’re not a ghost yet. So be alive today.

You be you. Do what makes you feel most you.

And you know what?

No matter how your story has turned out so far, you can still build yourself a beautiful life.