Honestly Lisa

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/ ""

I love Robbie Rist! He is my creative soulmate! We both are excellent at self-sabotage and laughing at our ass crazy lives.

He is my Love Bite Partner, the Yin to my Yan, my everything and smart monkey. I am very emotional today so this is why the last line exists.

We talked about---

Radio commercials

Finding myself and letting people in

Robbie talks about the 10 Commandments

Bay City Rollers

Networking

The Outsider

Why we work.

Lazy

Career

Have you ever hung out with an agent?

"I'm an actor thing"

Lone Wolf

Sending Thank You notes.

"I was at my boyfriends last night in his lone wolf apartment."

Robby and I sing a song together at the end.

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/ ""

Today I needed to just touch base with you and give you an old chestnut.

Are we moving forward? Am I grown up yet!!!!

Can you participate? Am I to needy?

This is a little recap of my podcast journey to finding me so far, with a wild over share of my sex life and my heart.

Help me on my quest! Who do YOU think I should interview next?

"What is my meal that I want to feed to the World?" - Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa

Who am I? Can you tell me?

"I digress into smelliness." - Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa

Previously on Honestly Lisa:

070: I Married My High-School Sweetheart feat. Lee Cuellar

068: Reloaded feat. Paula Killen

066: He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother! feat. Haris and Mike Orkin

064: Political Activism on Speed Dial feat. Jane Edith Wilson

062: I'm Not Lazy, I'm Self Employed feat. Antonio Sacre

060: Can Hypnotherapy Save Lisa from Her Procrastination Problem? feat. Carmen Isais

058: Can You be Mediocre and Still be Successful? Sheep are Happy Too feat. Nikki Tanyika Lewis

056: Love Your Bad Thoughts, Like a Piece of Chocolate feat. Melody Park Shin

054: Doctor it Hurts When I Do This feat. Philippe Coudoux

052: Instructions for Breathing feat. Rina Jakubowicz

050: How Do You Want to Die? feat. Dr. Martha Joe Atkins

048: Who's in Charge Here? feat. Share Ross

046: Are You There God? It's me Lisa feat. Rabbi Jim Kaufman

044: Love Your Inner Cat Lady because She's A Goddess feat. Renee Starr

042: A Primal Scream feat. Suzanne Whang

"I drink green drinks, why can't I find a normal man?!" -Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa

I call the story at the end, Jesus and handcuffs: What's my Pez?

"My curiously minty vagina spoke for me." -Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa #altoid

"Do you ever have fantasies of tying your lovers up and performing Altoid cunnilingus?" -Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa

070: I Married My High-School Sweetheart feat. Lee Cuellar

"time made me stronger, you're no longer on my mind"

― Boyz II Men

I interviewed my ex-husband… wanted dig into his head to see if there were clues to my quest to find me. And find his take on our marriage. I think I was not as kind to him and was really about getting as opposed to giving. It could have been youth but really I had a lot of growing up to do.

We were married 18 years.

Dated for 2 officially and were together for 4 years.

Separated twice and divorced once.

And finally ended in 2000.

And we still talk.

Met at Kaleidoscope Disco, I asked him to dance. He said no.

I am such a dork I thought his name was Woody for weeks.

A relationship built on bickering and great sex. I should send a bill for house training him.

Lee moved back to Jersey when we were 16. When we dropped him off at the airport this Alice Cooper song came on and we both got teary eyed.

The Alice Cooper song I referenced in the show was You and Me, but the song that actually played I think was How You Gonna See Me Now?

Visited him in New York and we got into Studio 54!

First place we lived was a crime scene apartment in Germany. There were numbers on the couch from the crime scene. Creepy.

Lee was watching the Olympics, I decided to put on something sexy. He couldn't stop laughing for a solid 10 minutes. Never again.

We decided to have a baby, went to Greece and drank Ouzo and she was conceived.

Perpetual chainsmokers that we were, we managed to both quit smoking when the rabbit died.

"Wait until she's a teenager, then she'll really start shitting on you." -Grandma Bunny #honestlylisa

Got a puppy right before having a baby, not the brightest idea to have a puppy and a baby at the same time.

I was probably fired 10 times in the first 10 years of our marriage, but I insisted on private school for our daughter.

I don't know how we managed to keep our marriage together, I was a terrible housekeeper, couldn't keep a job, and never wanted to have sex.

"Wow, was I mesmerized by her pussy!" -Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa

Our dog Sidney ran away, and she was gone for like 3 months. Then I found her at the pound by accident one day. I lost my mind, Sidney lost her mind!

When I met Lee's new wife at our daughter's graduation, I had just gone spelunking and my legs were covered in bruises and scrapes. There she was, looking perfectly put together and there I was in a sundress and cowboy boots and bloody legs.

Lee set me on the path to be a comedian, about 5 years into our marriage he turned to me and said "Wow, you're really funny!".

We separated once and got back together. The second time we separated it was hellacious.

It ended really hideously, but it needed to so we could both grow.

"You can't put the shit back in the donkey." -Lee Cuellar #honestlylisa

Did a musical together while living in Germany - The Boyfriend

"Live your life, and be happy." -Lee Cuellar's advice to his daughter #honestlylisa

Questions for Lee:

If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would it be?

Lee: Elvis or Teddy Roosevelt.

How do you see yourself dying?

Lee: Underneath the wife, screwed to death.

What is your favorite bush?

Lee: A carefully trimmed one.

"Knock it off or I'm going to hide your teeth!" A loving exchange between Lee's Mom and Dad #honestlylisa

We eloped and were married by a Joyce Bulifant look alike in a little White Chapel in Vegas. We couldn't afford Elvis. Didn't tell my parents until they found my marriage certificate. Whoops.

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Honestly Lisa is an audio road trip through my soul... or just an excuse to talk to people to help figure out who I am at 53ish.

I talk to everyone from ex-boyfriends, lovers, family member to comedians, writers, filmmakers, mystics, guru's in the hopes of finding a path that feels right for my life.

My hope is in my quest for enlightenment/happiness/peace/contentment my conversations will help you feel better about your life.

I love comments and feedback! And don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

Please feel free to share and leave a comment on itunes. I love when you do!

========================================­­===

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

"You can carry nothing really easily." -Paula Killen

Charity Event the second Monday of every month called "Write Club"

-Paula dated a guy who shared a birthday with Ronald Reagan. On his birthday he decided he wanted to piss on Reagan's grave, so he brought a bottle of pee to pour on his grave. Then they ran.

-Michael was bad as a boyfriend but Jim was worse.

-Your partnership is a mirror of where you're at in life

-It was 10 year relationship where the guy couldn't commit. And then he did and I didn't.

-Lisa lost her sense of humor in the breakup with Jim

-Paula took 5 years off of dating...

"To have someone who looked after me was like the coziest sweater." -Paula Killen

-Don't watch the news, just makes you sad and angry

-Sometimes I feel like I just want to run away

-Paula asks: "Have you ever had sex with someone you weren't attracted to?"

-Sex in your dreams has to be better than real sex

-Younger girls are intrinsically willing to compromise, they want to be the girl that's cool with everything.

-Don't do The Moth

"Oh, she's so much more interesting than her picture." -Lisa on first seeing Paula

-My mom used to say, rip up those ugly pictures, so when people look back at you they can go look how pretty she was.

-There has been a man masturbating on my lawn in the mornings.

Links:

Xanax

Bikram Yoga

Girls

Orange is the New Black

Late Show with David Letterman

The Comedy Store

VEEP

Enlightened

Transparent

Dreyfus Fund

iO West Improv

Name Dropping:

Janet Reno

Bernie Sanders

Hillary Clinton

Gloria Steinem

Louis C.K

Woody Allen

Jay Leggett

Roseanne Barr

Sarah Silverman

Maria Bamford

Amy Schumer

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Marc Maron

Laura Dern

Wanda Sykes

Norman Lear

Robbie Rist

Dick Orkin

Jill Soloway

Eileen Myles

Cherry Jones

Jack Nicholson

Angelica Huston

Adam Goldberg

Dweezil Zappa

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Honestly Lisa is an audio road trip through my soul... or just an excuse to talk to people to help figure out who I am at 53ish.

I talk to everyone from ex-boyfriends, lovers, family member to comedians, writers, filmmakers, mystics, guru's in the hopes of finding a path that feels right for my life.

My hope is in my quest for enlightenment/happiness/peace/contentment my conversations will help you feel better about your life.

I love comments and feedback! And don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

Please feel free to share and leave a comment on itunes. I love when you do!

========================================­­===

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

I talked to my brothers this week! Who knows me better? Really!

They were forthright with opinions and I am not sure they know me that well. Or do they?

They are funny and charming and full of thoughts about my life and why I am who I am.

Haris is the oldest and yes he spells it with one R. My parents did not know it was spelled with two,

Mike is between us both… I am not the baby though, there is one more of us.

We played houdini growing up and they tortured me and teased me! And they love me very much. I love them!

I think there is great insight in this podcast no matter who your siblings are… at some point my brothers forget we are recording and you get to peer in like a fly on the wall.

They would always help me out of a pickle!

"Success and failure are brothers, they become who they are because they never believed in each other." Kingston Ahaneku

Show Notes:

-James Bond

-Nehru Jackets

-Marty Feldman

-Madonna

"Noodles and Milk is like, noodles with milk in it…" -Mike Orkin #honestlylisa

Vocabulary Words:

-Dyscalculia

-Spinal Meningitis

What is your favorite bush?

Haris: Azalea

Mike: The Hanukkah Bush

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Honestly Lisa is an audio road trip through my soul... or just an excuse to talk to people to help figure out who I am at 53ish.

I talk to everyone from ex-boyfriends, lovers, family member to comedians, writers, filmmakers, mystics, guru's in the hopes of finding a path that feels right for my life.

My hope is in my quest for enlightenment/happiness/peace/contentment my conversations will help you feel better about your life.

I love comments and feedback! And don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

Please feel free to share and leave a comment on itunes. I love when you do!

========================================­­===

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

You can make a change.

Lisa gets a lesson in activism.

I always saw Jane as someone completely different, I saw her as a Polyanna. But she's not a Polyanna, she never was. Don't judge a Polyanna by her cover. The more I do this podcast, the more I learn that my perception of people or the stories I have perceived of people, are actually completely biased and what I want them to be. But the people themselves are actually so much better!

"I'm not concerned about hurting Donald Trump's feelings." -Jane Edith Wilson #honestlylisa

Follow Jane on Twitter!

Show Notes:

Temple Beth Hillel

NRA - National Rifle Association

Magpul

2012 Iowa Caucus

Tea Party

DREAM Act

Encyclopedia Brown

Claire's Boutique

Dawn Dolls

Hula Punch

Lark Cigarettes

Taco Bell Canon

"I'm a yogi and I eat meat, and that's like, a thing." -Lisa Orkin #honestlylisa

"To Lisa, the cry baby of the class" -An excerpt from Lisa's yearbook #honestlylisa

Jane's Causes:

Women Against Gun Violence

Turn the House Blue

Mom's Demand Action

Everytown USA

CRI-Help

Name Dropping:

Martin Luther King Jr.

Kevin Kline - Sophie's Choice

Michelle Bachman

Rick Perry

Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah

Dana Loesch

Ann Coulter

Joni Ernst

Howard Dean

Dennis Kucinich

Jules Feiffer

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Honestly Lisa is an audio road trip through my soul... or just an excuse to talk to people to help figure out who I am at 53ish.

I talk to everyone from ex-boyfriends, lovers, family member to comedians, writers, filmmakers, mystics, guru's in the hopes of finding a path that feels right for my life.

My hope is in my quest for enlightenment/happiness/peace/contentment my conversations will help you feel better about your life.

I love comments and feedback! And don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

Please feel free to share and leave a comment on itunes. I love when you do!

========================================­­===

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

"Naps are necessary, I bet even God took naps." - Lisa Orkin

"One man's lazy is another man's War and Peace." - Lisa Orkin

Antonio and I did short film together called, Mom. It's a dark comedy about losing my mom and finding refuge in a convent with some kind nuns and a handsome priest.

Here is an secret link to watch for those reading the show notes only. https://youtu.be/XS820PWyTaw

Antonio's Twitter: @antoniosacre

Antonio's Instagram

Antonio's Website

Mentioned in the show:

My Penis In and Out of Trouble - Antonio Sacre

Write Club LA

Chicken Man Show

Theatre Oobleck

Evernote

Hollywood Fringe

Junior Achievement

The Tony's

Name Dropping:

Paula Killan

Jenny Magnus

Lily Tomlin

Whoopi Goldberg

John Leguizamo

Danny Hoch

Antonio's Verbal Whore-Shack:

Fish - Grampy Keef

Lazy - Me

Spice - Cumin

Taco - Vomit

School - Kickball

China - Confused

Fire - Uncle Tom

Sausage - Salchicha

Sticker -My Daughter

Lens - Contact

Cuddle - You!

Rocket - Dog

Shadow - Superhero

Toes - Painted

Flower - Homemade Bread

Story - Ending

"I only write when I'm being paid to write, or if I have paid to write." - Antonio Sacre

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Honestly Lisa is an audio road trip through my soul... or just an excuse to talk to people to help figure out who I am at 53ish.

I talk to everyone from ex-boyfriends, lovers, family member to comedians, writers, filmmakers, mystics, guru's in the hopes of finding a path that feels right for my life.

My hope is in my quest for enlightenment/happiness/peace/contentment my conversations will help you feel better about your life.

I love comments and feedback! And don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

Please feel free to share and leave a comment on itunes. I love when you do!

========================================­­===

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

WARNING: Lisa gets hypnotized

"My evil genius Procrastination has whispered me to tarry 'til a more convenient season." Mary Todd Lincoln #honestlylisa

Carmen Isais took me on the Journey, Carmen is a Professional Life Coach, Facilitator & Trainer specializing in Integrative Coaching & Coaching Mentorship. There is more info about Carmen below.

So here's the deal, I didn't bawk like a chicken or moo like a cow! That would have been easier and less revealing.

Also, when I listened back, I noticed my voice actually shifted while I was hypnotized. I was very unsure whether I wanted to release this episode because it's makes me feel so vulnerable, but here it is. Sorry dad.

It felt more like a super relaxed trance state where new pathways revealed a part of my brain that I had closed off, taped off with duct tape, to stories from my past that I have held onto my whole life. Stories I twisted with age into the unconscious reasons to why I hold myself back in life by procrastinating....PLAYING IT SMALL.

PLAYING IT SMALL!

Stories I hold on to, like old sexy underwear at the bottom of my underwear drawer that I have not seen in 20 years and will never ever wear, but I let just hang out and take space. That was a shitty analogy! Like a takeout menu you still have even though the restaurant has closed 20 years ago that you find in a junk drawer and shove back into the junk drawer knowing damn well it's of no use. Fuck it! I have no analogies… just listen.

It's not writer's block! It's procrastination!

Hi. my name is Lisa and I am a lifelong PROCRASTINATOR.

Check out Carmen's Website here!

Join Carmen's 30 Day Gratitude Practice here

For today's listeners Carmen has shared a free self hypnosis audio walk through, listen here!

Show Notes:

SRA Tests

"It was the sixties, so the teachers were smoking cigarettes and drinking Tab." #honestlylisa

"I like to get my ideas out there, so I can connect with people."#honestlylisa

"My mind is much smarter than me."#honestlylisa

Vocabulary Words:

Interpersonal Neurobiology

Ego State Therapy

Parts Integration

TAB

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Honestly Lisa is an audio road trip through my soul... or just an excuse to talk to people to help figure out who I am at 53ish.

I talk to everyone from ex-boyfriends, lovers, family member to comedians, writers, filmmakers, mystics, guru's in the hopes of finding a path that feels right for my life.

My hope is in my quest for enlightenment/happiness/peace/contentment my conversations will help you feel better about your life.

I love comments and feedback! And don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

Please feel free to share and leave a comment on itunes. I love when you do!

========================================­­===

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/

On the outside looking in, Nikki looked to me like she has it all! And I wanted to know from Nikki why and if she could help get me get it all, relationship, business, crazy ass confidence and drive. Or just confidence.

I said outloud on the podcast twice that I have been thinking about marriage again. So if you see my boyfriend don't tell him I said that. Don't worry. He does not read the show notes or read my blog or listen to my podcast. Honestly he doesn't know about Honestly Lisa and I plan to keep it that way.

Nikki has found her purpose in life, and that purpose is business! Nikki is here to pursue business, to learn it, and to teach it to you!

Today I got to chat with the awesome Nikki Tanyika Lewis about everything from sheep and our love of Target, to becoming a successful entrepreneur.

Check out Nikki's Biz Underdog to Topdog blog and podcast here!

Find Nikki's Facebook page here.

Nikki has provided a freebie sample of her book The Ultimate Food Business Starter Guide, so check it out! If you want more, the ebook is available here (she even has an audiobook version available if you don't feel like reading).

Show Notes:

• What is Myer's Briggs?
• Brene Brown interviews Oprah

"If I could do a show at ten in the morning in a Target parking lot, that I think would be perfect." - Lisa Orkin

• Eggs and coffee in the morning, thanks to Tim Ferriss

"Even in the world of sheep…there must be one sheep that's in charge of all the other sheep." -Lisa Orkin

• Momentum - A Chrome extension
• Evernote
• Link for the Lucky Bitch book by Denise Duffield Thomas

Nikki's Verbal Rorschach:

Light - Heaven

Creation - God

Cookies - Yum

Tree - Rainbow

Chocolate - Tonight

Turmeric - Indian?

Love - Life

Computer - Dad

Kale - Fave

Levitation - Blaine (as in David Blaine)

Touch - Trey

Heart - Cupid

Spirit - Connected

Work - Love

Marshmallow - Ahhh

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Honestly Lisa is an audio road trip through my soul... or just an excuse to talk to people to help figure out who I am at 53ish.

I talk to everyone from ex-boyfriends, lovers, family member to comedians, writers, filmmakers, mystics, guru's in the hopes of finding a path that feels right for my life.

My hope is in my quest for enlightenment/happiness/peace/contentment my conversations will help you feel better about your life.

I love comments and feedback! And don't forget to check out honestlylisa.com, there is much more.

Please feel free to share and leave a comment on itunes. I love when you do!

========================================­­===

Recorded at Double RR Studios: http://doublerrstudios.com/

Go download my free eBook, BE SILLY NOW! http://honestlylisa.com/free-ebook/

Website: http://www.honestlylisa.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaorkin

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisaannorkin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lisaorkin

Pinterest:http://www.pinterest.com/lisaorkin/