Honey for Your Heart with Bryson Kessler

You asked, and Randy answers: how to tell when today's pain is touching an old wound, and what to do when your heart feels stuck even though your head understands.

In this bonus episode, Bryson brings your questions from the grief season to counselor Randy Hemphill, who answers them with warmth and practical wisdom. They cover grieving everyday disappointments, tracing big reactions back to their roots, and whether you need to confront the people who hurt you. They also talk about trusting God when prayers go unanswered and walking through anger and forgiveness after divorce.

Pick one recent disappointment or one old wound and bring it to God this week, then share this episode with a friend who's carrying more than they realize.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Welcome to the Bonus Q&A
• 01:47 What We Hope You Understand About Grief Now
• 03:43 Does Every Disappointment Need to Be Grieved?
• 06:02 When Today's Pain Touches an Old Wound
• 09:32 How to Find the Wound Underneath
• 11:52 Is Story Work Just Dwelling on the Past?
• 14:05 Do I Need to Confront the Person Who Hurt Me?
• 18:44 Trusting God When Your Prayer Wasn't Answered
• 24:52 Healthy Anger After Divorce
• 30:12 Forgiveness When You're Co-Parenting
• 32:16 Where Do I Go From Here?
• 35:04 Where to Get the Book
• 36:06 Closing Prayer

Links:

• Randy's book: randyhemphill.com/books
• Episode resources: randyhemphill.com/resources
• Instagram: @hemphillrandy | @shopcloverandbee | @honey_for_your_heart

Learn how to tell whether you've truly forgiven someone, and why forgiveness is where grief is meant to lead.

In this season finale, Bryson and counselor Randy Hemphill explain forgiveness as the removal of punishment, not consequences. They talk through forgiving people who never apologize, setting boundaries that aren't punishment, forgiving yourself, and even releasing the anger we hold against God. Bryson shares a deeply personal story of forgiveness, and Randy uses his Kilimanjaro climb to show why this final push of grief is worth it.

Think of one person you're still punishing and take one small step toward releasing them this week, then share this episode with someone who's carrying the same weight.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Forgiveness Opens Freedom
• 03:07 Defining True Forgiveness
• 04:26 Why Forgiveness Feels Hard
• 05:55 Punishment Versus Consequences
• 08:06 Boundaries With Forgiveness
• 11:02 Freeing Your Own Heart
• 22:18 Why Self Forgiveness Is Hard
• 23:24 Punishment Anxiety Addictions
• 25:32 Not Beyond Redemption
• 29:08 Practical Tools Prayer Journal
• 35:06 Ending The Story Well
• 36:22 Season Wrap Prayer

Links:

• Randy's book: randyhemphill.com/books
• Episode resources (Forgiveness Prayer and "Who Do I Need to Forgive" handout): randyhemphill.com/resources
• Instagram: @hemphillrandy | @shopcloverandbee | @honey_for_your_heart

Learn how to move from reacting in anger to expressing it in a way that strengthens your relationships instead of damaging them.

In this episode, Bryson and Randy get practical about healthy anger — defining it as emotional assertiveness, walking through how to set boundaries without exploding or imploding, and unpacking why opposite personality types (anger-doorway and sadness-doorway) need each other in relationships. They also dig into anger toward God, using Psalm 109 and Isaiah 57 to show how honest anger can lead to self-awareness and even worship.

If you've been holding your anger in — or letting it spill out sideways — try Randy's practice this week: write your own psalm of anger, moving from honesty to self-awareness to worship.

Chapter Timestamps

• 00:00 – Why Anger Matters
• 00:57 – Anger Is Not Enemy
• 01:57 – Healthy Versus Unhealthy
• 04:47 – Marriage And Opposites
• 06:32 – Boundaries Need Anger
• 08:34 – Story Work Patterns
• 11:50 – Fears About Anger
• 14:39 – Anger Toward God
• 17:26 – Psalm 109 Honesty
• 19:58 – Anger In Worship
• 22:00 – Emotional Honesty
• 22:54 – Prophets and Anger
• 24:48 – Isaiah 57 Healing
• 26:21 – Anger in Relationships
• 28:18 – Unity and Consequences
• 30:29 – Write Your Own Psalm
• 32:22 – Nighttime Release
• 35:06 – Prayer for Healing
• 38:45 – Forgiveness Next

Links

• 📖 Get the book, We Grieve Our Losses by Randy Hemphill: https://randyhemphill.com/books
• 📝 This week's Resources: https://randyhemphill.com/resources
• ✅ Follow Randy: https://www.instagram.com/hemphillrandy/
• ✅ Follow Clover + Bee: https://www.instagram.com/shopcloverandbee/
• ✅ Follow Honey for Your Heart: https://www.instagram.com/honey_for_your_heart/

Anger isn't a sin — it might be one of the most misunderstood gifts God gave you.

Bryson and counselor Randy dig into anger as it relates to grief: why it gets such a bad reputation, how it's actually rooted in love ("anger is love disappointed"), and the difference between healthy anger (emotional assertiveness) and its two unhealthy extremes — explosive and implosive. They also connect unprocessed anger to depression and anxiety, and talk through what it looks like to express anger well in marriage, friendship, and with God.

If you've spent your life believing anger is your biggest flaw, this episode might just reframe it as your greatest asset — pass it along to someone who needs that same freedom.

In this episode:

00:00 Anger Isn't the Enemy

00:43 Season Recap on Grief

01:56 Why Anger Feels Sinful

02:20 Anger as a Hammer

03:24 Love Disappointed

06:44 God's Anger vs Ours

08:52 Healthy Anger Is Assertive

10:14 Anger in Marriage Talks

13:58 Anger as Grief Companion

15:14 Boundaries Need Anger

16:21 Jesus And Anger

17:03 Anger Reveals Values

18:38 Parenting Doorways Balance

19:57 Let Anger Breathe

21:52 Exploding Vs Imploding

23:40 Anger Depression Link

26:03 Ephesians Four Framework

28:24 Reframing And Prayer

32:11 Closing And Next Episode

Links:

• 📖 Get the book, We Grieve Our Losses by Randy Hemphill: https://randyhemphill.com/books
• 📝 This week's Resources: https://randyhemphill.com/resources
• ✅Follow Randy: https://www.instagram.com/hemphillrandy/
• ✅ Follow Clover + Bee: https://www.instagram.com/shopcloverandbee/
• ✅ Follow Honey for Your Heart: https://www.instagram.com/honey_for_your_heart/

Expressing sadness isn't weakness — it might be one of the most worshipful things you do. In this episode, Bryson and Randy dig into why sadness feels like the harder emotion to access (especially for those wired toward anger or control), the generational and cultural lies many of us were handed about tears meaning weakness, and Randy's practical "blue journal" practice for safely naming grief in small containers of time. They close by walking through what it means to hold grief and gratitude together, and how Biblical hope lets a loss mark us without defining us.

If sadness has felt like something to avoid rather than express, let this be your invitation to set a 10-minute container this week and see what surfaces — and if it hits home, send it to a friend who needs permission to feel, too.

Chapter Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Why Sadness Matters
• 01:02 – Series Recap and Focus
• 02:07 – Why Sadness Feels Hard
• 03:00 – Unhealthy Messages Learned
• 04:33 – Generational and Male Tears
• 06:57 – Fears That Keep Us Silent
• 08:50 – The Cost of Suppression
• 10:49 – Grief and Gratitude Overlap
• 12:43 – When Gratitude Becomes Avoidance
• 15:27 – Lamentations 3 and Hope
• 17:56 – Lament Versus Complaining
• 19:03 – Job And The Psalms
• 20:55 – Emotions In Worship
• 21:56 – Practicing Sadness With God
• 23:51 – Making Space For Tears
• 26:04 – Blue Journal Containers
• 28:04 – Biblical Hope In Sorrow
• 30:06 – Prayer And Closing

Links:

• 📖 Get the book, We Grieve Our Losses by Randy Hemphill: https://randyhemphill.com/books
• 📝 This week's Assessment: https://randyhemphill.com/resources
• ✅Follow Randy: https://www.instagram.com/hemphillrandy/
• ✅ Follow Clover + Bee: https://www.instagram.com/shopcloverandbee/
• ✅ Follow Honey for Your Heart: https://www.instagram.com/honey_for_your_heart/

What if sadness isn't something to fear, but a doorway to healing?

Bryson and Randy continue their season on grief by digging into emotions — specifically, why sadness gets such a bad rap and what it actually does for us. They unpack Randy's concept of a "doorway emotion" (the one you default to — anger or sadness), why the emotion that isn't your doorway is usually the one you're most afraid of, and what happens when sadness gets buried instead of expressed.

If you've been avoiding sadness because it feels weak, this episode might just change your mind — and if it does, send it to a friend who needs permission to feel it too.

In this episode:

• 00:00 — Sadness as a Gift
• 00:28 — Episode Three Kickoff
• 00:52 — Recap and Today's Focus
• 01:20 — Why Emotions Feel Risky
• 02:39 — Doorways Not Destinations
• 03:09 — Finding Your Doorway Emotion
• 05:49 — What Sadness Really Does
• 06:30 — Fears of Sadness and Anger
• 08:07 — Avoiding Sadness Fuels Control
• 09:57 — Where Unfelt Sadness Goes
• 11:49 — Anxiety Depression Connection
• 12:21 — Depression and Anxiety
• 12:58 — Psalms and Lament
• 13:49 — God Wants Honesty
• 15:40 — Sibling Loss and Grief
• 17:59 — Jesus Wept Theology
• 19:26 — Doorway Emotion Quiz
• 21:30 — Prayer for the Listener
• 23:48 — Weekly Wrap and Next Week

Links:

• 📖 Get the book, We Grieve Our Losses by Randy Hemphill: https://randyhemphill.com/books
• 📝 This week's Assessment: https://randyhemphill.com/resources
• ✅Follow Randy: https://www.instagram.com/hemphillrandy/
• ✅ Follow Clover + Bee: https://www.instagram.com/shopcloverandbee/
• ✅ Follow Honey for Your Heart: https://www.instagram.com/honey_for_your_heart/

Not sure why you're carrying a low-grade anger or sadness you can't explain? This episode might tell you why.

Bryson and Randy dig into what actually qualifies as a loss — from everyday disappointments to the deeper "underlying wounds" from our families of origin — and why so many of us are grieving without realizing it. They unpack the difference between recent losses and older, unresolved wounds, why Randy believes grief is never fully "one and done," and how naming our losses honestly is where real healing starts.

If something in this episode named a feeling you couldn't place before, that's worth sitting with — and if you know someone who's been carrying something they can't quite explain, this episode might be the nudge they need.

In this episode:

00:00 Naming Hidden Grief

00:31 Why We Miss Loss

01:50 What Counts as Loss

03:24 Everyday Losses Matter

05:43 Seasons of Grief

09:09 Recent Losses vs Wounds

10:48 Signs of Old Wounds

12:56 Pivot Scenes and Mapping

14:34 God Near the Broken

16:09 Grief Deepens Intimacy

16:39 When Fatherhood Feels Unsafe

18:25 God Near the Brokenhearted

18:54 Misconceptions About Grief

20:04 Naming Losses One Step

21:24 Randy Shares His Story

24:11 Worksheets and Small Steps

25:59 Honesty Opens Healing

27:10 Encouragement and Prayer

28:59 Next Episode Doorway Emotions

Links:

• 📖 Get the book, We Grieve Our Losses by Randy Hemphill: https://randyhemphill.com/books

• 📝 Randy's Control Assessment: https://randyhemphill.com/resources

• ✅Follow Randy: https://www.instagram.com/hemphillrandy/

• ✅ Follow Clover + Bee: https://www.instagram.com/shopcloverandbee/

• ✅ Follow Honey for Your Heart: https://www.instagram.com/honey_for_your_heart/

If you've ever thought grief was only for funerals and major loss, this episode will change how you see your own daily life.

Bryson kicks off a new 8-episode season of Honey for Your Heart with her friend Randy Hemphill — congregational care pastor, counselor, and author of We Grieve Our Losses — as they lay the foundation for a season all about learning to grieve well. Together they unpack what grief actually is, why most of us were never taught how to do it, and the two most common ways we avoid it instead: hurry and control.

This one might sting a little, in the best way. Take Randy's control assessment linked below, be honest with yourself about where you land, and if this hit home, send it to a friend who needs permission to slow down too.

Chapters:

00:00 Why Grief Matters

00:38 Meet Randy and the Book

02:30 Defining Grief

03:46 Why We Need a Blueprint

05:08 Garage of the Heart

07:09 Grief as a Lost Discipline

08:39 Two Toxins Hurry and Control

09:12 Hurry and the Noisy Soul

11:36 Silence Solitude and Facing Loss

13:11 Mary and Martha Identity Check

16:07 Stillness in Grief

17:38 Grace Over Striving

18:26 Control and Avoidance

20:48 Outward vs Inward Control

23:09 Jacob Wrestles for Surrender

26:25 Practical Control Assessment

28:16 Prayer and Hope to Dream

30:40 Next Week What Am I Grieving

Links:

• 📖 Get the book, We Grieve Our Losses by Randy Hemphill: https://randyhemphill.com/books

• 📝 This week's Control Assessment: https://randyhemphill.com/resources

• ✅Follow Randy: https://www.instagram.com/hemphillrandy/

• ✅ Follow Clover + Bee: https://www.instagram.com/shopcloverandbee/

• ✅ Follow Honey for Your Heart: https://www.instagram.com/honey_for_your_heart/

What happens when you've done everything you know to do… and you're still tired? In this season finale of Honey For Your Heart, we're sitting in that honest question together. After a season of walking through grief, waiting, gratitude, hidden growth, and staying under mercy, this episode brings us back to the simplest—and hardest—invitation of all: dependence on God. Because spiritual maturity isn't about needing Him less. It's about realizing how deeply we need Him for everything. If you're feeling weary, unsure how to keep going, or wondering what comes next—this conversation will gently bring you back to what matters most. Not striving. Not figuring it all out. Just staying near. What We Talk About in This Episode

• Why exhaustion often comes from carrying what was never ours to hold
• The truth about spiritual growth (and why it leads to more dependence, not less)
• The tension between wanting understanding and choosing God's presence
• What we can learn from Joseph, Job, and the Israelites about trusting God in hard seasons
• Why gratitude and remembrance are essential to sustaining faith
• The power of "memorial stones" and why your hardest seasons matter
• How God uses the fire to burn away what was never meant to hold you
• Why your story is bigger than you—and how your faith impacts others
• What it really means to "stay under mercy" in everyday life

Key Scriptures

• Genesis 2–3 (The Garden: knowledge vs. intimacy)
• Job 38 (God's response to suffering)
• Isaiah 40:26 ("Lift up your eyes…")
• Joshua 4 (Memorial stones of remembrance)
• Daniel 3 (The fire that frees)
• Colossians 1:17 ("In Him all things hold together")

Key Takeaways

• You don't outgrow your need for God—you grow deeper into it.
• God's presence is often given in place of the understanding we want.
• Gratitude trains your eyes to see where God is already at work.
• The hardest places in your story may become the clearest evidence of His faithfulness.
• Growth isn't always visible—sometimes it looks like simply continuing to show up.
• You are not holding your life together—He is.

A Final Word If you're ending this season still tired… still waiting… still carrying questions— You're not behind. You're not failing. You're being formed. So don't strive harder. Don't try to hold it all together. Just stay near. Connect + Continue the Journey If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend who may need it too. And if you haven't already, be sure to follow along so you don't miss what's coming next. Closing Reminder You are seen. You are known. You are deeply loved. And you are never walking alone.

When Beth entered hospice, someone told her something that changed everything: "You are not preparing to die. You are preparing for your wedding." That single reframe shifted fear into anticipation and loss into longing. Because the Bible begins with a wedding in the garden…and ends with a wedding feast in eternity. From Genesis to Revelation, Scripture tells one unified story — a love story — where Christ is the Bridegroom and the Church is His Bride. In this episode, we explore what it means to live now as women preparing for that wedding. Drawing from:

• Genesis 2 (marriage in the garden)
• Isaiah 1:18 (white as snow)
• Ephesians 5 (Christ presenting a radiant bride)
• 2 Corinthians 5:21 (clothed in righteousness)
• Revelation 19 & 21 (the wedding supper of the Lamb)
• 1 John 4:18 (perfect love drives out fear)
• Isaiah 62 (watchmen on the wall)
• Matthew 22 & 25 (parables of the wedding feast and the bridegroom)

We unpack the profound truth that: You are not tolerated — you are pursued. You are not managing your way to heaven — you are clothed in grace. Love was made visible on the cross. Perfect love drives out fear and shame. When we truly understand that Christ sees us as a groom sees his bride — spotless because of His covering — something shifts. Fear loosens. Striving slows. Shame dissolves. And our lives begin to reflect that reality. This understanding changes how we live:

• We contend for the faith in daily prayer.
• We remind God of His promises — not because He forgets, but because we align our hearts with His Word.
• We devote ourselves to mission — inviting as many people as possible to the coming feast.
• We stop building our own empires and start building His kingdom.
• We rest in love instead of striving for approval.

This episode is an invitation to step into the bigger story. You are not preparing for an ending. You are preparing for a meeting. And that changes everything. Reflection Questions

1. Where am I still striving to earn love that has already been given?
2. What would it look like to live today as someone preparing for a wedding?
3. Where can I contend in prayer instead of controlling in fear?
4. Who in my life needs an invitation to the feast?

As we near the end of Season 3, this episode lifts our eyes beyond the sand, the fire, and the hidden seasons — and reminds us: Love wins. And the story ends in joy. Next week, we close the season with a deeply honest conversation: When You're Tired of Being Strong. Until then — You are seen. You are known. You are deeply loved. Companion Resources: Listening Guide Full Episode Study Guide 7 Day Companion Scripture Guide Small Group Discussion Guide