Honor Your Spark

Perfectionism is a sneaky little bitch. What makes me say that? Well, most of us wouldn’t actually SAY that we expect perfection of ourselves. That’s ridiculous, right?! Clearly we’re much smarter than that. 😜And yet… most of us nod along knowingly when we hear things like, “I brushed off the 20 positive comments and obsessed about the ONE negative comment.” If that’s not perfectionism, I don't know what is!

Too fat. Too skinny. Too much cellulite. Not enough muscle. Big butt? Ok, but better have a tiny waist. We are told every single day a MILLION ways that our bodies should NOT be. What the actual fuck, right? Between mainstream media, social media, and all the SuPeR heLpFuL comments our families and friends make— it’s no wonder we grow up with so much shame, anxiety and guilt around how we look and feel in our bodies. (And let’s mince no words about it, fat phobia is RACIST, too.) Just when it seemed like things were maaaybe heading in a positive direction the past few years— apparently “heroine chic” is IN again?. 😡😡CAN WE NOT.

Have you ever been curious about the difference between life coaching and therapy? Or wanted a peek behind the curtain with either one? If you just read an Instagram or blog post on “coaching vs therapy,” there’s a very strong chance it’s ridiculously oversimplified. “Therapists work on ‘problems’ rooted in the past, coaches work on goals for the future!” COOL. Except it ain’t that simple. Thankfully, Katie Read is joining me for this episode to help us unpack some of the complexity.  As you’ll hear, Katie is primarily speaking to therapists (since that’s the niche of peeps she serves), but a lot of what we talk about that translates WAY beyond that— and/or is just interesting for understanding the working lives of therapists.

How many times have you said to yourself or someone else, “OMG, I’m SO overwhelmed”?  Like… 10 times in the last week alone?! I get it, and I’ve absolutely been there— but it’s also something I’ve worked really hard to shift out of and into a more helpful, empowered mindset. And it’s a challenge my clients come to me with all the time: How can I stop feeling so overwhelmed??

It’s pretty cool that we’re living at a time when our culture is least *starting* to recognize that people (especially women) don’t cease to have value and worth as soon as they hit middle age. Of course, we still have a HELLUVA long way to go toward eliminating  ageism— but thanks to people like Jen Vertanen, we’re making progress.

As much as there arguably shouldn’t be such a thing as a #trendingdiagnosis 😂, we all know the internet has been BLOWING the F up with all things ADHD. And hey— if it helps people get the tools and support they need, I’m for it.

What comes up for you when you see these words? Bitch. Whore. Slut. Pussy. Are these words inherently bad, or do they only feel “bad” because they’ve been weaponized against women and used to control us?

In this episode, we’re diving into the 3 Qualities You Need to Cultivate to Saunter into Your Bad Bitch Era. I’ll also give you a clear action step for each that you can realistically do in the next 24 hours—or okay, take a few days… but the key is your actions should be small and simple enough that they could be done in the next 24 hours!

Welcome to the Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast! What does it actually mean to be a "Bad Bitch"? I’m Valerie Martin, licensed therapist, coach and your host— and if you’re asking me, it means being fully alive, unstoppable, kicking ass at the things that light you up, and being permanently unavailable for the things that make you feel like shit. In this podcast, we’ll explore mental & emotional wellness, strategies for getting shit done (especially for all my fellow ADHD and Squirrel Brained business owners out there), and have some fun while we’re at it—because life is too damn short to spend it listening to some boring ass podcast, #amiright?! Think of this show as your guiding compass for stepping into your Bad Bitch Era— because it is YOUR TIME to thrive.No more playing small, no more hiding who we are, and DEFINITELY no more sacrificing our joy, happiness and fulfillment for someone else. Are you ready to join the #badbitchMovement? Hit subscribe and join me on this powerful journey of tough-love compassion plus massive action. Connect with me: Instagram: www.instagram.com/bad.bitch.therapist TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@badbitchtherapist Website: https://badbitchtherapist.co/ Email: [email protected] Book a call: https://badbitchtherapist.co/contact

Brief note from Val before we dive into today's episode:In bittersweet news, this is the FINAL episode episode of Bodyful— but I'm not going anywhere, and neither are these episodes! Stay subscribed to this feed, and you'll get episodes of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast, which will be launching January 24, 2023.And for now— a wonderful final Bodyful conversation with our guest, personal stylist Dacy Gillespie... As a surprise to literally no one, the style & fashion industry is not typically kind to diverse bodies. 🙄And today’s guest Dacy Gillespie is one of the few personal stylists working hard to change that.With an approach to styling that prioritizes inclusivity of all sizes, shapes, and abilities and aligns with the principles of Health at Every Size (HAES), Dacy is a tremendous gift to her industry and to each person fortunate enough to work with her as a client.I am so glad that this is the final episode of Bodyful, because it’s a topic that I’d not covered on any previous episode, and one that is SO important and lacking in mainstream discourse. As Dacy emphasizes in the conversation, finding a style that’s right for YOUR body doesn’t mean identifying what OTHER People find “flattering” for your body type— it’s all about exploring and identifying what FEELS good and makes you feel good about yourself when you wear it. About Dacy Gillespie (she/her)Dacy Gillespie intuitively guides her clients to discover what they feel best in. She helps them let go of the external messages they’ve been given about what they should wear and get to the heart of what’s making them uncomfortable about their clothes. Through their work building a functional wardrobe, Dacy’s clients make a mindset shift from thinking they need to wear what’s flattering to unapologetically taking up space in the world.After a lifetime of jobs in high-stress careers that didn’t suit her highly-sensitive, introverted personality, Dacy started mindful closet in 2013 in an attempt to create a more emotionally sustainable lifestyle. She has two boys, ages 4 and 8, and a husband she adores who is well aware of her mental load.To learn more or contact Dacy, visit her website at www.mindfulcloset.com or connect with her on Instagram @mindfulcloset.Stuff Mentioned + Additional Resources:Health at Every Size (HAES) principlesGet Dacy’s worksheet on capsule wardrobesAnd she got to help REAL SIMPLE explain capsule wardrobes to their readers!----------------------------------------------------BAD BITCH THERAPIST PODCAST is coming soon! Launching January 24, 2023— if you're subscribed to this feed already, you will be subscribed since the new show will remain in this feed!✨ In Tennessee and looking for therapy? Check out The Gaia Center.✨ Get the monthly Gaia Center newsletter with exclusive content & tips from our therapists✨ Learn about coaching, speaking, and other stuff Val is up to