I really enjoyed listening to this one back ... I brought back some of my random singing spurts which hasn't happened in awhile... and I LOVE telling the story that involves my Dad ... and my Car! But the episode itself isn't about my Car per say....

When reflecting on a very memorable "conversation" I had with my Dad in the sky on my birthday (yes, after he passed away) .... I realized, that once again.... like always .... whether here on Earth or up in Heaven ...my Dad was right.

Hope you enjoy guys :)

This one revisits an older episode posted towards the very end of the quiet hypomanic episode of my Bipolar Disorder ... where I questioned "what will I say this podcast is about??"

As I look back on so many of the things I've talked about on here ... I come to the traumatic ocean event that I shared on my last episode ... and I make some realizations .... that allowed me to realize .... what do I have to lose at this point?

I got knocked down ... ONCE AGAIN... and somehow found my way to shore.... while in a full state of panic ... and here I am, still standing. To share with YOU yet another experience that showed myself ... and was meant to show YOU ... that WE. GOT. THIS.

No matter how much we think we are going to drown, how much we think we can't breathe ... how much we regret making the decision ...we MADE IT. We will continue to make it ... and we will look back, at some point, and realize WHY that massive life event showed up ... and the life lesson that we learned from it.

Somehow this panic attack has brought me back to a place where I realize.... life isn't going to give up on knocking me down... but the thing is .... I'm not going to give up on getting back up.

AND NEITHER ARE YOU.

After an amazing family vacation to Myrtle Beach ... I talk about the signs from my Dad on our first trip without him... and my traumatic experience of feeling like I was going to drown in the ocean .... and what I took away from my first ever full blown panic attack. As I say at the end of this episode ... if you are listening to this one... you are MEANT to hear it!

I listened to a few recordings today of when I was "channeling" my angels in the past few months. My Dad, my Grandparents, and my beautiful friend Cristy. It's an incredible realization ... that even though in my "right mind" I understand and agree that I was in an episode of my illness, during all of this communication with my troops in the sky... I am also acknowledging without a DOUBT .. that what they were saying to me ... was real.

And THIS is the first of many episodes ... to prove it.

So, take a listen ... and I am excited to introduce a new person that has arrived in my life ... into this crazy podcast and journey of H.O.P.E ... as I have a very strong feeling ... that he is the one that my angels were talking about ... he is the one that will change everything ... he is the one that will make it count...and I just CAN'T Believe this ... but it's the most incredible feeling of disbelief one could ever have ... and it's all mine in this moment.

Thank you for listening everyone.

Figured I would mix things up a bit and bring up something we JUST don't talk about enough... Feminine Wipes! Open those legs ladies .... lol. Kidding. But this was a thought that popped into my head that I wanted to share ... hope you enjoy it! And PS - they have a plethora of wipes and fragrances at The Dollar Tree!!

You're Welcome.

Let's liven up this place a bit .... just when I thought my days of funny story telling on here were over.... God & Dad proved once again, that I need to continue to expect the unexpected.

I hope this one will give you some laughs .... (and yes, that photo is me in my "nighty" while sweating)!

I hope it's one that keeps your interest enough to listen all the way through until the end .... because I want to hear what you think of my "How to meet Men" Idea that I propose at the very end!

"I'm going to delete the podcast .... take down all social media posts... and forget about the fucking book." - Those were my exact thoughts when the depressive crash hit ...

But ... today it occurred to me... maybe I should continue the book??? Maybe the reader ... literally being able to SEE the difference between my "manic" writing.... and then what transpired afterwards ... but also reading about all of my reflection on ALL OF IT ... perhaps that would be something that people would want to read about? What do you think?

I am really sharing my most shameful part of what has happened during this most recent "Quiet Hypomanic" episode. All of the money I went through in a few short months ....

A major symptom of a Manic or Hypomanic Episode of Bipolar disorder is reckless spending.... this was the first thing that sparked my attention even a few weeks before the Bipolar crash... but once I hit bottom, and I took a good look.... I could not believe what I was seeing.

I wasn't sure if this one would be of much interest to everyone... but the point of my podcast now is really just to share all of it ... it was ALWAYS about that, but a lot of my episodes I remember after listening back to them it would be like "OH MY GOD, WHAT AN EPIPHANY!"

So ... exciting or not.... I want to be open about what I have just experienced, in the hopes to educate people out there about this illness, and help those that have gone through something like this ... or who IS going through this right now. So... here it is.

This was a quick thought as I was trying to come up with a way of describing how it feels to have just experienced almost six months of this "amazing life" and all of the plans and visions and hopes and dreams that felt like they had been "promised." .... And then to realize now ... that during all of that time my brain was in a state that was showing me a lot of things that it would not be able to deliver on .... and that hurts. I think this analogy captures it pretty well ...

Any parent out there that has had ... or currently has (or even will have) a child in Middle School... you hear about it.... I REMEMBER it myself ... the worst part was the "fights" that used to happen amongst kids that I was friends with ... but for me, no matter how bad the fight, we would make up ... and move on.

For my little guy.... unfortunately that didn't happen.. But he Made it ... I recorded this in the hopes that other parents would hear some of these things and realize that not only can the kids not be fair in middle school... but even the teachers and administration can make decisions that will last with your child (and you) for the rest of your life .... let's just say, as hard as it is for me to accept that Parker boy is off to high school.... I am relieved to be closing this chapter.

Let me know your thoughts.