Hope is Powerful

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8 NLT

*Be sure to reach out for help with your sadness if it is overwhelming. There are so many who will be happy to help you.
 
Tears are a gift so give yourself permission to have a good cry.

Active Self-Care

Face your emotions
Emotions are neutral. Feeling them fully is a blessing as they are simply telling you that you are carrying a burden that is too heavy for you to handle. Tears can provide a release of pent up emotions so they don’t stay in your body as stress symptoms such as fatigue or pain. To stay healthy and release stress, I encourage you to cry.

Refuse to apologize for your tears
Most people say, “Please excuse me for crying. I am trying hard not to because it makes me feel weak.” The opposite is true. It takes strength and self-awareness to cry. Crying makes you feel better, even when a problem persists. Tears are part of the process that can heal your heart. You don’t want to hold tears back. For both men and women, tears are a sign of courage, strength, and authenticity.

Ride the wave to comfort
The basic principle in my book, The Power of Hope in Mourning: Ride the Waves to Comfort is to welcome the wave of grief every time you feel it hit you. Tears help you process loss in the right way so you can keep living with an open heart. As tears hit you unexpectedly when someone asks you how your loved one is doing just stop for a few minutes. Open up and let them know you need help in your caregiving journey.

Prayer
Thank You, Lord, for caring about our sadness. It is amazing to me that you take the time to keep track of all our sorrow. It’s never too much for You. In fact, it’s so precious to You, that You have a special bottle where you collect these tears. You write them down in your book. You embrace us and comfort us as we mourn. You are so close when our hearts are broken. We are grateful and will cherish our tears in the same way You do.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Here are more letters of the ABCs of Self-Care for Caregivers - so far:

Accept Your Role with Honor

Bounce Back with Hope

Celebrate Everything

Dance with Abandon

Eat Right and Enjoy Every Bite

Forgive Freely

Go Outside

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The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Isaiah 58:11 Voice

In this podcast, Karen remembers her journey as a caregiver when her late husband, Bill, was in the Intensive Care Unit for 14 days. The lessons she learned there will bless you today.

Takeaways:
You deserve time to yourself.
Budget at least 10 - 15 minutes outside every day.
The increase in Vitamin D strengthens your immune system.
Be present and mindful about everything that surrounds you.
Take in some sunsets and sunrises.
Enjoy the beauty of God's creation.
On cloudy days look up expecting hope rays.
God is at work even in the dark moments and always sends a message of hope just when we need it the most.
Gardening is a good reason to get outside as well.
Time outside will lower blood pressure, decrease anxiety and provide low impact exercise.

Prayer
Thank You, Lord, for Your consistent guidance through the maze of caregiving for ____________ (name). So often my well feels very dry so it is a comfort to know that You will give me water and will restore my strength. Oh, how I need that right now as I am exhausted and feel like I don’t even have time to catch my breath. Thank You for comparing me to a well-watered garden. Even if I never plant a garden I will go outside and enjoy Your garden with it’s greenery, flowers, birds and butterflies. You will restore me as I rest in You and soak in Your beauty. Thank You that as I do that I can be an ever-flowing spring to others in need. As I meet others who need hope let me have extra to share with them.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

For the other topics in the ABCs of Self-Care for Caregivers series, please check out the following podcasts:

A - Accept Your Role with Honor

B - Bounce Back with Hope

C - Celebrate Everything

D - Dance with Abandon

E - Eat Right and Enjoy Every Bite

F- Forgive Freely

Please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on your favorite podcasting platform.

For more information, check out Karen's Instagram and Facebook group.

Send a text

For more hope inspiration you can follow her posts on:

https://www.instagram.com/the.hope.lady
https://www.facebook.com/hopeispowerful

Rate and review this podcast to spread the hope to others who need to be reminded they can go from rock-bottom to the mountain top one step at a time.

In this podcast Karen shares the secrets of how to truly forgive. Family dynamics can be complicated and it is wonderful to know that you can give yourself the gift of forgiveness no matter what the other person has done or is doing.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 (New Living Translation)

Sandy grew up with a neglectful Dad and an abusive Mom. After her Dad's untimely death she reached out to her Mom only to discover that she was in the beginning stages of dementia. She had been working on forgiveness for many years and made a startling decision - she moved her into her own home. Unfortunately, the dementia only became worse and at one point she had to make the tough decision to put her home into a full-time facility as she would wander off while Sandy was at work. Still, she would go pick her up and take her to the park.

I'll never forget the text I got from her where she was having so much fun as her Mom observed the squirrels and enjoyed her visit. The forgetfulness was a gift to both of them because Sandy had fully forgiven and wanted to change the end of their story.

Here are three important parts of forgiving:

1. Forgive those who have wronged you.
The first step in forgiving is to acknowledge that someone has wronged you. Bring the hidden into the open rather than pretending that everything is okay.

2. Choose to forgive so you can be free from a prison of bitterness.
Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself so you can stop thinking about the situation. It's the sample prayer that Jesus gave us in the Lord's prayer. You ask your Heavenly Father to forgive you the way you forgive others. You release the anger, acknowledge it and forgive.

3. Speak kind words.
Unforgiveness hardens your heart.
She conducts her conversation with wisdom and the speaking of kindness is every her concern. Proverbs 31:26
Pass on a legacy of kindness to future generations. No matter how wrong another person is, it is never right to be unkind.
Reframe unkind words and find out where these feelings are coming from.
Avoid martyrdom by listing all the blessings this difficult person provides for you.

How is forgiveness working for you?

Would love to hear if this episode has helped you in any way.

What other topics do you want me to talk about?

For the other topics in the ABCs of Self-Care for Caregivers series, please check out the following podcasts:

A - Accept Your Role with Honor

B - Bounce Back with Hope

C - Celebrate Everything

D - Dance with Abandon

E - Eat Right and Enjoy Every Bite

Please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on your favorite podcasting platform.

Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeispowerfulpodcast

Follow us on Facebook: https://www.face

Send a text

For more hope inspiration you can follow her posts on:

https://www.instagram.com/the.hope.lady
https://www.facebook.com/hopeispowerful

Rate and review this podcast to spread the hope to others who need to be reminded they can go from rock-bottom to the mountain top one step at a time.

In this episode, Karen talks about the need to eat real food in order to stay healthy and strong.

Takeaways:
1) Develop a taste for good food

Most of us crave a hot fudge sundae rather than a salad. See, I bet the picture you saw was of hot chocolate sauce melting into the creaminess of the vanilla ice cream.

But what if we started feeling the same way toward the salad?

What is your favorite salad? How about your favorite healthy snack?

Fill the refrigerator with wholesome yummy food and take the extra time to prepare it. Remove all the unhealthy stuff for a while so that you are not tempted. Eating well takes forethought so that you have the right snacks and balanced meals.

Hope Tip: Look for recipes for the vegetables that are in season. Go to the Farmer’s Market to get a good deal on the organic version.

2) Adjust your appetite
At the beginning of each week, set aside a few hours over the weekend to prepare healthy snacks. Put them in the snack resealable plastic bags so you can pack them with your lunch. Once you start eating the right foods you will no longer crave the unhealthy ones.

It’s okay to treat yourself sometimes with dark chocolate. Berries are always filling and a tasty treat.

Hope Tip: Talk about the healthy food you enjoy most rather than what you can’t have.

3) Reward yourself with non-food items

What’s your favorite book?

What are rituals that you have in the evening (besides eating)?

Light your favorite candle and put on music that lifts your spirit. I especially enjoy worship music and scented candles.

Buy yourself a new journal and write in it every evening.

Make your day about your life and not the food that you eat.

No wonder Jesus said in Matthew 6:31-34 (Voice): “So do not consume yourselves with questions: What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear? Outsiders make themselves frantic over such questions; they don’t realize that your heavenly Father knows exactly what you need. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and then all these things will be given to you too. So do not worry about tomorrow. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Living faithfully is a large enough task for today.”

Hope Tip: Let your loved ones know about your favorites – candles, books, music, perfume, etc. Don’t save any of it for special occasions. Use it every day.

Prayer
Thank You Lord that you are always good. Even in the midst of the weight of caregiving I declare that You are good and You provide just what I need when I need it. I partner with You now to not be consumed with what I will eat, drink or wear. I don’t want to be consumed with what I eat. I want to seek You first and all that is right. Thank You for giving me everything that I need just when I need it. I give you my worry about tomorrow and thank You for the grace to be faithful in serving __________________ today.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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You turned my mourning into joyful dancing. Psalm 30:11 NLT
 
In this episode, we’re going to look at some ways to enjoy your life a little more without worrying so much about what others might be thinking.
 
Karen starts out telling her own “dance” story.
 
Takeaways:
Get out of your comfort zone and do something you love to do.
Make a list of what you really enjoy doing.
Hope Tip: Mind map a list of things you want to do and make plans to start at least one of them.
Stop worrying about what others think.
Regain your sense of freedom, spontaneity and excitement.
Stop being so concerned about what others think when you start to get out of our comfort zone.
You may be worried about what others might think but in reality they are probably not even thinking about you.
Stop looking around for approval or asking for permission.
Take a chance by trying something new.
You can do this.

Hope Tip: Look at the list created above and take a step in the direction of making it happen.

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What do you plan to do that gets you out of your comfort zone?

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For more hope inspiration you can follow her posts on:

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Celebrate with great joy. Nehemiah 8:12 NIV

During the last year and half of my first husband’s life, I had a morning routine. I would tiptoe into his bedroom to check on him.

I stood willing him to move a finger or something to show me that he was still with us. The rhythmic sound of the ventilator that was doing the breathing for him due to the paralysis of his diaphragm from muscular dystrophy rang in my ears.

Just as I would feel fear grip my heart, his right pinkie would move slightly. I would sigh in relief and proceed to wake him up.

One of the greatest joys that still lasts from the days when I cared for him, was the way we celebrated life as a family. I determined that we would live with no regrets. That took many forms. The kids and grandkids gathered often at our home to celebrate.

Years before, we had started taking pictures sitting on the hearth of the fireplace in the den. We celebrated simply but consistently. We gathered at our home for every holiday and every birthday. Bill was an avid collector of all things western so we had a western night.

What can you do differently?

It may seem like your life is devoid of events to celebrate so expand your horizons and celebrate life itself. Watching Bill’s strength as his body failed prompted a common set of questions that allows you to find a different perspective:

Can you breathe on your own?
Were you able to swallow your food as you ate today?
Can you walk and jump out of bed?

Then it’s a great day! Celebrate EVERYTHING!!!!

Ways to take care of yourself

Live with no regrets

Take advantage of every opportunity to celebrate. Take the trips that you’ve put off taking. Say the words that need to be said. As you spend so much of your time taking care of others do not lose the opportunities that you have. 

Assignment

Schedule a few hours where you can do something you like to do. It may be to go get a cup of coffee by yourself or a walk in the park.

Learn how to celebrate

What went well this week? Celebrate every victory by acknowledging it. It really doesn’t matter how small the win may seem to someone else, you can still celebrate it. Set up your celebration calendar. Look up the crazy national days and celebrate them as well. For example: October 1st is National Homemade Cookies Day. Celebrate by making your favorite homemade cookie. Well, you get the idea.

Assignment

Start small with one celebration a month. What are you going to celebrate?

Prepare favorite foods

Even when Bill could no longer eat because he lost his ability to swallow we would talk about what his ‘meal’ was that day. It was usually meatloaf and mashed ‘taters.’ To this day, we still celebrate birthdays with the celebrant’s favorite food and dessert. We celebrate Bill’s earthy birthday with tacos because that was the last meal that he ate before having the feeding tube. What is your favorite food?

Assignment

Make a list of favorite foods and share recipes. What’s the most decadent? What’s the healthiest?

Prayer

Thank You, Lord, that I can choose to celebrate today (Nehemiah 8:12 Voice). Thank You for the race that I get to run in caring for those I love. It can seem hard and that I

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We have been knocked down but we are not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:9

Have you felt this week that you could not go on? Have you felt that your caregiving situation is more than you can handle? You are not alone.

Resilience means that you will come out stronger than ever before if you hang on to hope.

You can go from being a victim to a victor.

It comes by choosing a positive attitude. Did you know you are the only one who gets to choose your attitude?

Your choices gives you power. 

This does not mean you ignore the issues that are there and yet, you choose that in this temporary assignment you will make it through.

When you feel like a failure  just press on.

Pick yourself back up and say, "It's okay."

Embrace resilience
Resilience is the quality some people seem to possess that when they get knocked down they bounce back stronger than ever. They always find a way to rise from the ashes and the struggles of life. My Dad was a wonderful example of this when my Mom died. He beat the statistics and lived well.

You can also go from being a victim to becoming a victor. He chose a positive attitude every day. He chose optimism and to look at the positive side of his situation and you can do the same.

Assignment: Rephrase your self-description from failure to "bounce-back kid."
Show your weakness
“But this beautiful treasure is contained in us—cracked pots made of earth and clay—so that the transcendent character of this power will be clearly seen as coming from God and not from us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7 (Voice)
There is a beautiful treasure inside you that others need to see.  Don't try to be too strong and perfect. Show your cracks. The areas where you feel so weak is where God wants to show His glory. Relax and enjoy the ride.
Assignment: Take advantage of every opportunity to show the hope inside you, even through the cracks.

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For more hope inspiration you can follow her posts on:

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So no matter what your task is, work hard. Always do your best as the Lord’s servant, not as man’s, because you know your reward is the Lord’s inheritance. You serve the Lord, the Anointed One. Colossians 3:23-24 (Voice)

Are you a caregiver? Do you know someone who is? No doubt the answer to these questions is “yes.”

By conservative estimates, there are over 53 million informal caregivers in the United States. These individuals volunteer their time to care for the basic needs of others. They often feel underappreciated and overworked. Worse yet, they may become ill because they are not caring for their own needs.

Why do you do what you do?

 You want to help your family care for your little ones and your elders. It is honorable. At the same time, you do not have to sacrifice your health and well-being. Take the time to take care of YOU!

What can you do differently?

Remember you ALWAYS have a choice.

If you currently feel stuck in a difficult situation, apply hope and honor generously.

Hope says that the results will be worth every bit of work and effort.

Honor says that you value yourself and the person(s) you serve.

Ways to Take Care of Yourself

1) Change your perspective from futility to hope

I was so angry after we first moved in with my mother-in-law after the death of my father-in-law that I was blinded to the truth of how this experience was shaping me into the person that I am today. I felt that no one heard me and that my vote didn’t matter. What a lie that was! It made times tough in our marriage. Partner with your spouse and siblings on caring for your loved one(s).

It is important to change your perspective from a day-to-day mind numbing stumbling down a dark hallway by switching on the hope light and choosing to move forward with honor for the process. This season won’t last forever. It’s not the end of the world. Instead, it’s a tremendous opportunity to grow and get truth from the Lord.

2)Honor what you do

I know you probably are not receiving a salary but you are bringing tremendous value to the family dynamic. You can be trusted to bring the absolutely best care for your loved one. You will learn a great deal in a short period of time. Your contribution is priceless. Let others know what a privilege it is do what only you can do.

Reframe the words you use to describe your role. Stop discounting it because you receive no pay. Honor where God has placed you. You make such a difference.

3) Look beyond the day-to-day

Now this is a harder one to do in the day-to-day grind of caregiving. The person you care for may be grumpy and unkind. They may never thank you. They may have dementia and not even remember who you are. Still, you can do this as “unto one of the least of these” (Matthew 25:40). This is the term that Jesus used in thanking those who had fed him and clothed him. He said that because they had done it to those who could not do it for themselves they had done it for Him. This is the best motivator of all. You may have to remind yourself from time to time.

Assignment

Write down a description of your caregiving assignment in the comments.

Avoid the use of the word “just” when describing what you do.

Prayer

Thank you, Lord, for the privilege and honor to accept my role as caregiver for _____________. I thank you for the

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In honor of Autism month (April), Karen is speaking with Isabelle Mosca founder of Faces 4 Autism.

She shares her story of how she became a Bright Sider who was determined to capture photos of sunrises and sunsets. She started this practice as a way to let her Mom, who was in the hospital, enjoy the beauty she was missing.

Takeaways:
Find your joy. 
Find your purpose.
She started a non-profit called Faces 4 Autism twenty years ago when her son was diagnosed with autism. 
Here are some Hope Nuggets for those with a special needs child:
You are doing a good job - the best that you can do. 
If you do not believe that then:

• Go meet a friend
• Join a support group
• You need people who get it.
• Stop and go rest. 

There is no time for self-pity. 
Hope keeps you going and moving.

Take a 10 minute self-care moment:

• Cry it out.
• Scream it out.
• Craft it out.
• Make a phone call.
• Write it in a journal.

Then you can become a new person.

Take turtle steps and keep moving.
Hope is the sunrise and the sunset.
I give my light to others and they give theirs back to me.
Inclusion allows purpose and joy in all of our experiences.
My focus of inclusion has expanded my world.
Instead of judging, hope encourages me to get the story.
Every day you can look at the darkness and then choose to look on the bright side.

 Website: https://faces4autism.org/
Podcast: https://www.faces4autism.org/podcast
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/LifeOntheBrightSidePage
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourlifeonthebrightside/

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In this episode Karen has a great conversation with Debbie Weiss, founder of Caregiver Support Squad around the need for caregivers to take focus on self-care.

As a teenager Debbie had to grow up really fast and take care of her father for thirty years. Currently she cares for her disabled husband and son which led her to give everything that she had and feeling angry, resentful, overwhelmed and exhausted along the way. You know those feelings, right?

She was always so busy thinking what she needed to do for everyone else she never considering that she needed to care for herself too.

You can transform your life one day at a time. 

It is critically important for every caregiver to focus on prioritizing their own care. Do not stay in a negative world of overwhelm, jealousy, anger and exhaustion. 

Practical steps:

1. Create a new habit by taking small incremental steps.
2. Pick something you want to do. 
3. Start with 5 minutes a day several times a week.
4. Find the right activities.
5. Don't be discouraged.
6. Stop being hard on yourself.
7. Self-care is a necessity not a luxury.

You only have one life to live. While you choose to live it caring for loved ones, you can still take care of yourself and enjoy your life.

Reach out to Debbie on her website:
http://www.caregiversupportsquad.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caregiver.support.squad
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Caregiver-Support-Squad-110432541469869/
eMail: [email protected]

Please rate and write a review if this episode helped you in any way.

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Website: https://www.karensebastian.com

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For more hope inspiration you can follow her posts on:

https://www.instagram.com/the.hope.lady
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Rate and review this podcast to spread the hope to others who need to be reminded they can go from rock-bottom to the mountain top one step at a time.