I recently shared "Green Flags to look for in a relationship" in Episode 54 find that here- https://anchor.fm/melinda-j-kunst/episodes/Episode-54-What-are-Green-flags-in-a-relationship-e11ddbp 

Let's look at warning signs you should be on the lookout for in a relationship. This applies to any type of relationship. Not just with an intimate partner. Honestly, I wish I would have known these were a thing. What I know now... I'm sure you feel the same way! So here are some things to look out for.

1) Is there a history of violence?

2) May have a mysterious reason why they don't like people.

3) Wants to get serious real quick.

4) Is this person overly possessive and jealous?

5) Begins isolating you from family and friends.

6) Doesn't listen to you or your opinions.

7) Bossy and inconsiderate.

8) Dictates where you go, what you wear, and what you enjoy.

9) Monitors your calls, texts, and/or social media.

10) Blames you for all their issues even if you had no part in whatever the situation.

11) Puts on a display of affection and caring for others but behind closed doors talks poorly about them behind their back.

12) Makes fun of you.

13) Manipulative.

14) Ignores your boundaries.

15) Doesn't include you with friends or family outings or gatherings.

Of course, the HUGE red flag is if the person uses intimidation, threats, demeans you, or violence against you.

These are just some of the red flags that are out there.

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

Let me start by saying I am proud of you for making this brave step! 

Before you leave ask yourself this question-  Is this relationship worth saving? Now hear me out! Is it that your partner is violent or upsetting when he/she is drinking/using drugs? Are they a bully and don't realize it? Have you gone through counseling to resolve the issue? I hate for relationships to end of course abuse is unacceptable. These are factors to consider. My first thought is to leave but for some, they wish to see if they can make it work. 

Remember this, you can not make this person your project to "fix". They have free will. If you/friends/family have pointed out the negative behavior and they don't wish to change there is your answer. * Leaving while your partner isn't home or going to be gone for a long time. * Alerting work/school about your situation. * Gather important papers. If you are concerned your partner will notice these are gone make copies of the original and leave the copies! * History of the violence- including pictures and note the dates * Make a plan to send these to a P.O. Box that your partner does not know about or give to a trusted friend/family member. * Set up a new email address or make sure you change your passwords (change to an affirmation! Iam$trong, Iamenough). * Open a bank account prior to leaving if you can. Personally, I squirreled away $25.00 over many months to open one before I left my abuser. I had the statements going to my new address at my sister's house. Now, you can have them come electronically so your abuser won't know. * If you have a place to go, start taking things to your new digs. These are things that will go unnoticed, such as seasonal clothing, mementos, toys/games for the kids, extra food, bedding/towels, anything that you can think of that won't be missed. Let's say it's "Leave time", here are some things to consider, now this should not be taken lightly and I would also suggest that you reach out to law enforcement and/or a Women's shelter for tips, suggestions, and other resources. For the full blog post for these tips visit my blog here- https://hopewhentherewasnone.blogspot.com/2019/01/tips-for-leaving-your-abuser.html Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse. This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors. You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1 Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone Find help and info here- https://www.thehotline.org/ https://www.domesticshelters.org/ https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

In this episode, I share what are good things to look for in a new or current relationship. No relationship is perfect but there are some things to keep an eye out for when starting or thinking about a current relationship you are in this could be with an intimate partner, family member, friend, or co-worker.

1) This person takes responsibility for their own actions.

2) Support things you want to do or pursue.

3) Practice self-care.

4) Are reflective of their life or situations.

5) They have long-standing healthy friendships.

6) Empathy towards others.

7) You can be vulnerable around this person or they are vulnerable.

8) They are spiritual and don't mock your spirituality.

9) Self-sufficient- They can take care of themselves, appts needs, or whatever.

10) Communicate openly with no judgment.

11) Has hobbies and is encouraging for you to pursue your own or to join in with their interests.

12) Respect and honors your boundaries.

13) Are affectionate with you.

14) Takes interest in things you like to do.

15) Supportive and positive about you even when you aren't feeling it.

16) Has a great sense of humor and can laugh at themselves. They don't put you down.

17) Can help out financially if they need to with no strings or without being asked.

18) A good listener and communicator.

19) Has fun!

20) Accepts your past without being critical.

21) Doesn't compare you to others.

22) Respects your need for alone time.

23) Allows and encourages you to have a job.

24) Respects your children.

25) Knows they aren't the center of the universe.

26) They are mature.

27) They have confidence in themselves without being cocky.

28) Fits in no matter what the situation or environment they are in.

29) Admit when they make mistakes.

30) Shares in chores or tasks around the house.

31) Enjoys quiet time and encourages you to do the same.

32) Willing to deal with the ups and downs in a relationship.

This is pt 8 of the, "What does abuse look like?". What does physical abuse look like? It is more than just getting hit, example's below.

The abuser's physical attack or aggressive behavior can range from bruising to murder. It often begins with what is excused as trivial contacts that escalate into more frequent and serious attacks. Examples-

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

join me for this touching and healing chat about "Grief" with Danielle Kean-Grassi. Her book, "Grief is only Suppressed Gratitude", touched my heart and I felt that she needed to share her story. Danielle is a Certified Anxiety Strategist & Certified Mental and Emotional Coach. Danielle’s written work has appeared in mental health blogs such as Succeed Now and she has spoken about anxiety and emotional development on podcasts and live interviews. Her experience with the passing of her mother led her on the path to self-growth and emotional development. She currently lives in Olney, Maryland with her husband, Matt.

Find her on social media here:

https://keanstrategies.com/grief-is-only-suppressed-gratitude

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

Here is pt 2 of dealing with loneliness after a toxic relationship. What can you do? Find a support group near you or a virtual group. Start thinking about what "YOU" want. Have you ever wanted to take up a hobby? Consider adopting a pet! Pet's can give love, help for health issues if trained, and give companionship. Get out some pen and paper and write a note to yourself about your trauma or feelings. You could even write a letter to that person that hurt you but you don't have to send this to them. You can hold on to this or have a release by burning it or ripping it up. If you burn this please do it safely. These are just a few suggestions listen in for more. 

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

Loneliness is one of the top reasons victims and Survivors get into a relationship fast after a breakup with a toxic partner. Many times these relationships are fine but there could be a chance you are jumping out of the fire back into the pan. Here are some suggestions to cope with the loneliness in this 2 part podcast.

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

Have you heard of this phase? Honestly, it's a bit outdated. There is never a time when there is a break in abuse. Now, the cycle of promises never to do any harm can last from a few hours, days, weeks, or months, as time goes on the old patterns creep in until the other shoe drops. This can repeat over and over. Aren't you tired Sis? Broken or empty promises are a constant. Staying away is hard. It takes work to move on and to rebuild a new life but I can tell you honestly by taking positive steps forward to heal is worth it. So, let's get to it!

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

Living with mental health issues can be so hard. I dealt with Anxiety and needed to take steps to tackle this. I lived in a state of "Fight or Flight" and it was disheartening. Learning new patterns and changing my mindset was BIG! Have you dealt with Anxiety?

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255

It can be challenging to start a healing journey. I was in victim mode for a long time. My inner bully would rear its ugly head and tell me that I wasn't worthy, I was ugly, and more. I began to take steps to break those lies by reprogramming my mind by saying affirmations, journaling, mirror work, and more. I took every day with small steps and when I was knocked down I brushed myself off and began again. Sometimes it took me a day, week, or months later to do so because maybe I wasn't ready at that moment to tackle those tough triggers. Tune in for a few of the things I implemented to begin.

Someone out there needs to know they are not alone and that they can survive. Perhaps you are a parent or friend of someone trapped in an abusive relationship and need to know how to help. Message me privately for support or help. My goal is to share awareness, offer empowerment, and educate others about emotional traumas and domestic abuse.

This is the first of many episodes to come where I will share my story but also stories of courage and healing from Survivors, Coaches, to Therapists/Counselors.

You can find my books and my Journals here- https://www.amazon.com/Melinda-Kunst/e/B0788SWSB1

Find me on Facebook here- www.facebook.com/hopewhentherewasnone

Find help and info here-

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help

https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- https://www.rainn.org/ 

National Suicide Prevention lifeline-800-273-8255