Episode 279

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Figuring out your evolving role as a parent during your child’s adolescence is difficult, even if you aren’t dealing with substance misuse. The natural inclination to protect and nurture is already being challenged by your child’s growing sense of autonomy. You’re told to step back, control less, and allow them to make their own mistakes.  

So, for parents of kids who are misusing substances and struggling with mental health, this process is especially agonizing. How do you walk the line between healthy support and “enabling?”  How do you, as a parent, even understand your own role anymore? 

Thankfully, my guest today has lots of answers.

Beth Hillman’s 16-year-old son attended a wilderness treatment program at the age of 16. Immediately afterward, he informed her that he would continue using.  Today, Beth is a double-certified life and parent coach who brings her lived experience to other families through a podcast, private and online coaching, and workshops. She has not only lived in the trenches, but has also helped many other families who found themselves navigating a painfully difficult path.

In this episode, we discuss specific, actionable ways to understand what it means to be a parent during this challenging time, ideas for building the scaffolding of both boundaries and safe spaces for our kids, avoiding power struggles with curiosity, and what it actually means to “meet kids where they are.”  

EPISODE RESOURCES:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 278

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In part two of this this two-part episode, Cathy and I dive deep into two more of those sneaky, often invisible struggles that so many of us experience when parenting through substance use and mental health challenges.

PART TWO:

In part two, we marvel at and empathize with you when it comes to the insane learning curve parents face when their child is experimenting with or addicted to substances and facing mental health issues. We faced it ourselves and proudly wear our honorary Real Life Research Ph.D.'s. 

We then share the very real feeling of doubt and acknowledge how it can reach far beyond just parenting. This experience can knock you off your feet and make your world feel like a movie set - we get it, and we're here to talk about it. 

EPISODE RESOURCES:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 277

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

Sometimes, the hardest parts of our journey are the feelings we can't quite put our finger on, when you can tell something feels off but can't really articulate exactly what's wrong. In this two-part episode, Cathy and I dive deep into four of those sneaky, often invisible struggles that so many of us experience when parenting through substance use and mental health challenges.

PART ONE:

In part one, we cover the kind of grief that doesn't get a funeral, the common response of hypervigilance and the exhaustion it creates, we share personal stories about the physical toll this emotional marathon has taken on us, and the importance of giving yourself permission to feel it all.

Key Takeaways:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 276

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

At times it can be confusing for parents of teens and young adults who are misusing substances to tease apart the concept of acceptance vs. the act of accepting. In this solo episode, I help distinguish the two and give examples of why it’s so important to both accept this part of your life while at the same time keep yourself safe, healthy and sane through being clear on what you will and will not be accepting of. 

I dive into the complex paradox of balancing love and acceptance with limits and loving our kids unconditionally while setting necessary boundaries. You’ll hear a Buddhist parable that may help you reframe some of your suffering, and I share a personal story of a time when I finally got the balance right on acceptance vs. accepting.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 275

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Henry Maxwell began drinking and smoking marijuana at 12 and by 17, was an IV heroin & cocaine user. Not long afterward, his experimentation expanded to nearly every scheduled drug he could find, from Xanax to amphetamines and highly unregulated substances like ‘spice’. His teen years were largely spent among serious drug users twice his age, and involved many of the traumatic experiences common in that high-risk lifestyle.

At the age of 17, Henry was hospitalized for a cocaine overdose that mimicked the symptoms of a heart attack, leaving him afraid for his own life. When an attending nurse asked if he was interested in treatment, he knew he had to say yes, or he wouldn’t make it to see his 21st birthday.

To this day, Henry has only worked in one field: addiction and recovery. He now has a BA in psychology and certifications in mediation, intervention, and addiction.  Through Maxwell Recovery Services, he has dedicated his professional life to helping families where a young person is struggling with substance misuse or addiction.

In this episode, we discuss the complexities of topics like intervention and return to use, how parents can craft longer-term strategies that look beyond daily crises, and the importance of support systems for the entire family.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 274

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In this episode, I offer what might feel like slightly brutal truths if you're parenting a young person who struggles with substances and mental health challenges. I emphasize the importance of self-preservation for parents, noting that while you cannot force lasting change in your child or children, you can create the best conditions to foster it. 

I discuss the "self-preservation continuum" - the balance between being fully (overly) involved in your child's recovery and maintaining personal health and sanity. I also provide practical tools you can focus on when you have no idea what to do, and highlight the destructive impact of fear when it dominates. 

EPISODE RESOURCES:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 273

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

We’re back with another episode of the ‘Cathy & Brenda Show’, and this week we tackle a topic we see recurring in our community and the parents we work with…achievement-oriented parenting. As two recovering perfectionists ourselves, Cathy and I both share examples of what it looks like to be achievement-focused when your child (or children) struggle with substances and mental health. We talk about the tendency some of us have to want everything on the outside to look a certain way, even when that’s doing damage to our kids, and how it can feel scary to apply self-compassion in fear of getting ‘weak’ or ‘soft.’

We discuss the internal battles many of us face about wishing our kids would just “get it together” and how the Invitation To Change approach can help us instead look at them with compassionate curiosity to understand their behavior instead of punishing it. We also tap into two of our favorite authors and researchers, Dr. Kristin Neff and Jessica Lahey.

If you identify as a problem solver, list-checker, task doer, results-focused person…this is your episode. We even go on a tangent or two, but promise you’ll be able to relate.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 272

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

It's that day, mama. The one filled with many hopes, expectations and potentially big, deep, sad feelings. Wherever you are today, if you're parenting a young person through substance misuse, addiction, and mental health problems, I see you. 

This short episode is my Mother's Day gift to you - to let you know the things you do are seen, the feelings you feel are valid, and you are beautiful and loved.

Enjoy and please be so very good to yourself today, and every day.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 271

ABOUT THE EPISODE:

Jen Murphy was working with a group of therapeutic outfitters when she had the idea to offer “on the grid” 4-5 day family intensives.  The program was already providing family therapy on 10-day backcountry expeditions - which can be a great option for some. But she noticed a need for families to receive the same intensive therapeutic service in a shorter timeframe, and in a more private and comfortable setting.

As a therapist, this unique model made perfect sense to her and she felt it may lead to more sustainable outcomes. After all, the work of rebuilding trust and repairing family dynamics is often uncomfortable. Why not have a physically comfortable environment to do it in?

In response to the demand, Jen created Altitude Family Coaching where she does individual and family coaching and intensives. While the family is usually based in an AirBnb or vacation home, the days are full of experiences that involve natural beauty and supportive experiential-based activities that create opportunities for healing, understanding, on-the-spot coaching and ultimately, growth.

In this episode, Jen and I discuss how family intensives work, the biggest issues her clients face, the sticky work of rebuilding trust and why “over-functioning” makes for an unhealthy family dynamic.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

Episode 270

EPISODE DESCRIPTION:

In this deeply personal episode, I'm talking directly to the parent who feels broken, scared, and lost, reminding you you're not alone and sharing some hard-earned wisdom I gained along my journey. It's also for those coming out the "other side" and looking for ways to continue your healing and growth.

This episode is my loving check-in with you, packed with gentle reminders for self-care, resilience, and hope. Give yourself 15 minutes to listen, connect, and find solace in knowing that healing is possible and you never have to face this journey alone.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream CommunityLearn about The Stream, our private online community for momsFind us on Instagram hereFind us on YouTube hereDownload a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and AlcoholHopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.