This meta comedy horror film might have slipped past you, but if you’ve run through all the others, this one is probably worth a watch.

In this film, Max, the daughter of a struggling horror film actress, is grieving after her mother’s untimely real death three years prior. Her friend’s tone deaf step brother played by Thomas Middleditch insists that Max attend his double feature screening of Camp Bloodbath, the film that made her mother a star. 

While attending with her friends, a disaster happens, and they escape through the movie theater screen. In proper movie logic, they somehow by doing so, step into the reality of Camp Bloodbath (an obvious stand in for Friday the 13th).

They soon realize that they are trapped until they can navigate to the end of the film and survive the machete-wielding masked killer.

This is another meta horror comedy that seems to be attempting the success of the previous Cabin in the Woods and Tucker and Dale. In comparison, this one is pretty lackluster. However, it does have it’s charm and is an enjoyable watch.

The one difference in style is that The Final Girls uses 80s fantasy logic, and doesn’t bother with realize. This gives them more wiggle room to have fun with the slasher formula.

With Adam Divine and Thomas Middleditch in the cast, I did expect it to be funnier than it was. They only go after the easy jokes around the genre, and don’t play as much as they could with the archetypal characters or slasher absurdities.

It ends up being surprisingly predictable.

6/10

We managed to find a copy of 28 Days Later (which isn’t streaming anywhere, even Amazon) and were treated to the re-awakening of the zombie movie

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Some evil scientists were playing with fire and testing the effects of rage on Chimpanzees, when a group of radical extremists with Green Peace set the Apes free. 

One Ape attacked another and then everyone got angry, but not just angry, rageful. 

28 days later and our protagonist, Jim (Cillian Murphy) awakes from his medically induced coma to a deserted and dilapidated London. He wanders the streets before finding some angry higher apes and quickly learns not to tango with this “rage” stuff.

After Jim meets up with Selena (Naomie Harris), Frank (Brendan Gleeson), and Franks daughter they decide to brave the wilds of Great Britain to find a military outpost that’s sending a hopeful message over the airwaves.

Everyone get’s more apes than they bargained for.

28 Days Later is an important movie in the zombie genre. It’s not strictly a zombie movie, rather a re-imagining of a somewhat more likely scenario that could lead to something approximating a zombie movie outcome.

If rabies was weaponized, the outcome might look something like 28 Days Later. 

There was never a shortage of B zombie movies since their inception, and there never will be. But there have been lulls in the popularity of the zombies in general, and moments of revival – 28 Days Later is largely responsible for one of the biggest revivals of zombies in the zeitgeist. Arguably, this movie helped kick off some of the biggest zombie movies and games in the last 20 years.

There is no doubt that 28 Days Later is effective. The direction is great, the acting and script are pretty good too. 

More than anything, the theorycraft is impressive and logical – which is where the concept of zombies really catches the imagination of audiences.

The movie is dark, depraved, and hopeless, but manages to throw a little bit of family feeling in the somewhat slow second act that helps to redeem the pacing.

Overall, it’s great at what it does, and the soundtrack is phenomenal.

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10/10

Cocaine Bear never forgets his lines.

Cocaine Bear is loosely based on a true story of a bear that finds and consumes cocaine air dropped by a cocaine smuggler in 1985. In this movie, instead of dying immediately, it does what everyone imagines in their head when they hear the words “Cocaine Bear”. It goes on an unhinged coked up rampage across a state park. 

Along the way, Cocaine Bear’s, or as his friends call him, Pablo Escobear, crosses paths with drug dealers, thugs, rangers, children, and a mom. These people fare about as well as you would expect against Cocaine Bear.

The movie is structured basically as a slasher in that the characters are mostly there as fodder, and they are all trying to escape an unhinged, all powerful killer.

However, even for a slasher, these characters have super thin development. None of them have what I would call an “arc”. Not even Cocaine Bear.

The cast is serviceable with Kari Russel, MArgo MArtindale, Ray Liotta (RIP), and a bunch of newcomers. They just aren’t given much to work with.

Really the most valuable and enjoyable thing that this movie gives you is the title. It’s going to be talked about in knowing tones by the same people that mention Sharknado movies without having actually seen it.

To it’s credit, it doesn’t shy away from the gore, and earns it’s R rating, but doesn’t go crazy. 

Overall, it’s ok. There are enjoyable moments, and the concept is novel early on, but it loses it’s edge very quickly and it becomes just a waiting game for the obvious ending. It’s a B movie with a 35 million dollar budget. I didn’t expect much, and it perfectly met my expectations

4/10

We watched Scream 6 and were impressed with this incredibly fresh new take on the otherwise stale genre of slashers in 2023!

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website

A year after the events of Scream (2022) where the Woodsboro murders decimated the group of plucky, woke high school students, we find ourselves in college, in New York City.

In a super weird turn of fate, our young heroins Sam Carpenter (Melissa Barrera) and her sister Tara (Jenna Ortega) are being stalked by none other than Ghost Face himself.

As the friend group pulls together to try to figure out who the new killer might be, they also become suspicious of each other.

As it turns out, this killer follows the rules of horror movie tropes, and could easily be one of their closest friends, if these Stab movies are to be believed.

Will the friends figure out who the new killer is? Will Ghost Face say some quippy line? Who will be stabbed, and who will come out on top?

I just asked a bunch of cliff hanger questions at the end of my synopsis. And Scream is known for it’s meta takes and twists. Here’s a meta twist for you – I don’t give a shit who comes out on top AT ALL!!!

I stopped caring about Scream the moment the second movie started in 1997. It’s always a slightly diminished crew of last year’s protagonists looking at each other and figuring out what movie trope they are breaking that will get them killed. If only Ghost Face would just hop off of the screen and do me so I don’t have to sit through another one of these cash grab installments.

Is Scream 6 bad? No, it’s fine. It’s fan service. But everything is fan service now. Fan service has replaced originality in favor of safety.

Do you want safety? IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? Yes. As it turns out, you do. Or at least that’s what your wallet says when you pay to go see the new Scream, or Halloween Ends, or The Purge 8: Unlimited Bulimia. 

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Sometimes you just need some nostalgia in your life, and this is that. It’s not going to blow you away, or make you wish there were more Scream movies. It’s going to pelt you with ‘member berries. 

I will say that this version of Ghost Face might be the strongest in my memory, even if my memory for this is pretty bad. He is wiry, and powerful, and frantically hateful. His acts of violence are gruesome and gross.

The reveal at the end of Scream 6 is a prime example of more is better syndrome. Can this be topped? Only if the killer in Scream 7 is the early 90’s version of the monster truck named “Bigfoot”.

As long as you don’t expect much, Scream 6 is a Film.

5/10

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It’s a magical evening folks. Every year the HMT academy gets together and chooses the best moments and movies of the year. Join us and celebrate another year of horror cinema.

We dig the 80’s and here’s proof. What are your favorite 80’s horror movies?

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website

The Descent is more than a decent movie, it’s phenomenal. It doesn’t play it safe by making just a straight ahead monster movie, it delves into many different kinds of phobias along the way.

The Descent starts out similar to my favorite porn, with a team of international women out in the woods. They go caving in an uncharted cave system in the Appalachians. Quickly their expedition goes sideways when a cave in happens and they are stuck in the caves, short on supplies. The film quickly turns terrifying as they find out that the caves are full of goblin monsters hell bent on eating them, which happens to be my least favorite porn.

This is a fantastic horror movie that hits a lot of different beats of horror. It deals out claustrophobia, dread, jump scares, interpersonal drama, all while passing the Bechdel test. A rare accomplishment in any horror film.

The unique setting of the film and the deliberate slow burn draws the audience in, in a way that most monster films don’t. By the time we are introduced to the main antagonists of the film, we have already seen the protagonists crushed with the fatigue and uncertainty of whether they will ever find a way out.

Although dark and disorientating, the film has some really great creature design and gory special effects.

It let up even in the end, and is a really unique viewing experience.

10/10

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We watched the Wes Craven classic, The People Under the Stairs, from 1991 and were delighted to see how close our interpretation of landlords are to the real thing!

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The People Under the Stairs is the story of Fool, AKA Poindexter, AKA Brandon Quintin Adams who’s mom has cancer and can’t pay the rent. 

Being saddled with the idea that he is now “the man of the house” at 12 years old, he realizes that he very badly wants not to lose that house. 

Unfortunately for Fool, his landlords are literally the whitest, scariest, most sadistic BDSM freaks slash shotgun owners to ever grace God’s green earth. They are so terrifying that they actually keep a hoard of invalid children under their house, and feed their pet dog Cujo parts of the people that they kill.

Fool is brought on a mission to case the house his landlords live in by Ving Rhames, in an attempt to steal enough money to ironically pay the rent.

What ensues is an insane game of cat and mouse that will surely leave Fool with lasting scars, trauma, and an intense hatred of white people.

The People Under the Stairs is something of a unique movie now, but if you take a look at the time that spawned it, it begins to make more sense. It’s in good company with the likes of Nightbreed, Gremlins 2, Army of Darkness, House, and The Gate.

This is a dark comedy and horror movie with a decent amount of disturbing ideas and themes. It’s executed in such a way that dates it tremendously, but leaves you with that waxy film of early 90’s charm coating your mouth.

While the acting is over-the-top, the themes are in-your-face, and the characters are just caricatures of stereotypes, it’s still interesting and fun.

Buy or Rent on Amazon

I can’t think of anyone who would hate this movie, but I am sure that there are plenty who love it to death. 

The intense themes of minority marginalization, class inequity, sexism, and gentrification are present throughout. These themes are smash you in the face in nature, and are sandwiched in so much hammy acting that it’s a little hard to take it seriously.

Overall, this is a great movie to curl up on the couch and watch on a Friday night.

6/10

If you are making the choice between Let the Right One In and Let Me In, the former is the right one. This taut and moody vampire tale pushes the boundary for what’s possible in the genre.

Let the Right One in is a new twist on the vampire tale, that asks, what if vampires were pedophiles? It’s about Oskar, a 12 year old Swedish boy that is relentlessly bullied while he deals with his parents separation. In the course of planning to be Sweden’s first school shooter, he meets Eli, the new girl in town that hates shoes and loves having the higher ground. Eli is the stereotypical manic pixie dream girl, who has quirky hobbies like puzzle collecting, communicating through Morse, and violently murdering people by sucking their blood.

Let the Right One In was remade in English as “Let Me In”, but if you haven’t the original, do yourself a favor and watch it in the original language. Not only are the performances a little better overall, most importantly, the tone is vastly better than the remake.

The sparse and brutal mise en scene matches the sparse and brutal storyline. The stark empty courtyards and public parks compliment the empty and stark life of lonely latchkey kids.

At the heart of the story is a coming of age romance between two tragic characters that is very compelling. There is an impending sense of dread for all the main characters. You are rooting for them, but in pretty much every possible outcome there will be tragedy. 

This film is an excellent entry into the vampire genre that shows that there are still compelling iterations to explore that don’t rely on the Dracula archetype.

10/10