Sis, you & I relate to Black Men the EXACT same way that the Police do. Hear me out. We relate to them with suspicion, hostility, looking for SOMETHING to accuse them of. We instantly judge them based on their clothes, diction, the car they drive, & their neighborhood. We have ways of talking that are designed to dehumanize and tear down Black Men. The ONLY difference between the Police and us is this: the cops terrorize Black Men physically; we do it emotionally. This week, Dr. Venus unpacks the historical wounds that have led to Black Men being positioned as savages, violent, and up to no good. She discusses how WE make it a self-fulfilling prophecy, and how we can get back our power and give each other grace and the space for healing.

Key Takeaways:

[2:50] In this conversation, Dr. Venus is not talking about the Black Men who are so wounded and so violent that they are a detriment to your life. Nor is she justifying Black Men who hurt or abuse you. This is a grown conversation about those committed to having an empowering partnership with the Black Men in their life.

[8:07] As Black Women, we are so powerful, but we squander our power on gossip and bring each other down. Dr. Venus isn’t doing that anymore. She only wants Black Women that are committed to winning together.

[11:33] Your wounds have more to do with the Black Men that you attract than Black Men at all. It has to do with what you will tolerate.

[13:51] Dr. Venus discusses how the representation of Black people has gone through different iterations. After the Nat Turner insurrection of 1831, more oppressive legislation was put into place. The language started to change because White people got scared, and they started portraying Black Men as violent, dim-witted and that it was necessary for them to be put in jail. This was also seen in popular culture, such as movies and plays.

[21:07] Yes, Black Women have also gone through hell and back, but it is up to us to put the work in for our own healing. Notice how you approach Black Men. Do you approach them with caution, test them, and then give them punitive consequences if/when they are wrong? Do you lie to try and make yourself right? Our approach can be similar to how police approach Black Men.

[25:32] We expect Black Men to give us that which they have not been taught to. Then, when they don’t, we withhold and punish. What if they are just hurt, but don’t know how to articulate it?

[30:32] As the mothers of civilization, it is important for us as Black Women to know we have the power. Instead of lessening that power when we are wounded, we must both do the work. Dr. Venus discusses going to therapy with her partner, and how it has helped open their communication. If he isn’t willing to do the work, staying with him doesn’t mean love, it means codependency. He must do the work to be your equal.

[32:55] We have been taught that Black Men are violent, but we also don’t give a chance to the quiet, shy, nerdy ones, or the men we deem not attractive or too attractive.

[34:20] If you are committed to breaking generational curses and setting a new example, you have to do the work and heal.[35:10] Healing lets you have real conversations and create boundaries together. We can learn to have grace for one another’s wounds. Dr. Venus opens up about having to undo racism even in her own relationship.

[41:53]  He can be your companion, but not your savior. He’s not responsible for your happiness. You can teach him how to love you and if he’s willing to heal with you, then there is a future. If he’s not, it’s time to go in and heal some more.

[42:21] When you do know your power, you start to handle it like it’s precious.

Quotes:

• “I want to love the Black Men in my life who love me.”
• “I need you to look at yourself as the author of your own life.”
• “We weaponize our emotionality. We weaponize our love. The same way the police do.”
• “He has to take on his healing, and that is between him and God.”
• “You have to model healing, so he gets that he can’t be with you if he doesn’t heal.”
• “When you heal, you become a force to be reckoned with for generations to come.”

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre-order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

The Man God Has For You 

1. 7 Famous Slave Revolts
2. From “brute” to “thug:” the demonization and criminalization of unarmed Black male victims in America
3. 'It’s like we're seen as animals': black men on their vulnerability and resilience
4. Emmanuel Acho on the myth of the 'Angry Black Man'
5. US justice is built to humiliate and oppress black men. And it starts with the chokehold
6. Raising Hell Or Raise Them Well: Withholding your children out of spite

Within every powerful Black Woman is a little girl. Within every powerful Black Man is a little boy. Both genders have historical wounds that are not named but felt in the way we interact with each other, especially when it comes to vulnerability. 

This week, Dr. Venus talks about how both Black Men and Women have inherited historical trauma due to North American Chattel slavery, and how these survival strategies can cause us pain and suffering when we don’t tend to each other or work to heal these wounds. She discusses the double standard when it comes to Black Men tending to their pain and healing, and shares seven teaching points on how to empower Black Men without losing your own power. 

When we see how the sensitivity Black Men can have around respect is so rooted in trauma, we can work on healing with him by tending to his little boy within. Let’s talk. 

Key Takeaways:

[6:25] When it comes to loving a Black Man, one of the things we have not accounted for as Black Women are the wounds that they have. Black Men were whipped, punished, demeaned, and pimped out in front of their family because of North American slavery, and made to feel disrespected and powerless. 

[8:00] For Black Women, there are certain survival strategies that we have to combat feeling invisible and like our voice doesn’t matter. One of those survival strategies is relating to Black Men like they are well, and they are not. There is no way they could be well because we are still healing, but at least we as women have safe spaces to self-reflect. They don’t. 

[9:30] We have a historical wound around being heard. Our voice was not honored, and even when we said no, they still took from us and forced us to work, have babies, and give our bodies to them. To try and contend with these wounds, we have a practice of needing to get the last word in, which can trigger and get tangled with Black Men’s historical wounds around being disrespected. The viciousness in which they were penalized and hurt has led to a very high sensitivity to respect, which makes them feel a certain way when a Black woman speaks up. 

[12:27] The more we speak up, the more he can feel like we are talking down. Until we unpack this cycle, it will run us and get perpetuated generationally. This means as we take accountability for our own emotional wellness, Black Men must do the necessary internal excavation. This doesn’t necessarily mean religion, it means going inward and doing the real emotional labor. 

[18:31] Black Men have wounded Black baby boys in them, just like Black Women have wounded baby girls within ourselves. When we tend to that, we can have mercy and grace. 

[20:39] Until you understand how to empower the Black Men in your life, you are going to be struggling. 

[21:48] You need to start accounting for the humanity of Black Men and see him as someone’s little boy that didn’t get taken care of, who was neglected, traded on, and wounded. You don’t need to do anything about it, just to account for it. 

[22:14] This does not mean to let a man off the hook for bad behavior, and to accept abuse or cheating. This is about something different. 

[23:10] As a Black Woman, you have more power than you realize, especially in terms of your impact and influence on the Black Men in your life.

[27:00] Teaching Points: 

1. You can not empower a Black Man until you have healed your own relationship with your father. You can still heal even if your relationship is broken or non-existent. Dr. Venus shares how she took on her father wound. 
2. Don’t speak until you can say it with love. 
3. Stop dating men that are projects, thinking you can change him. When you turn a man into a project, you shackle yourself to a person who has no commitment to the version of himself that you see. Don’t date, marry, or get in bed with someone’s potential. 
4. Hang out with the people who are where you want to go. Get into new networks, and stop fishing from a pool of people that will waste your time. 
5. Don’t expect him to emotionally heal you. Be accountable for your own emotional wellness. 
6. Only God can heal you. Your man is not equipped, the same way you can’t take on his healing or fix him. 
7. Schedule baby boy love. Tend to the aspects of him that he doesn’t tend to, and make it about fun and emotional connection rather than sex. Whether it’s a weekend of playing with trucks, coloring, or something that makes him feel safe and tended to. 

[42:03] There is nothing wrong with having trauma. It’s part of being alive, but we must be accountable for seeing Black Men in light of compassion and grace. 

[43:50] America is built to tear us apart and to keep us oppressed. It’s going to take healing at the level of cultural consciousness and we are going to have to do it together. 

Quotes:

• “My women may support me, but my brothers carry me.” 
• “When you can actually account for the humanity of the Black Men in your life and throw some grace and mercy on it, it gives you access to influence.” 
• “Now I have it that Black Men love me and take care of me. They provide for me and protect me. Because it’s true.” 
• “When you put yourself in his orbit and be your amazing self, he will find you.” 
• “Let’s meet the brothers who love us and who are taking care of us halfway. Let’s give them space, the grace, and room to speak their truth with no penalty, condemnation, or correction.” 
• “In order to heal, you’ve got to access grace and mercy. You’ve got to forgive and let go.” 

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre-order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. Be a Great Husband (feat. TD Jakes)
2. Internal Arguments: It’s Worth The Fight! -
3. The Self-Esteem of a Man
4. Healing With Him
5. The Power of Agreement - Bishop T.D. Jakes

Is there really such a thing as “choice?” Notice all the noise surrounding NBA Star, Kyrie Irving, standing for his “choice” to NOT be vaccinated. The amount of social and institutional pressure is huge. If one does not acquiesce, there are punitive consequences. Slavery was the exact same way.

This week, Dr. Venus does a deep dive into the illusion of choice, showing how those who have been historically marginalized have also been victims to “choose” a certain thing or action, or suffer the consequences. She gives examples of heartbreaking medical racism from Racial Eugenics (which Hitler modeled), the Tuskegee Experiment which sickened and killed HUNDREDS of Black Men, to Henrietta Lacks who had cells stolen for research.

Dr. Venus gives historical context as to why some Black people have a mistrust of vaccines, due to an industry that has a history of turning Black bodies into lab rats. However you feel about it, your feelings are valid. It’s a hot topic, but let’s talk about it.

Key Takeaways:

[1:13] What is choice when there are punitive consequences if you don’t comply? Dr. Venus explains how medical racism goes deep, and when we combine eugenics, even deeper.

[4:22] When an NBA player recently refused a vaccine, he lost money, playing time, and he was shamed by society. Is this really a choice? He lost more than half his income due to a policy, and Dr. Venus discusses how these policies are typically created by White people in power to affect those that tend to be marginalized even more.

[7:03] This perceived choice runs parallel to both slavery and reproductive rights. First, Black Men and Women had the “choice” to evade death by acquiescing, giving up their bodies and doing what White Men said in order to stay alive. Women had the “right” to choose to have a baby, but sometimes at the cost of laws being created against that, and forced sterilization. The way the world articulates it, it makes it sound that if you choose something other than what is being presented, you are going against what is good for the people. You can choose, but you just may lose your friends, job, money, etc.

[9:59] It is a historical wound and a FACT that the medical industry has taken our bodies and used them for science. Dr. Venus gives the emotional example of the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, with HUNDREDS of African-American men unknowingly serving as human guinea pigs. They let them die and be sick for research. We don’t want to live at the effect of it or be made to feel like we are doing something wrong when we have mistrust and doubt about medicine.

[16:32] Throughout history, rich White Men have tried to create the strongest race of people by sterilizing those that they deemed anything less than the best. Based on Darwinism, they sterilized over 8,000 people in the name of progress. If you were handicapped, poor, slow, of color, etc, you would have been killed.

[22:04] The violation of medical ethics with Tuskegee had a direct impact on medical ethics, but how do we still trust the system today? Dr. Venus gives another example with Henrietta Lacks, a Black woman whose cervical cancer cells were taken without consent in 1951, cloned and widely used for medical research.

[25:00] Whatever your choice is around the vaccine, you have every right to that. However, please know that our historical wounds are valid, and you are asking Black Men and Women to lay down logic and trust an institution that has built policies against us.

[30:20] Dr. Venus knows that at some point, she may have to take the vaccine. She can’t do a group Pilates class because she hasn’t gotten it. That’s just one example. They can take away people’s rights to fly, go to a restaurant, enter a bank, etc. There’s no choice. It’s a delayed punitive consequence, and it’s just the illusion of choice.

[32:32] Black people have been lab rats for medicine in America. Even if we can’t articulate it, we can feel it. As a Black person whose people have been experimented on, that is a valid truth. Do not feel pressured into a decision that you don’t feel good about.

[35:19] Dr. Venus does take health and COVID very seriously, and even lost her brother to it, and couldn’t be there with him because of the virus, or mourn him properly, in person, with her family. What she contends with is that if you have a right to choose to wear a mask or not, why can’t women choose to keep or terminate a pregnancy? If it’s my body my choice for reproductive rights, what’s the difference when it comes to vaccination?

Quotes:

• “When policies are put in place that have punitive consequences and they say you have a choice, what real choice do you have?”
• “If you have a right to choose a mask, why can’t I choose whether or not to keep a baby?”
• “Do not feel pressured into a decision that you don’t feel good about.”
• “There’s no choice. It’s a delayed punitive consequence. It’s the illusion of choice, that is the way supremacy works.”

Mentioned:

• Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 
• “Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 
• “Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series
• (https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)
• Pre-order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 
• Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe
• The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. Racism and discrimination in health care: Providers and patients
2. ‘My body, my choice’ mantra on vaccines should also apply for reproductive rights: Marvin A. McMickle
3. Right-wing figures co-opted “my body, my choice” to attack vaccine mandates
4. Reckoning with histories of medical racism and violence in the USA
5. Racial Eugenics

Where there is a woman, there is magic. Specifically, a Black Woman. Black Women are the mother of civilization. Spiritually. Consciously. Emotionally. That is a lot of power, yet we tend to forget this and fail to see or relate to ourselves as the source of life itself. We see ourselves as victims and strong, but not the author of our own story, and the force behind the world’s energy and function. This week, Dr. Venus goes in on why we must embrace the truth of our power as the mother of civilization in order to heal. If we don’t, chaos will ensue. She also discusses how we can stop warring with Black Men and let them help in their own way to make our lives better, one toaster at a time.

Key Takeaways:

[2:29] We can not have wholeness without each other, and Dr. Venus is creating a community for Black Women to support, learn from one another, and have fun!

[4:27] Black Woman, you are quite literally the mother of civilization. The Eve gene is the mitochondrial gene in our DNA that goes back to Africa and points at the genetic makeup of humanity. Civilization started in your womb, but you have been indoctrinated to believe that other people do more and are worth more. No other race or nationality of women have this particular gene, and it’s important to understand your God-given power.

[6:33] We check our bloodlines for disease and addictions, but what about blessings? How come we can’t be predisposed to power? Dr. Venus explains that we are born to transform this world and your bloodline is just one of many things that make you UNIQUE and special.

[8:46] Yes, we have been victimized, but we don’t have to be victims. Bad things were designed to happen so you become stronger. It's a training ground for getting to the next level. It does not discredit your lived experience and valid story to move out of the pain and to be focused on the future.

[12:20] Haters try to take away how special you are and deny your power. You don’t really realize that your power is SO amazing that they have to create lies, hide, and pretend that you are nothing in order to justify their behavior. Dr. Venus asks you to get more committed to your freedom than to being right about how you’ve been wronged. One way to do that is to contend with your bloodline.

[19:32] When Black Women are mad and they don’t claim their power, the world falls apart. People can’t think straight, we have natural disasters, the world as a whole gets flustered.

[22:36] Black Men have been attacked and exploited as much, if not more than Black Women. We position masculinity inside of a particular kind of paradigm, so it never gets talked about. Abused people tend to act out what has been done to them. These practices were created in the belly of White Supremacy, and the more we can empower our Black Men, the more they take care of us in their own way.

[29:44] Dr. Venus shares how she is letting her man show his love through buying her a TV and a toaster, two things that she may not need, but can let him take care of her in his own way. When we stop fighting, even if we don’t agree, we can empower their power.

[32:48] When we embrace our power from a spiritual and ancestral level, we can actually impact the people and climate from the inside out. But it can’t happen without you.

Quotes:

• “Where there's a woman, there is magic. Specifically, when she's a Black Woman.”
• “I’m asking you to embrace what you cannot see, touch, or taste. I’m asking you to embrace your spirit and to embrace that aspect of you that is eternal.”
• “Everything that is happening in the world is a function of Black Women not claiming our power.”
• “I’m never discrediting your lived experience, but what I’m doing is questioning how you deal with it.”

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre-order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. Scientists Think They've Found 'Mitochondrial Eve's' First Homeland
2. January 1988 Scientists Reveal That The Black Woman is The Mother of HumanKind ( Mitochondrial Eve /Mothers )
3. THE INNER WORLD
4. Black Witches, African Priestesses, Wise Women And the Convergence of The Black Feminine in Spirituality
5. Healing the black man and woman's relationship (The Revolution Is A Lifestyle pt.2)

Dr. Venus loves Black Men. Their brilliance, their attitude, their mind, and perspective. Yet somehow, she finds her feelings get hurt when they do things that feel as if they are not standing with her. We march for Black Men when it comes to social change, and yet when it comes to our right to choose, you “man up” and side with patriarchy? REALLY? As more laws are introduced and passed to greatly handicap women of all races in America for their right to choose to terminate a pregnancy, Dr. Venus goes in this week on why some Brothers may agree with the government rather than with their Sisters. They support with their absence when we march, their silence on the topic, and their faith-based posturing. How is this possible? Well, America’s very nature is to be two-faced, and it has EVERYTHING to do with masculinity and power. Let’s talk about it.

Key Takeaways:

[1:20] As laws are introduced AND PASSED to make it hard for women of all races to take care of themselves, Dr. Venus asks the rhetorical question; when it’s time to march for social justice, we are there. But why is it, when it comes to our bodies, Black Men go silent?

[2:44] When it comes to Black power, a lot of men feel that it’s great when it is social and comes to the right to vote or for better policing standards, but not important when it’s concerning the Black female body. It may not matter to you now, but it will when it’s your niece or sister that is pregnant and needs help.

[5:25] How do you expect women (and all communities) to stay alive and healthy if the government is pulling funding around reproductive rights and trying to take away the woman’s right to choose what is best for her body?

[7:04] Dr. Venus gives the historical context around Black Men being pimped and sexually exploited, and how that may affect their view on being pro-choice. Black Men have been sexually exploited since they came to this country, and have a complicated relationship with sexuality. Plantation slavery not only turned the Black Female body into a factory but socially rewarded Black Men for producing as many babies as they could during slavery.

[10:13] Because of this, there may be a level of numbness or emotional detachment from Black Masculinity around reproduction. We don’t talk about this, and it is a deep subject that calls for Black Men and Women to talk openly about these historical wounds.

[12:12] Women are socially positioned as the homemaker, and there is a belief that women are responsible for the children.

[16:42] Dr. Venus calls bs on the brothers who say they are our partners, but they are quiet. As we march and stand for our social justice, we need to feel it back when it comes time for us to be supported about our reproductive rights.

[19:31] If you really love Black Women, and women in general, raise your voice. Pull up.

[22:38] We don’t need to always agree to align. Dr. Venus gives this example through the man she is dating now. She doesn’t agree with him on many things and still finds a lot of his views to be patriarchal, but defends his right to say his piece.

[23:02] Not everyone will be in agreement about abortion, but what we want is alignment. What’s going to empower us as a people is unity, and that is across the board.

[25:06] If our men sit down around reproductive rights and we sit down around police reform, everyone loses. It’s hard to stand for something when the people you’re standing for don’t stand with you. Dr. Venus discusses the heartbreak she felt when she found out that 12% of Black Men voted for Trump. She had to adjust and realize that they have a right to vote for whomever they want to.

[29:06] You don’t have to agree or understand to stand with someone having a choice, but you have to be aware of the impact. It’s going to affect not only your family but will show up in poor Black communities and POC communities first, when they start shutting down health care clinics and Planned Parenthoods where people also get vaccines and health care treatments.

Quotes:

• “I can align, even if I don’t agree.” 
• “Pro-choice is a choice. Empower me to have a choice.”
• “We want to talk about the politics of the police, but what about the politics of the Black female body?”
• “We are real quick to support each other around social justice, but what about reproductive justice?”
• “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” - Voltaire
• “What I want is alignment. What I want is solidarity. What’s going to empower us as a people is unity, and that is across the board.”
• “Even if you don’t agree with my choice, back  me on it.”

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre-order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. These Black Men Pushed Abortion Access Before ‘Roe’
2. Where Are All Of The Pro-Choice Men?
3. Black man silences medical workers vocal for BLM by asking, ‘Do aborted black babies matter?’ 
4. On Rape Culture, Masculinity and Reproductive Justice
5. Black Patriarchy: Where Men Rule but Refuse to Build
6. The Rape of a Nation and the Reconstruction of Black Masculinity

Five Fundamental Arguments Men Historically Use to Legally Act Out “Power” on Women’s Bodies That Black Masculinity Empower.

1. Women are the weaker sex.
2. Women are not as intelligent as men.
3. Women are emotional.
4. A Woman’s role is in the home.
5. A Woman needs a man.

Loving yourself as a Black Woman is a revolutionary act. It goes against everything we have been taught and have seen in society. Even harder is loving yourself and keeping yourself as the priority when you get in a relationship. Dr. Venus knows that self-love is often the first thing that goes out the window. Everything gets dropped, compromised, or pushed to the back burner. We self-sacrifice and twist ourselves up into a pretzel, all at the expense of our respect, pride, time, and energy.

But what if there was another way?

This week, Dr. Venus goes in on how loving yourself is actually the BASIS of being in love, instead of self-sacrifice. She explains why it has been our survival strategy to over-give and shares 8 teaching points on how to take care of you while you love someone that loves you.

Key Takeaways:

[3:48] We are taught to self-sacrifice under the idea that it is what we need to do in order to get love back. How many times have you twisted yourself up into a pretzel for someone else, in hopes that if we love someone enough or be who we think they want us to be, they will love us back?

[4:47] Have you ever had someone vilify you when you don’t love them the way they feel you should? Dr. Venus has, and it doesn’t feel good. As Black women, we are taught that in order to get love, it’s okay to put our respect and pride second to someone else’s needs.

[7:23] Using your wounds as a weapon is not love, that is control. As Black Women, we tend to suffocate our love or push it away, because we aren’t used to just letting things be and feeling that what we are giving or who we are is enough.

[8:04] When you heal enough to let love in, the question becomes — how do you keep taking care of yourself while you love someone that loves you?

[12:21] There is a difference between changing your boundaries because you trust someone, and doing it because you feel you have to keep them.

 [12:47] How do you hold your own boundaries and tend to yourself when someone else gives you their attention? Here are 8 Teaching Points that are key to putting yourself first while being in love.

1. Raise your standards. What you need now is not what you used to need.
2. Make and keep your personal boundaries as an act of EMPOWERING the relationship.
3. Know what your wounds are and don’t take on your loved one's wounds. It will only handicap your love and exhaust you.
4. Love someone who INSISTS you keep your routines so you are in your power.
5. Love is different from workability. Focus on the workability of the relationship.
6. Taking care of yourself does not mean you are neglecting your love. Don’t feel guilty!
7. Heal, or leave with love. Everyone has wounds. If you or your love don’t put in the work to heal, leave the relationship with dignity, honor and respect.
8. Fall in love with yourself daily.

[18:28] We are accountable for our wounds. If you are triggered, take care of yourself first. You have to tend to yourself. When two wounded people get together who are not doing the work to heal, it is a bloody mess.

[26:06] When you take care of yourself, it’s an act of love for others around you.

[29:19] Leave the relationship with dignity and love, don’t ever leave in anger. We think love conquers all but when a person is wounded, they are in their past and sometimes it doesn’t mix with your needs. Don’t be mad at your love if they can’t change either, and give them grace as you leave.

Quotes:

• “Self-love is a radical act. It is telling history to kiss your Black ass.”
• “If you can’t be honest about how you disappear when someone else loves you, how will you ever know you are gone?”
• “I have to keep my routines to serve the relationship, not sacrifice them for the relationship.”
• “The more you love yourself, the more you make room for others to love you.”
• “There is a difference between changing your boundaries because you trust someone, and doing it because you feel you have to keep them.”
• “Love does not mean you tolerate people’s bad behavior.”
• “When you take care of yourself, it’s an act of love for others around you.”

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre-order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. SELF LOVE WHILE BEING IN LOVE
2. THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF LOVE IN RELATIONSHIPS: 4 THINGS TO KNOW
3. How to Develop Self-Love and Why This Will Strengthen Your Relationship
4. How To Prioritize Self-Love While You’re In A Relationship
5. Black Girl in Love (with Herself): A Guide to Self-Love, Healing, and Creating the Life You Truly Deserve

Absolute power creates absolute corruption. When a person is not held accountable, they take that freedom for granted and make others do what they want, and then penalize them (sometimes to the point of death) if they don’t. When a person has power and others don’t, without proper checks and balances, the person who has power will become corrupt. To fully understand this and the way of humans, we must look at the history of policing.This week, Dr. Venus goes in on slave patrollers in North America. What their purpose was, how they built their power into laws, and how our ancestors took a stand against them. In the present day, we see this clearly by the police knowing they have qualified immunity and the lack of accountability for their blatant abuse of power. But, what if at the source of all the killing - the problem ISN’T skin color, but absolute, unchecked power? Also, what needs to be created such that absolute power was a thing of the past? This is a deep one this week. Let’s talk about it. 

Key Takeaways:

[2:23] In order to know themselves as powerful, those with the most control often minimize humanity. Which is ironic, because oftentimes they got in the position of power in the first place because they were good with people. 

[7:43] Dr. Venus shares how organized slave patrols served as a function to police slaves, especially the “ornery” and “defiant” ones. That means the ones who stood up for themselves and their rights. 

The only reason we needed a slave patron is because we were fighting back and standing for ourselves. History makes us sound and weak and gullible, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is that we fought. 

[8:11] Knowledge is power, and it’s important to know the real history of where slave patrons originated, and what exactly they did. Slave patrols were first established in South Carolina in 1704,  they had absolute control over Black bodies, and the laws made sure this was upheld and protected. 

[12:23] Slave patrols were designed to “help” White people, and the laws written gave them the absolute power to do anything to the Black body to keep the White people safe. This includes monitoring, controlling, terrorizing, and maiming the Black body. 

[14:21] If we look at the nature of human beings in different countries, we see the same breakdown of absolute power. Absolute power is unchecked power. It corrupts people, and it changes them. 

[19:21] Dr. Venus breaks down the power and control dynamic between abusive relationships and pimps. It becomes so unchecked that they have absolute power over another person, and it turns into a form of damaging corruption. For the pimps and the abusers, their victims feel as though they need them and they are nothing without them. They are disconnected to humanity and see their power as a way of enforcing their rules. 

[25:07] We are dealing with the very nature of what it means to be a human being when we look at what happens when someone gets absolute control. If something is left unchecked, the controller will dehumanize other people in order to know itself as powerful - whether it’s a pimp, slave patrol, or domestic abuser. 

[29:45] As a human being, without accountability we default into selfishness. 

[30:14] What if we can be a human that is being, instead of a human being? 

[31:12] Dr. Venus’s tech platform is creating a space for Black Women that are healed and who love themselves, and that is the real power. Real power comes from not controlling others, but being able to lift them up and create structures that help everybody win. 

[35:06] Ask yourself - where are you using your power to dominate and control? Where are you giving your power away? Where are you contending with power? 

Quotes:

• “Absolute power is unchecked power. It corrupts. It changes people.” 
• “We aren’t fighting. We are standing.” 
• “As a human being, without accountability we default into selfishness.” 
• “What if we can be a human that is being, instead of a human being?”  
• “History makes us sound and weak and gullible, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is that we fought.” 

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. Slave Patrols: An Early Form of American Policing
2. The Birth Of American Policing, Slave Patrols
3. THE ORIGINS OF MODERN-DAY POLICING
4. Absolutism and Corruption
5. The science behind why power corrupts and what can be done to mitigate it

Sis, your bank account NEVER lies. Dr. Venus is not blaming you, and she comes from a place of love, but if you are not thriving, take the case that YOU have something to do with it. Manifesting is a power each of us have, yet there are many reasons we don’t get purposeful and intentional about what it is we want or take the necessary action to get there. The world can feel cray-cray, very negative, and it’s normal to feel hopeless and frustrated…if you are average. When you are average, you get pulled in by the currents of the latest catastrophe, celebrity gossip, or the most recent case of blatant racism/sexism/classism, etc. But YOU are not average. This week, Dr. Venus talks about INTENTIONALLY manifesting profit from a place of purpose instead of pain or problems. She also gives resources to become a conduit for money at an energetic level. 

Key Takeaways:

[5:55] We are built to manifest, and it is our divine birthright. Every human has an intrinsic power within themselves to manifest, but society and culture often makes us believe that we can’t, or don’t have it within us. We are often in survival mode, using our power to survive instead of purposefully manifesting. As Black Women, we pray from a place of desperation and need, and we typically manifest from there as well. 

[9:16] You are a part of something bigger than yourself. You are cultural consciousness, not just individual consciousness. 

[10:54] Dr. Venus speaks about the two types of manifestation: she found life saving resources of food and clothes in church, but it came from the prayers of need and pain. Her first million dollar home was manifested from a deep knowing and setting her intentions on what it was she wanted and what it would feel like when she got it.  

[12:48] Both experiences showed Dr. Venus the power of manifestation, but the second one was from a clear intention that activated in her what was possible when you get aligned and clear. 

[15:47] So often we get caught up in the human race's consciousness and go with the flow, and there is nothing wrong with that, but more comes when we are focused and intentional. Dr. Venus gives the example of the March, and how true change came from our leaders focusing their intention and taking inspired action.  

[19:11] If you need to see how you are manifesting, look at your money. 

[21:17] Whatever we believe we will get from a certain person or experience usually comes true. Dr. Venus discusses changing up her belief systems when it comes to working with certain people including White Women, and giving them the space to show up and be trustworthy and productive. 

[23:57] Black Women are the measure, and it is up to us to heal, speak up, and stand up for ourselves. We must manifest what is possible and not from our pain and not from something petty. 

[24:01] DDr. Venus is committed to helping birth Black Women Billionaires learn to step into their purpose and passion. We can learn from past betrayals and feel the emotions that come with them, but we can’t get stuck and let us block our future. 

[26:55] Commit to manifesting that which moves you forward. In order to fully heal and create purposefully, you have to shift from “me” to “we”. 

[28:17] If you start saying and believing that Black Men love you, they need you, and they are trustworthy, you will attract ones that fit the mold. 

[29:11] When you stand in your power, you set the example for young women and generations to come. They will see your strength and model it. Dr. Venus saw her Nana model grace and mercy, two qualities that help her deeply today. 

[30:22] You have to be willing to win energetically from your heart first. If you are constantly dwellimg in how you have been wronged, this will hold you back and keep you blocked. The things that have happened to you may not be your fault, but they are your problem and responsibility to heal. 

[32:01] You are not average and not regular. You are exceptional, and once you fully know this, manifesting from a place of pain to manifesting from purpose will be easy. Dr. Venus’s intention is to empower you and your power.

[34:34] You need to be committed to winning and accountable, and Dr. Venus will provide numerous resources and support to her Black Women that step up. 

[34:43] If you are the only one around that has money or need to keep people small so you can feel big, that is not real winning. True wealth is being able to help those around you and change the infrastructure to help generations to come. 

Quotes:

•  “If you need to see how you are manifesting, look at your money.” 
• “Commit to manifesting that which moves you forward.” 
• “You are not average and not regular. You are exceptional.” 
• “ It is an intentional choice, I am manifesting billionaires, called YOU!” 

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. Are You Manifesting Pain?
2. Manifesting Your Soul's Purpose with Dr. Wayne Dyer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nIAwUJv2Eo

1. Life Visioning Kit: A Step-by-Step Process for Realizing Your Highest Potential
2. You Can Heal Your Life (Gift Edition)
3. The Prophet (A Borzoi Book) Hardcover – September 23, 1923
4. Wayne Dyer - Power of Intention part 1

Love and money require one thing from you - you being willing to receive. However, it’s only fair that given the betrayal and oppression we have had as Black Women, we often have a negative relationship to money, opening our hearts, and loving each other. However, if we want to manifest and to live in our own power, we must heal the hurts of the past to make room for an awe-inspiring future. 

This week, Dr. Venus shares a secret that changed the game for BOTH love and money. She shares how to bring more of each into your life with grace and ease, why our heart space is the conduit for both, and what it looks like when someone is “energetically constipated”. She shares a recent example where she switched from anger to forgiveness and mercy, and the blessings that flowed to her as a result. Ready to let abundant love and money into your life? Let’s talk about it.

Key Takeaways:

[4:42] Dr. Venus gives an update on her app, due to launch in early 2022. In the meantime, there will be plenty of opportunities to get in early, pre-order, and join a community of inclusivity and diversity. There will be monthly meetings and Zoom calls with powerful Black Women, and even some fun stand up comedy by Dr. Venus herself! 

[7:36] We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Even our ancestors knew that we aren’t our bodies, but we can still have a vision for what we want our children and future generations to have. Since we are spiritual beings, we are connected to each other and all that is, and everything is a manifestation of God, however God or the universe shows up for you. Dr. Venus believes God is smart, and we can tap into the energy in whatever way feels right for us. 

[9:57] God needs a conduit to manifest love, money, and abundance. You have to see it first before you can achieve it, and this energy has to be in our consciousness first before money or love shows up tangibly in our life. That conduit is your heart. 

[11:55] When we are in the flow of grace, forgiveness, and self love, we can manifest more easily. When we are mad or desperate, the ability to become a conduit becomes less clear and more blocked. 

[12:54] Dr. Venus explains “energetic constipation” and how to know if you are blocked or cut off from receiving directly from source energy. Life can break your heart and close your channels, but the more mercy and grace you allow, the more love and money will flow. But that means tending to your heart space daily. 

[16:57] If you want your life to be easy and things to work, you are going to have to forgive and tend to you instead of tending to others. 

[20:34] Dr. Venus shares her experience with her gentleman suitor, and how they communicated through a breakdown. She realized some triggers and how it was leading her to feel the same way she did when her mom put her on the streets at only 16 years old. She moved past the pain of the past, and cognitively chose to forgive him and receive from a place of mercy. As she softened her heart, she allowed not only that relationship to deepen and grow, but others that are an energetic match for her, including Black Women soon to be millionaires and billionaires. 

[26:44] The easy part is money, but we often think it’s the hardest. The most difficult is often being open to receive guidance and instruction. 

[28:01] If you are wanting to manifest millions and a partner worthy of your love, you have to be willing to receive. 

Quotes:

•  “My spirit can not be tarnished. It can not be touched. It can not be finagled, and it can not be bought.” 

• “Money and love are energy, and they need a conduit to manifest in your life. That conduit is your heart.” 

• “Healing first, money second.” 

• “Love and money require one thing from you - you being willing to receive.” 

• “The more we heal, the more we are able to receive.” 

• “If you are wanting to manifest millions and a partner worthy of your love, you have to be willing to receive.” 

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Pre order the GurrlApp here: www.TheGurrlApp.com/presale 

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. The Energy Of Money And Love

2. 3 WAYS TO UNDERSTAND THE ENERGY OF MONEY 

3. Heart Energy: The Secret To Law of Attraction 

4. Abraham Hicks | Let Yourself Be Open To Receive | LOA

5. How I Learned to Love Black Women

6. 10 Reasons We Love Dating Black Men

Does it always feel like you are fighting someone or something? Dr. Venus does. She’s had to fight daily her whole life, whether it’s against injustice, racism, sexism, or homophobia. Sure, fighting can help, but it’s also exhausting and often leaves us feeling like we have no room to breathe. But sis, what if the problem isn’t the woes of the world - from Haiti to Afghanistan to Racial injustice, but it is our approach? 

If we aren’t fighting, how do we enact effective social change and make the world better than we found it? This week, Dr. Venus looks at the greats including Gandhi, Rosa Parks, and Dr. King. She shares the thread that they share and how they changed the world - and it wasn’t fighting. What can we learn from them that can help us blaze our trails without burning out? Let’s talk. 

Key Takeaways:

[4:26] It can feel exhausting just fighting what’s going on in today’s societies. Between hurricanes, the pandemic, and dealing with the Karen’s of society, we could all use a little rest and relaxation time. Dr. Venus takes personal development classes so she is always working on herself and getting some moments of growth and healing in between all these things we deal with. You are your first client, and make sure you are putting the time and work into yourself. 

[6:34] How do we make a difference in a way that doesn’t burn us out? First, Dr. Venus knew it was important to look at the greats to see how they actually affected real change in the world without totally depleting themselves. She started with people she admired: Gandhi, Dr. King, Rosa Parks, Thoreau. She realized that they were not fighting. They were standing. Standing for something they deeply believed in. There were actions that went with their mission, but they didn’t fight. 

[11:25] Fighting escalates things, while standing for something enacts real change. 

[14:13] We can get more done with non-compliance than we can with fighting. Think about your strong suits and what you are naturally good at. For Dr. Venus, it’s healing and money. She knows that she can get more done by taking her superpowers and using them to create a digital platform for Black women to network and heal, without being shut down. Her platform is redirecting the conversation and non compliant to the structures that don’t allow us to talk, or that try to keep us held down. 

[17:23] How compliant are you? Are you still fighting in your family, your relationships, or self? Dr. Venus is not fighting anyone anymore. She is standing for herself and what she’s using her life for. This brings a different energy to the table, and allows us to heal and grow in a new way. 

[20:46] You aren’t free until you have your own money. Our ancestors built their own and spent so much blood, sweat, and tears getting us to where we are now. We owe it to them to take a stand in what we believe in and to show our non compliance by building and participating in our own structures. 

[23:08] Since George Flloyd, Dr. Venus has been protesting, and now she is ready to start back up taking on private clients and helping birth Black Women millionaires and billionaires. 

Quotes:

•  “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein

• “Dr. King wasn’t fighting. He was standing for something.” 

• “I’m not fighting anyone anymore. I’m standing for myself and what I’m using my life for.” 

• “You aren’t free until you have your own money.” 
• “How compliant are you?” 

Mentioned:

Dr. Venus Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Amazon Pilot 

“Hot Mess Millionaire” Complete Series

(https://www.youtube.com/c/DrVenusOpalReese)

Join the conversation! Hot Mess Millionaire Facebook Group

Free Gift When You Join The Truth Tribe

The Black Woman Millionaire Hot Mess Edition

ATTENTION BLACK WOMEN:

If you want to be THE FIRST to know about ALL things Dr. Venus’ tech start-up, fill out the form below so you get access FIRST to updates, launches, and the behind the scene scoop! http://bit.ly/DrVenusAppInfo

RESOURCES

1. Leave India
2. King, Gandhi, Thoreau: Civil Disobedience
3. Non-compliance: Montgomery Bus Boycott
4. Why You Need to Stand Up For What You Believe In And How to Do It
5. 10 Powerful Ways to Stand Up For Yourself in Any Situation
6. How Standing Up Yourself Can Improve Your Financial Life