I’ve had a pattern in my marriage.

I feel hurt by something.

The kids or Elizabeth ignoring me. The kids being rude. Elizabeth turning away from a hug or kiss.

Then, I get mad.

I pull away. I think to myself “Fine, if they don’t want me then they can pay for everything themselves!”

I picture leaving them alone to fend for themselves.

I can say mean things and get angry when I feel this way.

Then later, I calm down and regret this…

But there’s been damage done. I’ve scared my family and created lack of safety.

I’ve been trying to get rid of this pattern for a LONG time.

But I feel like I’ve found the answer.

It’s working on my inner child.

You see, my inner child is looking for my family to provide unconditional love. To take care of me.

And, my younger me’s do need that.

But, it’s not my kids’ job to take care of me. It’s my job to take care of them.

And, it’s not my wife’s job to be my unconditionally loving “mother.” It’s our job to work in partnership in life together. She needs a husband, not another kid.

And so, it falls on me to parent those younger me’s and give them unconditional love.

I’m just starting the journey, and I think it’s the key to breaking some very difficult patterns.

Learn more on today’s episode.

Watch on YouTube here.

And to become a man who makes this generation better than the last, join us in Strong Men Strong Marriages.

Dr. Mike

P.S. Let’s work together to become Grounded Leaders of ourselves, our families, and our work by becoming connected to The Vine and each other. CLICK HERE to apply. https://mikefraziermd.mykajabi.com/grounded-leadership