Hey newlyweds,

What do you do if your husband is spending more time on his phone than communicating with you? What will this mean when kids come along (if they haven't already) and how he's going to be able to connect to him? What if he's getting defensive when you ask him to put away his phone? How much are phones supposed to be used in a healthy marriage?

This week we're talking all about the "other wife"--your husband's phone 

This topic can make us crazy--I get it--but we're going to focus on a practical framework to work on this area in your home. 

Because let's face it... you probably have a phone, too...

Check out this week's episode for a four-step solution to unhealthy phone usage in your new marriage.

Here are the steps for you to review when you come back to implement this material!

Step 1. The Brain Dump (and analyze)

Step 2. Your Vision

Step 3. Self-Work

Step 4. Pick Your Timeline.

I love hearing your questions and I recently got two questions that deserved a better answer than I could give in a quick online chat. Both women were asking about getting what they need from their husbands. Our first question deals with not feeling connected to a husband who travels a lot and doesn't help out when he's home. Our second question is about not getting validation when she needs it. Thank you so much for sending in your questions! If you'd like to send in a question, you can do so @firstyearmarried on Instagram.

 I am a big fan of Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages. However, I've been seeing some women use this powerful information in a way that actually hurts their relationship, not help it. This week I'll give you a quick overview of the 5 Love Languages, tell you the trap you want to avoid, and how to use this material to benefit your marriage the most.

The 5 Love Languages Book*: https://amzn.to/2Zwz4eX

*affiliate link

 Baby on the way? Or maybe just thoughts of a baby on the way? 

The transition to life with a new baby is a major one and these five pointers are what we learned from our four children and what kept us sane--and our marriage healthy--during this phase. 

You can also check out Ruchi Koval's podcast here:  Out of the Orthobox

 Go to Audible to listen to Alison Armstrong's workshop, The Amazing Development of Men (affiliate link). 

This week I had my husband back on the podcast to talk about a man's perspective about what it means to give. This is a follow up to "Episode 30 - Just Ask!". It's so helpful to hear a guys perspective on this topic. As I share in the podcast, this is my #1 challenge and something that I know shifts they dynamic of the relationship in a very positive way.

What's the one thing you can do to transform the dynamic of your relationship? Start asking for what you want. Sound easy? It's not. For most of us, even identifying what we want is hard--it's not the things we're nagging him about, it's the deeper, more meaningful things that would truly light us up. It's the things we can't do on our own or get for ourselves--and it's so hard sometimes to admit that there's a limit to our independence. But when we lean into that vulnerability and offer him a real chance to win, the payoff in your relationship is unbelievable. By the way, this is an area I personally struggle with SO MUCH... so expect to hear more about it in the future!

Isn't this a nice, friendly-sounding podcast episode? Here you are, trying to feel connected and in love with your husband, and I go and get depressing on you. Don't worry. This week's episode will teach you a fantastic framework taken from Jewish wisdom that we can all use as a self-coaching exercise to clarify who YOU are in your relationship and your goals for yourself on the deepest level. When we learn to frame our marriages, and all of our relationships and life situations, in the context of personal development, it creates an entirely new context.

I was really excited about this episode when I recorded it, but after living with this work for a few weeks I'm convinced EVERY woman needs to hear it. Years of struggling with accepting my appearance just... over. It's a little bit advanced, but I think it will at least plant a very important seed, even for those who aren't familiar with thought work.

Please listen and forward to the women in your lives, whether they are newly married or not.

This week we are talking about how to dis-overwhelm yourself (yes, I made that up). I'll teach you the few simple steps to clarify your vision for the most difficult areas of your life and how to pursue achieve it, including the surprising reason we often lose track of our vision.