How to have Extraordinary Relationships

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In this deeply moving episode, Lucy Cavendish speaks with ceramic sculptor Fiamma Montagu about the death of her daughter Ischia, who died by suicide at the age of 17, and the long, complex journey of living with grief that followed.

Fiamma shares the shock and disbelief surrounding Ischia’s death, as well as her family’s experience of the mental health system and their concerns about the support Ischia received from CAMHS and other healthcare services despite previous suicide attempts.

She talks candidly about the surreal practicalities that accompany devastating loss, from arranging a funeral while barely able to function to pursuing an inquest and trying to understand the circumstances surrounding her daughter’s death.

The conversation also explores what healing can mean when there is no simple way to “move on.” Fiamma describes the practices that have helped her continue living, including exercise, breathwork, yoga, group therapy with other parents bereaved by suicide, Buddhist retreats and pilgrimages.

At the heart of her journey has been a growing connection with spirituality, self-love and acceptance. Rather than claiming to have overcome her grief, Fiamma speaks about learning to live alongside it and, in her words, to live “gracefully.”

Lucy and Fiamma also discuss creativity and the role of art in her life. Fiamma is an accomplished ceramic sculptor whose work has included involvement with the celebrated Tower of London poppy installation, alongside new public art commissions.

A powerful conversation about motherhood, profound loss, the shortcomings families can encounter within mental health care, and the possibility of finding meaning, connection and moments of beauty after unimaginable tragedy.

In this episode

• The sudden reality of losing a child to suicide
• Fiamma’s experience of CAMHS and mental health services
• The forthcoming inquest
• Navigating funeral arrangements and an inquest while grieving
• Why physical movement and breathwork became important
• Finding support among other suicide-bereaved parents
• Buddhism, retreats, pilgrimage and spirituality
• Self-love and learning to live alongside grief
• The healing role of creativity and sculpture
• Fiamma’s work on the Tower of London poppy installation
• Learning to live “gracefully” without pretending grief disappears

Content note: This episode contains discussion of suicide, suicide attempts, bereavement and mental health difficulties. Please listen with care.

www.fiammamontagu.co.uk

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Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Bel Mooney is an acclaimed British journalist, broadcaster, author and long-running newspaper columnist whose career has spanned more than five decades. Best known for her thoughtful and compassionate advice column, Bel has become one of the UK's most trusted voices on relationships, family life and the everyday challenges of being human.

A familiar face and voice across television and radio, she has presented and contributed to programmes for the BBC, ITV and Channel 4, while also writing bestselling novels, memoirs and non-fiction. Her work is known for combining warmth, honesty and sharp insight, encouraging people to navigate life's complexities with empathy and resilience.

In this episode, Bel joins Lucy to explore love, friendship, family dynamics and what truly makes relationships flourish. Drawing on a lifetime of listening to people's stories, she shares practical wisdom, heartfelt reflections and timeless advice on building deeper, more meaningful connections.

Key Points of the episode:

• Her variety of accents!
• Her pride in her background
• Her impressive CV and working life
• How she never used to read the very thing she ended up writing!
• How she marries after 3 months and divorced ater 35 years.
• Why she does not like the term "agony aunt"
• Her love of print media
• How one powerful article left a lasting legacy in the world.
• Some top tips for living well.

Read her column in the Daily Mail or check her out here:

www.belmooney.co.uk, or email [email protected]

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Singer, songwriter, musician and renowned ukulele teacher Sam Brown on what happened when she lost her voice - an dhow she survived it. Her loss, as she explains, was triggered by trauma; the death of her wonderful mother at a relatively young age from cancer and her own marriage breakdown.

What do you do when your world is music? Best known for her iconic hit Stop! and a remarkable career performing with artists including Pink Floyd, David Gilmour, Jools Holland, George Harrison and Elton John, Sam has sold more than three million records worldwide. Then her voice just went.

She talks of how she tried everything to get is back but to no avail.

After losing her singing voice in 2007, Sam reinvented her musical life, building a thriving community through her Fabulous Ukulele Clubs, where she now teaches hundreds of students both in person and online. Her story is one of courage, humour and finding new purpose when life takes an unexpected turn. 

In this episode, we explore the healing power of music, the importance of human connection, and how extraordinary relationships can help us navigate life's biggest challenges with hope, authenticity and joy.

 It's an inspiring conversation about creativity, resilience and the relationships that shape our lives and, of course, the International Ukelele Club of Sonning Common.. 

Key Points of the Episode:

• Her relationship with her singer Dad Joe Brown
• Her beginnings in the music business
• The shocking twist of fate that changed her life radically.
• The mind/body reason for the loss of her voice
• The eventual incredible (partial) solution
• The club she started that grew exponentially
• Her new music releases.
• Her musings on past choices
• The legacy she is leaving and her message.

www.misssambrown.com

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Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Maggie O'Kane is a highly-acclaimed, well respected journalists and documentary filmmaker with a career spanning more than four decades. Renowned for fearless investigative reporting, she first established her reputation covering conflicts across Eastern Europe and the Balkans before becoming one of The Guardian's most acclaimed foreign correspondents. Her reporting from the Siege of Sarajevo during the Bosnian War earned widespread praise for its vivid, compassionate storytelling and won her numerous journalism awards, including UK Journalist of the Year and the Amnesty International Media Award. 

After moving into documentary filmmaking, O'Kane became Editorial Director of Guardian Films, producing award-winning investigations into war crimes, human rights abuses, violence against women and global injustice. Her films have appeared on British and international broadcasters and have been recognised for combining rigorous journalism with powerful human stories. 

In recent years, Maggie O'Kane has devoted much of her work to ending Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). She helped lead The Guardian's groundbreaking global campaign against FGM, using journalism not simply to report the issue but to amplify the voices of survivors and frontline campaigners. The initiative highlighted the experiences of women and girls across Africa, the Middle East and migrant communities worldwide, bringing international attention to the issue through documentaries, investigations and public campaigns. 

Today she serves as Executive Director and co-founder of the Global Media Campaign to End FGM and is also Executive Director of Frontline Ending FGM. Working alongside grassroots organisations across multiple African countries, she champions locally led solutions, supports survivor networks, develops media campaigns and helps strengthen systems that protect girls at risk. Her approach has been widely recognised for placing affected communities, rather than outside organisations, at the centre of efforts to eradicate FGM. 

Throughout her career, Maggie O'Kane has demonstrated how journalism can do more than inform. By exposing injustice, giving a platform to survivors and helping drive international action, she has shown the powerful role investigative reporting can play in advancing human rights. Her work on FGM stands as one of the most significant examples of journalism being used as a catalyst for lasting social change.

• Her list of professional accolades, and what she pioneers now.
• Her backstory and how it all began.
• Her story of being a "refugee from Belfast"
• A meaningful coincidence.
• The most dramatic situations she has been in.
• How she felt invincible.
• Why she was familiar with ethnic cleansing from her childhood, so could see through the lies in Yugoslavia.
• The most terrifying experience of her life.
• Why she should not have gone back to Belfast, but did 5 years later with her family.
• The miscarriages she had (5).
• Her dinner with Peter Mandelson.
• Her experience with Nelson Mandela.
• Her experience at a Buddhist retreat.
• An exclusive and deeply honest reveal.
• Her incredible work in the FGM world.
• ...and what needs to change...
• But how they are passionately campaigning with a beautiful, celebratory campaign.
• New laws being passed (albeit slowly)

www.globalmediacampaign.org

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Dr Susannah Self is a British composer, conductor and former mezzo soprano whose work spans opera, orchestral music and choral composition. 

She is a highly successful woman in what is predominantly a man's world. Her compositions garner international acclaim.

After an international singing career of more than 25 years, she turned her focus to composition, earning both an MPhil from the University of Cambridge and a PhD in Composition from Birmingham Conservatoire. She originally trained at the Royal College of Music, where she studied singing, composition and conducting, and also received scholarships from the Royal Society of Arts and the Banff Centre in Canada, where she worked with the pioneering composer John Cage. 

Self has composed four operas, including The Butt, based on Will Self's novel and premiered at the Musiktheatertage Festival in Vienna, and Quilt Song, first performed in Birmingham in 2018. Her orchestral catalogue includes four symphonies, two of which have been recorded by the Moravian Philharmonic Orchestra. Her music has been commissioned by organisations including the Arts Council England, Birmingham Opera Company, Birmingham Contemporary Music Group and the Spitalfields Festival, and is published by Composers Edition. 

Alongside her composing, Dr Self teaches at Junior Guildhall and has conducted numerous operatic productions. As a performer, she appeared with leading opera companies across Europe, including the Royal Opera House, Glyndebourne, Opera North and the Vlaamse Opera, singing a wide repertoire from Mozart and Britten to Philip Glass and contemporary works. Today, she continues to combine composition, conducting and education while championing new music and opera.

Key points of the episode:

• Her life, composing and life in a man's world.
• Is her world as glamourous as it looks?
• How she was originally advised to be an opera singer and why.
• How employment differs in the UK and Europe and the best way to succeed.
• What she was like as a little 3 year old girl
• How women composers were discouraged.
• The flow state of composing.
• The therapy she went through - Jungian style.
• The delicious response her therapist had to her doubts.
• Her amazing relationship with her "perfect match" partner
• How composers earn money (at the top)
• ....and not.
• Conducter - or poet?
• How she makes a living- the same as the greats..
• Her sense of and interest in spirituality, but not religion as such.
• How brave you have to be- self daring
• What she would say to her 3 year old self.

See her on her publishers websites

Composers Edition << UK

Universal Edition << Vienna

Substack

Next Performances - (Facebook)

You Tube

Soundcloud (ad free)

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

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Kathryn Flett is one of Britain's best known journalists, critics and memoirists. 

In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Kathryn discusses the unimaginable loss of her son Jackson and the long, complex journey through grief that followed. With extraordinary openness, she explores the many different shades of grief experienced by everyone involved, why she initially believed the police officer at her door was "talking nonsense", and why real life bore little resemblance to television, right down to there being just one police officer delivering the devastating news.

She speaks candidly about the level of demonstrative love she found herself needing, the well-meaning but often "wrong" ways people responded, and the painful "reconfiguration of the address book" as friendships and relationships changed forever.

She also recounts the emotional impact of the inquest, the unexpected shock that followed, and the slow, tentative process of re-entering the world through what she describes as "baby steps". It is an honest, compassionate and ultimately hopeful conversation about surviving the unsurvivable, finding a way forward, and learning to live alongside grief rather than trying to outrun it.

Kathryn reflects on the role of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy in helping her process trauma, why she came to see blame as an unhelpful emotion, and the complicated aftermath that follows a sudden loss. 

A former editor of Arena magazine and a long-time columnist for The Observer, The Guardian and other national publications, she has built a reputation for combining razor-sharp wit with remarkable emotional honesty. She is currently a Daily Mail's TV critic.

Key points of the episode:

• The tragic story of how she lost her son.
• The different shades of grief experienced by all concerned.
• Why, when the police came, she did not immediately realise the seriousness of the situation.
• How she felt the policeman was "talking nonsense"
• Her treatment of EMDR- "Eye Movement Desensitiving (and) Reprocessing. 
• Why there was only one police officer at the door (unlike on TV)
• Why blame she felt was an unhelpful emotion.
• The complicated aftermath.
• The level of demonstrative love that she needed.
• The "Wrong" ways people responded.
• The "reconfiguration of the address book."
• The inquest. And then the next shock.
• The re-entering the world. Baby Steps 

Check out her TV in the Daily Mail or ...

kathrynflett.substack.com

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan Mail

Dr Stella Duffy OBE is an existential psychotherapist, award-winning writer, speaker and theatremaker with a career spanning therapy, literature and the arts. Alongside her private practice, she has worked in NHS cancer support, hospice bereavement services and community mental health, helping people navigate life's biggest challenges with warmth, honesty and compassion. 

Awarded an OBE for Services to the Arts, Stella is also the author of 17 novels, more than 70 short stories and numerous plays. Her doctorate in Existential Psychotherapy focused on the embodied experience of post-menopause, reflecting her passion for exploring what it means to live a rich, authentic and meaningful life. 

Expect an engaging, thought-provoking evening as Stella shares insights into the human condition, resilience, creativity, and how we can all make better sense of ourselves and the lives we lead.

Key Points of the Episode:

• How she was the first person in her family to finish secondary school!
• Existential therapy- she practises it- what is it?
• How she has been in therapy herself 3 times in her life.
• Her experience with cancer.
• Her first experience of existential therapy and how she encountered it.
• Her experience of the self help movement.
• Her current practise (hint - slowwwwww down!)
• Why she is such a "doer"
• Her thoughts on education and its privilege.
• Her thoughts and statistics on menopause and the importance of supporting women. (an old school view but still very relevant)
•  The problem with current cultural attitudes
• What was really happening during the hunter/gathering period.
• Her new book.
• Sexuality and the freedom after menopause.
• The benefits of an existential outlook on life.
• A motivational message.

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan Mail

Luke Jennings is the bestselling author and journalist whose self-published Villanelle novellas became the global phenomenon Killing Eve.

Originally released as a series of Kindle Singles, Jennings' stories introduced readers to the brilliant and terrifying assassin Villanelle and the intelligence officer obsessed with tracking her down, Eve Polastri. The books quickly attracted attention and were adapted for television by acclaimed writer and creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge. What followed was one of the most successful British television dramas of recent years.

Starring Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh, Killing Eve became a worldwide hit, winning major awards and earning a devoted international following. Jennings has described the experience of watching his creation evolve from a self-published passion project into a cultural phenomenon as both surreal and deeply rewarding.

His latest book is Killing Eve: Medusa available now - yes Oksana and Eve live on....

Long before Villanelle arrived on our screens, Luke had established himself as one of Britain's most respected journalists and critics. He wrote for The Observer, Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, developing a reputation for sharp observation, stylish prose and a fascination with extraordinary people and hidden worlds.

His novels include the Booker Prize-nominated Atlantic, as well as a wide range of fiction and non-fiction exploring subjects as varied as espionage, performance, identity, adventure and human obsession. Alongside his writing, he has also been recognised as one of Britain's leading dance critics - having trained as a ballet dancer - bringing the same insight and storytelling ability to the arts as he does to fiction.

Today, Luke continues to write, with the world of Villanelle still evolving on the page long after the television series ended. His work combines literary craftsmanship with page-turning storytelling, creating characters who are intelligent, flawed, dangerous and unforgettable.

From self-publishing a series of short novellas to inspiring one of the most talked-about television dramas of the 21st century, Luke Jennings' career is a reminder that sometimes the biggest stories begin in the most unexpected places.

Key Points of the Episode:

• Why he self published his new book and how it was noticed by the right person and became a global phenomenon.
• The tricky, clunky part of publishing and how the market is different
• Some of the characters in the book (and who they are a bit like in the real world!)
• The exciting plotliines discussed.
• The momentum of his success!
• The best way to do business meetings!
• Where to find the book.

His books are available on Boldwood Books and Amazon

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan Mail

Sandra Parsons is a British journalist, editor, author, and qualified yoga instructor best known for her wellness and longevity work, including the book Age Less and the “Ageless Method.” Formerly an editor at The Times, Sandra combines personal experience with modern health science to explore ageing, wellbeing, and lifestyle transformation. After overcoming serious health challenges, she developed a practical approach focused on nutrition, movement, rest, and mindset, aiming to help people improve both vitality and longevity. 

• Her incredible biological age
• What finally pushed her to change
• The research she has studied
• The incredible results of it.
• Why smoking is still seen as "cool"
• How she began to look and feel so much better.
• Why she (for good reasons) felt she had to carry on working despite not feeling good.
• The amazing - and most importantly doable discoveries from leading edge science.
• Seriously... easy and doable!
• The amazing benefits of fibre, and how it can help us.
• Where to find fibre easily.
• (Would you believe fibre is in raspberries?)
• Small changes is the key....
• ....and what they lead to.

You can find Sandra on Insta

Or.. Grab the book!

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan Mail

On this episode, writer and human rights campaigner Sophie Radice talks about many issues that need a deeper conversation; xenophobia, travel vs escape, identity and how she ended up on court after working in the Jungle in Calais.

Her latest novel, The Year of Bad Maps, is a deeply personal and politically resonant story inspired by her solo travels across ten countries and her experiences surrounding the Calais refugee camps, being arrested and put on trial. Blending wit, travel writing and contemporary politics, the novel explores themes of migration, motherhood, friendship, ageism and xenophobia, while asking challenging questions about why movement is romanticised for tourists but criminalised for refugees. The book has been praised for tackling difficult political themes with warmth, humour and humanity rather than polemic.

She is a British journalist, novelist and human rights campaigner whose work spans literature, politics, journalism and social justice. Over the course of a varied career, she has written for major publications including The Guardian, The Observer, The Independent, Vogue and The Sunday Times, developing a reputation for intelligent, compassionate writing that often explores identity, inequality and the human stories behind political issues. 

Alongside her journalism, Radice has spent more than two decades working in communications and campaigning roles for organisations focused on refugee rights, women’s rights and humanitarian issues. She has worked on campaigns involving immigration detention, wrongful convictions and violence against women, and has collaborated with NGOs both in the UK and internationally, including projects in Sierra Leone. She currently works with the United Nations Association UK as Head of Campaigns. 

Radice is also an accomplished novelist. Her debut novel, The Henry Experiment, received critical praise for its sharp psychological insight and was later adapted into a BBC drama. Her writing is known for combining humour, emotional intelligence and social commentary, often examining the tensions between personal freedom, morality and modern society. 

Key points of the interview:

• How she wrote her book about her year off from the point of view of her guides.
• How her adventure was incredible....
• .....but ended up facing a 5 year prison sentence.
• The easy emotional bonds she forms with people.
• Reminiscing on some amazing memories.
• Dealing with peoples distress who are escaping bad situations elsewhere in the world, and being treated badly here.
• The questionable meetings she had in Goa, and how she was advised not to travel alone.
• How freeing it was travelling alone.
• How the wanderlust did not satisfy her.
• What she learned about herself.
• The place she visited that was the most challenging and why.
• Many profound moments.
• The court case and what she was arrested for.
• The court case outcome

Get the book here "The Year of Bad Maps"

Support the show

Has this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?

You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....

On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/