How to Rewire Your Brain for Secure Love (Instead of the Highs & Lows of Toxic Relationships)

Why does secure love feel boring after toxic relationships? How do you know if your gut feeling is real or just an old trauma response? In this episode, I sit down with somatic healing coach and toxic love recovery expert Emily Colligan to break down the nervous system shifts needed to stop chasing unavailable partners and start feeling safe in healthy love.

We explore:

✨ Recognizing Toxic Patterns & Self-Sabotage

• Can you share a moment when you realized your nervous system was wired for unsafe love?

• What patterns kept showing up for you?

• How do you differentiate between a gut feeling and an old trauma response in dating?

• What are the biggest nervous system shifts that help someone stop chasing unavailable people?

• What are some sneaky ways people self-sabotage when they finally meet someone secure?

• If someone feels hopeless about ever breaking their toxic relationship patterns, what would you say to them?

• What’s the most powerful shift you’ve seen in yourself (or clients) from doing this work?

• What are the signs that someone’s nervous system is still wired for unhealthy love and toxic relationships?

• Why do so many people feel bored in secure, healthy relationships after experiencing toxic dynamics?

• What’s a relationship moment that triggered your deepest wounds—and how did you work through it somatically?

💭 Understanding How Your Nervous System Wires You for Love

• What’s something you used to believe about love that now makes you cringe?

• How does our nervous system learn to associate love with emotional unavailability, neglect, or stress?

• Can you share a story of a client (or yourself) who kept chasing unavailable love—until they rewired their nervous system? What changed for them?

💡 The Path to Secure Love

• What’s the difference between true safety in love vs. feeling ‘addicted’ to a toxic dynamic?

If you’ve ever felt stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns, this episode is for you. Healing is possible—tune in now! 🎧💛

Connect with Emily On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilycolligantherapy/

Join Emily's Masterclass here: https://stan.store/emilycolligantherapy/p/rewireforhealthylove

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/