Have you ever felt like you’re always on guard in relationships — scanning every tone shift, bracing for abandonment, or waiting for the other shoe to drop? That’s hypervigilance: the body’s survival response that makes love feel unsafe, even when nothing is wrong.

In this episode, I’m joined by Kieran Pollitt, Transformational Alchemist, for a deep conversation on what hypervigilance really feels like in the body and how to begin rewiring your nervous system so safety, not danger, becomes your baseline.

Together, we explore:
✨ The lived experience of hypervigilance — why your body feels like it’s “buzzing” with threat
✨ How childhood survival strategies (like monitoring every mood shift) follow us into adult love
✨ The hidden ways hypervigilance seeps into work, friendships, and even being alone
✨ Practices that help the nervous system learn to rest, regulate, and receive love
✨ What a supportive partner can actually do (and what to avoid)
✨ The most important truth to hold onto if you’ve ever felt “too much” because of your hypervigilance

If you’ve struggled with anxious attachment, panic when a partner pulls away, or exhaustion from always being “on,” this episode will remind you: hypervigilance is not who you are — it’s what happened to your nervous system. And healing is possible. 🕊️

Connect with Kieran here: https://www.instagram.com/kieranpollitt_/

Connect with Valerie here: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Do you ever catch yourself asking, “Are we okay?”—not once, but over and over—even when nothing is actually wrong? Maybe you’ve gotten reassurance, only to feel that anxious knot creep back hours later. If so, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

In this episode, I sit down with Thais Sky to unpack the cycle of reassurance-seeking in anxious attachment and the worthiness wound that hides underneath it. Together, we explore why external reassurance never seems to stick, how your nervous system learned to scan for signs of love and safety, and what it actually takes to feel secure without constant confirmation.

We dive into:
👉 Why anxious attachment makes “Are we okay?” feel so urgent
👉 The link between reassurance-seeking and the fear of being too much or not enough
👉 Why reassurance brings temporary relief but not lasting safety
👉 How the nervous system fuels this endless scanning for love
👉 Practical tools to build self-reassurance that feels just as calming as external reassurance

If you’ve ever felt like you’ll always need reassurance to feel loved, this episode will give you both compassion and hope—and maybe even the permission to believe you’re already enough.

Connect with Thais on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamthaissky/

Connect with Val on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

The High Cost of Pretending You’re Fine (and How to Live Authentically Without Fear)

We’ve all done it—looked someone straight in the eye and said, “I’m fine” when we’re anything but. For many of us, especially if we’re anxiously attached, that mask becomes a survival strategy. We learn to perform, to be agreeable, to read the room before we speak—because deep down, we’re terrified that if people saw the unfiltered version of us, they’d pull away. But over time, that performance drains our energy, spikes our anxiety, and keeps us from being truly loved for who we are.

In this episode, I’m joined by Optimal Living Coach Shannon Wooten, creator of The Braid Framework—a powerful approach to living from rhythm, not rigidity. Shannon’s framework is built on 5 root elements: Presence, Values, Emotional Regulation, Perspective, and Romance. Together, we dive into why authenticity can feel so threatening when you have a fear of abandonment, the subtle ways self-abandonment shows up in daily life, and how to start reclaiming the parts of yourself you’ve hidden to keep the peace.

We talk about:

• Why pretending you’re fine feels safer—but secretly keeps you lonely.

• How to recognize the invisible cost of molding yourself to be “acceptable.”

• The nervous system shifts that make fearless authenticity possible.

• How to live from your own rhythm, even when life gets messy.

• Small, doable steps to stop performing and start living in alignment with your truth.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself just to keep someone else, this conversation will give you the courage—and the tools—to drop the mask, root into what’s real, and come home to yourself.

Connect with Shannon here:

Her instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannonwooten/

Her website: https://www.lifewithshannon.com/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAafjbBnwsb05EN6ProkqcKA1AbPNG9MYKHt4lmZTOMM2u-g7njpO2XLD8XYCzw_aem_0_HDSS4xWWM1Irsta7wlIA

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Why You Stay in Almost Relationships That Leave You Starving (with Kendall Brown)

Why does it feel safer to chase someone who won’t fully choose you… than to receive the real thing?

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Women’s Trauma & Relationship Coach Kendall Brown to explore the painful cycle of situationships, breadcrumbs, and “almost” love—and why so many women with anxious attachment stay stuck in it.

We dive into the deep emotional roots of why being “almost chosen” feels addicting, how trauma and emotional neglect shape what we accept, and why being under-loved can feel familiar—but also fucking exhausting.

Kendall shares a raw story from her own journey of waking up from the cycle of crumbs, and together we unpack the nervous system imprint that keeps so many women tolerating love that’s inconsistent, confusing, and half-hearted.

You’ll learn:

• The red flags of breadcrumbing you might be overlooking

• Why “he’s not that bad” is a trauma response in disguise

• How to rewire your nervous system to stop craving chaos and start craving connection

• And the first steps to breaking free from the illusion of “almost” love

If you’ve ever felt like you were starving in a relationship that almost gave you what you needed—but never truly did—this episode is your permission slip to walk away and remember what you’re worthy of.

You were never meant to settle for crumbs. You were meant for the whole damn meal. 🍽️💔

Connect with Kendall on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendallbrowncoaching/

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Why is letting go so hard—especially for people like us? In this episode, we dive deep into why we cling, control, and grip so tightly in relationships, work, and even our sense of self-worth. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same patterns, even in totally different seasons of life, there’s a reason—and it’s not because you’re broken.

Your nervous system craves familiarity like oxygen. Even if the pattern hurts, it feels safer than the unknown. Uncertainty registers as danger for the brain and body, so when life feels unpredictable, your system pulls you back to old coping strategies for a false sense of control.

We’ll unpack:

• Why letting go triggers so much fear and resistance

• The hidden emotions under the surface—grief, anger, shame—that make surrender feel impossible

• A viral reel that left me triggered (and what it taught me from a trauma-informed perspective)

• The deeper fears gripping protects—abandonment, rejection, failure

• 3 trauma-informed tools to feel safe while letting go

• How somatic work helps your body trust uncertainty instead of panicking

If you’ve ever tried to surrender and felt like your whole body said “NO,” this episode will help you understand why and show you how to take small, safe steps toward trust.

Ready to stop gripping and start trusting? Hit play.

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Money isn’t just numbers in your bank account—it’s a mirror reflecting your deepest beliefs, fears, and unresolved wounds. In this powerful episode of The Anxiety Recovery Podcast, I sit down with finance coach Mark Harrison to uncover why money creates so much stress and shame—even for people who seem “okay” on paper.

We explore how childhood experiences and family dynamics silently shape your relationship with money, why scarcity thinking feels so hard to shake, and the myths that keep you stuck in anxiety and self-sabotage. Mark shares his own journey of confronting money trauma, plus the turning point that inspired him to help others break free.

You’ll learn:

• How money anxiety shows up in everyday life (often in sneaky ways)

• What it really means to be “good with money”

• The patterns that keep people feeling unsafe financially

• How money stress bleeds into relationships, health, and self-worth

• Small, actionable steps you can take today to start feeling more empowered around money

If you’ve ever felt trapped in shame, fear, or scarcity thinking about your finances, this conversation will give you hope, insight, and tools to begin healing.

Connect with Mark on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourmoneymark/

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Have you ever wondered why, no matter how many hours you spend in therapy or how much you understand your anxiety, your body still feels like it’s stuck in survival mode?

You’re not alone.

For so many of us, anxiety isn’t just a mindset issue—it’s a nervous system issue. It lives in your chest, in your stomach, in that constant sense of dread you can’t shake. And no amount of talking about it seems to make it go away.

In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by Stevie Wright, a breathwork facilitator, somatic healer, and plant medicine advocate, to explore the missing piece to overcoming anxiety and finally feeling safe in love + life.

Together, we dive deep into:
🌿 Why talk therapy can’t always reach the trauma stored in your body—and what to do instead
🌿 The hidden ways unprocessed emotions shape your money, business, relationships, and sense of self-worth
🌿 What happens when you finally give yourself permission to heal through somatic practices
🌿 The transformative role of plant medicine—and how to know if it’s right for you
🌿 Simple, accessible ways to start connecting to your body and calming your nervous system today

Stevie shares her own vulnerable story of what her life looked like before somatic work—being the “overachiever” trying to prove her worth, always living in her head, disconnected from her body, not feeling confident, struggling with comparison and jealousy toward other women, and finding it hard to be truly vulnerable with the people closest to her.

Whether you’re curious about breathwork, feeling called to plant medicine, or just tired of feeling like your anxiety is unfixable, this episode will remind you that healing is possible.

✨ You don’t have to live in a constant state of fight or flight.
✨ You don’t have to keep telling your story over and over, hoping this time it will finally make the pain go away.
✨ You deserve to feel safe in your body—and in your life.

If you’ve tried everything and still feel stuck, this conversation is the invitation you’ve been waiting for.

🎧 Tune in now and discover what’s possible when you stop trying to think your way out—and finally let your body lead the way.

Connect with Stevie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stevielwright_/

Join Stevie's Breath Channel here: https://www.stevie-wright.com/the-breath-channel

Join Stevie's Retreat: https://www.stevie-wright.com/radiance

Join Stevie's Microdosing Program: https://www.stevie-wright.com/bloom

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Why does it feel like love is always just out of reach? In this episode, I’m joined by somatic relationship coach Lindsey Lockett to dive deep into one of the most magnetic—and most painful—relationship dynamics: the anxious-avoidant loop. Together, we explore the real emotions behind “loving too hard” and the heartbreaking moments when the person you love starts to pull away.

We unpack powerful questions, like:
💔 How can someone tell they’re in an anxious-avoidant loop vs. just in a relationship with different needs?
💔 What did it feel like in your body when you were caught in that push-pull cycle—and what shifted in your healing journey?
💔 Was there ever a moment you realized that healing didn’t just mean getting the other person to show up—but actually learning to show up for yourself?
💔 What are some of the most heartbreaking beliefs that keep avoidant partners from fully receiving love?
💔 What’s going on beneath the surface for the avoidant partner when they’re pulling away?
💔 What does it look like to stop blaming the other person and start tending to your own emotional landscape?
💔 What boundaries or practices help break the anxious-avoidant loop without shaming either partner?
💔 Can this dynamic actually become healthy—or is it always a sign that something’s unworkable?
💔 What would you say to the person listening who feels stuck in the pain of this pattern but still deeply loves their partner?

In a vulnerable twist, Lindsey coaches me in real time through a personal dynamic that mirrors the anxious-avoidant cycle—and what unfolds is raw, healing, and deeply validating for anyone who's ever felt caught in love that feels both consuming and confusing.

If you’ve ever felt like you love too much or need too much—or if you’ve been the one to pull away when it gets too close—this episode is for you.

Connect with Lindsey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamlindseylockett/

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Today’s episode is one of the most tender, honest, and emotionally raw conversations I’ve ever shared on the podcast.

I sat down with Acceptance coach & grief guide Chris Mamone to explore the kind of grief that doesn’t always have a funeral. The kind that creeps into your everyday life — when someone you loved deeply is no longer there, when you don’t get closure, when you find yourself in the rubble of conflict, wondering who you are now.

This conversation is deeply personal. I opened up about my own grief journey — the ache that’s been living in my chest, the relationship limbo I’ve been navigating, and the pain of grief. And in real time, Chris gently coached me through it. His presence is like an exhale; steady, grounded, and full of compassion. He doesn’t rush grief. He honors it. And he helps us find the path forward without bypassing the pain.

Inside this episode, we explore:
💔 The often invisible grief that comes with love lost, identity shifts, and relationships without closure
🌀 How conflict in relationships can re-activate old wounds — and how to respond with tenderness rather than shame
💬 What it means to sit with your grief instead of trying to fix or force your way out of it
🕊️ The journey of coming home to yourself — to unconditional self-acceptance — even when everything feels uncertain

Whether you're grieving someone, missing a version of yourself, or carrying the kind of ache no one else can see — this episode is for you. You don’t have to go through it alone. Let this conversation be a space to feel, soften, and begin to rebuild.

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healwithval/

Check out Chris's Website: www.empoweredgriefjourney.com

Check out Chris's Podcast: https://empoweredgriefjourney.podbean.com/

Connect with Chris on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thechrismamone

Connect with Chris on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/empoweredgriefjourney/

Check out Chris on Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@empoweredgriefjourney

Have you ever been told you're too sensitive, too emotional, or just too much? Or maybe you’ve silenced your needs in love, hoping to be more palatable, more agreeable—more "enough."

In this empowering episode of The Anxiety Recovery Podcast, I’m joined by Amy Young, a mentor and guide for women in the midst of awakening and initiation, for a deep dive into the fear of being “too much” in relationships.

We explore:

• The origin of the “too much” wound and how it shapes our love lives

• What it really means to shrink yourself to be accepted

• The emotional cost of hiding your truth and needs

• How people-pleasing can lead to resentment, burnout, and numbness

• What we lose when we choose acceptance over authenticity

• The power of nervous system regulation and embodiment in reclaiming your fullness

• What unapologetic, fully expressed love can look and feel like

This episode is for the woman who’s tired of abandoning herself to keep the peace—and ready to create love that honors who she really is.

Connect with Amy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyyoungco

Check out Amy's website here: https://amyyoungcoaching.com/

Connect with Valerie on Instagram: https://amyyoungcoaching.com/