One of the most common questions after a breakup is: Will my ex change come back?

In this episode, I unpack why that question keeps you stuck — and what actually needs to happen if there's ever going to be a different outcome, whether that's with your ex or someone new.

I talk about:

• Why hoping your ex will "realise they made a mistake" often keeps you emotionally trapped
• The difference between breakups that involve impulsivity and those where someone has already emotionally checked out
• Why getting back together sometimes works — and why it usually doesn't
• What really has to change for a relationship to work the second time around

I also share my personal story — how my husband and I first met, why we broke up, what that breakup forced me to confront in myself, and why things were different when we came back together.

We explore:

• How unprocessed emotional pain shows up as triggers, reactivity, and confusion in relationships
• Why saying "things will be different" is just lip service without real internal change
• The difference between genuine growth and performative change meant to win someone back
• Why becoming more emotionally stable, independent, and grounded is actually more attractive — not less

This episode isn't about convincing your ex to come back. It's about becoming someone who no longer needs to.

Because real change doesn't get wasted. It either creates the possibility of a healthier relationship with your ex — or it prepares you for a healthier relationship with someone else.

Either way, you win.

Register for the How to Move on from Heartbreak Masterclass here 11th Feb 2026 7pm

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

After a breakup, it's common to hear advice telling you to "reconnect with yourself" and "build your self-worth." But knowing what to do and knowing how to do it — or whether it's actually helping — are very different things.

In this episode, I explore why so many people feel stuck after a breakup, even when they're doing everything they're told should help. We look at what happens when self-worth has historically come from external validation, why breakups can feel like a loss of identity, and how the nervous system seeks reassurance when emotional safety is suddenly removed.

I talk about why healing doesn't always feel better straight away, how to recognise whether your efforts are genuinely supporting you, and how to tell the difference between discomfort that's part of growth and patterns that may be keeping you stuck. This episode also explores how self-worth is rebuilt through self-trust, emotional self-containment, and learning to stay with yourself during difficult emotions — rather than outsourcing them.

This conversation is for anyone who feels lost after a breakup, questions whether they're healing "correctly," or wants a deeper understanding of what rebuilding self-worth actually looks like in real life.

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Work with Sylvia and Book a 10x session package: https://sylviasuwan.com

Starting over can feel like failure — especially after a breakup, divorce, or major life change. We tell ourselves we've wasted time, that we're behind, or that we should have tried harder to make it work.

In this episode, I'm reframing the idea of starting over and exploring why it feels so heavy — and how it can actually become one of the most liberating and clarifying seasons of your life.

We talk about the sunk cost fallacy, why staying just because you've already invested so much keeps people stuck, and how the meaning you attach to "starting again" shapes your future far more than the circumstance itself.

This episode is for anyone who feels ashamed about having to begin again, feels rushed by comparison, or is struggling to let go of a past they thought would last forever.

• Why starting over feels like failure — and why it isn't

• How the sunk cost fallacy keeps people stuck in relationships that no longer serve them

• The difference between learning from the past and ruminating on it

• How lessons can turn into wisdom — or emotional weight

• Why the belief that you're "behind" creates panic and poor decisions

• Letting go of timelines, comparison, and external pressure

• How starting over can actually be a sign of self-trust and alignment

• Practical ways to approach a new chapter without rushing or settling

Starting over doesn't mean you failed. It means you're listening. It means you're integrating what you've learned instead of repeating it. And it means you're choosing to move forward with more awareness, clarity, and self-respect than before.

If you're in a season of rebuilding — after a breakup, divorce, or identity shift — this episode will help you reframe where you are and reconnect with the power of the present moment.

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

After a breakup, everyone tells you to "find yourself" — but what does that actually mean? And more importantly, is it even the right question to ask?

In this episode, I'm breaking down why the whole concept of "finding yourself" after a relationship ends might be setting you up for frustration, and what you should focus on instead.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why "finding yourself" is the wrong framework (and what to ask instead)
• The neuroscience of heartbreak — why breakups feel like physical pain and why separation is so difficult
• How relationships create neural coupling and nervous system co-regulation (and what happens when that suddenly stops)
• The difference between losing yourself and becoming enmeshed — and why women are particularly vulnerable to this pattern
• Why the standard advice (yoga, journaling, solo travel) often becomes performative rather than transformative
• Values archaeology: Whose values have you actually been living? How to trace back what's truly yours vs what you inherited
• Desire mapping: How to relearn what you actually want when you've spent years accommodating others
• Boundary experimentation: Small steps to reclaim your space without isolating yourself
• Integration work: What becomes possible now that wasn't before? How to take everything you've learned and consciously choose what to keep
• The Emily in Paris example: How exposure to new experiences reveals parts of yourself that were always there but never had room to exist

Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

If you are ready to work with Sylvia book a 10 session package: https://www.sylviasuwan.com/work-with-me

Starting the new year without your ex? Feeling that mix of hope and loneliness as you try to move forward? In this episode, I'm giving you the exact framework I wish I had during my first New Year after a breakup.

This isn't about setting vague intentions that fizzle out by February. This is about creating real, sustainable change in your life using a proven 9-step goal attainment framework designed specifically for breakup recovery.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

The 9 Steps to Transform Your Life After a Breakup:

1. Get Crystal Clear on What You Actually Want - Move beyond "I want to be happy" and define what your life actually looks like when you've moved forward
2. Identify Your Deep Why - Discover the real reason this goal matters to you (not just surface-level motivation)
3. Make a Concrete Plan - Break down your goal into specific, actionable behaviors you can schedule and commit to
4. Celebrate Small Wins and Build Belief - Learn why daily wins are more powerful than waiting for big transformations
5. Track and Monitor Your Progress - Use the "engine momentum" approach to keep yourself moving forward
6. Manage Your Emotions - Regulate your feelings so they don't derail your progress (emotions are signals, not signs to quit)
7. Stay Flexible and Keep Learning - Adapt your plan as you discover more about what you want and need
8. Surround Yourself with Mentorship - Choose your environment wisely and consume content from people who have the results you want
9. Align Your Environment - Set up your space and routines to support your goals, not sabotage them

Key Takeaway: You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to take the next step, and then the next one. That's how you build momentum. That's how you transform this heartbreak into your breakthrough.

Resources Mentioned:

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

Action Step: Pick ONE goal this week. Get specific, write down your why, identify three actionable steps, schedule them in your calendar, and track your small wins daily.

Connect with Sylvia: Instagram: @sylviasuwan

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

In this deeply personal episode, I'm sharing the most important lessons and reflections from my own growth journey this year. This isn't me speaking from my therapist lens—it's me as a human navigating the messy, uncomfortable, necessary work of growth.

Learning to Be Okay with the Hard Why resistance makes everything worse, and how accepting discomfort changes everything

Growth Requires Increasing Your Capacity Why you can't have different results without becoming a different version of yourself

Taking Responsibility for Your Own Happiness How I stopped making my husband responsible for my emotional wellbeing (and why that actually improved our marriage)

What Destroys Relationships—With or Without Kids The surprising truth about what makes or breaks relationships, regardless of your circumstances

When You're in Growth Periods, Life is Mostly Miserable Why discomfort isn't a sign you're doing it wrong—it's a sign you're doing it right

Essentialism and Prioritising Your Values How to stop saying yes to everything and start protecting what actually matters

Don't Forget the Basics Why sleep, nutrition, and movement matter more than any productivity hack

Why Simple is Best How we overcomplicate everything to avoid doing the simple (but hard) work

Life is Too Short to Care What Other People Think Getting clear on your values and living by your own compass, not someone else's script

It's Not Happiness We Should Chase—It's Peace and Contentment Why chasing happiness keeps you miserable, and what to cultivate instead

🎯 Ready to make 2026 YOUR breakthrough year?

Join my FREE Masterclass: "Let Go of Your Ex and Move On" Register now to watch live or get the replay

Can't make it live? No worries—register anyway and I'll send you the replay

📲 Connect with me: Instagram: @sylviasuwan (DM me for the masterclass link!)

Quick bonus episode with an important announcement! I have a free live masterclass happening next week that I created specifically to help you kickstart your new year and finally move on from your ex.

Live Masterclass Details:

When: Monday, December 29th at 6pm AEST Where: Register at sylviasuwan.com or check the link in show notes Cost: FREE Replay: Available for all registrants (perfect if you can't make it live due to time zones)

What This Masterclass Will Cover:

• Why you feel like your feelings are outside of your control and how that keeps you paralyzed
• Why it's not your fault (and nothing to be ashamed of) that you still want to be with your ex
• The real reason most people resist moving forward and what they make "letting go" mean
• Why some people seem to "handle" breakups better and move on faster (spoiler: nothing is wrong with you)
• What actually works to get you out of hopelessness and failure—and what doesn't
• The tangible things you need to do right now to get on with your life

Who This Is For:

This masterclass is for you if you've tried everything you're told you should do but still want to be with your ex or don't know how to be without them. It's for the person who is truly suffering and struggling to understand why.

Why This Is Different:

I've seen what works and what doesn't work in breakup recovery. This masterclass addresses exactly why healing works for some people and not others—and I'm sharing strategies you won't have heard before.

Register Now

Visit sylviasuwan.com or click the link above. Even if you can't make it live, register to get access to the replay.

The holidays can be brutal when you're still healing from a breakup. Everyone else seems to be celebrating with their loved ones while you're on the outside looking in. This episode isn't about making you feel better with platitudes—it's about empowering you to take control of your story.

In this episode, I'm getting real about why sitting in hopelessness keeps you stuck, and what you can do right now to start building the life you actually want. Because the truth is, no one is coming to save you. But the good news? You have everything you need to save yourself.

What You'll Learn:

• Why this difficult moment is temporary (even when it doesn't feel like it)
• How to shift from "there's nothing left for me" to "what can I create?"
• The question that will help you make this hard time count for something
• Why progress—not distraction—is what actually brings you up
• What makes someone attractive to be around (and whether you'd want to spend time with yourself right now)
• The biggest mistake people make about relationships that keeps them isolated
• How to stop waiting for someone else to make you feel better

The Hard Truth:

Relationships aren't about finding someone to fill the void. They're about what you contribute. If you're sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, you're not going to attract a great partner—you're going to attract someone just like you. And that's not who you want to be around.

Your Next Step:

Pick one thing you're going to do today to move yourself forward. Start building the life you want instead of waiting for someone else to create it for you. The life you want is on the other side of the action you take today.

Work With Me:

Book a free consultation https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

You did it. You made it through 28 days of choosing yourself when it felt impossible. Now what?

In this FINAL episode of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're talking about what happens next. The challenge might be ending, but your journey is just beginning. This episode covers how to move forward with intention, stay connected to yourself, trust your judgment again, and build a next chapter you're genuinely excited about - plus two special bonuses to support your continued transformation.

What You'll Learn:

• Why completing 28 days is the foundation, not the finish line
• How to avoid slipping back into old patterns after the challenge ends
• The commitment that keeps you connected to yourself when life gets busy again
• How to rebuild trust in yourself and your judgment
• What to do if your ex reaches out now (and how to know if you're ready)
• How to build a life that feels great with or without a relationship
• The difference between filling a void vs. adding to something that already exists
• Why you need to keep doing the work even when you feel better

Key Topics Covered:

• Moving forward with intention vs. sliding back into old habits
• Maintaining connection with yourself when you have other options
• The non-negotiables that keep you grounded no matter what
• Trusting yourself doesn't mean never making mistakes
• Building trust through keeping commitments to yourself
• How to know if you're ready to respond if your ex reaches out
• Creating a life that a relationship enhances, not defines
• Using momentum from the challenge to create lasting change
• The power of visualising your future self

This Episode Is For You If:

You've completed (or nearly completed) the 28-day challenge, you're wondering what happens next, you're afraid of slipping back into old patterns, you want to know how to maintain your progress, you're ready to build something you're actually excited about, or you need guidance on what to do if your ex reaches out now.

The Truth About What Happens After Day 28:

Completing 28 days of no contact is an achievement, but it's not the finish line - it's the foundation.

What often happens: People complete the challenge → feel better → slowly slip back into old patterns → start checking social media again → respond when ex reaches out → stop doing helpful routines → end up back where they started

What should happen: Moving forward with intention - making conscious choices about what to keep doing, continuing practices that helped you heal, staying vigilant about patterns and triggers.

Staying Connected to Yourself:

The biggest shift during this challenge is reconnecting with yourself - remembering who you are outside the relationship and building a life that feels like yours.

The challenge now? Maintaining that connection when:

• Life gets busy
• Things feel good again
• The pain isn't as sharp anymore
• Someone new shows interest
• You have other options

Solution: Create non-negotiables that keep you connected to who you are, no matter what happens in your life.

Trusting Yourself Again:

Breakups make you doubt your judgment, intuition, and decision-making. You think: "I chose this person, I stayed - clearly I can't trust myself."

But here's the truth: You CAN trust yourself. Every day you chose not to reach out during this challenge, you were building trust with yourself.

Trusting yourself means:

• You know that even when things don't work out, you'll be okay
• You'll handle it, learn from it, and keep going
• You honour your boundaries and commitments to yourself

What If Your Ex Reaches Out Now?

Should you respond? It depends on:

• Why they're reaching out
• What you actually want
• Whether you've genuinely healed or still hope for reconciliation

You're probably NOT ready if:

• You immediately feel that pull, excitement, or hope
• Your first thought is "maybe this means they've changed"
• You're thinking "maybe we can work it out now"

You might be ready if:

• Your first thought is "I need to think about whether I even want to engage with this"
• You have distance and perspective
• You're clear about what you're hoping to get from the interaction

Building Your Next Chapter:

This challenge was about getting over your ex. Now it's about creating a life you're genuinely excited about.

Questions to ask yourself:

• What have I discovered about myself during this challenge?
• What do I want to keep building?
• What kind of life do I want to create?

The goal: Build a life that feels great with or without a relationship. When someone does come along, they're adding to something that already exists - not completing something that feels incomplete. Choose from abundance, not scarcity.

Key Quote:

"Your breakup doesn't define you, but how you respond to it does. You can let it break you, or you can let it build you. You can stay stuck in what was, or you can start creating what's next."

🎁 FREE BONUS: Guided Visualisation Audio

Connect to your future self - the version of you who's already living the life you want, who's healed, confident, and built something incredible.

This visualization helps your brain create a blueprint for where you're going, making your future feel real and tangible, not just a distant hope.

Get it free:

• https://www.sylviasuwan.com/freeresources
• DM "perfectday" @sylviasuwan on Instagram

Use this regularly - it's one of the most powerful tools for rebuilding your life.

Ready to Go Deeper? Book your Breakthrough session now: https://sylviasuwan.com/breakthrough

What's Possible:

"What if it were possible for me to have an even better life than I had with my ex? What if I could be the creator of something incredible that wasn't so dependent on having them back in my life? What if THAT were possible?"

Final Action Steps:

1. Acknowledge yourself - You did something you weren't sure you could do
2. Commit to your non-negotiables - What will you keep doing no matter what?
3. Download the free visualisation - Use it regularly to connect to your future self
4. Decide if you're ready to go deeper - If you felt momentum during this challenge, use it

Key Truth:

"You've already proven you can do hard things. You've already proven you can choose yourself. Now keep going. This is just the start of your next chapter and you get to write it however you want."

You've made it through the hardest part - but what happens after day 28? And how do you make sure you don't just repeat the same patterns with someone new?

In Episode 7 of the 28-Day No Contact Challenge, we're looking ahead. No contact isn't forever - it's meant to give you space to heal and gain clarity. This episode reveals the 5 signs you're actually ready to move forward, what healthy love looks like (so you can finally recognize it), and the deeper work you need to do to break your patterns for good.

What You'll Learn:

• The 5 signs that tell you you're actually healed (not just feeling better temporarily)
• What healthy love looks like: consistency, security, boundaries, and growth
• Why healthy relationships still have conflict (but it feels completely different)
• The red flags you absolutely cannot ignore anymore
• How to recognize YOUR OWN patterns (not just theirs)
• The questions that reveal what you need to work on
• Why rushing into something new will just recreate the same dynamic
• The deeper work that actually changes your relationship patterns

Key Topics Covered:

• The difference between healed and just distracted
• Why there's no clear "finish line" to healing
• Healthy love is consistent (not hot and cold, not anxious)
• The difference between "relationships take work" and "constantly struggling"
• Security: being yourself without fear of judgment or rejection
• Boundaries in healthy relationships (togetherness AND separateness)
• Why healthy conflict doesn't feel like the end of the world
• Red flags: inconsistency, avoiding conversations, dismissing boundaries
• If you're more anxious in the relationship than single, something is wrong
• Understanding the role YOU played in the dynamic
• Where your relationship patterns come from (and how to change them)

This Episode Is For You If:

You're wondering if you're actually ready to date again, you want to know what healthy love looks like so you can recognize it, you're afraid of choosing the same type of person, you keep repeating the same patterns, or you're tempted to rush into something new to prove you're over your ex.

The 5 Signs You're Ready to Move Forward:

1. You can think about your ex without it disrupting your day - You might feel a bit sad or nostalgic, but it doesn't send you spiraling for hours
2. You're no longer checking up on them - No social media stalking, no asking mutual friends, no "accidentally" showing up places
3. You can see the relationship clearly - Both the good AND the bad. Not romanticizing or villainizing. Just seeing it for what it was.
4. You're excited about your own life again - Not just surviving, but actually looking forward to things that have nothing to do with them
5. You can genuinely wish them well - Not "I hope they realize what they lost," but truly hoping they find happiness even if it's not with you

What Healthy Love Actually Looks Like:

✓ Consistent - Not hot and cold. You know where you stand. Actions match words. No constant anxiety about whether they still care.

✓ Secure - You can be yourself without fear. Your needs are met with care, not defensiveness. You're not walking on eggshells.

✓ Has Boundaries - Both maintain individual identities, friendships, interests. Beautiful balance of togetherness and separateness.

✓ Navigates Conflict Together - Disagreements happen, but they don't feel like the end. You work through issues without threatening to leave or bringing up the past.

✓ Grows You - You become better because they inspire and support your growth, not because you're trying to be good enough for them.

✓ Feels Like Teamwork - Relationships take work, but it shouldn't feel like you're fighting to keep something alive that wants to die.

Key Truth:

"If you were constantly trying to convince your ex to choose you, to show up for you, to prioritize you - that's not what healthy love looks like. Healthy love is two people who are both in, both trying, both committed."

Red Flags You Can't Ignore Anymore:

🚩 Inconsistency - Interest fluctuates based on their mood or stress level. You feel like a nuisance when life gets hard for them.

🚩 Avoiding Difficult Conversations - They shut down, get defensive, or turn it around on you every time you try to address an issue.

🚩 Not Respecting Boundaries - They dismiss, minimize, or repeatedly cross boundaries you've expressed.

🚩 Making You Feel Too Much or Not Enough - You constantly prove your worth or apologize for your needs and emotions.

🚩 More Anxious With Them Than Single - If you feel more secure alone than with them, something is fundamentally wrong.

The Deeper Work: Breaking YOUR Patterns:

It's not just about recognizing red flags in other people - it's about recognizing your own patterns.

Ask yourself:

• What role did I play in the relationship that just ended?
• Was I the one who gave too much? Ignored red flags because of potential? Lost myself trying to be what they needed?
• What did this relationship show me about myself?
• What patterns of behavior did I notice in myself?
• What beliefs about love and relationships were driving my choices?

These patterns don't just happen TO you - you participate in them. Until you understand why you do what you do, you'll keep choosing the same type of person or playing the same role with a different person.

Important: Go back and listen to the red flags again. Be honest - do YOU exhibit any of those behaviors? If you want to be part of a healthy relationship, you need to show up healthy too.

The Danger of Rushing Into Something New:

Don't rush into a new relationship just because you're feeling better. Don't use someone new to prove you're over your ex or to fill the void they left.

You need time to:

• Integrate what you learned
• Work on your patterns
• Build your life
• Know yourself outside of a relationship

If you haven't done the work, you'll just recreate the same dynamic with a different person.

Key Quote:

"These patterns don't just happen to you - you participate in them. And until you understand why you do what you do, you'll keep choosing the same type of person or playing the same role with a different person."

Action Steps:

1. Assess your readiness - Review the 5 signs. Where are you honestly at?
2. Write down what healthy love looks like to you - Use this episode as a guide. What are your non-negotiables?
3. Identify YOUR patterns - What role did you play? What kept showing up? Be brutally honest.
4. Trace your beliefs - Where did your beliefs about love come from? Childhood? Past relationships? What you saw modeled?
5. Don't rush - Give yourself time to integrate everything before dating again.

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Download the Workbook: https://www.sylviasuwan.com/no-contact-workbook