Going through a breakup and don't know what to do with yourself? This episode is for you. Whether you're in shock, having a breakdown, or feeling completely detached, all reactions are normal. Instead of the typical breakup advice, I'm sharing 4 practical, actionable steps that will set you up for your next chapter - one that's better than before and intentionally focused on creating your best life.

What You'll Learn

• Why your breakup reaction is normal (and often learned from childhood)
• The 4 unconventional steps to take immediately after a breakup
• How to use this ending as a catalyst for building an amazing life
• Why healing isn't passive and requires intentional work
• How to shift from reactive mode to creative mode

The 4 Steps to Transform Your Breakup 1. Create Your Values List

• Find "values exercises" on Google (takes 5-10 minutes)
• Examples: integrity, loyalty, connection, authenticity, adventure
• Use your values as a compass for all major decisions
• Notice where you're expending energy that doesn't align with who you want to be

2. Complete a Life Wheel Exercise

• Rate 10 life areas on a scale of 1-10 (health, career, finances, relationships, spirituality, etc.)
• Identify which areas have been neglected while focusing on your relationship
• Get an honest assessment to rebuild intentionally
• Focus energy where it will create the most balance and fulfillment

3. Commit to Something Outside Your Comfort Zone

• Choose something that makes you nervous but excited
• Examples: learning to surf, guitar lessons, solo travel, art classes
• Build evidence that you can handle uncertainty and figure things out
• Expand your world instead of shrinking it after a breakup

4. Write Down Your Perfect Day

• Visualize from wake-up to sleep - be detailed
• No limitations based on current circumstances
• Your ex cannot be part of this picture
• Use it as a north star for decision-making
• Ask: "Does this move me closer to or further from my perfect day?"

Key Takeaways

• There's no "right" way to react to a breakup
• Your reaction is likely a coping pattern learned in childhood
• Healing requires intentional work, not just waiting for time to pass
• This breakup is giving you a clean slate and opportunity to rebuild consciously
• People who come out stronger use disruption as a chance to make conscious changes
• You get to choose what to keep and what to leave behind

Resources Mentioned

• Values Exercise: Search "find my values exercises" on Google
• Life Wheel Exercise: Search "life wheel exercise" on Google or book a consultation with Sylvia
• Personal Consultation: DM @sylviasuwan on Instagram for booking link

Connect with Sylvia

• Instagram: @sylviasuwan
• Book a Consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Quote to Remember

"The people who come out of breakups stronger, happier, and more fulfilled are the ones who use the disruption as an opportunity to examine their lives and make conscious changes. They're the ones who refuse to just go back to how things were before."

In this episode, we dive deep into the often unseen—but deeply felt—impact of untreated emotional wounds and how they shape our everyday lives, choices, behaviours, and relationships.

Whether you’re someone who feels “stuck,” overwhelmed, or confused by recurring patterns in your life, this episode will help you understand how unhealed pain manifests and why acknowledging it is the first essential step toward healing.

💔 Topics Covered:

• Why emotional wounds don’t disappear with time or avoidance

• How unresolved pain can influence your choices and decision-making

• The role of fear, shame, anger, and grief in unhealed trauma

• The way emotional wounds distort our behaviours in relationships

• Real-life examples of how wounds show up in everyday interactions

• What true healing looks and feels like (and what it doesn’t)

• How healing leads to emotional freedom, deeper connections, and peace

🧠 Key Insights:

• Emotional wounds can cause us to choose from fear, avoid opportunities, and recreate old patterns.

• These wounds often manifest as people-pleasing, withdrawal, hypervigilance, or emotional shutdown.

• Relationships act as mirrors that reflect our unhealed parts, offering opportunities for growth—or deeper pain if we're unaware.

• Healing is not about forgetting—it’s about reclaiming your power, restoring presence, and choosing love over fear.

✨ What Healing Actually Looks Like:

• Feeling your emotions without being ruled by them

• Being present instead of stuck in the past or fearful of the future

• Responding with compassion—for yourself and others

• Cultivating peace, resilience, and genuine joy

Book a free consultation with Sylvia: https://sylviasuwan.com

Ready to work with me? Book a 1:1 coaching session here

In this episode, we explore a game-changing framework for understanding relationship issues: the hierarchy of relationship problems. Just like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, relationships have different levels of problems that must be addressed in the right order to create lasting, healthy partnerships.

The Relationship Hierarchy (Bottom to Top)

Foundation Level: Basic Relationship Needs

• Respect
• Trust
• Safety (emotional, physical, psychological)
• These are non-negotiable - your relationship equivalent of food, water, and shelter

Middle Tier: Communication and Connection

• Effective communication about difficult topics
• Emotional intimacy and connection
• Shared values and alignment
• Healthy conflict navigation skills

Top Tier: Passion and Fun

• Romance and passion
• Adventure and excitement
• Fun activities and shared experiences
• The "magical" aspects of relationships

Why We Get the Hierarchy Wrong

• Top-tier focus is more appealing - Romance and passion are exciting to think about
• Foundation work isn't "sexy" - Boundary conversations and trust-building feel less romantic
• We try to fix symptoms, not root causes - Like putting a bandage on a broken leg
• Pattern repetition - Without addressing foundational issues, we recreate the same problems with new partners

The Foundation Checklist

Ask yourself these critical questions:

Safety: Do you feel completely safe being yourself with your partner? Can you share your real thoughts, fears, and dreams without judgment?

Trust: Do you trust them completely? Not just fidelity, but follow-through, honesty, and having your best interests at heart?

Respect: Do you feel genuinely respected? Are your input, time, feelings, and perspectives treated as valuable?

If any answer is "no," that's where your work begins.

Common Mistakes

• Planning romantic dates when you can't have conversations without arguments
• Trying to improve physical intimacy when emotional safety is missing
• Focusing on shared activities when basic respect is absent
• Sweeping foundational issues under the rug hoping they'll resolve themselves

The Exercise That Changes Everything

1. Identify the foundational cracks - What basic issues in your current/past relationship weren't addressed?
2. Examine why they weren't addressed - Lack of skills? Fear of conflict? Believing you didn't deserve better?
3. Recognize the pattern - Are you trying to solve the wrong problem at the wrong level?

How to Use This Hierarchy

Step 1: Get crystal clear on your foundation-level non-negotiables

• Define what safety, trust, and respect look like for you
• Don't compromise on these basics

Step 2: Develop middle-tier skills

• Learn effective communication techniques
• Practice building emotional intimacy
• Develop healthy conflict resolution skills

Step 3: Enjoy the top-tier benefits

• Plan romantic experiences
• Explore passion and adventure
• Create magical moments together

Key Takeaways

• Most relationship problems are hierarchy problems - People try to solve issues at the wrong level
• You can't build a healthy relationship on an unhealthy foundation - Surface fixes won't address deeper structural problems
• Foundation work comes first - Safety, trust, and respect must be established before focusing on passion and fun
• These are learnable skills - Communication and intimacy skills can be developed with practice

The Bottom Line

Stop trying to create passion when you need to create safety. Stop planning romantic gestures when you need to establish basic respect. Build from the ground up, address problems at the right level, and create relationships that are not just exciting—but sustainable, secure, and lasting.

Questions for Reflection

• What foundational issues have you been avoiding in your relationships?
• Are you trying to solve surface problems while ignoring deeper structural issues?
• What does safety, trust, and respect specifically look like for you?
• What skills do you need to develop at each level of the hierarchy?

Work with Sylvia - Book a free consultation https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Are you stuck in a loop of anger and hurt months or even years after your breakup? In this powerful episode, Sylvia explores the crucial difference between resistance and acceptance—and why one keeps you trapped while the other sets you free.

If you've been replaying what happened, wishing things could go back to how they were, or feeling like life is happening TO you instead of FOR you, this episode will show you the path forward.

What You'll Learn:

The Two Paths After Heartbreak:

• What resistance really looks like (and why it keeps you powerless)
• How acceptance differs from giving up or condoning what happened
• Why acceptance is the key to reclaiming your choices and your future

The Science Behind Staying Stuck:

• Why negative emotions can become addictive (featuring insights from Dr. Joe Dispenza)
• How your brain gets wired for familiar pain
• The chemical patterns that keep you craving stress and drama

Breaking Free from the Victim Mindset:

• The real reason we resist taking responsibility (it's not what you think)
• How to move from "life is happening to me" to "I'm happening to life"
• Why feeling "ready" is a myth that keeps you waiting forever

Practical Steps Forward:

• The confronting question that changes everything
• How to use your breakup as fuel for creating the life you actually want
• Why arguing with reality always makes you lose

Ready to take the next step? Book a free consultation: sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Connect with Sylvia: Instagram: @sylviasuwan Website: sylviasuwan.com

If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps us reach more people on their healing journey.

This episode contains references to the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza on emotional addiction and neuroplasticity.

Welcome back to Breakup to Blessing.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into two of the most common – and most challenging – emotions that come up after a breakup: loneliness and anxiety.

If you’ve ever felt isolated after the end of a relationship or found yourself spiralling into “what ifs” about the future, you’re not alone. We talk about why these feelings show up, what they’re really trying to tell us, and how we can begin to respond with compassion and connection rather than fear.

We explore:

• Why loneliness and anxiety are normal, not a sign of failure

• The loss of identity that often follows a breakup

• The pressure to “find yourself” again – and why that’s not always the right question

• How friendships can become your most powerful form of healing

• Why we often feel like a burden when we’re vulnerable – and how that belief keeps us stuck

• The gendered challenges around reaching out (especially for men)

• What it means to reconnect – with yourself, with others, and with your life

This episode is a gentle reminder that you don’t have to do this alone. Whether you're newly single or deep in the healing process, this is your invitation to soften, reach out, and rebuild your sense of connection — not just romantically, but through meaningful friendships and community too.

Listen now to hear:

• Why anxiety ramps up after a breakup and what your brain is really trying to do

• How modern relationships can leave us emotionally isolated

• What Simon Sinek and Esther Perel can teach us about friendship, purpose, and healing

• Practical ways to begin reconnecting — even if it feels awkward or scary

• A message of hope for anyone feeling unseen, unloved, or unsure where to go next

Show Links:

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

Follow me on Instagram: @sylviasuwan

Do you find yourself constantly trying to earn love? Staying in relationships where you're always proving your worth? In this episode, we dive deep into one of the most painful beliefs that keeps us stuck in the wrong relationships: "I am not enough."

This isn't about blaming your parents—it's about understanding how childhood experiences shaped your sense of self and how those early messages still run the show in your adult relationships. From conditional love to emotional invalidation, we'll explore the common patterns that create this deep-seated belief of unworthiness.

But more importantly, you'll learn practical tools to break free from these patterns, including a deep dive into reparenting yourself and working with your nervous system when you're triggered.

What You'll Learn

• Why "I'm not enough" shows up in almost every difficult breakup
• 6 common childhood patterns that create feelings of unworthiness
• The difference between emotional validation and healthy socialisation
• How your nervous system gets activated in relationships
• Practical reparenting techniques that actually work
• Why you can't think your way out of triggered states
• How to practice emotional abundance instead of scarcity
• Concrete homework to start shifting these patterns this week

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

 

In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, we’re diving into one of the most common (and haunting) post-breakup questions: “Will my ex come back?”

If you’ve found yourself obsessing over their social media, reading into every detail, or feeling stuck in the in-between, this episode is for you.

We explore:

✨ Why letting go is not the same as giving up ✨ The two roads you can take after a breakup — and how to know which one you’re on ✨ How holding on keeps you stuck (and how to break that cycle) ✨ What actually helps people move on in a healthy, empowered way ✨ How choosing yourself creates momentum, confidence, and even attraction ✨ And why your worth has nothing to do with whether they come back or not

This episode isn’t just about whether they’ll return — it’s about who you become while you’re waiting for the answer. Spoiler: that version of you? She’s magnetic. And she’s who you’ve been waiting for all along.

💬 If this episode resonates and you’re ready to take the next step, book a 1:1 Breakthrough Session with me — 60 minutes dedicated to your healing, clarity, and next steps. → Book your session here

Wanting to work with Sylvia? Book a Free 30minute consultation

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, review and share Breakup to Blessing — it helps the podcast reach more people who need it.

—

Follow & Connect: IG: @sylviasuwan Web: www.sylviasuwan.com

 

In the final episode of my 3-part attachment series, we’re diving into what secure attachment actually looks and feels like — and why, if you’ve experienced insecure relationships, it might feel unfamiliar or even “boring” at first.

We explore the key traits of securely attached people — how they communicate, navigate intimacy, handle conflict, and show up in emotionally grounded ways. I also talk about how secure partners can feel confronting to those who are anxiously or avoidantly attached, and why calm, consistent love can feel like a red flag when your nervous system is used to chaos.

Whether you’re trying to understand secure love for the first time, or you’re working on becoming more securely attached yourself, this episode will help you reflect on what real emotional safety looks like in relationships — and how you can begin to create it.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why secure can feel “boring” to the anxious or avoidant
• The key behaviours and mindsets of securely attached people
• What secure communication really looks like (hint: no games, no chasing)
• How secure people respond to conflict, space, and vulnerability
• What it feels like to be in a relationship with someone secure
• How to move toward secure attachment — even if it’s not your starting point

Want more support? Breakthrough Sessions are open for just one more week! These free one-on-one calls are designed to help you get clear on where you are, what’s keeping you stuck, and how to start moving forward with intention.

Click here to book: https://calendly.com/sylvia_suwan/breakthrough-session

Or send me a DM on Instagram with the word “breakthrough” and I’ll send you the link https://instagram.com/sylviasuwan

Are you constantly worried your partner might leave? Do you replay texts, second-guess your worth, or feel like you love harder than others? If so, this episode is for you.

This week on Breakup to Blessing, we’re diving deep into anxious attachment — what it looks like, where it comes from, and how it quietly shapes the way you connect with others. I unpack the core fears that drive anxious patterns, including the fear of abandonment, overthinking, people-pleasing, and the need for constant reassurance.

I also explore:

• How anxious attachment develops from early relationship experiences
• The anxious/avoidant dynamic — and why it feels so magnetic yet painful
• What an anxious/anxious cycle can look like
• The subtle but powerful ways anxious attachment shows up in dating and long-term relationships
• And most importantly: how to start healing from the inside out

I’m not giving you cookie-cutter advice — I’m sharing deeper, longer-lasting strategies to build emotional safety within yourself, stop over-functioning in relationships, and move toward secure, grounded love.

Whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship — understanding your attachment style is one of the most transformational things you can do for yourself and your future connections.

💬 Book your free breakthrough session If you’re ready to take the next step and want clarity, guidance, or support for the next 6 months of your personal growth or relationship journey, you can book a free one-hour breakthrough session with me by booking here, or just DM me the word “breakthrough” on Instagram https://instagram.com/sylviasuwan

✨ Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and share this with someone who could use it.

In this episode of Breakup to Blessing, we’re diving deep into avoidant attachment—what it really looks like, where it comes from, and how it shows up in relationships. If you've ever experienced “the ick,” felt overwhelmed by emotional closeness, or found yourself pushing people away without really knowing why, this one is for you.

We explore:

• The connection between avoidant attachment and the “ick”
• Why avoidants may idealise partners early and then suddenly devalue them
• The push-pull cycle of anxious-avoidant relationships (and why it’s so common)
• How avoidant/avoidant couples often mistake emotional distance for compatibility
• Practical steps you can take to move toward secure attachment and deeper intimacy

Whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship, this episode offers self-reflection tools and healing strategies to support your journey toward healthier, more fulfilling connections.

📌 Mentioned Episode: [Episode 37 – What Attachment Style Are You?] (DM me "37" on Instagram @sylviasuwan if you want the direct link!)

Episode 37:

Listen on Apple Podcasts 

Listen on Spotify

Book a free consultation: https://sylviasuwan.com/consultation

• Emotional labeling practice
• How to plan vulnerability in conversations
• Challenging black-and-white thinking
• Micro-commitments that build emotional safety