What is enmeshment? How and why does mother enmeshment set men up to struggle with porn? In this episode, you'll learn ten sexual symptoms of enmeshment and how to outgrow it.

Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):

• Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, by Ken Adams (book)
• When He's Married To Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment, by Ken Adams (book)
• Healing With My Parents (the podcast episode where I interviewed my parents, Yvonne and Sandy Boa, about healing as a family)

Want to outgrow enmeshment on your way to outgrowing porn?

Join the waitlist for HMA at joinHMA.com

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Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Hear Ken Freire's story of healing from childhood sexual abuse, achieving lasting freedom from porn, and finding joy and purpose in Christ.

Ken Freire owns Scriptures.blog and hosts the Shame(less) Podcast. Ken has been helping Christian men break free from addiction and reclaim their purpose for the last 15 years. Through his own journey of overcoming abuse, shame, and embracing God’s grace, he aims to equip others with biblical wisdom and practical tools for lasting transformation. He's been married for 13 years and has 4 beautiful children. Ken has a Master’s in Divinity from Regent University, is a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Prepare & Enrich Facilitator. 

Connect with Ken:

• Podcast: beshameless.org
• Website: scriptures.blog
• Instagram: instagram.com/kenfreire
• Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/kenfreire/

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What determines marital satisfaction more than sex or money? What if "compromise" actually makes things worse? How do you create a marriage you love? Sheila Wray Gregoire unpacks the results of her latest research with thousands of married couples, calling out harmful evangelical teachings and sharing a surprising new data on what it takes to build the marriage you want.

Buy Sheila's new book: The Marriage You Want: Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well
as a sought-after speaker and award-winning author of nine books. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing
the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to make it healthy,
evidence-based, and biblical. She and her husband, Keith, live in Ontario,
Canada.

Learn more at BareMarriage.com.

More books by Sheila Wray Gregoire (paid links):

• The Marriage You Want
• The Good Guy's Guide To Great Sex
• The Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex
• The Great Sex Rescue
• She Deserves Better

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What's your plan for outgrowing porn? The Five Circles tool will help you define what freedom looks like, why it matters, and how to set yourself up for success.

Download the Five Circles Of Freedom worksheet at husbandmaterial.com/freedom 

Mentioned in this episode:

• Tools For Healing: The Three Circles (blog)
• Staci Sprout (creator of the Five Circles Model)
• How To Reframe A Porn Relapse (podcast episode)
• Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (book; paid link)
• The Five Circles Of Freedom (worksheet)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How can men protect women instead of complying with sexism and abuse? Dr. Andrew Bauman shares the results of his research with over 2,800 Christian women, and what men need to hear in order to advocate for change in our churches and communities.

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.

Buy Andrew's books (paid links):

• Safe Church
• How Not To Be An *SS
• The Sexually Healthy Man
• The Psychology Of Porn
• Stumbling Toward Wholeness

Learn more about Andrew's 4-day men's workshops here.

Connect with Andrew at andrewjbauman.com.

Also mentioned in this episode:

• Dr. Christy Bauman
• Dr. Diane Langberg
• GRACE: Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Am I abusive? How can I acknowledge the truth without beating myself up? What makes a good and safe man? Dr. Andrew Bauman explains two ways to be abusive, the difference between humility and self-hatred, and how to express clean anger and fight fair.

Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.

Buy Andrew's books (paid links):

• Safe Church
• How Not To Be An *SS
• The Sexually Healthy Man
• The Psychology Of Porn
• Stumbling Toward Wholeness

Learn more about Andrew's 4-day men's workshops here.

Connect with Andrew at andrewjbauman.com.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

When I watch porn, when I relapse, when I wander, when I make mistakes... in the middle of my sin, how does God really feel about me?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Inheritance: Message by Graham Cooke (video)
• God Has A Name, by John Mark Comer (book; paid link)
• How Jesus Reverses The Curse (podcast)

Here are a few of the Bible passages we talked about:

• Matthew 3:13-4:11
• John 15:9
• Romans 5:8
• 1 John 2:1
• Psalm 103
• Luke 15

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What are the building blocks of a healthy relationship? In this episode, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith reveal the "Intimacy Pyramid" of what is required for trust and intimacy—especially for couples healing from sexual betrayal. Get wisdom from two people who rebuilt their marriage after porn almost destroyed it.

Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time (paid link). They have over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.

Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.

Download the Raabsmiths' free check-in: The Honest Connection.

Get a copy of Building True Intimacy to dive into the Intimacy Pyramid.

Learn more and connect with Matthew and Joanna at raabsmithteam.com.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Why do I feel so disconnected from other people...and myself? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci unpacks the reasons why many men struggle to emotionally connect. You'll learn about the talker, the fixer, the thinker, the nice guy, "Mr. Right," the runner, the distractor, and the flopper.

Mark your calendar for Drew and Eddie's upcoming workshop:

Emotional Connection Workshop For Men

Friday April 11, 2025 (replays available)

Learn more and register now here.

https://drew-boa.mykajabi.com/workshop

Related resources featuring Eddie:

• Why Men Struggle To Love (book; paid link)
• Becoming Emotionally Mature (podcast)
• How Do I Help My Hurting Spouse? (podcast)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

When did you first hear the word "sex" or "porn" or "masturbation"? The first time you ever hear a word has a disproportionate impact. This is called the power of first mention, and it is an extremely important principle for sex education.

Related resources and episodes: 

• TheSexTalk.com (online course for parents)
• Having The Talks: A Guided Conversation Game On Sexuality For Parents And Children (paid link)
• How To Teach Children About Sexuality (with Adam and Karissa King)
• How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex (with Rodney and Traci Wright)
• Healing With My Parents (with Yvonne Boa and Sandy Boa)
• The 2025 Husband Material Retreat (with a breakout session on sex education)

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!