Hyphen Nation

In this episode of THE GREATEST PODCAST IN THE WORLD, I give you two full hours of content. I take shots at local podcast competition. I explain how I’m probably hanging up my fantasy football cleats next season, at least for a year. I give the Chicago Cubs their 108 year late due. I detail my trip home, including my father receiving a free soda and how he’s taken over a local Applebee’s without any official ownership paperwork. I pretty much sum up how everyone feels about The Voice. I shout out some of my listeners. I relive the tragedies of losing my birth mother and my adoptive mother in October and November 2015. And I wrap up with my thoughts on the 2016 Election and the forthcoming four year reign of Donald Trump. My name is Kelen Conley and I endorse the unfriend/unfollow buttons.

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On this episode of THE WORLD’S GREATEST PODCAST, I have a lot to say. I talk about CM Punk’s loss at UFC 203, finally. I share quick thoughts on Colin Kaepernick, finally. I tell the tale of the indecent proposal I got in my training class. I ask the big question: Did Mother Gothel actually love Rapunzel? I wonder if my time as a leader of #TeamDrake is coming to an end. I go into why I’m constantly tied to Carlton Banks. I relive how I ended up totaling Angel’s car. And I recommend a lot of things. Such as Atlanta. You really should be watching Atlanta. Paper Boi. Paper Boi. All about that paper boy.

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Hyphen Nation is almost legal to drink but I’m over here popping champagne anyway! In the 20th edition of the best podcast in the world (I was wrong in the episode, this is the 31st week of the year, making me 11 episodes behind having an episode every week of 2016), I have a lot to bring to the microphone this time out. A little Russell Westbrook talk. A little Drake and Joe Budden talk. A lot of WWE talk about Battleground, Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens, July 25th’s episode of Raw, and Sasha Banks/Charlotte. A little about how the NFL is in a constant lose/lose battle with player safety and making the game of football less fun talk. A little drug test talk. And a sincere cry for help about my inability to listen to as many podcasts that are currently on my iPod. Just like The Whispers, the beat and the podcast goes on.

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In June, for the second straight season, the Golden State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers faced off for the NBA Championship. After a record breaking 73 win season, the Warriors mostly dominated the first 4 games of the series to take a 3-1 lead, heading back to Oakland for Game 5. From there, the Cavaliers were able to win 3 straight, including 2 wins in Oakland to win their first NBA Championship and the first major championship for Cleveland since 1964. Since I’ve known him, Eric Jordan has always been one of the biggest Cleveland fans I know. As soon as Game 7 was over, I knew I had to get him on the show to talk about the biggest event in Cleveland sports history. The longest episode of Hyphen Nation may be the best episode of Hyphen Nation ever. This is for you Cleveland.

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After last episode’s seriousness, I get back into the swing of the regular Hyphen Nation beat. I read about some sudden naysayers of myself and the podcast and I respond in kind. I address the tragedy of Christina Grimmie’s death. I relive an awkward conversation at work. I talk about McDonald’s again… but not how you think. Then I go in heavy on Kevin Durant, the future of my Chicago Bulls, and how I’m holding off my membership into the Minnesota Timberwolves fan club… for now. I finish things with a little WWE talk before the Battleground PPV. Still avoiding talk of the Cleveland Cavaliers. BUT IT WILL SOON HAPPEN.

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“Crime is increasing

Trigger happy policing

Panic is spreading

God knows where we're heading” - Marvin Gaye & James Nix

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So your hero may be out here hunting for free wifi like a nomad but never fear, as Hyphen Nation 16 is… has arrived. Aside from avoiding obvious rhymes, there’s a lot to talk about in this episode. As I’m finally a homeowner, I explain all the details of our second move in a month as well as a harrowing tale of what my 10 year old chihuahua gave me as a housewarming gift. Then I share the sad story of my life with no wifi and the natural fear of extra data usage fees that comes with it. I talk a little about my new music video for “Rewind”, my performance on June 16, and the beginning stages of recording my next album. I also delve into a little UFC talk about Brock Lesnar and CM Punk, which comes after talk about the sad news of Kimbo Slice’s death and the impact Muhammad Ali had on myself and the world. Live from the third Kroger parking lot in Morgantown… you know what it is.

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Not fired from the day job yet, but definitely back with a 4th episode in 2 weeks of Hyphen Nation. In this pulse pounding slobberknocker, I get into how my most recent column motivated a friend and frequent collaborator. Then I take some time out to thank Pusha T for writing “I’m Loving It” for McDonald’s before explaining how some topic ideas I have for the show just aren’t very good. I give my take on the gorilla debate and somehow segue that into a story of an incident with a fence from my childhood. After that embarrassment, I finish things off with recommendations as well as why I no longer get excited about the X-Men films. Ya boy owns a house now so you know there’s big things poppin’ and little things stoppin’. And coffee provided by The Grind here in Morgantown.

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It’s time for everyone to put on their best all white outfit and get out in the sun! Pools are open; the speedos are in full effect! Hustle to the mall and get you a short set! Yeah you got on sneaks but you need a new pair! Cause why? CAUSE BASKETBALL COURTS IN THE SUMMER GOT GIRLS THERE! Back to live action, Hyphen Nation 14 is all over the place.There’s a short discussion on the NBA Finals. I give out a great recommendation on a barber if you need one in Morgantown and a decent recommendation on a book. I discuss the house of horrors that is Maximum Carnage for SNES and Sega Genesis. I try to make some kind of point about Memorial Day but I don’t really go anywhere with it. I explain why I love the number 14. And then I border on a tirade about why I hate McDonald’s commercials. 2016 is almost over y’all, better start making New Year’s plans right away.

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Back to back episodes? What fresh new world is this? Did the comic line reboot itself? Did Marty make the wrong move back in alternate 1985? Is anything we know actually the truth or is everything a crazy shamble of a lie? Anyway, Hyphen Nation is back and there’s lemonade to be discussed. I spend a huge chunk of time explaining why I had to go Anti-Beyoncé after the release of her new album… Lemonade. What a dumb title. I’ll tell you one thing… in the episode. After that I discuss Game 5 of the NBA Western Conference Finals and tonight’s Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Finals. I spend a little time reminiscing on my Shoe Dept. retail days and then try to explain cicadas for those of us not going through it. I even got a couple recommendations in there. So join the Anti-Beyoncé brigade (or #TeamHov), there’s only a few days left to hate Beyoncé for making music!

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