Hypotheticast

It's still SO scary out there. But the two antidotes? Oh, you know. Podcasts and friendship. This one's got BOTH. Wait, there are three antidotes. The third one is kissing. And while we do not kiss on this episode, we DO discuss who we would WANT to kiss. And the Absolutely Certified Mega-Star Hope Nordquist joins us. It's too much.

Topics include: Vampire Consent Culture, Terrifying Conversations with Tilda Swinton, Because of How You Just Said "Get Nasty With", All Turtle Guy, Sausage Man Knows What He Wants, Scary Stories to Date in the Dark, What Gravestone Have You Gotten To, and I Want the Fancy Witch.

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Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you aren't afraid to answer the cats / bats / rats question.

It's scarytimes, and there's so much to be scared of. How do you know what to look at, what to be around, what to listen to, in order to really maximize your fear? We're here to help you figure out what the absolute SCARIEST things are. We got this.

Topics Include: Carol of the Hells, You Don't Want Your Child to Gut a Horse, Bats are Bad Sneakers, The Invisible Man from England, A Shark Named Jaws, and A Haunted Boatride.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you still think horses are filled with candy.

BOO.

Yeah, scary.

It's that time. Lots of brands are capitalizing on Big Halloween this time of year, and some of them came to us. Weird, I know, but it's true. They asked us to help. So we did, because we're nice. Listen to the amazing ideas we have for making Halloween this year a true capitalist success.

Topics include: Dearie is a No-Go, Halloween is the Fantasy Novel of Reality, Yes Horror, Wheel of Jeopardy, Cody's Peloton Prison, Skeloton, The Ghost is Cute Though, and When I Think About Gravel.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd try Dead Bull.

It's Fall! Autumn! The Third One! Whatever you call it, trees have begun the big dump. But the only thing that's fallin' over here at the Hypotheticast is our ratings. Wait.

Anyway, we're doing a couple Autumnal Buzzfeed Quizzes today! Tune in to learn about us, as we learn about ourselves.

Topics include: Wood Paneling is Back, Too Soggy, Lumbersexual Snacks, Easy Bread, OatGurt, Movies Don't Have Feelings, We're Ready for H, Suckin' the Jelly, and Classic Ween.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd order something simply called "sandwich."

Well, well, well. Our beloved Mike is becoming another year older. So he's brought some birthday-party-themed would-you-rathers for us to reaaaaaaally chew on. There's some existential stuff in here, travelers. Come on down.

Topics include: Funfetti, John Steinbeck's The Gold, Ooze Into Your Cracks, Trick Take Me to the Emergency Room, You Have to Work for the Box, Hot Dog Factory, A Streamer as Big as You Want, Give Kids Hooks, and A "Died By" Date.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd really like to meet some of those terrifying Full Human People that work at the Hot Dog Factory.

A lot of folks are quitting their jobs. Nobody wants to work for you anymore. But what jobs are we going to get? This week, we're discussing what it would be like if we changed careers, but in a fun way. Yeah. Fun.

Topics include: The Circle, The Patch Adams Scale, Tiny Anthropomorphic Body Cells, Hoping Someone Will Write a Dark Story About Me Someday, Strike David From the Record, Sea World Sucks, I Would Sleep with Them Where They Are In Their Nest, Break Up With Your Cowboy

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to work at SeaWorld to "change the system from the inside."

Ahahaha. Wednesday. It's back again.

And so are we! We're playing Red Flags, which is absolutely a game that you all should play, to know exactly where your boundaries are. We all learn something every dang time.

Topics: What If I Was Really Aggressive, Until the Ground Beef Stops, Physical Comedy Can't Be Beat, Mr. Bean Lives in the Bean, Touch Me In My No-No, The Star Wars Kid, You Have Strong Suspicions that They're a Serial Killer, and Hot Log.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think that the funniest person in the world is probably more of a Dracula.

Oh, yes. It's time for a Romantic Dramedy. Mike and Emily take some randomly generated creatures and create some absolutely juicy shows / movies that will almost certain cause some sort of TV Network bidding war.

Topics include: Extreme Fantasy Names, SOS I Need You to Come Here Now, I Should Be a TV Writer, Time Mouse is Terri Gross, King Spacefinder, She Kinda Rains Metal Lightning, and Dollar Tree is Your Friend.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd like to hang out at a space bar with a couple gods.

Back to school! We're . . . doing it? It looks different, obviously, for many folks. But on THIS podcast, we're making it look very different. Mike and David are going back to school. And Emily's in control.

It's a Would You Blank It.

Topics include: The Ejection Lever, Duct Tape Your Wrists Together, You're Old School, God Answers Prayer, How Knobby Is Her Hand, Cover Your Necks, He's a Super Nice Guy, Elevated Cafeteria Pizza, and Big Indecent Guys Fail at Real Tests and the Real Tests Happen Here Where There are No Big Indecent Guys.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you would eat any and all Fairy Food that you came across and enjoy your Big Joyful Spirited Away Pig Life.

We're makin' up some Dark Stories! That's right. And what's more, we're solving them, too. It's like when the detective in the movie is like "I also did the murder" and everyone's like "well it's not as impressive that you solved it then, is it?" and the detective is like "no not really, but what a twist, right?" It's a little like that.

Topics include: Professor Beard, The Infinity Store, Exploding Chocolate Soccer Balls, Saw, I'm Not That Saw Guy, Big and Beefy and Buff, Mushy Grapes, The Rube Goldberg Killer, and Herbie: Fully Woke.

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Come chat with us, and other rad fans of the show, in our FACEBOOK GROUP! iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you would legitimately watch a sequel to Herbie where a car just browsed Nextdoor and helped de-escalate people.