The Cute Ones are so back, and to ring in a new season - it’s Beethoven’s 2nd! So get the damn dawgs and cozy up to listen to this episode where Chelsea and Donny talk about unneutered balls, inflation prices on McDonald’s breakfasts, what dogs eat, Helen Keller (naturally), and most importantly - five little monkeys jumping on the bed.  Also, trigger warning for this CHILDREN'S MOVIE: SA.

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Taylor Swift is devious, Donny wants to eat smelts, Chelsea is playing Dungeons and Dragons, and the Orgy Dome was destroyed. A big week all around.

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This episode originally aired 1/22/23.

If you couldn’t tell by Donny’s receding hairline and Chelsea’s creaky bones, it’s the 25th Anniversary of Spice World, and we are officially old! To celebrate, Hannah Brown, proud owner of the DVD, is here to recap the movie and share her praises of the girl group, including her favorite member (a distant relative?!) Chelsea’s nemesis is up to his old tricks as he comes for girl power and Dunkin Donuts, and Donny makes new nemisi of his own as Hannah and Chelsea (incorrectly) tell him that he’s wrong about a very important plot point. Also, the Dave Matthews Band is disgusting and Chelsea prepares for aliens.

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Chelsea's going through it, and her discussion topics are here to prove it - but she's not lying! Meanwhile, Donny is not missing; he was just asking his mom to make cookies and watching Survivor: Australia vs. the World. The Cute Ones giggle about dead dogs, dragon puberty, Monopoly, and Sabrina Carpenter and Olivio Rodrigo's props for emotional support.

[time stamps]

INTRODUCTION

1:30 chelsea is a liar & her mom was abducted by aliens

3:10 astrological discovery about virgos

6:15 monopoly & spiritual money blocks

9:00 companion (movie review)

10:30 donny teaches children life lessons

13:30 donny’s housewives experience

15:20 highest 2 lowest (movie review)

RECOMMENDATIONS

24:40 australia vs the world survivor

HEADLINES

26:45 andy samberg’s nemesis dies

30:10 sabrina carpenter / olivia rodrigo news

33:00 cutie of the week

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To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

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TGIF (Cuties! We'll say it for you if you're at work)! Put your sneakers on (cc: Vanessa Hudgens' Sneakernight) and plan a party with your friends where you... debate lawn chairs and pay your bills while Chelsea plays video games and Donny celebrates sobriety with JoJo. Or you could fight with strangers on the internet because that's what the Cute Ones are doing with their week!

INTRO

1:30 2000s dance party/freakier friday

6:30 P.f. chang’s & chelsea’s dream about donny

7:30 donny’s emotional sobriety update

11:00 video games are ruining chelsea’s life

12:30 fighting on the internet: embarrassing or fun?

RECOMMENDATIONS

18:40 choosing joy (and energy drinks)

23:40 song of achilles

25:00 YOUTUBE LIVE ANNOUNCEMENT

HEADLINES

25:30 is alec baldwin okay????

26:40 taylor swift’s new album

28:40 cruel summer season 3

31:40 jessica biel / 7th heaven

32:20 MGK / aliens in hollywood

37:30 CUTIE OF THE WEEK

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Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon! 

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In this episode, Donny and Chelsea explore themes of mindfulness, sleep hygeine, and the importance of being intentional with time. They discuss their personal experiences with digital detox, new hobbies, and the excitement surrounding Big Brother 40. The conversation also touches on the impact of AI in daily life, health concerns, and the escapism found in gaming. They share recommendations for theater and entertainment, along with updates on pop culture and reality TV. The episode concludes with reflections on personal growth and the significance of community.

...if Chelsea asks, a human totally wrote this.

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Great. As if Donny didn't have enough trauma from watching The Royal Tenenbaums once, we're revisiting it with this flashback episode!

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Donny's sister had her baby, but he has bigger things to talk about: his diarrhea this week, but that's nothing on what Chelsea went through this week: deleting TikTok after learning about time traveling Airbnbs.

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Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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