I Can't Even...A Podcast About Borderlines By Borderlines

Episode Seven

In this deeply honest and unexpectedly hilarious episode, a courageous (and anonymous) Black woman shares her lived experience with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). From feeling “too much” as a teen to navigating abandonment in therapy, she holds nothing back—and proves that being emotionally intense doesn’t make you broken, it makes you powerful.

We explore early signs, misdiagnoses, codependency, attachment, impulsive coping, and the deep empathy that often gets overlooked in people with BPD. Oh—and we laugh a LOT along the way.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Connect with her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bpdmelanin/

Episode Topic Timeline (Approximate)

• 00:00 – 01:00 — Opening statement about the fear and stigma of BPD; introduction and trigger warning
• 01:00 – 03:00 — What it’s like to feel “different” from a young age
• 04:00 – 06:30 — Emotional intensity and being told "you're too sensitive"
• 06:45 – 08:30 — Diagnosis story: Being diagnosed at 22 and the rarity of early recognition
• 08:30 – 10:30 — Misdiagnoses, PTSD, and feeling like “too much” for therapists
• 10:30 – 12:30 — Abandonment by a therapist and the emotional fallout
• 12:30 – 15:00 — Discussion on broken mental health systems and trying to trust again
• 15:00 – 18:30 — Coping mechanisms: impulsivity, codependency, fear of rejection
• 18:30 – 21:30 — Romantic attachment patterns, rage episodes, and self-awareness
• 21:30 – 24:00 — Hypersexuality, emotional regulation, and what's misunderstood in BPD
• 24:00 – 27:00 — Reclaiming BPD as a superpower: deep empathy, intuition, and resilience
• 27:00 – 29:00 — Affirmation mantra + invitation to visit showmegrace.org for support

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: [email protected]

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby

Today's episode features Jade Stanton - BPD Coach & Warrior.

In this uplifting and educational episode, BPD Coach Jade Stanton joins the conversation to share her powerful story of early diagnosis, navigating recovery, and turning her pain into purpose. Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at just 16, Jade opens up about the emotional intensity of adolescence, the science behind the BPD brain, and why remission—not perfection—is the goal.

Listeners will learn why DBT is powerful but not the only path, how access to the right support can be life-changing, and why BPD recovery must be person-centered. Jade’s insights are honest, encouraging, and deeply validating for anyone navigating life with BPD—or supporting someone who is.

Major Topic Timeline (Approximate)

• 00:00 – 01:15 — Welcome message and trigger warning
• 01:30 – 03:00 — Meet Jade Stanton: BPD coach, warrior, and advocate
• 04:00 – 06:30 — Diagnosed at 16: What led to an early BPD diagnosis
• 06:30 – 08:00 — Importance of a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation
• 08:00 – 11:00 — What’s happening in the BPD brain during an episode (in layman’s terms)
• 11:00 – 13:00 — The power of being understood by an expert (Okeechobee, FL shoutout!)
• 14:00 – 16:00 — Is DBT the only effective treatment for BPD? Debunking the myth
• 16:00 – 19:00 — Individualized care + Recovery as a lifelong journey
• 19:00 – 22:00 — Jade’s path to coaching: Filling the resource gap with compassion
• 22:00 – 24:30 — The global reach of her BPD community and online support
• 25:00 – 26:30 — Jade’s letter to her 8-year-old self: “Your brain will lie to you.”
• 27:00 – 29:00 — Jade's message to her 88-year-old self: “I hope you're having fun.”
• 31:00 – 33:00 — Final reflections: Recovery is about your life, not just a diagnosis
• 33:00 – 35:00 — How to connect with Jade & join her thriving online community
• 35:00 – End — Podcast mantra, closing thoughts, and support resources

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby

Email: [email protected]

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby

In a compelling episode of Nicole's podcast, licensed clinical social worker Sarah Abbott opens up about her unique perspective as both a mental health professional and someone living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Their conversation reveals valuable insights about therapy approaches, finding proper support, and redefining identity beyond diagnosis.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Sara Abbott, MSW, LCSW, LICSW https://www.thewellnesswayllc.com/home

• Sarah hosts the "Bold Beautiful Borderlands" podcast and can be found on Instagram at @borderlinefromhell, with her podcast at @boldbeautifulborderline

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:28 Sara’s Introduction

• 4:09 11 Years of Pre-Suicide and Post-Suicide Behavior?

• 11:21 How Trauma Informs Her Perspective?

• 12:08 Not Being in Therapy as a Therapist

• 13:26 What in the World is Holistic Bio Psychosocial Approach to Therapy?

• 16:56 Why Aren’t All Medical and Mental Health Providers Using Cross Systems Planning?

• 23:39 Why It’s Okay Sometimes for Both the Therapist and the Client to Say the Wrong Thing?

• 27:57 Why Borderlines Need to Bring the “Fun” Back?

• 34:56 Be Clear About Your Deal Breakers and Must Haves Before Finding a Therapist

• 41:01 Permission to Not See Yourself Through the Lense of Having Borderline

• 43:37 Closing

(End of Interview)

• 43:57 Closing Statement & BPD Daily Mantra

• 44:15 Outro

Episode Resources:

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

o Free & low-cost BPD resources and support, including career coaching

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole [email protected]

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Today’s episode brings us the final part of what has been a most exciting and informative interview with Valerie Porr, Author and Founder of the Treatment and Research Advancements National Association for Personality Disorder (TARA4BPD), a non-for-profit organization founded in 1995. She shares a Call to Action, determined that change will come with more involvement in conferences and BPD presentations. And we definitely need to promote BPD research..

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Valerie Porr

• Website: https://www.tara4bpd.org//

•

Episode Resources:

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

o Free & low-cost BPD resources and support, including career coaching

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole [email protected]

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Support The Show:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1w8Al9kFeNskbt8COjJifi?si=b83e472252bd4175

Pandora:https://pandora.app.link/aidOtuflGJb

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c5a7d061-0a9a-42d8-a264-f28364ebc40d/i-can't-even-kill-myself-right

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-i-cant-even-kill-myself-ri-174364401

Today’s episode brings us the second part of an exciting interview with Valerie Porr, Author and Founder of the Treatment and Research Advancements National Association for Personality Disorder (TARA4BPD), a non-for-profit organization founded in 1995. She highlights the need to increase funding and resources for personality disorder research and treatment. She also suggests implementing research domain criteria instead of DSM for better diagnosis and treatment.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Valerie Porr

• Website: https://www.tara4bpd.org//

• LINK FOR VALERIE'S AWARD-WINNING BOOK: "Overcoming Borderline Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:30 Funding Disparities in Mental Health Treatment

• 3:54 Diagnostic Challenges and Comorbidity

• 7:52 Limitations of DSM and New Research Approaches

• 11:59 Statistics and Treatment Implications

• 15:23 Advocacy and Professional Stigma

• 21:45 Conclusion and Call to Action

• 27:20 Closing

(End of Interview)

• 28:40 Closing Statement & BPD Daily Mantra

• 29:40 Outro

Episode Resources:

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

o Free & low-cost BPD resources and support, including career coaching

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole [email protected]

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Support The Show:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1w8Al9kFeNskbt8COjJifi?si=b83e472252bd4175

Pandora:https://pandora.app.link/aidOtuflGJb

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c5a7d061-0a9a-42d8-a264-f28364ebc40d/i-can't-even-kill-myself-right

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-i-cant-even-kill-myself-ri-174364401

Today’s episode brings us the first of three parts of an exciting interview with Valerie Porr, Author and Founder of the Treatment and Research Advancements National Association for Personality Disorder (TARA4BPD), a non-for-profit organization founded in 1995. We unpack why BPD, after 30+ years of research, is still so stigmatized by psychiatrists, clinicians, and mental health providers. You don’t want to miss her breakdown of how BPD differences are not recognized as advantages in today’s world.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Valerie Porr

• Website: https://www.tara4bpd.org//

• LINK FOR VALERIE'S AWARD-WINNING BOOK: "Overcoming Borderline Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 3:45 How She Unpacked Patterns in How PwBPD Respond to Their Loved Ones?

• 7:35 Is it BPD Manipulation or Survival?

• 11:21 Why Everyone Should Take A Closer Look at BPD Hypervigilance?

• 15:30 Why BPD Differences Are Not Recognized as Advantages in Today's World?

• 19:29 Are You Having A BPD Reaction or A Human Reaction?

• 23:39 How to Connect with Valerie

• 27:20 Closing

(End of Interview)

• 28:40 Closing Statement & BPD Daily Mantra

• 29:40 Outro

Episode Resources:

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

o Free & low-cost BPD resources and support, including career coaching

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole [email protected]

Music Producer: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Support The Show:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1w8Al9kFeNskbt8COjJifi?si=b83e472252bd4175

Pandora:https://pandora.app.link/aidOtuflGJb

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/c5a7d061-0a9a-42d8-a264-f28364ebc40d/i-can't-even-kill-myself-right

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-i-cant-even-kill-myself-ri-174364401

Today’s episode brings us an exciting interview with Dr. Courtney Tracy (known as 'the truth doctor'), a licensed clinical social worker and doctor of clinical psychology with over 2 million followers worldwide. Dr. Tracy shares her personal journey with substance abuse and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD),

Dr. Tracy emphasizes the importance of psychoeducation and understanding the brain's functioning in BPD treatment. She also mentions her upcoming book 'Your Unconscious is Showing,' which adapts the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous into 12 Steps of Consciousness for mental health struggles. Tune in for wisdom, healing strategies, and an empowering approach to overcoming emotional challenges.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Courtney Tracy, Website: https://www.thetruthdoctor.com/

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 3:36 What Led You to This Type of Work?
• 7:25 How Do You Define Recovery?
• 7:12 Is BPD Recovery Possible?
• 10:56 The Blurred Lines Between Being Borderline and Being Human
• 17:51 The Importance of Psychoeducation About The Body & The Brain
• 21:14 Messages to Dr. Tracy’s Younger and Older Selves
• 27:16 How to Connect with Dr. Tracy
• 30:22 Closing

(End of Interview)

• 30:51 Closing Statement & BPD Daily Mantra
• 31:28 Outro

Episode Resources:

• Dr. Courtney Tracy: https://www.thetruthdoctor.com/

https://www.instagram.com/the.truth.doctor

Link to her book: Dr. Courtney's Book

• Press Pause, Inc.’s Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host: Nicole: [email protected]

Credits: Music Producer: DJtheIII, Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

In this special episode, we’re celebrating the season by bringing you a seamless playlist featuring all the incredible songs from past episodes of Press Pause! Whether relaxing at home, taking a winter stroll, or just needing a moment to unwind, this music compilation is designed to provide comfort, inspiration, and joy.

Sit back, press play, and let the melodies take you on a reflective journey through Season 1. It’s the perfect way to revisit the musical highlights from the show and create meaningful moments during the holiday season.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

(Beginning of Playlist)

• • 1:07 Intro to The Holiday Playlist• 1:50 “Free Mind” – Tems: • 3:02 “Healing” by Computer Data: • 4:23 “Ion Like That” by Jane Handcock: • 5:46 “Wasn’t Looking” by Eliza: • 7:07 “[Who?] Keeps Changing Your Mind (Daniel Bowie and Roy Rox Mix)” by South Street Player: • 8:30 ‘What You Afraid Of (DJ Spen & Thommy Davis Disco Phobia Mix)” - Ziggy Funk feat. Taliwa: • 9:56 “Who Am I” by Boddhi Satva Feat. Athenai & C.Robert Walker: • 11:23 “Free” by Stephanie Mills: • 12:45 “Lonely Days” by CocoSA: • 14:05 “Little Things” (Remix) by Jorja Smith ft MayDay: • 15:29 “Gold” by Austin Millz: • 16:51 “Every Word” – Temika Moore: • 18:14 “I Might Do Something Wrong” (Osunlade Lonely Mix) by Tortured Soul: • 19:36 “Acceptance” by Synkro: • 21:00 “When I’m In Your Arms” by Cleo Sol: • 22:22 “Keep Going” (Chosen) by Sevena - • 23:42 “Breathe” by Timi: • 25:08 “Northface” by Sinazza x Kagan: • 26:28 “Stressed’ - Doechii: • 27:50 “Self Love” - Ari Lennox Bas & Baby Rose: • 29:11 Closer by Goapele: • 30:35 “Surely Slowly” by Jill Scott: • 31:57 “FREQUENCY” by Stella: • 33:19 “Thinking Less” by Sinead Harnett Music: • 34:40 “Xorberax”- I Know: • 36:02 “Get Dressed” by NXTLVL4L: • 37:25 “I Am” by Beautiful Chorus featuring India.Arie: • 38:47 “Find Me Here” by Sherwin Gardner: • 40:11 “Forgive Them” by Jane Handcock, Harry Simmons: • 41:33 “Deep End” by Fousheé: • “Say Something (A Great Big World)” - Jacob Banks:

(End of Playlist)

• 44:18 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 44:42 BPD Daily Mantra
• 44:58 OutroConnect with the Host: Nicole Darby: [email protected]Free BPD Support Resources : https://www.showmegrace.org Credits:Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIIISound Engineer: Stefan MitroiResearch Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole Darby sheds light on co-morbidities and their impact on mental health. She explains the significance of the term and explores how understanding co-morbidities can lead to better self-awareness and informed care decisions. Next she discusses using audio and video journaling to help regulate emotions.

Following Tool Time, relax with a Mindful Moment featuring a guided meditation on manifesting your future self. This reflective practice encourages clarity, intention, and personal growth, helping you envision the life you aspire to create.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

• 1:07 Intro to Tool Time
• 1:45 Term of The Day: Co-Morbidities

(Beginning of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

• 3:00 Intro to Tool Time - Audio and Video Journaling

(Beginning of Mindful Moment)

• 5:16 Intro to a Mindful Moment
• 5:32 Beginning of Meditation on Manifesting Your Future Self

(End of Mindful Moment)

• 19:33 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 19:55 BPD Daily Mantra
• 20:11 Outro
• 21:31 “Say Something (A Great Big World)” - Jacob Banks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqbqY_Yiyys

Episode Resources:

• Grow With Guri’s 15-Minute Manifestation Meditation: Manifest Your Future Self”: https://youtu.be/H3TqC60UGoU?si=JF4IJuchQmh-rFiH
• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

  ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: [email protected]

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, Nicole Darby introduces Tool Time, focusing on radical acceptance and its role in understanding self-perception. She provides actionable advice for finding the right therapist and shares a helpful checklist of 10 essential questions to guide your search for the best therapeutic fit.

Following Tool Time, unwind with a Mindful Moment featuring a guided meditation on accepting uncomfortable feelings, fostering self-awareness, and emotional growth.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Intro to Tool Time
• 1:45 Term of The Day: Radical Acceptance
• 4:27 Find the Right Therapist
• 5:45 Checklist: 10 Questions to Use

(End of Tool Time With Nicole Darby)

(Beginning of Mindful Moment)

• 8:00 Intro to a Mindful Moment
• 8:16 Beginning of Meditation on Accepting Uncomfortable Feelings

(End of Mindful Moment)

• 19:10 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 19:31 BPD Daily Mantra
• 19:48 Outro
• 21:06 “Lonely Days” by CocoSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNPLKvVXVqU

Episode Resources:

• Soothing Pod’s Mindfulness Meditation on Accepting Uncomfortable Feelings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_k2y6EQoBk
• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Weekly Support Group: https://www.showmegrace.org/the-brain
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: [email protected]

Credits:

Host and Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle: