I Hate It, Let’s Watch It

If you are one of the millions who endured this 135-minute assault on eyes, ears and quality of life, we see you and we salute you. And we also want to remind you that therapy exists and can help you. (And if that doesn't work, there's always alcohol.) Julia Fox will tell you that she was the muse for this obscenely terrible movie, but we're pretty sure the muse was actually a flaming bag of crap. Oh, and to the 92% of Rotten Tomatoes critics who thought this was a GOOD movie...you can't sit with us.

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We like to think of Canada as a friendly and peaceful country, but that is NOT the experience of this week's movie, Good Neighbours. There's cat murder, human murder and just general murder of hope and faith in humanity, so we actually don't recommend watching this one for a good time. Or any kind of time, really. But if you want to know all the gruesome details without putting yourself through the visual assault, that's what we're here for! Yes, we took this bullet for you. Don't let it be in vain.

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We're ending our month of love with a BANG. Like...a LOT of banging. We watched 365 Days, the occasionally sexy but deeply troubled cousin of Fifty Shades of Grey, and IT. IS. WILD. This movie has it all: aggressive blow jobs, a dangerous mobster with a heart of gold (or at least a penis of gold), and somehow more than one parallel to classic Disney movies. We already can't wait for Part 2 (rumored for release this year), and after listening to our recap, we bet you'll feel the same way.

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This is it, everyone -- the best movie we've done so far. Our month of timeless love stories continues with Killer Sofa. You're in for a WILD ride that includes occult/voodoo rituals, deeply disturbing masturbation scenes and an impressively agile murderous recliner. If you have not watched this movie yet, it is a MUST SEE.

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We're kicking off our three-week Valentine's Day celebration with a nostalgic teen slasher movie from Dawn's past! This is VALENTINE, starring late 90s/early 2000s heartthrob David Boreanaz and some other people we don't quite care about as much. If anyone is out there thinking that romance is dead...well, we (and this movie) couldn't agree more.

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Pop the Champere, it's finale time! Join us one last time as we sing Sylvie's praises, dump on Emily's consistently piss-poor decisions, and sharpen our pitchforks to take down Madeline, the Wicked Witch of the Western Hemisphere.

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Please sign our petition to make Emily in Paris all about Sylvie! We are officially obsessed with her journey this season and watching her handle her personal drama with such poise and strength is a welcome vacation with Emily's hot mess of a situationship. In addition to gushing about Sylvie, we discuss the stigma of age differences in relationships, the art of ghosting, and Dawn shares a very intimate personal story.

Not going to lie, these mid-season episodes of Emily in Paris were boring AF. Sure, we get to know Alfie a little bit more but we also see Emily continue to lie to herself and everyone else about her feelings for Gabriel which is starting to drive us bananas. If there's one thing we can say at this point, it's that we're two episodes closer to to end.

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We know what you're thinking -- an hour is a LONG time to discuss just two episodes of Emily in Paris. But don't worry! A large part of today's episode involves Dawn interrogating Lisa about her potato preferences, a resurrection of our own personal relationship traumas, and no leeks are left behind!

I Hate It, Let's Watch It is back to bring you another year of beautiful dumpster fires, starting with Season 2 of Emily in Paris! Patience is already running thin after witnessing the shenanigans of these first two episodes, so please come on this journey with us because misery loves company.