I Learned Nothing

Pat was feeling saucy so Ben tantalizes him with a stirring discussion of podcast favorite Friedrich Nietzsche's self-effacing autobiography Ecce Homo, which is Latin for "Behold the Homo." Nah, just playing. Joining in on the third mic is comedian, carpet cleaner, and Professor of  Culinary Arts at Columbia University Lando Shepard. The three intrepid lads discuss Nietzsche's work, the chapters of which are titled "Why I Am So Wise", "Why I Am So Clever", and "Why I Write Such Good Books." Seriously, that's he called them. It's nuts. Have a listen, will ya?

Pat was feeling socially distanced so Ben keeps him company as they take a dip in a rather steamy topic: Sex AND Power. As the world reels from the Great Cough of 2020, the WisdomBois talk all things Foucault, focusing specifically on the complex relationship between sex, power, and knowledge, under the avuncular gaze of King Daddy himself: Michel Foucault. Also, since we're all struggling, and if you enjoy the podcast, any little bit helps. If you Venmo $5 to @PatDeanRules, Pat will send you 4 (yes, FOUR!) Patreon episodes if you include your email with your donation. It's a deal, it's a steal, it's a desperate call for help. Thanks!

Pat was feeling nihilistic so Ben calls for back up. Who does he call? Well he's forced to call the Kopswa of course! In these absurd, trying times, Ben decides the perfect antidote is to teach Pat about French existentialist (don't call me that!) and human ashtray Albert Camus, with the help of fellow Austin comic and actual Nobel Prize winner Derek Kopswa. In Episode 122, they discuss life, love, death, and despair while the world burns around them. Wait a minute...What happened to Episode 121? Well, you'll just have to join our Patreon to find out! --> patreon.com/ILearnedNothing

Pat was feeling interpellated so Ben briefs him on the updated Marxist philosophy of the EXTREMELY cancelled French theorist Louis Althusser. Ben spills the tea with Pat about the life and writings of the most tormented son of a bitch in 20th Century French thought. Raised as a nice Catholic boy, Louis took an interest in philosophy early. Unfortunately, his academic career was interrupted when he was suddenly drafted in 1940, immediately captured, and imprisoned as a Nazi POW for the entirety of the war. Then, in 1980, he murdered his wife. He also wrote some philosophy in the middle there. The French, amirite?

Pat was feeling privileged so Ben dives into the nebulous concept that makes Our Country Great: our God-given Rights. Turns out this talk couldn't have come sooner, since 30 minutes in, Pat confuses the FIRST TWO AMENDMENTS in a blooper for the ages. Ben teaches Pat about who has rights, where they come come from and what actions they cover, all the while enduring the distracting snores of Pat's roommate and Mother of Tim, Victoria, who decided to fall asleep on the floor of the living room for some reason. What a country!

Pat was feeling parsimonious so Ben clues him into the cutting edge philosophy of Medieval thinker/virgin William of Okham. Known primarily for his eponymous dictum, Okham's Razor, Willie O also made a name for himself as a nominalist, borderline heretic, and for pissing off the Pope, whom he called out as a member of the one percent. Ben checks Pat on his wanton invocation of Okham's Razor, but in the end, the WisdomBois shake hands and enjoy a good laugh, secure in their knowledge that, since they're both Catholic, they won't be spending eternity in the fires of Hell.

Pat was feeling forward-thinking so Ben dashes all hopes of that with a survey of one of the simplest yet confounding thought experiments in recent philosophy: The Repugnant Conclusion. Based on the writings of late British philosopher/madlad Derek Parfit, The Repugnant Conclusion is the end result of taking Utilitarianism's commitment to maximizing happiness to its logical conclusion. If it's our goal to increase the amount of happiness in the world, it's our duty to maximize the number of lives possible who can experience a small measure of happiness, even if it means these new lives would overall live in misery. How does that make sense? It doesn't! But we can't avoid it! Oh well.

Pat was feeling cybernetic so Ben updates him on the cutting edge of philosophy pioneered by British thinker/arch-nerd Andy Clarke. This enfant terrible of contemporary philosophy of mind has advanced some of the most popular ideas ever written about in WIRED magazine. He's developed a new approach to cognitive science by advocating an embodied theory of mind and has suggested that thought and knowledge manifests itself beyond the constraints of our physical bodies. Pat suggested this one based entirely on the pictures that popped up of Andy on Google and he was totally right: This guy looks ridiculous.

Pat was feeling like the center of the Universe so Ben validates that feeling by teaching him about the controversial Anthropic Principle. As if balking at our improbable existence in this hostile Universe weren't anguishing enough, scientists have started pointing out how the very fact of us observing the Universe is stupid enough to doubt the randomness of the BIG BANG. This means that some of these heathen eggheads are leaving room for the possibility of a designer, which is leaving many a physicist butt-hurt and confused.