Pat was feeling disembodied so Ben teaches him the very French philosophy of 20th Century existentialist/cigarette smoker Maurice Merleau-Ponty. Merleau-Ponty took Edmund Husserl's phenomenology and ran with it. Using this en vogue method, Merleau-Ponty developed a unique system of thought focused on the lived experience through our bodies that thoroughly unnerves Pat. Fun times!

Pat was feeling absent so Ben enrolls I Learned Nothing's first ever guest STUDENT! Friend, comedian, and co-host of Avery and Adam's Christmas Committee Adam Hrabik joins Ben to learn about one of the most chilling and infuriating philosophical thought experiments of all time: The Survival Lottery. Ben gets to annoy someone new for once by challenging Adam's assumptions of what counts as murder, what it means to save a life, and ultimately, who deserves to die. Merry Christmas, everyone! (This is our Christmas Episode, lol.)

Pat was feeling quantifiable so Ben comes in hot with some theories about numbers, and boy is Pat peeved. In what might be the yelliest episode of I Learned Nothing to date, Ben and Pat scream about math for about an hour and a half. Like a fool, Ben convinces himself that he can enlighten Pat on some of the most pressing and troubling questions surrounding the discipline of mathematics, such as the reality of numbers, why this domain of knowledge is so known for its unimpeachable certainty, and why Pat gets so pissed off when Ben brings it up.

Pat was feeling chauvinistic so Ben sets him straight with the revolutionary existentialism of post-colonial philosopher Frantz Fanon. Born in the overseas French department of Martinique in the Lesser Antilles, Frantz Fanon grew up knowing first-hand the degradation of colonial oppression and racism. After training as a clinical psychiatrist and mingling with French titans of existentialism, Fanon published his own theories on racism and its effects on the lived, phenomenological experience of marginalized populations throughout the colonial world. Then he abruptly died of leukemia at the age of 36, in Bethesda, MD of all places. Yikes!

Pat was feeling pragmatic so Ben teaches him the All-American philosophy of William James. James' prolific career and work spanned many diverse topics, such as the philosophy of religion, epistemology, and the foundations of psychology. More than Sigmund Freud, James had a lasting influence on the actual science of psychology, all without having to resort to bonkers theories about child sexuality and our secret desire to fuck our own dads. He also made an essential contribution to the development of Pragmatism, a theory of truth that bluntly posits the notion that truth is whatever works. What's that mean? Listen to find out, stupid!

Pat was feeling misogynistic (again) so Ben had to even the scales by bringing in Gender Studies expert and Pat's certifiably insane roommate Victoria Tyler to help teach Pat how to not hate women. Join Vic and Ben as they clumsily explain to Pat the social & political theories of American philosopher & radical feminist Judith Butler. By walking through the main points in Butler's magnum opus Gender Trouble, Ben reveals to Pat how gender is socially constructed and determined primarily by the cultural pressures we feel while navigating a fraught social life. Also Vic chimes in every once in a while!

Pat was feeling libidinal so Ben clues him into the postmodern philosophy of the man who put a name to the movement: Jean-François Lyotard. In typical French fashion, Lyotard contradicted the running metaphysical theories of the day by bitch-slapping the Enlightenment and its overt reliance on arbitrary meta-narratives. In his seminal work The Postmodern Condition, this French theorist/human chimney identified postmodern philosophy as a shattering of our most deeply held narratives, and a subsequent turn to the variegated experiences of different perspectives and truth regimens. Mai, oui!

Pat was feeling fanatical so Ben brings in a colleague from the University of Mississippi's East Asian Studies Department, Prof. Eric J. Nagurney, to teach Pat about the nationalist philosophy of Yukio Mishima. Mishima, born Kimitake Hiraoka, was (and perhaps remains) Japan's most celebrated novelist of the 20th Century. This dude embodied the unique homegrown philosophy of Bushido, fusing elements of Eastern philosophy, Shinto religion, and the far-right nationalism that got Japan in so much trouble in the 1940's. After being snubbed for a Nobel Prize for the second time, this man-of-letters/fanatic/gay bodybuilder ended his life as you'd expect: Ritual Seppuku!

Pat was feeling conflicted so Ben sorts him out by analyzing the Problem of Dirty Hands. If you’ve ever seen an episode of 24, you’ll be more than familiar with this classic ethical dilemma/tired plot device. If not, it goes kind of like this: As leader of a country or community facing an existential threat to its very survival, do you violate well-established moral norms in order to avoid complete annihilation? At what point do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few? Ben & Pat examine several real-world scenarios and conclude that it’s OK to do something “not tight” for a larger, “tighter” outcome.