Note: Readers are advised to read this book with a pair of scissors in hand.

Sick of being pigeonholed as predictable and boring, Liz decides to surprise everyone by secretly taking surfing lessons. To her (and our) delight, she turns out to be quite the little surfer girl, inadvertently referencing the song Robert’s parents danced to at their bar mitzvah!

As Liz leans in and hangs ten, the hearts of little Becky, adult Becky, and adult Robert begin to soar with the promise of (completely developmentally appropriate) adolescent identity experimentation.

Meanwhile, Jess engages in “boutique terrorism” (hey, we’ve all been to the Gap–we know what the fitting room can look like) to get back at Caroline Pearce for… something?

Join us as we discuss the finer points of surfing, learn why you should never Google your heroes, and do some crucial inner child work, in “I Noticed the Surfboard Gave You a Pretty Good Spanking” (Sweet Valley High #63, The New Elizabeth).