I Used to Be Fun

This is a Nudge with a twist — because last week, my friend Kim Turcotte (you'll remember her from our very first Play Date) sent an email that got me thinking, and I immediately texted her: "We need to talk about this on the podcast."

So we did. Kim and I dig into the phrase "the lazy days of summer" and why so many of us feel the pull to slow down right now — and why that pull isn't laziness, it's wisdom. We talk about the difference between stillness and rest, why summer's fallow time feels so different from winter's, and what Kim calls "untraining" ourselves out of a culture that only knows how to go, go, go.

If you've ever stood over your own to-do list demanding it hurry up and grow, this one's for you.

Kim shares more about living in seasonal rhythm through her Sacred Rhythms offering HERE.

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Sarah Raad has spent her career working with creative women who are stuck in the loop: overthinking, second-guessing, circling the same ideas, and never quite feeling ready. Sound familiar?

In this episode, we dig into why rest isn't laziness, why confidence isn't coming no matter how many online courses you take, and why picking one idea and letting the rest wait might do more for your creativity than chasing every single one.

You'll also hear about the surprisingly powerful case for doing things you're bad at, why creative women need space to think more than they need more advice, and how a monthly journaling session became Sarah's favorite thing she does.

Sarah is a coach and mentor for creative women, and writes the Substack Gather & Grow. Find her at www.sarahraad.com.

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My guest today is Kate Buckmeier — former neighbor, fellow quilter, and the mastermind behind something she calls The Grandma Project. Around her 49th birthday, the idea for the project arrived fully formed: twelve months, twelve activities pulled straight from the lives of her two grandmothers. Golf. Sauerkraut making. Contra dancing. Watching Days of Our Lives.

We talk about why women are so quick to talk themselves out of the ideas that come "fully formed," and why the word serve can feel like both a calling and a trigger. Kate opens up about growing up on her family farm in a small Minnesota town, the theme she calls "the dance between holding on and letting go," and what she now knows about connection, joy, and duty because of the women who helped raised her.

If this stirs something in you — a memory, an idea, a curiosity you've set aside — come find The Wonder Project, my free series of small invitations to reconnect with play.

And, for Kate's original blog post on the project, visit: https://katebuckmeier.com/the-grandma-project/

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Life gets busy. Responsibilities get loud. And somewhere along the way, many of us stop noticing the little things that make us smile. In this episode, we're exploring what happens when we get curious about fun again—and why rediscovering it doesn't have to mean making big changes. Sometimes it starts with a couple simple questions.

Links: 

https://annmarieboyle.com/the-wonder-project/

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If you've ever talked yourself out of the art class, the afternoon off, the thing that would genuinely make your life more beautiful — and told yourself it was about the money or the time — this one's for you. In this Nudge, I'm following a question that found me twice in less than a week: are you letting yourself have the things that bring you joy? Not the things you can justify. Not the things you've earned. The things that actually make you feel more like yourself.

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You've heard a lot from me about reclaiming your right to play. But what does it look like from the other side — from the person in your corner who makes that space possible?

Today I'm welcoming my husband of 26-plus years, known around here as Dr. J, to his very first Play Date. Paul (as people call him IRL) is a professor, an eternally optimistic human, a lover of the outdoors, and the person who has quietly — and not so quietly — been one of the biggest reasons I've been able to keep creativity and play at the center of my life.

We talk about what it actually means to protect your partner's right to play, how to find the Venn diagram overlap where both of your cups get filled, and why play doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing, 78 RPM kind of commitment. (Sometimes 33 is exactly right.)

Paul also answers the question I've been dying to ask on mic: what does it look like when I haven't had enough play in my life? Spoiler: he's very kind about it. And I am... less kind about myself.

If you've ever wondered how to ask for more play in your relationship — or how to be the person who shows up for someone you love — this one's for you.

In this episode:

• Why Paul defines play as a feeling and attitude before it's ever an action
• How Lego, yarn arts, and five-gallon buckets of nostalgia are doing a lot of heavy lifting in our marriage
• The "kidney question" we use to de-escalate way-too-serious moments
• Why invitations (not demands) are the secret to protecting play in a partnership
• What to ask your partner if they can't easily access joy — and how to come at it from the side

Also in the episode, the link to grab The Wonder Project: www.annmarieboyle.com/thewonderproject

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When was the last time you genuinely felt sharp? Not caffeinated sharp — actually sharp? In this Nudge episode, Annmarie digs into why rest is not an earned reward, but a vital input -- and why play might be the most underrated form of rest there is.

Show links: https://annmarieboyle.com/the-wonder-project/

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Kristen Tate is my book editor, a self-described introvert, and someone who has intentionally built play back into her life more than once. Which means this conversation felt a little like sitting down with someone who understands how easy it is to forget fun isn’t supposed to require a permission slip.

We talk about why live music might secretly be the perfect introvert activity, how camping dramatically lowers your expectations in the best possible way, and the oddly liberating experience of going alone to the things you love.

We also chat about the blurry line between work and play, how to recognize when something you once loved has quietly turned into another obligation, and why Kristen spent part of COVID writing a historical mystery longhand… only to deliberately tuck it away in a drawer afterward.

Plus: Kristen shares how she’s able to still read for fun when books are literally her profession and a few low-cost ways to add a little more play to your own life this week.

Find out more about Kristen at: https://www.thebluegarret.com/

Find the show notes at: https://annmarieboyle.com/i-used-to-be-fun-podcast/

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I built a podcast called I Used to Be Fun about reclaiming creativity, play, and joy. So you'd think I'd be great at actually choosing joy. You'd be wrong. In this episode, I get honest about the gap between knowing something and living it — and why "the responsible thing" is sometimes just fear wearing a sensible cardigan.

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For the first Play Date episode of I Used to Be Fun, I brought in one of my besties (made it a little less scary that way!)— Kim Turcotte. Kim helps women reconnect with themselves through cyclical wisdom and intentional practice, which sounds like she has everything figured out. Spoiler: she doesn't. (Her words, not mine.) We talked about play, creativity, and what it actually means to reclaim joy when you're still in the middle of figuring it out yourself. Oh, and roller skating, we talked about that too.

Mentioned in the episode: Grab The Wonder Project HERE.

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